If you ever thought there was a time where too much information was not necessary… Well I think what you’re about to read just may be it. When you fly you always get those words of encouragement from the flight attendants that everything is going to be ok, but the Captain on one flight in particular was not very encouraging… or at least he didn’t know how to tell a lie. Flight 2599 on American Airlines, was supposed to be heading to Jackson Hole from Dallas, around 5:30pm, but like most departures, it was delayed… for four hours. Why? Well, the pilots not afraid to tell you… “Our hydraulics is leaking and it wouldn’t really be a good idea if we tried to fly that way,” was his first remark. He also told passengers he was going to spending the time while they waited, watching a video on how to land the plane in Jackson Hole! Apparently, AA requires mandatory viewing for pilots that do not fly into Jackson Hole very often and although the Captain has flown there, he hadn’t been there in over two years! I think that right there is too much information but there’s more to be shared with this Captain. Passengers on flight 2599 had to disembark their first plane because the leak couldn’t be fixed, but there was a delay getting on another plane. Why? Well, let’s let the Captain tell you… “Sorry about the long wait, but the plane had to be cleaned and I don’t just mean the seats needed to be cleaned. The restrooms were really smelly and the whole plane smelled foul, and we certainly weren’t going to let you onboard with it smelling like that.” Yeah, but once they finally were about to take off, here comes the Captain speaking again… “The left door just in front of the engines won’t close and because it’s right in front of the engine, we don’t think flying would be a very wise decision. I’m sure you agree, so we’re going to go back to the gate and fix it.”
Want to know how they fixed it? Here’s the Captain one more time…“That’s right folks, duct tape.” Luckily, the passengers on board the flight did make it to Jackson Hole safely, but seriously… Too much information, don’t you think?
Slacker was at a sporting event one time and a charming, normal lady said she was sitting next to him, so she went to sit down and was making all these noises. Slacker had to ask, “Is something wrong?” She replied by saying she had left her donut… He was thinking, did she hit Krispy Kreme? He said, “Well they have pretzels,” and she gave him the funniest look. Finally, it hit Slacker, “Oh, your donut!” He tried to back pedal but it wasn’t working so excused him-self to go get a beer and never came back.
I once received too much information from a co-worker I used to work with. Actually, it was a story I heard through the grape vine and it’s not really appropriate to write about. All I can say is… Charlie Horse. I’ll let your mind wander with that.