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Slacker & Steve's Blog

Posts from June 2014


Parental Breaking Point
Yi!

A Tennessee woman ended up in jail after police said she burned her grown son’s clothes in an apparent attempt to persuade him to clean up after himself. According to a police report, Cumberland County sheriff’s deputies were dispatched to a house in Crossville early Saturday morning to respond to a report of a domestic disturbance. When they arrived, they found a pile of clothes burning in a carport. According to Deputy Chuck Hennessee, the son, Daniel Hill, said he and his mother, Theresa Marie Conley, 53, had been drinking and that while he was passed out on a couch, his mother gathered up several articles of clothing he had left lying around the house, including his work uniforms, carried them to the carport and set them on fire. No one was injured, but the residence sustained fire damage to some vinyl siding, according to Hennessee’s report. Conley was charged with reckless burning and vandalism and was placed under a $1,500 bond.

Slacker admits he had a moment that he lost it with his son, Noah. He took him to the Renaissance Festival and bought him a sword. It was made of wood and Noah is leaving marks all over the wall with it. He kept pretending to go after Slacker with the sword and swinging it in his face. Slacker told him to stop and warned Noah that if he touched him with it, he would take the sword away. Noah tested him and put it in his face again but hit him in the eye. Slacker grabbed the sword and smashed it into a thousand pieces.

Did you destroy a toy? Turn them into the police? What happened when your reached your parental breaking point?

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OPP: Ex is Still Appealing
Yi! Here is today's unsigned OPP:

Yi Slacker and Steve, I have a huge problem that I need advice on. I just recently got engaged to my fiancé and we are very much in love and I want to set a date so bad but one thing is making me hesitant, my ex boyfriend. We dated for 2 years and was my first real love and boyfriend. I love my fiancé with all my heart and see a future with him, but is it ever possible to forget your first love? Please help.

Steve says every woman can relate to this one. He thinks every single woman in a relationship has someone from their past that they are still pining for. Steve said guys just move on. They remember the times fondly but they don't ever want to go back and be with someone they broke up with. He says this is why he will never marry. He thinks every married woman is probably settling and he doesn't want to play second fiddle to someone.

Slacker said he is a scorched earth kind of a guy. Once a relationship is over, he is done with it and knows there is a reason it didn't last.

What advice do you have for her? Do you still have feelings for your first love?

(Photo courtesy Freedigitalphotos.net)
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Awkward Interviews
Yi!

Londoner Mukra Mirza recently stripped naked during a job interview. The IT company wrote a letter following the interview that read: “Where as we loved your Karaoke version of ‘It’s Raining Men” we feel the strip tease was a little unnecessary. We all enjoyed his extrovert performance and big effort to impress, but finding a role for him is going to prove difficult. We don’t have much call for an individual who strips and breaks into song in IT recruitment. We suggest moving forward you seek medical attention before attending further interviews.''

Slacker and Steve said one of the greatest parts of being in radio is that we never have to go through interviews. Instead, we just send an MP3 to people and they tell you if you got the job or not. Steve said he hates it when people ask dumb questions like, "What kind of tree would you be" in interviews. He turns it around and asks the interviewer what the worst part of working for the company is.

What's the weirdest thing that's ever happened to you in an interview?

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Anyone Listening Who
Yi!

Time for another 'Anyone Listening Who'. This time, Slacker thinks more of you are leading a double life. Steve thinks more of you have fainted in a fantastic way! Lil D thinks more of you have been part of a bank robbery!

Slacker is still mad about the fact he hasn’t won yet.  He thinks that there are teachers out there that turn into strippers at night thus making them live a double life.

Steve has won the past three weeks in a row, and Slacker is very upset about it. A girl fainted in the white house and it was an epic ordeal.

Lil D said it doesn’t matter if you’re the teller, the robber, or the cop that showed up afterwards. He still thinks people have witnessed a bank robbery more than Steve or Slacker’s ideas.

Who do you agree with?

I agree with Slacker, I just don’t know if people are willing to admit it. I think a robbery is very uncommon in most people unless you count stealing something from a store without putting someone at gun point. I have fainted in a crazy way, but not interesting enough to tell the story on a radio station.

Signed,
Intern Nikki

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Biters
YI!
 
What do Luis Suarez and Mike Tyson have in common? They both have a habit of biting! Recently Uruguay's star soccer player, Luis Suarez, decided to get a taste of his opponent by biting his shoulder! This isnt the first time either!

Suárez, the Uruguayan striker who has emerged as one of the best players in the world over the past year, is a biter. And, it seems, a serial one. For the third time in his career, Suárez is facing potential punishment for appearing to sink his teeth into an opponent. This time, it happened on the biggest soccer stage of all, the World Cup, during Uruguay’s 1-0 victory over Italy on Tuesday. Late in the second half, Suárez bumped into Giorgio Chiellini, an Italian defender, while jockeying for position in the penalty area and then dropped his head into Chiellini’s shoulder. Chiellini immediately recoiled as both fell to the ground. For the moment, however, Suárez has to deal with only the snarky justice dispensed on social media. Evander Holyfield, the former boxer who infamously had part of his ear bitten off by Mike Tyson, wrote on Twitter, “I guess any part of the body is up for eating.” That was only topped, perhaps, by the official Twitter account of McDonald’s Uruguay, which wrote to Suárez, “If you feel hungry, come take a bite of a Big Mac.”

Slacker says that the soccer player attacked the other guy like a vampire! He claims that he has a high tolerance for pain. He says that he had a girl that tried to bite him a long time ago, she just asked him to see how hard she could bite him. Slacker says she started to bite his forearm and almost instantly he wanted to retract his high tolerance quote. He says she was gnawing on it and pulling on his skin to try to make him feel pain! Slacker says that at one point he was bleeding and he started to freak out because he heard once that the human mouth is really gross!
 
Steve wonders if it’s his thing because he is just bad at soccer.
 
Lil D thinks that Slacker has no tolerance for pain because someone stepped on his toe once and thats all he was complaining about the rest of the night!
 
What is your biter story?
 
Signed,
Intern Tyler
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Caught In A Lie
YI!
 
You've probably heard by now that the family of the little girl that was allegedly kicked out of a KFC was busted for making the story up! A French boy was busted for faking a kidnapping!
 
3-Year-Old Kicked Out Of KFC? The Story's A Hoax, Says KFC
KFC says that a 3-year-old with facial injuries was never kicked out of one of its franchises.
"After the alleged incident was reported to us, two investigations took place, including one by an independent investigator. Neither revealed any evidence that the incident occurred, and we consider the investigation closed," KFC spokesman Rick Maynard said Tuesday evening, per Reuters. Nevertheless, the company says it still plans to donate $30,000 to the girl's recovery fund. After the family's version of the story went viral and donations poured in, KFC began reviewing the situation. Now, a source close to the investigation has come forward, claiming the incident never happened. The family, however, is sticking to its original story. Kelly Mullins says she was with her 3-year-old granddaughter, Victoria Wilcher, at a KFC in Jackson, Mississippi, on May 15 when an employee told the two to leave because the little girl's face was scaring customers. Wilcher had survived a pit bull attack in April; she had lost an eye and was still recovering from a broken nose, a broken upper and lower jaw and shattered cheekbones, according to the Facebook page her family uses to document her recovery.
 
Boy Makes Up Kidnapping Story Because He Skipped His Dentist Appointment
No one likes going to the dentist, but a 12-year-old French boy has to deal with a lot more than the possibility of a cavity after he got caught ditching his dentist appointment ... and blamed it on getting kidnapped. The boy concocted the abduction story after police found him wandering around the small village of St. Gervais when he was supposed to be at his appointment. He told the police that when he was on his way to the dentist a 30-something-year-old man, who was about 5-foot-6 and had a scar on his face, pulled up next to him and asked him for directions and then pulled him into the car and drove away. He then explained that the kidnapper had to make an unexpected stop and that's when he was able to get away. At first, the local police took the story very seriously, but a review of video footage made them question him further. After putting the pressure on, the kid fessed up that he made up the tale because he was petrified of getting his teeth cleaned. No word on what his punishment will be ... though it seems like going to his appointment may be punishment enough.
 

Slacker yells at Steve about how Oreo stole the idea from the Hydrox cookie! He said he found an article that explained the truth! Slacker says that Oreo can never recover from the candy corn cookie they made last Halloween! He says it would be a bad time to be a big guy with a scar on your face in St. Gervais!
 
Steve is in denial and still claims that Hydrox is the poor man’s cookie! He says that they use fake white frosting stuff that tastes horrible!
 
Have you ever been caught in a lie?
 
Signed,
Intern Tyler


 
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OPP: Can't Stop Looking
YI!

Today’s OPP is from Eric:

Yi! After a bad divorce and an engagement that ended, I met the perfect woman. She is attractive, kind, thoughtful, career-oriented and very romantic. She even cooks, cleans and does my laundry. My friends are jealous. Lately, I have found myself looking at other women all the time. It doesn’t matter where I am, I can’t help but check them out and admire their beauty. What is wrong with me? I have the perfect woman so why are my eyes wandering so much?
Eric
 
Slacker says its ok because were all human! He says the biggest thing he is hung up on is the fact that he wants to say it’s natural, but if it was natural Eric wouldn’t have sent him a letter. Slacker says that even his own wife does it! He thinks that Eric may be looking for the next thing because of his past relationships.
 
Steve says it’s because he is a guy. He says that it’s ok to lust after the other women as long as you don’t act upon it, were all doing it!
 
What advice do you have for Eric?
 
I think Eric shouldn’t worry about it too much, everyone does it! In my opinion it’s ok to admire others when in a relationship, as long as you don’t follow up on anything!
 
Signed,
Intern Tyler
 
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Natural Disasters
YI!
 
We know natural disasters are sad and take lives, but if you've ever been through one you probably have a pretty amazing story to tell! Like the guy that was recently struck by lightning and lived to tell about it!
 
A Georgia man was blown out of his work boots when lightning hit him over the weekend, and he even took a photo of his smoking shoe. He was raking leaves over the weekend when a bolt of lightning hit him in the right foot. He said, "I heard a loud crashing sound. A few moments later I was picking myself up off the ground. I had the taste of blood in my mouth. I noticed my leg was burning a little bit." He only realized that he had been hit by lightning when he looked across his driveway and saw his boot still smoking. His wife later rushed him to local hospital, where he was treated for an irregular heartbeat and kept overnight.
 
Slacker says he has never laid eyes on a tornado. He says that anyone who chases after tornados is crazy because a cow or even a pencil could hit you!
 
Steve claims that he survived the biggest doomsday of them all, Y2K! He also says that he used to watch tornados destroy other towns around him but they would never hit his town. Steve says an Indian told him it was because his town had 3 rivers. He also says that he climbed Mt. Saint Helens the day before it erupted!

Lil D says that he narrowly survived a tornado. He talks about how his sister, mom and he were all driving though a random town when they heard a tornado warning. Lil D says the tornado was in a field close by and his mom flew down the interstate to safety. He says that later on, at a hotel, he turned on the T.V. and saw that the town was destroyed by the tornado!
 
What is your natural disaster story?
 
Signed,
Intern Tyler

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Anyone Listening Who
Yi!

Another week means another 'Anyone Listening Who'! This week Slacker thinks more of you have had the cops show up at a kid's party. Steve thinks more of you have been in trouble for something because of our show. Lil' D thinks more of you are trying to get fired from your job. 

Slacker and Steve both think that Dave is trying to get fired because he smacks his gum very loudly and it is annoying. The only reason he thinks cops always show up at a kid’s party is because the parents always end up getting drunk at the party and some drama happens.

Steve says that he thinks the show gets people in trouble because he thinks the Great Mate Debates cause arguments between couples in the car.

Lil D said he purposely tried getting fired at his law firm job. He was put in a closet to type up police reports and he hated it.

Who do you agree with?

Signed,
Intern Nikki

(Photo courtesy Freedigitalphotos.net)
 
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Foods You Find Disgusting
YI!
 
There are some foods that are completely disgusting for one reason or another. (Click here for a list of a few)
 
Slacker says he doesn’t mind a Big Mac except for the sauce that they put on it! He also says that Steve and him got into an argument about olives. Slacker is upset because he has been proven wrong! He thinks someone hurt Lil D when he was younger because now Lil D doesn’t like any kind of breakfast food.
 
Steve says everyone loves a big mac except for Slacker. He says that green olives are not as ripe olives as the black ones and was proven right! Steve says tomatoes are dumb but pizza sauce is ok. He says that eggs are basically ovaries of the chickens and its gross
 
Lil D hates tomatoes as well, his grandparents used to say that they tasted delicious home grown so he tried it… said it tasted the same! He stands by his decision to not like tomatoes. Lil D doesn’t like any kind of food that is for breakfast. He says eggs are just gross, hash browns are always burnt, and as for pancakes, he wants to know who gets up in the morning and wants dessert!
 
What everyday food disgusts you?

I would have to agree with Steve and Lil D, tomatoes are disgusting! They make everything gross.
 
Signed,
Intern Tyler

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Flight Follies
YI!
 
Some crazy things go down at 35,000 feet; recently a flight recently had to be diverted after a man became heated while arguing with his family and went after a flight attendant! A man on another flight actually punched a flight attendant!
 
Flight Diverted After Dad Has Meltdown in Front of His Kids
A JetBlue flight from New York to Las Vegas was diverted to Detroit over the weekend after a man lunged at a flight attendant in front of his family. The man is shown in another passenger’s video shouting at the crew member as his children plead with him to stop and another person tries to hold him down. He was yelling in a foreign language and did not speak English, so no one had any idea what he was upset about. The flight was in the air for about an hour when the incident happened, and the man appeared to be in a heated argument with his family before others became involved. Once the plane landed in Detroit, the man was arrested and taken to a local hospital for evaluation, but it’s not clear what charges he may face.
 
Another obnoxiously drunk passenger... punches flight attendant
A drunken man who was celebrating his honeymoon was arrested after hitting a flight attendant while flying from Japan to Honolulu. Flight attendants said the man was drunk beforehand, and he continued to drink during the flight. He became angry when attendants didn’t take away his tray because they were busy. The man responds by punching one of the attendants. He could face up to 20 years in prison.
 
Slacker says that Steve was trying to mess with him on a airplane, while he was in the bathroom, but it didn’t work!
 
Steve says that he waited for Slacker to lock the door and once that happened he started banging on the wall to bug Slacker. He says that after a minute of doing this a flight attendant popped around the corner and explained to Steve that he wasn’t banging on the bathroom wall… instead he was banging on the wall that had drinks, bottles and cans! Steve says that he was knocking them off of the wall.
 
What is your flight follies story?
 
Signed,
Intern Tyler

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OPP: Cant Small Talk
YI!
 
Today’s OPP is from Jarred:
 
Jarred says he and his girlfriend were high school sweethearts and recently just broke up. Now he wants to get back into the game. Jarred says he is having a hard time meeting, talking, and keeping conversation with women. He is at a loss and needs some advice.
 
Slacker says that the bar and having a little bit of liquid courage in you might help out a little bit. He says that he or Steve doesn’t have any kind of game so he just doesn’t know what advice to give Jarred.
 
Steve says he needs to close the deal but in order to do this he first needs to learn how to open the deal. He says that it’s hard to meet women if he can’t speak to them.
 
What advice do you have for Jarred?
 
I think Jarred needs to find his personality and charm when it comes to meeting women. To do this you just have to keep trying and get out there, even if you fail a hundred times. Eventually he will find out what works for him.
 
Signed,
Intern Tyler

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Work Confessions
YI!

There have been a ton of stories in the news lately of people confessing to unbelievable things they do at work.
 
An employee at a Pennsylvania water plant was arrested after he was caught peeing in a filtering unit. The employee was caught by the facilities chief water operator. He was charged with tampering with a public water system, institutional vandalism and criminal mischief. It wasn’t known WHY he didn't use a restroom…
 
Slacker claims that Steve never looks at these situations from other people’s point of view. He says it’s insane that the employee did this because of the potential bacteria he could have spread! Slacker says that he isn’t the one that gets called high maintenance at a coffee shop!  He says that if a barista says “Your mom called” then they will mess with your order, like give you decaf coffee instead.
 
Steve is grateful the employee did it in the filtration system because anywhere else it would have been bad! He says that every time Slacker and him go to a coffee place, the baristas always say “Your mom called” whenever Slacker orders.
 
What is your workplace confession?
 
Signed,
Intern Tyler

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Butt Dial
Yi!

One Ohio mother is extremely upset about the message she received recently from her son's kindergarten teacher. After the Crestwood Elementary School teacher left a standard message for mother Ashley Moore, the teacher apparently thought she had hung up the phone and began bad-mouthing Moore's son while still on the line, according to Ohio outlet WOIO-TV. The teacher's harsh opinion of the boy was recorded on Moore's phone. "He has no common sense," the teacher -- who has not been identified -- said in the recording. "He was 7 in May, and he's the biggest baby in my group. She still probably wipes his butt." Moore told The New York Daily News that the call was supposed to deal with her son's educational progress. The boy reportedly has ADHD, autistic tendencies and gross motor skills issues. Moore says she has enrolled her son in a new school. "He's afraid," she told WOIO. "He does not want to go back to her [the teacher]."

Slacker said Steve has recently butt dialed him but it was boring because Steve was trying to barter for a toy. Slacker once butt dialed Lil D while he was singing a Gavin Degraw song at the top of his lungs.

What is the worst butt dial or cell phone mishap you've ever had?

WFSB 3 Connecticut
 
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OPP: Trip With Mom
Yi! Today’s OPP is from Monica:

Yi! My birthday was last week and as a surprise, my mom gave me the best gift. She's sending me on a two-week trip to Japan – a place I've dreamed of going since I was 12. There's only one caveat – she's going with me. Now I love my mother, don't get me wrong. But she is needy and overbearing and complains about everything and I honestly can't decide if I should take the trip knowing she has to come with me. I don't want to miss out on a trip of a lifetime, but I'm afraid it'll be a two-week disaster if I have to go with her. What should I do??
Monica

Slacker said he would think Monica was being a brat if she just didn't want to go with her mom. He thinks taking your dream trip with a complainer would be awful no matter who you went with. Slacker thinks that Monica needs to give her mom clear expectations of what the trip should be. Take her to the local Asian fish market and let her get overwhelmed with the smells and different languages just to see how she handles it. He thinks if Monica knows for certain that it will be a nightmare, she needs to leave mom at home.

Steve said he would probably be Monica's mom--he would be the guy going to Japan and looking for Panda Express. Steve thinks that Monica should plan another trip with her mom and take her dream trip by herself or with a friend she can enjoy it with. If she can't talk mom out of going, plant a gun in her luggage and rat her out at the airport.

Should Monica go with mom or turn down the trip and try to go later?

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Behind My Back
Yi! We got a letter from a woman and you won’t believe the decision her husband made behind her back about their son:

Yi,
I am so upset right now I don't know what to do! My husband and I have a son that just turned a year old. He had his 1-year checkup a week ago but I couldn't make it because of my work schedule. My husband took him instead. We had discussed what would happen at the appointment and I specifically told him that I did not want our son to get any vaccines. I've done a lot of reading on them and found there are a lot of dangerous ingredients in them and absolutely no proof that they actually work.
So, our son was running a fever and my husband said that the doctor told him it may happen because of the shots he got! I got so upset and asked if he let the doctor give our son vaccines and he said yes! He said it was crazy not to protect him any way we could. I am beside myself! He went behind my back and put our son in danger! What should I do?
Danielle

Slacker understands why Danielle is mad, but he doesn't understand why anyone would ever think vaccines are a bad thing. He rolled the dice with his kids and got them vaccinated. He said he and his wife talked about it and decided that it was better to risk something happening from the vaccines than to let his kids be susceptible to disease.

Steve says that Danielle and her husband discussed the problem and she apparently let her wishes be known. Steve said his brother-in-law took his nephew to get his first haircut and brought the kid home with a mohawk and a pierced ear.

Do you agree with Danielle or her husband? What has someone done behind your back?

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Anyone Listening Who
Yi!

Another week means another Anyone Listening Who! This week, Slacker thinks more of you have had to go to the emergency room for something embarrassing. Steve thinks more of you have something bizarre in your freezer that isn't food. And Lil D thinks more of you have driven naked.

Slacker thinks Steve is going to win this week. He knows for sure Lil D will not win. Slacker says he has changed his shirt driving so many times. He thought Steve’s idea is stupid until he realized his uncle has his finger in his freezer after it got cut off in an accident. He had a friend who worked at the ER and said a man had a battery stuck up his daddy part. Ouch!!

Steve says so far he is winning the competition. He thinks he knows the listeners better than the other two.  He used to hide drugs in his freezer.

Lil D has never driven naked. He doesn’t even have a story for it. He just wants to hear why someone would drive naked.

Who do you agree with?

Signed,
Intern Nikki

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Facebook Fakers
 Yi!

An Alabama teen was arrested because she tried getting her aunt killed by a guy she met on Facebook. The aunt was tired of random guys coming over her house. She made a fake Facebook account to catch her niece in lies and when her niece asked who she thought was a random person on Facebook to kill her family, the aunt called the cops.

Slacker says that the Facebook people made them get a new Facebook because it was Slacker AND Steve. He thinks it is so stupid. He thinks this story is absolutely insane. He knows women who create fake Facebook profiles to trap their husbands into talking to women online. They create profiles with pictures of women that intrigue their men and trap them. So dirty.

Steve creeps people on profiles using Slackers or someone else’s.  He DOES NOT create fake profiles though.  

What did you fake on Facebook?

 Signed,
Intern Nikki  

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Dads
Yi!

Father's Day is almost here and we want to reminisce. They give us guidance and wisdom, but sometimes things can go wrong.

Slacker said Lil’ D has a weird finger and he wants to throw up when he looks at it. He was allowed to go to the liquor store with a note from his dad. Can you imagine a time when that was allowed? This liquor store let him come in at 12 years old and order a 12 pack and bike it back home.

Steve is laughing hysterically at Slacker making fun of Lil’ D. He says his finger is seriously huge. He only remembers his dad as being perfect. He would let Steve drive his car around town all the time.

Lil’ D has a gimpy finger because of his dad. He was supposed to be watching him and his brother and they ended up messing around. They were playing in a garage and an entire car fell on his finger. It literally exploded from all the pressure of the car. His dad threw some iodine on it and a week later they went to the hospital and there was no bone left in his finger.

What crazy thing happened to you and your dad?

Signed,
 Intern Nikki

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OPP: Not Getting Skinny for the Wedding
Yi!

Today’s OPP comes from Hannah:
Yi! My wedding is in three months and I'm so sick of starving myself and exercising until I'm ready to pass out, that I've decided to stop all forms of diet and exercise before the big day. My friends and family think I'm crazy and that I'll totally regret not being in the best shape of my life for all the pictures and videos, but I don't care. I have so many things about this wedding that are stressing me out that I don't want this to be another thing that drives me over the edge. Do you think I'm crazy for not caring about this? Have any other brides done this? Will I regret it?
Hannah
 
Slacker says that no brides have done this but maybe wish they had! He thinks it is awesome that she wants to be herself and be comfortable in her own skin at her wedding. He thinks that her friends and family telling her she is going to regret it is messed up. He wishes he was healthier than he is right now, but starving yourself isn’t the way to get there.

Steve thinks she will definitely regret it. He thinks that the fact the girl wants to stop being healthy says something about her marriage-to be. If you look two years down the road she is going to get back in the gym and look at the photos and not show anyone the photos because she’s embarrassed. If she didn’t want to starve herself she should’ve started the dieting and exercising sooner. Steve thinks there are more upsides to dieting and exercising then looking good in pictures.

What advice can you give Hannah?

Signed,
 Intern Nikki

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GMD: Car for Responsibility
Yi!

Patrick wants to buy his 16-year-old daughter a brand new car for safety reasons. But Angela doesn't think their daughter has shown that she is responsible enough. Yes, it is the Great Mate Debate.

Slacker says this is like the chicken and the egg issue. What came first? Slacker had a junker car and he treated it like a junker. His friends even treated it like a junker. But the kids he knew that were given the responsibility of a new car did treat the car right. The mom makes an argument that their daughter loses her keys all the time. Half of Slacker thinks the dad is an idiot. Half of him thinks the dad is smart and it would teach the girl to be an adult.

Steve bought his nephew a brand new car and his nephew trashed it. He would not buy a 16-year-old girl a brand new car. He is still making payments on the car and insurance.

Whose side are you on?

I’m on the mom’s side. No 16-year-old “deserves” a brand new 2014 car. Ever.

Signed,
 Intern Nikki

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Sleepwalk/talk
YI!
 
When you’re sleeping, you never have control of whether you sleepwalk or talk.

A Montana woman kicked and struck her boyfriend with a shotgun because he said bad things about her in his sleep. The boyfriend tells police the two were sleeping when he awoke to the 24-year-old woman kicking him and telling him he was talking in his sleep-- saying bad things about her. She also shot out his front tire and smashed his windshield when he tried to leave. He wasn't seriously injured and she was arrested for assault.
 
Slacker says that he has been sleep abused by his wife! He says that whatever she is attacking in her sleep must be where Slacker sleeps. Slacker thinks that the boyfriend might have been faking it and just decided to say those things to bug her. He talks about how his boy sleepwalks with his eyes open, but it’s weird because his eyes are wide open like a zombie! Slacker says Steve needs to come to his house and witness it.
 
Steve says that because of these stories Slacker is going to have to be afraid for his family! He says you should never wake up a sleepwalker because you might kill them!
 
What is your crazy sleepwalk/talk story?
 
Signed,
Intern Tyler

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Fell Down
YI!

At your wedding...at graduation...while receiving recognition from the president! There are plenty of embarrassing moments to fall, even if your an amazing athlete!
 
President Obama was rescuer-in-chief Monday, jumping in to help a tumbling UConn champ during a White House visit. Huskies player Stefanie Dolson got carried away in excitement Monday as she stood among her teammates on risers in the East Room, as both the men’s and women’s basketball teams were praised for their NCAA victories. But Obama's adulations got the better of the 6-foot-5 center, who took a spill from her perch as Obama passed by. Though he tried to offer comfort in her state of embarrassment, Dolson turned her back to the commander-in-chief and hid her head in her hands. Finally, she recovered her pride, laughed it off, shook hands with Obama and even curtsied to the crowd. (Click here for original story)
 
Slacker has had a lot of random falls throughout his life. He talks about a story when the mall he was used to going to remodeled and he walked into the window and left his greasy face stain on the glass! Slacker says he is sure he was looking at the attractive girl working at the juice shop which made him not pay attention. He says that he remembers a time that Steve fell off of a chair and it was hilarious.
 
Steve says he controls gravity and doesn’t ever fall. He proved this when Lil D tried to pull his chair out from him and he did not fall. Steve says that he caught himself when he “fell” off of the chair so it doesn’t count.
 
Lil D says that on his first day at middle school he was running across a field in front of everyone, his new baggy jeans fell down to his ankles and he dug his face into the ground. He says that from then on he was known as “Stork Legs.”

What is your most embarrassing public fall moment?

I was riding my bike to work one day and the sun was shining into my eyes, what I didn’t see was a stop sign in front of me. I hit the sign straight on, flew over the handlebars and landed on the front lawn of a random house. Best part is, someone drove by right when it happened, they were pointing and laughing as I laid there!
 
Signed,
Intern Tyler

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OPP: Turned Down Proposal Too Many Times
YI!

Today’s OPP is from Allison:

Allison says she and her boyfriend David have been together for four years and he has proposed four times to her. She turned him down every time because she felt that they were too young and they weren’t ready. Now Allison wants David to propose because she is finally ready and they are both financially stable.
 
Slacker says that the dog will eventually become afraid of the paperboy because the paperboy always throws the paper! He says that he wouldn’t have stayed around after the first proposal; it’s not fair to keep the guy around if you’re not into him. Slacker says that it was the right thing to do to not marry him earlier because she wasn’t ready.
 
Steve agrees with Allison not being ready but you can’t keep turning the guy down its repetitive abuse! He says that because David got a raise at work she now wants to keep him around for the money he is now making. Steve thinks that David may have already moved on from the proposal stage.
 
What do you think Allison should do?
 
I think Allison is just going to have to wait now. It’s tough enough to get turned down on one proposal, let alone four! She should probably start dropping hints very bluntly and basically letting him know that she is finally ready.
 
Signed,
Intern Tyler

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Step Up or Step Off
YI!
 
Slacker was at an event and someone told him their son was involved in sexting! The boy has been receiving pictures among other naughty texts and now they're wondering if they should say something to the girl's parents.
 
Slacker doesn’t know what he would do. He thinks they would find a way to do it even if they intervened. Slacker says the main problem is trouble with the law, because even at that age there can be issues with child pornography. He says that if you are to approach the parents you need to do it calmly and not freak out and beat down the other kid’s door. Slacker says that if it was his daughter he would want to know.
 
Steve says he would approach it like he would with his son making out with a girl or even playing doctor. He says if the kid is doing it with others just let one of the other parents do the dirty work for you. Steve says if he found out if Slackers daughter did something like this he would

Would you step up or step off?
 
Signed,
Intern Tyler

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Anyone Listening Who
Yi!
Another week, another “Anyone Listening Who.” This week, Slacker thinks more of you have hooked up with a C-list celebrity. Steve thinks more of you have a bullet hole in your car or home. Lil D thinks more of you have accidentally maced yourself.

Slacker gives Steve crap for thinking people have bullet holes in their cars or homes. He questions who he hangs out with. Slacker says a C-list celebrity is someone like Dustin Diamond. It depends on who thinks is a C-list celeb. Athletes are way too easy though. He watched a girl throw herself at Edwin McCain who has gained tons of weight and is not attractive. He says it has to be a crappy celeb.

Steve says no one is going to call in about making themselves and gives Lil’ D a bunch of crap. Steve thinks that people really do have bullet holes in their cars because of hunting accidents and drive-by’s in the ghetto.

Lil’ D accidentally maced himself when he was 7 years old. He was going to spray the wall in his bedroom and it got everywhere, his eyes were burning, and he was choking.

Whose team are you on and why?

Signed,
Intern Nikki

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Get Out Of a Date
Yi!
If you’re out on a date and you’re net really connecting with the other person, what do you do? Obviously, you have a friend call you with an “emergency.” Duh! But now there’s an App that will do it for you! It is called Guardian Angel.

Slacker this app makes technology so horrible. He has used fake-a-call. That’s also an app you can use to get out of stuff. One of the apps actually has a person call you so it looks legit. Before smart phones and technology, you had to have your friends call you. He got married to get out of a bad date. This girl called the radio station and he meets her. He didn’t have a connection with her at all. He needed saving. His ex-wife came up to the girl and was like, “Is my husband flirting with you?”  And then after that they really got married.

Steve never says goodbye to anyone ever. There’s a moment where Steve ghosts out of the place. On dates, he has wanted to do that. He sees the date through to make sure she got home safe. When he worked nights at Alice he used to set up these blind dates and would bring radio station swag. If the blind date wasn’t working out  he would say he was a PR guy for the station and give the girl the shirt or whatever the swag was that night.

What excuse have you used to get out of a date?

I have used every excuse in the book to get out of dates. The best one was when I said my cat had her kittens and I had to leave to make sure she was oaky. I didn’t even have a cat. Ha!

Signed,
Intern Nikki
 
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Drunk or Kid
Yi!
The beginning of another month means it's time for another round of Drunk or Kid! You tell us your ridiculous story and we'll try to guess if it happened to you when you were drunk or a kid!
  1. Dave is on the back porch with a railing to keep people from falling. He wasn’t paying attention to how close he was to the edge, he fell off the deck. His neighbor’s house was built a foot away from his and he got stuck in between him and his neighbor’s house for two hours. Someone tried calling the authorities; they had to tear through the foundation of his neighbor’s house to get him out.
Slacker- Drunk. If he was a kid then they could’ve got him out.
Steve- Kid. He has no reasoning.
Lil’ D was 5 year old. Slacker got a point.
  1. Dave was at a night time gathering and he disappeared. He lived near the woods and everyone tried finding him and they called the cops and search parties. No one could find him. Dave came stumbling out of the woods saying “I’m sorry I had to make a phone call.”
Slacker- Kid. Someone would never call the cops on someone that went missing if they were drunk.
Steve- Kid.
Lil’ D was a 7 year old kid in Georgia.  Neither get a point.
  1. John was on the sidewalk running around dancing like a sea horse, he gets mad because he fell down and his friend laughed. He locked his friend out of the house.
Slacker- Drunk. It is almost too stupid to not pick drunk.
Steve- Kid.
John was wasted. Slacker got a point.
  1. Marsha was camping and decided to go for a walk. They found a water pump that was missing a handle, so she pulled the metal part out of it and the water was pouring everywhere. Her feet got wet and she fell and hurt her mommy parts. She still has scars.
 
Slacker- Kid.
 Steve- Kid.
 Marsha was drunk as a skunk. Both get a point.
  1. Rob was with his friends and was playing catch in front of his house. The ball hits the double paned window. He goes to get the ball out of the window and he scrapes both of his arms badly and is bleeding everywhere.
 
Slacker- Drunk. He bled a lot so he was definitely drunk.
 Steve- Kid. Reverse psychology.
 Rob was 12 years old. Steve got a point.
 
  1. Gretchen was camping in the mountains and there was a festival. She needs to use the restroom and is waiting in line. She was doing the potty dance, she peed her pants.
Slacker- Drunk.
Steve- Kid.
Gretchen was drunk. Slacker got a point.
  1. Ashley was hanging out at the pool and she put her finger stuck in a jet. The fire department got called. It took 5 hours to get her finger out.
 
Slacker- Kid
 Steve- Drunk.
 Ashley was 7 years old. Slacker won!
 
Signed,
Intern Nikki

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OPP: Sleeping Together at Parents' House
Yi!

Sarah and her fiancé Jeff have been together for 3 years and live together. They are going to visit her mom for her birthday, but her mom refuses to let Sarah and Jeff sleep in the same bed at her house. She understands her mom's house rules, but she is tired of being treated like a 15-year-old.

Slacker says when he went to visit his wife’s family in Brazil they definitely slept in the same bed. He says there are certain things you start to do when you’re an adult. You reach a point when you stop being a little girl or boy and start being more of a friend with your parent. If you’re allowed to be an adult in every other way like drinking and smoking, then why couldn’t she just sleep in the room with her fiancé?  He says when his kids are in their 20’s and they’re coming to visit, then he would let them sleep together.

Steve thinks it is rude when people have relations in bedrooms that are not theirs. He thinks people automatically assume that when 2 people share a room, they’re going to get down and dirty. He thinks it would be weird if they had relations in their bed at their house. It is the cleanup factor.

What should Sarah do?

Signed,
Intern Nikki

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GMD: Not Gonna Be A Truck Driver
Yi!

Today's Great Mate Debate is about a couple quarreling over a job. Roger has a Master's Degree, but hasn't found a job yet. Megan's father owns a trucking company and said he would hire Roger so that he can have an income. But Roger refuses to be a truck driver.

Slacker asked Roger if he thinks he is better than driving a truck. He answered yes.  He asks Megan if she is worried he won’t find the administrative position he wants, and she said yes.  Slacker says this could be a job that you can have until he finds a job he really loves. He doesn’t want to come off like Roger being snooty and looking down on truck drivers. He makes the point that truck drivers are very important and everything we see with our eyes, they brought here.

Steve asks Roger if he can have the truck driver job until he can find a job in his field. He said he doesn’t want to end up as a meth addict 20 years down the road. He offers to Megan to be a truck driver. She obviously said no.
He agrees with Slacker that truck drivers are very important for this country to run.

What advice can you give this couple?

Signed,
Intern Nikki

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Pickup Lines
YI!

Some people come up with the strangest pick-up lines! Whether they are good or bad were still willing to use them. (Click here for a list of some of our favorites)
 
Mark Zuckerberg's wife recently revealed the pickup line her used on her…and it’s absolutely awful! His wife, Priscilla Chan, tells NBC that he used a pickup line on her. "On our first date, he told me that he'd rather go on a date with me than finish his take-home midterm."
 
Slacker thinks Steve looks like a predator when he hits on girls and orders girly drinks for himself. He asks what the woman is supposed to say after Steve compliments them, something like “thanks for the compliment; I picked the dress out specifically for my eyes.” Slacker says women are squirrels and men are dogs, squirrels take patience to approach and with dogs you can pet them whenever. He says his favorite pick-up line is “The voices in my head told me to talk to you”
 
Steve claims he doesn’t have pick-up lines, he has technique. He says he spots a girl, goes and stands close to her area, orders a drink, and then comments her on her dress or something of the sort, then leaves. Steve says it’s a great way to get her interest. He claims that she will then come and approach you. Steve thinks this is a way of separating himself from the rest of the guys.
 
Lil D said that his pick-up line for his wife was “A girl like you would go for a guy like me.”
 
What’s the best or worst pick-up line you have used or heard?
 
I have used some of the cheesiest pick-up lines. My old go to line was “how much does a polar bear weigh?” Hopefully they would respond with “I don’t know” if they did I then said “enough to break the ice!” Unfortunately it never worked… But it was always entertaining to get reactions!
 
Signed,
Intern Tyler

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Fun in Dysfuntion
YI!
 
How do you prove your family might be a little on the dysfunctional side? Attack your aunt a fight over prescription painkillers or attack your grandpa on the way to prom!

A Tennessee woman tried to infect her aunt with HIV during a fight over prescription painkillers. The woman demanded the drugs from her aunt and began beating her when she refused. She then stuffed a rag inside her mouth and wiped it on her aunt’s face, telling her she was HIV positive. Cops said the victim, who is in a wheelchair, had cuts on her face and inside her mouth. Cops didn’t say if the woman is in fact, HIV positive.

Another story of a grandfather was assaulted by his granddaughter while taking her to the prom! Yes taking her to prom, not dropping her off!

Slacker says this first story is borderline white trash newsworthy! He thinks corsages are stupid as well; there is absolutely not point to them! Slacker asks if women don’t wear flowers on our wrists now then why they would want them now!
 
Steve agrees with Slacker with the whole corsages thing.
 
How is does your family put the fun in dysfunctional?
 
Signed,
Intern Tyler

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OPP: Neighbor Abuses Kids
YI!
 
Today’s OPP is from Audrey:
 
Yi! I am writing because I am concerned about my neighbor's children. They are 6 and 7. On Saturday, he had them clean both of his cars, rake the lawn, pull weeds and clean some of their windows. I think this is borderline abuse. My husband disagrees and says the kids are learning responsibility and discipline. The children looked exhausted. Should I say something? Who's right - me or my husband?
Audrey
 
Slacker says a 6 year old out washing a car is way too much! He thinks that the child could get dehydrated! Slacker said that if we left a child in the car cops would have been called instantly and this isn’t much different in the heat.
 
Steve thinks it’s a good thing for the kids. He says he wouldn’t trust a 6 year old with his car. Steve asks if the standard of when he was younger and doing chores is really that much different now.
 
Who do you think is right?
 
I think Audrey’s husband is right. Kids now a days don’t learn this type of responsibility anymore. I did chores growing up and I learned that I don’t get to play until my things are done.
 
Signed,
Intern Tyler

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Blonde Moment
YI!

Science has, and continues, to solve many of the world’s problems…diseases, hunger crises…the list goes on. Scientists have now used their skills to prove blondes are just as smart as everyone else.

Blondes are not so dumb after all: Hair color is completely unrelated to personality and intelligence. Scientists have debunked the dumb blonde stereotype. New research shows that hair color is ‘only skin deep’ because it depends on just a single letter of the genetic code. Switching a single ‘letter’ of DNA would turn brunettes to blondes, and would have no effect on the brain. The study (from Stanford University in California) proves hair color is completely unrelated to any other trait and dispels the notion that blonde hair signifies lower intelligence.
 ** Researchers also found that the gene that affects blonde hair isn’t associated with eye color - suggesting that blonde hair and blue eyes are not genetically linked.
 
Slacker says he has pictures of himself when he was four and he was platinum blonde! He says that since he was born blonde he doesn’t understand anything on the story. Slacker says that we all know it’s an actual stereotype and why would scientists waste their time with such a silly study! He said that he asked Lil D what SMH meant on social media, Lil D said “Smah.” Slacker did some research and found out
 
Steve says that Einstein may have been blonde at one point and that he didn’t get smart until he got white hair. He says that one time he waited for paper to autocorrect itself
 
What is your “blonde moment?”
 
Signed,
Intern Tyler

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