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Slacker & Steve's Blog

What Women Don't Know About Men

There’s a ton of things guys don’t know about women, so one woman put it in her hands to create a list of ten things men don’t know about women.
Check out the list below:
  • We're way more vulgar than you. We just aren't as loud.
  • We don't really mind when you leave the toilet seat up. It's evidence that you didn't piss all over it.
  • We drink till you're cute, too.
  • Whoever told you that we love spooning is wrong. You fall asleep immediately, and we're pinned under your heavy, sweaty limbs, trying desperately to break free before you start snoring. And yes, you will start snoring.
  • No, we don't want to listen to you play the Guns N' Roses song you just learned on your guitar (or bass or drums). We're not in college anymore. Sitting on your couch while you struggle through "November Rain" is painful. Have mercy.
  • "You're so smart" actually means, "You're so adorable when you try to act smart."
  • Sexy beats cute. Smart trumps sexy. Funny takes the pot.
  • When we say cool, really, wow, and huh, we're not listening, either.
  • We don't really expect you to like romantic comedies. We just make you watch them as payback for all the baseball games, Metallica concerts, and Super Bowl parties we sit through with you. And for the record, we, unlike you, have yet to fall asleep in the middle of any of them.
  • We never fake orgasms. Okay, once in a while we do. But only for the sake of expediency.
Do you agree with her? What would you add to this list?
Slacker and Steve are shocked by this list. Especially, the note about spooning...Steve thinks women love to be nurtured and Slacker has never been with a woman that didn’t want to spoon. Slacker has a desire to spoon and it’s not just because of his twenty-five percent estrogen, but he likes to be big spoon, not little spoon. Sadly, he doesn’t even spoon his wife anymore. Steve doesn’t mind being little spoon, at least for a while, but then he has to be the big spoon.
I agree with her mostly, but when I say the word really…I’m usually interested, but when I say cool or huh…Yeah, I’m definitely not paying any attention to what you’re saying. Either that or I heard you; I just don’t really care because there are other things on my mind. When it comes to the toilet seat…No, I still get upset when you don’t put the toilet seat back down after you go. It’s not necessary for me to lift the seat, so it’s not my job to finish your job by putting it back down. The whole spooning thing, this girl is right. It’s great for a few minutes, but it’s true…Why do I want to listen to your obnoxious snoring? Sexy does beat cute. Smart does trump sexy and funny is always number one. The romantic comedies…She’s right, I don’t expect you to like it, but I want to know that you are willing to watch them with me…Get a bit of an understanding of what I like and who I am.
Peace. Love – Assistant Producer Stephanie

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05/08/2012 2:02PM
What Women Don't Know About Men
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05/08/2012 4:40PM
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I think you mean, "What Men Don't Know About Women."
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