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Slacker & Steve's Blog

Posts from May 2014


Hit in the Head (aka Clocked in the Cabesa)
YI!

There are a lot of stories in the news about people being hit in the head lately!
 
A couple is suing the National Aquarium in Baltimore for over $16,000 after they claim a dolphin bonked their young son on the head with a pool toy. The couple and their son attended a dolphin show at the aquarium in April of last year. After the show, a trainer tossed a pool toy into the pool and the dolphin responded by launching at spectators. The little boy was hit in the head by the pool toy injuring him. The parents are now suing the aquarium for $16,454 for negligence and pain and suffering. (Click here for the full story)
 
A coach at a school in Aurora, Illinois was hit in the head with a shot put during a track meet.
The man was hit in the head with the 12-pound and blacked out. He was taken to the hospital.
Turns out he suffered a fractured skull but is going to be okay. He is expected to be released from the hospital this week.
 
Slacker thinks that Steve was dropped on his head when he was younger. He is confused on how a pool toy can hurt someone, says it’s just full of air! Slacker claims he was awesome at shot put, better than anyone could have imagined.
 
Steve says it must have been a big pool toy in order for the people to sue for that much. He calls out Slacker saying he has never done anything shot put or discus related! Steve said he had a baseball to the eye. He said that he swelled up so badly and so fast that the gravel was stuck in his wound!
Lil D was in a bear suit sliding on a banister and fell down two flights of stairs! He says he woke up two days later in a hospital. Lil D says the reason he was in a bear suit because at a summer camp he was the only one tall enough to play Chewbacca for a Star Wars play. He says they didn’t have enough money for a real outfit so they bought him a bear!
 
What crazy hit in the head story do you have?

Signed,
Intern Tyler

(Photo Courtesy: Flickr.com)

 
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OPP: He Wants Nights Apart
YI!

Today’s OPP:

Melany’s boyfriend used to go out once a month for a boys night. Recently he has been going out more and more. She is worried that having too much time apart from each other will eventually start having an effect on their relationship. Melany wants to know if this is normal and healthy for a relationship.
 
Slacker says that if you give your boyfriend space it actually is good for the relationship. He thinks Melany should go out with her friends more often. Slacker says that her boyfriend is possibly going out to much and partying hard for being in a relationship.
 
Steve is wondering if Melany is smothering him to much by being to needy and clingy. He understands what the concern is and agrees.
 
What advice do you have for Melany?
 
I think Melany should just leave her boyfriend alone. Everyone needs their own time to themselves and their friends.
 
Signed
Intern Tyler

(Photo Courtesy: Flickr.com)
 
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Anyone Listening Who
YI!
 
The return of summer means the return of 'Anyone Listening Who'! We have a little competition to see who knows you better.
 
Slacker thinks Lil D has an advantage because he talks to all of you individually! He thinks that more of you have had SWAT in your house. Slacker is willing to accept calls from prison to prove that he will win!
 
Steve agrees with Slacker, Lil D has a great advantage! He thinks that a lot of you have used a stiletto as a weapon. Steve said he has had this done to him outside of a club!
 
Lil D thinks that more of you have bought a new can and has wrecked it! This is because a lot of people buy their car and then instantly wrecks it out of the parking lot of the dealership!
 
Which team are you on?

Signed,
Intern Tyler

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Retail Therapy
YI!

Going shopping after heartbreak is bad for your bank balance. Researchers found that women who head to the malls to cheer themselves up after ending a relationship spend more money than on any other shopping trip. The study looked at more than 2,000 women, and found that spending money on payday came in second to heartbreak, and spending while window shopping or browsing online came in third. The research also found that nine in ten women admit the mood they are in during their shopping trip can affect how much they end up spending/buying. Also more than half avoid the shops altogether if they are in a certain mood because they know they will end up over-spending.
 
Slacker says Steve and him would go on “Man Sprees” together and go shopping. He says it’s good to go with each other because they wouldn’t ever go somewhere wearing the same cloths. Slacker says whenever he goes to Steve’s house he always sees new things that happen to be brass just hanging out. He says after a break up, he flew to Mexico and then almost bought a time share! Slacker says if he bought the time share he would have regretted it.
 
Steve buys man things from eBay, like tools, tires and Tonka trucks. He says he doesn’t know where to put the brass items or how to hang them up.
Lil D says that he blew his savings account and bought the “Bad Boy Wardrobe” because a girl said he was too much of a nice guy. He said when he got home he tried on the cloths and nothing fit right and he looked ridiculous!

What is the craziest thing you’ve bought to make yourself feel better?
 
Signed,
Intern Tyler

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Smashed on Purpose
YI!
 
A woman was arrested after she pulled her boyfriend's TV. off the wall and threw it out of his third-story apartment window.  The TV then smashed on the ground nearly hitting a family in a mini-van. The woman was later arrested. She said what she did was justifiable because he cheated on her.
 
Slacker talks about how the guys went to an event and parked in a structure. He says there were way more people than parking spots in the building and one was parked directly behind Steve’s truck. Slacker says in order to get out of the spot Steve needed to make a 940 point turn. He said that instead of doing the point turns Steve smashed into the guys car!
 
Steve claims he battered the guy’s car, he debated on the turning Slacker suggested but he liked his own idea better.
 
What have you smashed on purpose?
 
I have smashed my controller and PlayStation game console due to frustration with video games. Whether I couldn’t beat bosses or get a puzzle completed I just lost it! Needless to say I no longer play those video games.
 
Signed,
Intern Tyler
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OPP: Moving for Online Girl
YI!
 
Today’s OPP is from Tracy:
 
Yi! My son is graduating college and just told me and his father that he is going to be moving across the country to be with his online girlfriend.  I hadn't ever heard of this woman before, but he says he's been talking to her for over two years and he thinks they're soul mates.  I think he's being very naive, but I'm also worried that if I push the subject too much he'll shut me out.  I know I'm the parent and I should put my foot down, but he's graduating college so I also think he needs to make mistakes.  I don't know what to do, what would you do? 
Tracy
 
Slacker says you can’t do anything about it. He thinks they met in an online game. Slacker says it might be good in the virtual world but what happens when you meet in real life and you aren’t the awesome sword wielder you are in game? He says that internet dating must be a generational thing because it’s all new to him. Slacker says the boy must have scoured the internet for his soul mate and found her across the country. He thinks the parents should tell him he is on his own and let him make the decisions.
 
Steve thinks this might be the first girl who’s given him attention and now the boy is all in. He wonders if they have Skyped at all just so he knows that it’s what she looks like.
 
What advice do you have for Tracy?
 
I think online dating in general is weird, but it is the new thing and lots of people have had success with it. Do it think moving across the country is silly? Absolutely but you can’t stop someone from doing something. I think Tracy needs to let her son make his own decision, because who knows maybe it is his soul mate!
 
Signed,
Intern Tyler

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Doggie Damage
YI!

A pair of French bulldogs, named Stella and Stuart, recently ate their owner's prescription pills before biting down on a St John medic alert panic button. Australian medics rushed to the scene and broke down a door when no one answered. Stella had the pills in her mouth while Stuart had activated the panic button 12 times. The pills were blood thinners. The dogs were not affected.
 
Londoner Royston Grimstead gave his dog away after she ate part of his $120,000 Aston Martin. He tells the Daily Mirror, “I came home and saw Luce covered in white stuff. I thought she had got a bird and it was feathers – but it was the fiberglass from the car. She had chewed out a huge chunk. I just laughed. I mean, what else could I do? I’m not a crier and she knew she had done something wrong because she had this guilty look on her face. She must have overheard me talking about rehoming her because she’s normally friendly and never really chewed on anything before. She avoided me after she did it and she was gone the next day. I didn’t tell the new owners what she had done – I expect when they hear, I’ll find Luce back on my doorstep.”
 
Slacker says that every time he talks about a story it happens to him, he’s afraid of his future doggie damage! He talks about how his dog Mojo was acting strange one night panting heavily and when his wife went to let the dog out they found out the dog left “mud” everywhere! Slacker said it compared to a monster truck rally. He thinks his dog got ahold of some grass seeds he put in the lawn.
 
Steve says he won’t get a dog because he needs to protect his future Aston Martin.
 
What’s your doggie damage story?
 
My dog has eaten up the carpet, of my whole apartment! A hole here and pulled carpet over there. Apparently he doesn’t like to be left alone and this wasn’t just a one-time thing…he did it two more times!
 
Signed,
Intern Tyler


 
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Make Us Feel Insignificant
Yi!
Wanna feel like an underachiever? 11-year-old golf phenom Lucy Li is the youngest person to ever qualify for the U.S. Women's Open. We want you to make us feel insignificant!

Slacker says he hasn’t even remotely done something of this magnitude in achievements. He refers to her age and says to let it soak in that she is in one of the most prestigious golf tourneys ever. When he was 11 he was using a magnifying glass to burn ants. He won best guitarist in Colorado one year. That a huge achievement! They have also done a ton of stuff for Children's Hospital and he won an award for being a huge inflluence in the Radio-Thon fundraiser.

Steve says him and Slacker are losers. When he was 11 he was throwing rocks at cars. He mentions this girl they know that went to NASA for an internship and apparently it was really amazing and she learned a lot. Steve just wallows in self-pity.

Lil’ D went to the state science fair due to a huge project of citrus fruits. And one thrid place! He is happy about it.

What is your greatest achievement in life?

My greatest achievement is getting this internship. My dreams came true when I landed this and I never want to take it for granted. Seriously, it is amazing to have it and I learn a lot from these guys.

Signed,
Intern Nikki
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Bad Babysitter
Yi!
A Pennsylvania mother took her 1 year old daughter to the hospital because she was drunk, and blames it on the babysitter. The babysitter put vodka in a bottle and gave it to the baby, making her blood alcohol content .28 which is four times the amount of an adult! The situation is now under investigation.

Slacker says when he gets drunk he spills stuff. What could go wrong when you put vodka in a sippy-cup? He obviously is kidding. He was never baby sat. He babysat his nephew in his grandpa’s house. He felt like he dead was all around him. They also had a cat. This is a recipe for disaster. He began to forget that he was supposed to be babysitting after locking the cat in a room so he didn’t have to look at it. He was paranoid that his dead grandpa was watching him in that house.

Steve is wondering how the kid kept drinking vodka in cup that must have tasted disgusting. He found out that these twins that watched him and his sibling would get high while watching them.

What bad babysitter experience do you have?

My great grandmother used to baby sit kids all the time. I went to visit her one day and I went in the bathroom and walked in on a 3 year old duct taped to the toilet. She apparently was trying to teach the kid how to be potty in the toilet. Evil woman! It was so sad.

Signed,
Intern Nikki

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OPP: Dating My Dad
Yi! Today’s OPP comes from Brandy:

Yi, I'm 24 years old and dating a 49 year old man. My family really wants to meet him but I haven’t told them how old he is yet. They invited us over for dinner this weekend so they can finally meet him and I’m terrified. My dad is only 3 years older than my boyfriend and I’m not sure how he’s going to take it. They have a lot in common so I really hope it won’t upset my dad too much. Has anyone ever had to tell their parents they were dating someone so much older than them? How did you do it? Should I tell them before we go to the house for dinner?
Brandy
 
Slacker says if his daughter did this he would freak out. He thinks she should definitely tell them before the dinner. He thinks this guy is an idiot. That situation will be so awkward. If his daughter brought home a 49 year old man he would think the guy she’s dating is a perve. He asks if the guy has grey hair and if he does, then you can’t just roll a man with grey hair as your boyfriend. He was 10 years older than his first wife. He asks what these two people have in common. How can they connect? This is not a connection. It is a fling. Do NOT bring him home.

Steve doesn’t think it’s that bad and says Slacker should let her be happy with someone who makes her happy. People can’t help who they fall in love with, says Steve. He tells Slacker that they should congratulate this guy for landing a 24 year old.

What advice can you give Brandy?

I think she should tell her parents the age of her boyfriend the day before they go over there. That way it rips the Band-Aid off quickly and gives them a little bit of time to get over it. I think it’s weird.

Signed,
Intern Nikki

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OPP: Out-Of-Control Sister Update
Yi!
A couple weeks ago we did Jennifer’s OPP. Her sister is recently divorced and was going out, getting drunk, and picking up guys with her new found freedom. The problem is Jenifer’s sister was leaving the kids with Jennifer while she proceeded to go out and party. Jennifer confronted her and you’re not going to believe what happened. Jennifer’s sister has not been home in days and has left her kids with Jennifer!

Slacker and Steve both think it is outrageous that this woman has abandoned her kids and left them with Jenifer. Slacker thinks she could file a missing person’s report, but then that would put the mother in danger of losing her children. He questions Jennifer and he thinks that she is doing a bunch of drugs and out binge drinking. He thinks someone should call the police. He thinks she is partying from years of oppression from her divorce, but she is taking it way too far.

Steve says the ex-husband cannot find out because she has custody and she would go to jail. He feels really bad for Jennifer and the kids. He knows the mom is acting responsibly

What would you do in Jennifer’s case? What advice can you give Jennifer?

I think Jennifer’s sister is very selfish and needs to be seriously slapped. Who leaves their kids with their aunt right after a divorce between parents? She needs a rude awakening. Where did she go? What is she doing? Have you reported her missing? I mean come on I would get the police involved.

Signed,
Intern Nikki

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Did on a Dare
YI!
 
We all know friends can be the greatest of listeners and advice givers...and some of the worst instigators! Check out this story.
 
A man caused a security breach at the Des Moines International Airport when he rode the baggage carousel on a dare. He first stuck his head through the doorway, then hopped on, crouched down low, and rode it around into the secure back area and then out the other side.
By the time cops got there the 27-year-old man was already off the carousel and was putting his bags in the car. He told cops he had a few beers and didn't think it was going to be that big of a deal. No charges have been filed yet, but cops have video of the incident.
 
Slacker starts out by saying that Steve made out a dog for eleven dollars. He says he has actually does manly things, unlike Steve. Slacker asks who really won, the dog or Steve. He said that the guy that rode the carousel is an idiot. Slacker thinks that men are the only ones dumb enough to actually do dare. He said that he was dared to put his contacts in after he touched a jalapeno, for one hundred dollars. Slacker thought that the jalapenos didn’t have any oils on it so he agreed to do it. He then put his contacts in and thought he was in the clear, and then his eyes started to slowly burn. Slacker received his one hundred dollars, but threw away his contacts in the end, which cost him 150 dollars for a new pair.
 
Steve says it was eleven dollars he won for making out with the dog. He says their young female intern did a dare to talk to a cute guy at the mall, so it’s not only guys. Steve told Slacker he should have put milk in his eye to get rid of the burn.
 
What dumb things have your friends dared you to do?
 
When I was younger I was dared to throw firecrackers and smoke bombs onto the highway… at semis. Like a silly kid I totally agreed! Luckily no one was hurt but we did cause a lot of traffic. I would have to agree with Slacker, men are the only ones dumb enough to take on dares.
 
Signed,
Intern Tyler


 
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OPP: Not a User
YI!
 
Today's OPP: Victoria has a friend that likes her. Her friend is constantly buying her gifts, from Starbucks to jewelry from Tiffany's. Victoria has made it clear they are just friends but he continues with the gifts anyways. Her friends say she needs to stop accepting but she doesn't see anything wrong with it.
 
Slacker thinks she leads him on by giving him a peck on the cheek each time he gives her a gift. He thinks he continues to do it because she continues to lead him on. He doesn’t think a woman should ever feel obligated to give a man something no matter how many gifts he gives her. However he thinks she encourages him to keep pursuing her by accepting the gifts he offers her. He thinks this guy has done this before which is why he’s so confident it will work because it’s worked in the past.
 
Steve thinks that buying gifts as expensive as Tiffany’s is a little bit creepy. He thinks it would be rude if she didn’t accept the gift. He thinks the guy might expect something in return if he keeps giving her gifts. He thinks she should get the Tiffany bracelet from him and then cut off the friendship.
 
 What do you think she should do?
 
I think she should confront him about why he buys her gifts when he knows she doesn’t want to date him. After that she needs to get the Tiffany bracelet end the friendship.
 

Signed,
 
Intern Courtney
 
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Biggest Fight, Littlest Thing
YI!

A Tennessee man is in trouble after he threatened his wife...because she burnt his toast! Sometimes it's the little things that turn into huge problems.
 
A Tennessee man was charged with domestic assault after threatening to hit his wife over burnt toast. The man was drunk and picked up his wife’s crutch, then threatened to hit her with it. He shoved one of the responding officers and hit his head against the glass divider in the cop car while on his way to jail. He also threatened to kill the cop and his family. No one was injured during the incident.
 
Slacker has a hard time concentrating because of the fight he just had with Steve about a fight that he had with his wife. He claims he scratches off the dark stuff on the toast when it’s burnt. Slacker talks about how much he hates the heel of the bread, it’s a teaser when you see you have some slices left and you get everything ready for a grilled cheese and you’re tricked by the heel of the bread! He says he doesn’t have different settings on his toaster, who has settings? Slacker has a thing on the side of his toaster that has three settings for sausage and egg but no bagle setting! He talks about how he fights with his wife about the type of pens he prefers. Slacker loves his pens and says that one day he was out of them at home and his wife ran to the store and bought fine tip pens. He wants to know who uses fine pens!? Slacker was angry because he thinks fine tip pens are like writing with an exacto knife, constantly shreds the paper!
 
Steve says burnt toast is better than under toasted stuff. Steve says it possibly is Texas Toast and it’s harder to get the right crisp. He wonders why not just put it on beagle setting because it toasts just one side. Steve says all microwaves come with settings why not just set it to that. He questions if you’re in a marriage, why would you know the pen preference of your significant other? Steve wants to know if they tested five couple would anyone really know?
 
Lil D says he has frozen beagle setting on his toaster and that he knows his wife’s pen preference because she has them laying all over the house. He says that his wife wanted popcorn for dinner one night and that caused a big fight because it’s not a proper meal! Lil D says it’s because it can’t fill you up at all!
 
What the littlest thing that has turned into the biggest fight for you?
 
Signed,
Intern Tyler

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Circumcision Battle
Yi!
A couple in Floridatook a fight they were having to court. They  aren't married but have a three year old son together. The dad wants to get his son circumcised but the mom thinks it's not necessary and doesn't want to.

Slacker says it depends on the family and the beliefs of what happens. He had his son circumcised and was terrified when they asked if he wanted to be in the room with him during it.

Steve wonders if religious beliefs are considered in the situation or not. He thinks it's almost to late to do it since the boy is almost four. It would have to turn into a surgical procedure now since he's so much older than a baby.

Who should get to decide what happens?

Signed,
Intern Courtney

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Dirty Divorce
Yi!
Statistics have proven that during a divorce the two spouses wil try to turn mutual friends against the other, cheat them out of financial sttelment, and get more property. Divorce is also proven to harm the children's well being and the parents usually struggle with choosing who the child will live with. What have you done during divorce?

Slacker says his divorce with his ex-wife went smoother than most divorces go. He thinks Steve would have a dirty divorce if he ever had one. He thinks it was dirty of one woman to fight for custody of a dog because she knew how attached the husband was to the dog. He thinks the dirty divorce people are the ones who didn't want to get the divorce not the ones who initate it.

Steve somewhat agrees with Slacker where as if he were to get a divorce he'd probably hook up with the sister. He thinks it's wrong foe dirty divorces and people should just be mature about them rather than acting out.

What happened during your dirty divorce?

Signed,
Intern Courtney

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OPP: Postpartum
Yi!
Marcy has a sister who recently had a baby and Marcy thinks since the baby's birth she's fallen into postpartum depression. She says since the baby was born all her behavior seems like she's suffering from postpartum depression even though she hasn't been diagnosed with it.

Slacker wonders if Marcy just misses her sister and their relationship or is she cocerned for the child's life. He thinks this is a very serious subject that they can't tiptoe around.

Steve wonders if Marcy should be the one to confront her or if someone else should go about it such as her husband. He thinks someone should confront her in safe way but Marcy may not be the best one to approach her about it.

How should she approach her sister about it to make sure she gets the right help?

Signed,
Intern Courtney

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GMD: Fancy Clothes
YI!
Alyssa is a real estate agent who spends lots of money on brand name clothes to impress her clients. She thinks it makes her client know she's serious about her job and sell more houses. Her husband Joseph thinks she's crazy for blowing their money on clothes when she's not even that great at her job.

Slacker wonders if there's a way for her to save money but still have nice clothes. He wants to know if Joseph is trying to give constructive criticism or if he's just being straight up rude to her. He doesn't think Joseph understands that it's their money not just his money.

Steve thinks her husband is going about it in a rude way by insulting her about her job. He thinks Joseph could have gone about it in a nicer way. If he encouraged her more for something else rather than telling her how bad she is at working and unrealistic her job it.

Does she need to have expensive clothes in order to be good at her job?

Signed,
Intern Courtney

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Weird Thing in Your Purse
YI!

If a woman's purse is neat and tidy she either just switched bags or did a massive clean out, because when it comes to a girl's daily purse, it's always a mess! The messes vary, however, based on different personalities.

Here's what the mess inside your purse says about you:

            • The Overstuffed Purse Mess: This is the purse that has so much stuff in it that it's actually getting difficult to zip up. If your purse is constantly over-flowing, you are a make-it-work kind of girl. You are loyal to your favorite things and favorite people. Just because the zipper on your bag isn't working anymore or the seams are starting to burst doesn't mean it doesn't look slamming with your favorite outfit. Why get rid of it?!

            • The Dumpster Purse Mess: This purse is dirty. To find a pen you have to dig through melted pieces of gum, old receipts, dust, wrappers, and who knows what else. If this is what your bag is like, you are a busy girl with an active social life who has better things to do than spend time cleaning out her bag. You are also environmentally conscious because you would rather dump your trash into your purse than be a litter bug!  

            • The Always Prepared Purse Mess: This is the purse that is full to bursting with anything and everything you could possibly need for any situation or emergency. Sewing kit? Check! Hair ties? Check! Nail file? Check! Flashlight? Of course! Kitchen sink? Possibly. If you aren't a mom, you are the mom of your friends. You secretly love that everyone looks to you for a tissue, pen or chapstick – even though you act like you find it totally annoying! You are always on time, dressed appropriately and always feel ready to take on any challenge!   

            • The Make-up Explosion Purse Mess: Blush compacts have disintegrated in the bottom of your purse and lip stick and liner is caked into the bottom crevices. No matter what goes in your bag it comes out in a layer of pink and glitter. If this is your bag, you are a style and make-up guru, but you don't want to be the girl who is constantly reapplying and touching up her face. So, you hastily reapply during bathroom breaks and never manage to put lids and caps back on properly .. .it can get very messy! You are definitely the girl that your friends always come to for fashion and makeover advice, and you frequently do other people's make-up.    

            • The Mom Mess: Your bag doubles as a diaper bag, toy chest and snack pack. There are always squashed cheerios, teething rings, matchbox cars and baby wipes in your once beloved designer bag. If this is your bag, you're a mom, but you still value style. Who says your favorite Michael Kors can't handle a bag of goldfish that opened up and then got pulverized into the once pristine liner?! (Cosmo)

Slacker would never grab anything from his wife’s purse, not even if he is given permission! He says will never enter the “dark zone.” Slacker said he was in a meeting one day and a woman spilt her purse everywhere and he saw something lipstick shaped, but wasn’t a lip stick container. Slacker said it must have been her “Bob.” Slacker likes being a man because he doesn’t have to carry anything not even spare underwear. He also claims that Lil D’s wife has an “Always Prepared” mess in her bag because one day he needed scissors and she pulled some out, full sized!

Steve thinks every woman has a pair of underwear in either their purse or their car. He swears that Slackers wife has them somewhere even though slacker doesn't believe it.

What is the craziest thing in your purse right now?

I, like Slacker, refuse to go into a woman's purse. They could be booby trapped! One time I reached in without permission and I got poked by something, I vowed never again!

Signed,
Intern Tyler
 
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Conspiracy Theories
YI!

The “Area 51: Myth or Reality” exhibit is reopening its doors in Las Vegas this month – and adding some new artifacts to the exhibit that weren’t there before. There’s supposedly an "authentic alien artifact" – which are small pieces of material that came from a reported 1986 UFO crash in Russia. You’ll also get to see photographs of UFOs from around the world, going back to the 1940s up through the '70s.
 
Slacker still wonders about the moon landing. He asks what evidence we have that we have been there. Slacker thinks money was used for something else, like the men in black or something like that. During the show he sneezed and claimed that the government is coming after him because he was talking about Area 51. Slacker said he was willing to pay twenty dollars to prove to Steve that aliens do exist. He talks about the Denver International Airport and how the paintings inside the airport explain another structure under the airport.
 
Steve says we have been to the moon 6 times! He asks if we didn’t land then why else would we go back six times. Steve questions Slacker and asks what else would we use the money for if not for the moon landing? He thinks that slackers “people” (conspiracy theorists) are all crazy and wants nothing to do with them. Steve also wonders how much the real estate would cost under the airport.
 
What conspiracy theory do you have?
 
The DIA one is big for me. There is nothing like it! Those crazy pictures all explain the possible end of the world and everyone uniting under a German rule. On top of that, the NEW WORLD ORDER is all over the place! Plus there is a evil horse that resides there!

Signed,
Intern Tyler


 

 
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OPP: Irresponsible Dad-to-Be
YI!
 
Candy came on the air with us to share her OPP today.  She and her husband have been married for a few years. They are currently expecting their first child in a couple of months. Lately, his new affinity is to go to the bar or strip club (or both) on his days off and he spends considerably more money than they can afford. Even after receiving good news about anything, he will go drinking alone and not contribute more to their family. There is unfinished work around the house and he is supposed to be finishing it but it seems not to matter anymore. Candy is wondering if he is cheating? Is he an alcoholic? Is her marriage doomed?

Slacker says the first time he read the OPP; he was completely on Candy’s side. He said that Lil D talked to him and pointed out that this might be the husbands last hurrah before things get real. Slacker thinks that women don’t want to admit it but men change too! He says it’s not physical but the mental “I’m going to be in charge of another human being” emotion. Slacker thinks it’s kind of strange that Candy’s husband goes out on the only day they could have together.
 
Steve is not sure what to think about the whole situation. He says he would understand the husband’s mentality if this is his last hurrah. Steve also thinks that her husband might be pushing away their future together. He wonders what Candy would do if her husband came out and told her exactly what he was thinking.
 
What do you think Candy should do?

I think Candy needs to talk to her husband and explain her concerns with the whole situation. Then again if its a touchy subject its easier said than done.
 
Signed,
Intern Tyler

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Hitchhikers
YI!
 
Steve's nephew might have a death wish. He wants to spend his summer hitchhiking across the country! We think he's crazy because you never know who you're going to run into doing that. Just check out these stories!
 
'Who is supposed to be afraid: the driver or the hitchhiker?'
Hitchhiking is a way of life for some people. But the practice of thumbing a ride isn't what it used to be. "There really has been a dramatic decline in hitchhiking," Professor Philip Scher said. "The kind of person who hitchhikes might be slightly different now than it might have been in the 60s or 70s," Scher said. He says there are many factors underlying the decline and transformation of hitchhiking. Films such as "The Hitchhiker" and "The Hitcher" have contributed a lot to people's general fear. "You're never entirely sure who's supposed to be afraid, the driver or the hitchhiker," Scher said. “With the evolution of social media, a new trend seems to be emerging: an advanced and reformed version of hitchhiking.You might call it organized, planned hitchhiking," Scher said. "You can sign up to be standing at a certain place and people coming by, will know, people might be there to pick them up." With dot com sites like Rideshare, Carpool and Ridejoy, the ability to share a car with a total stranger may have left the side of the road in favor of the information superhighway.
 
Two charged for robbing hitchhiker 
Two men faced a judge where they were given $1million dollar bonds after being accused of robbing a man they gave a ride to. The male victim told police that he was trying to hitch a ride from a black Chevy impala with three men inside. One the three men took out a gun and demanded the hitchhiker hand over his money and valuables. The victim ran to a store and the vehicle fled the scene but got into a chase. Police found the car in a ditch and were later able to arrest the suspects.
 
Hitchhiker Accused of Stealing Car, Dragging Man in OKC
Police arrest a woman accused of injuring a man by dragging him on the outside of his own car. Kristeena Wheeler, 31, told police she wanted to get home and the man told her he would take her part of the way. Wheeler told police the man stopped to get air in his tires and when he got out of the car, she then got behind the wheel and took off. Witnesses told police the man was clinging to the window on the outside of the car and dragged before falling off. The man was taken to an area hospital, his condition listed as stable. Wheeler told police before the man stopped at a gas station to put air in his tires, "he tried to grab my face to kiss me and then he tried to grab my special private area." She said that's why she felt she needed to get away from him, according to the report. Wheeler was arrested and booked on charges of assault and battery with a motor vehicle, larceny of a motor vehicle and leaving the scene of an injury accident.
 
Slacker thinks Steve’s nephew is a idiot. He thinks it’s smart that he is at least taking a friend. Slacker wants to know who would wants to pick up two big guys on the side of the road. He says it seems like it’s a nice thing but who and why would do it? Slacker thinks its just as dangerous to give a woman a ride, do you do ask her to show you her purse? He says they could have weapons too! Slacker thinks that maybe Steve’s nephew is using this as a ploy to get him to buy a bus ticket somewhere. Slacker says he would never let a loved one hitchhike.
 
Steve says the problem is that his aunt hitchhiked in the 60s and 70s. He says it used to be normal behavior back in the day. Steve thinks it is not a safe or smart thing to do. He wants to know what the rules to hitchhiking are, can you do it on an on-ramp or do you have to be far away? Steve brings up a time when Slacker’s friend pulls over to give a woman a ride and several dudes get out catching a ride along. Steve had a friend that took a chance when he was following him on the way to Vegas. He says that after they got to Vegas, he got out and questioned his friend. Steve’s friend said he decided to take a chance because Steve was trailing close by and luckily it worked out.
 
What’s your crazy hitchhiking story?

My mother taught me to never pick up a hitchhiker. She said it was dangerous and told me stories of her friends. I am now afraid of anyone on the side of the road!
 
Signed,
Intern Tyler

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Name Bias
Yi!

Living up to your name is a real thing! Or so we think. For example, every Heather we know is a blonde and every Ashley is crazy.

Slacker says every Travis he knows is a frat boy. He mentions that the name bias thing depends on the person. It definitely relates to the gender thing. Anthony was labeled as always being a jerk, yet Tony sounds like a laid back dude. His real name is
Michael and he hates being called mike. He must be referred to as Michael, not Mike. Michael sounds like a good guy, and Mike sounds like a pretentious loser. He thinks the name Zach is goofy and every one he has met named Zach was always cool and laid back.  He has always wanted to date a girl named Becky for some reason.

Steve says him and Slacker judge people by their names. David is a common name, yet Dave sounds like a good guy and a good buddy. David sounds pretentious too. Apparently according to this poll David means clingy and insecure. Tyler is a jock name and as a person who must have gel in their hair. Every Becky Steve knows is not thin.

What name are you biased against?

I am biased towards Emily’s because every single one I know is a sweetheart. Another name I am biased against is Derek. They’re all D-bags.

Signed,
Intern Nikki

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Damage Doing the Deed
Yi!

There is nothing worse than when the mood is killed- especially when it involves Pop Rocks. A California woman was spicing up her relationship with her man when Pop Rocks irritated her mommy parts and she was rushed to the hospital.

Slacker says the TLC show copied Slacker and Steve because they came up with this first. Slacker got hit in the head by a plane door and the paramedics offered him a catheter and he refused to have it. The person who put Pop Rocks on her mommy parts is so dumb.

Steve said he had to get a catheter one time after surgery, and it was awful. He says the woman is weird for using Pop Rocks because it’s like putting Alka-Seltzer down there….  

How did you get hurt doing the deed?

Signed,
Intern Nikki

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OPP: Separate Beds
Yi!

Today’s OPP is from Beth:

Yi guys! I've slept in the same bed as my husband for the whole three years that we've
been married and have never considered any other arrangement. But, lately, David has been falling asleep in the guest room and says that he actually sleeps better when he sleeps by himself. I'm very hurt by this and can't imagine us sleeping separately for the rest of our marriage. He says he loves me a ton, but I'm worried that he doesn't love me as much as he thinks he does if he doesn't want to sleep next to me. Does anyone else have this arrangement with their partner? Do they like it or has it ruined their marriage?
Beth
 
Slacker tells Steve that he doesn’t think Steve likes sleeping next to someone and that’s why he isn’t married. He says that there are stats out there that say sleeping in separate beds is actually good for a marriage. He brings up the point that relations happen in the spouses’ bed and this makes the relations weird. If you’re not in the same room then it is too easy to not have relations. Slacker doesn’t think he is cheating because sleeping in a separate bed would be too obvious and it’s not like he is sneaking the other woman in the room. They’re not 15. Slacker says that if his wife is sick and stuffy then he would sleep in a separate room. But that’s the only reason he would. He thinks this is going to chip away at their marriage.

Steve said he does like to sleep alone. He thinks the snoring and rolling around in bed is maybe the problem. He thinks it may be the wife and her sleeping habits that are pushing him away. What if she doesn’t shave her legs and they’re fury? He questions if the husband is cheating.

What should Beth do?

Signed,
Intern Nikki

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Naughty List
Yi!
We have all done something to land us on the naughty list. Did you steal money from someone? Perhaps you spit in someone's food? A man in an Illinois bar was choking and a man came to help him, but took the man’s cash out of the wallet and walked away. There is even an evil check list that definitely will determine if you’re going to hell:
  1. Looked at X rated stuff online
  2. Kissed someone you shouldn’t have
  3. Done illegal drugs
  4. Spit in someone’s drink
  5. Made a prank phone call
  6. Walk of shame
  7. You hate kids
  8. Been arrested
  9. Choose your life over the lives of 100,000 people
  10. Kill for a million dollars
  11. Clerk gave back more change and you kept it
  12. Blamed passing gas on someone else
  13. Made someone cry
  14. Stole something
  15. Eye for an Eye
Slacker says he doesn’t believe in heaven or hell. So that means he can do whatever he wants. Slacker says it is messed up that people are going out to dog parks and putting poison meat balls out for the dogs to eat. They’re going to hell for sure. By failing the check list Slacker is definitely going to hell. He has more than half of the checklist down. He admits he is evil.

Steve says the guy that stole did a good deed by leaving the wallet. If he took the wallet it would be way more annoying.  It worth $50 to get all you’re the credit cards back? The ID? He thinks yes. Steve is definitely going to hell because he has done all of the checklist, but 3 of them.

What did you do to land yourself on the naughty list?

I have done all of the check list besides one thing and even more than that.  I am so going to hell. Meet you there!

Signed,
Intern Nikki

(Photo Flickr.com)

 
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Back in My Day
Yi!

Back in our day we played outside-not online, mom let us drive on her lap on the highway, and dad threw us in the pool to teach us how to swim.

Slacker says parenting now is not even in the wheel house of parenting when they were kids. He remembers when he learned how to ride a bike his parents just put him on the bike without training wheels and if he fell or anything they would just try it the next week. He remembers driving down the highway with his dad on his lap and they weren’t wearing a seat belt. Slacker said he was reading the warning label on a toaster and someone must have put the toaster in a sink at some point because they warning label read: Do Not Put in Water. Are people stupid? Back in the day if he had to tell his friend something he would drive to a gas station and use the phone booth to call people. He also mentions that the planes had smoking sections. So gross!

Steve says when he was a kid he was climbing all over the seats and playing while driving. He also mentions that when they were kids they got to ride in the bed of pickup trucks. Steve said that back in the day there were no warning labels on anything. Back in the day on the school bus people could hang out in the aisle of the bus and walk around.

What did you do back in your day that you couldn’t get away with today?

My mom would let us jump from the roof of our house onto our trampoline. It was awesome!

Signed,
Intern Nikki

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Foot in Mouth
Yi!

Ray Cote was a school board president for a New York school district. He didn’t to realize his mic was on and said: "This one here, chubby wubby, she gets fatter and fatter every meeting.'' The meeting was streamed live on the school district's website. He resigned the next day.

Slacker says he wanted to put his foot I his mouth. He went out with some friends. They were all reminiscing about old times and talked trash about everyone. One person was gossiping about another and a person at the bar knew who they were talking about. So the bartender ended up being best friends with that person and told them they were all talking crap. Another example from Slacker was when he was doing appearances at bars. This is when people’s tongues were always pierced. And they couldn’t talk. A person came up to him with a lisp and he accused her of her tongue piercing.  It was awful.

Steve laughs at this man because he is an idiot. And makes fun of Slacker very badly.

Have you ever wanted to stick you foot in your mouth?

Signed,
Intern Nikki

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OPP: Boss Kissed Me
Yi! Today's OPP is from Courtney:

Yi! I recently started a new job and am attracted to my manager. We've been flirting for three or four weeks. He kissed me in the elevator last week. It wasn't a real passionate kiss, but it was still a kiss. Office gossip says he's separated from his wife. My best friend says my boss may use me. My cousin says I should GO FOR IT. Do office romances ever work? Should I pursue this?
Courtney

Slacker says never get romantically involved at work. He wants Courtney to quit. He doesn’t want her to go for the boss. He had an office romance before. He was the boss man. He never tries to act impulsively and that incident was very impulsive for him. It was very bad. It became that thing where the girl asked for weekends off and all this other crap. He says she doesn’t know if he is actually separated from his wife which is the messed up part.

Steve says unless he’s a subordinate, she should go for it if there’s HR or something. He could see where this is gonna head. Steve also has had an office romance and when it went south she still tried to get everyone to hate him. She even told everyone his tactics in bed. It was awful.

Should she go for it? Do office romances ever work?

I am not sure if office romances ever workout. I think someone always gets hurt and one always leaves. It is a very sticky situation especially because he still has a wife… I say don’t do it.

Signed,
Intern Nikki

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Catfight
Yi!

There is only one thing sensible to do when another woman talks crap about you on Facebook. You go to her house and punch her in the head. Yes, we are talking cat fights.

A Florida woman beat up another woman who made negative comments about her on the internet. The angry gal showed up the victim’s home and punched her in the head. She knew she was going to end up in jail but told the cops she should have gone after the woman 9 months ago when she began talking smack.
 
Slacker mentions the girls in a video from YouTube who got into a fight and a shovel got involved. You can see in the video how one girl just hits the other one so hard with the shovel. Both girls got disorderly conduct. The best cat fight he ever saw was back in the day when one girl just grabbed the others hair. When they grab the hair it is on. He doesn’t know why he finds it so interesting that girls use each other’s hair to latch onto a person.

Steve agrees with Slacker about the hair. He thinks that women that fight like that are crazy.
What crazy cat fight did you get into?

In junior high school I was getting bullied by these group f girls. One day I was tired of it and just wailed on this girl. I was never bullied again.

Signed,
Intern Nikki

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Lucky
YI!

A 1-year-old in Minneapolis fell 11-stories from an apartment building and survived. The boy fell out of a window and was rushed to a local hospital. The boy suffered severe injuries and is currently in critical but stable condition. Police are investigating the incident.
 
Slacker doesn’t like the fact that Steve can claim Minneapolis. He says that when he was younger he lived near a big city but doesn’t claim he is from there! He thinks its crazy how babies are so indestructible. Slacker claims they are just all cartilage, so pliable to anything!  
 
Steve claims it wasn’t that far, so he can claim it! He says it’s just a little bit of ways like two and a half hours so its fair game! He thinks the babies was just like octopi, they are bendable and can bounce back from anything.
 
What is your unbelievable story? Unbelievable
 
Signed,
Intern Tyler


 
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OPP: Husband Always Gives In
YI!
 
Today’s OPP is from Dana:
 
Yi! My husband gives in too easily. The other day, we had a disagreement about paying for our daughter's college. He wanted to pay for all of it. I wanted to have her chip in so that she learns responsibility. We argued for about two minutes and then he gave up and just agreed with me. It is starting to drive me up a wall. I mean I don't find it sexy when he gives in. I like that at work he takes a stand, but at home he's a big pussycat. I don't want to tell him give in to me all the time, but he should at least consider speaking up for his opinion. How do I get him to grow more of a spine at home?
Dana
 
Slacker hates it when people complain about things like this. He normally likes to predict what the listeners are going to say but this time he has no idea what way it can go on this one. He thinks Dana should relish the fact that her husband is giving in and not caring about all the little things. Slacker’s first marriage they both were like Danas husband. He says there was no passion or anything because of this. Slacker holds onto things, even though he might say he is okay deep down he is still heated about the argument. He says if you’re not going to win the argument what is the point on arguing at that point.
 
Steve can see why Dana is upset. He thinks that Dana is possibly is going to get her way anyways and her husband is just cutting out the argument. Steve is wondering if she is dominating and asks when she argues with her friends do they back down as well? 
 
How do you think Dana should handle this?
 
Signed,
Intern Tyler

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Game Show Glory
YI!
 
Contestants on game shows have been going viral lately, from Wheel of Fortune to Family Feud.

A contestant’s Achilles heel on Wheel of Fortune was that he couldn’t pronounce ‘Achilles’ on Friday. A student from Indiana University missed a chance to win $1 million dollars, a car, and a trip to London when he embarrassingly botched two puzzles. The contestant, Julian, managed to guess every letter to complete the phrase “Mythological Hero Achilles,” but did not read it correctly to solve the puzzle and win $1 million and a trip to London, Mediaite reported. Unfortunately, Julian mispronounced “Achilles” as “A-chill-us” and host Pat Sajak couldn’t give him credit for the answer. The next contestant pronounced the name correctly and won the round. Later in the show, Julian guessed almost every letter in the puzzle in the “person” category and could have won a car, but he managed to miss out again! The only two letters left in the puzzle were the “m” and “n” in the phrase, “The World’s Fastest Man.” However, Julian incorrectly guessed the letter “c” and once again the next contestant swooped in to solve the puzzle after Julian’s failed attempt.
 
Also the Sass family made it to the Fast Money round and Tim did an outstanding job, leaving Anna just 18 points away from the $20,000 prize in the second part of the round. But she stumbled over the quick questions, often repeating Tim’s answers and guessing strange secondary answers when prompted to think again. Perhaps her most cringe-worthy moment came when she was asked to name “Something a person’s belly does,” and she replied “throws up.” As the Sass family looked on in horror and clutched each other for support, Anna managed to mess up every single answer.
 
Slacker wonders how they send you a lifetime supply of anything, is it a box or what? He asks what if you win mops for a year do you have to tell them how much square feet the house is. Slacker wonders about lifetime supply of razors? He uses them more than the average person for his head and face. Slacker thinks if you have a collard sweatshirt you will have an easier time to get on one of the game shows, it makes for good conversation with the host. Slacker doesn’t understand how you mess up on Family Feud; they ask you the easiest questions possible!
 
Steve has cousins hat lived in Anaheim and they would randomly go and apply to get on game shows. One of his cousins actually got onto Showcase Showdown! He has heard that the Wheel of Fortune wheel is really unstable and pretty dirty. Steve doesn’t understand how you mistake Achilles and say A-chill-us? Steve thinks the family on Family Feud put the daughter up for adoption because of the horrific mess up.
 
What was your 15 minutes of fame on a game show?

Signed,
Intern Tyler

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Twins
YI!
Two twin girls were running in a race together when one of the twins collapsed after feeling a ‘pop’ in her leg. The other twin who was only 13 went back, put her sister on her back, and continued on with the race. When they got to the finish line she put her sister down and they crossed the line together.
 
Slacker says twins creep him out. He wants to know how many twins switch with each other for jobs, dates, and tests. He wants to know if twins are so much alike that they could switch with each other and no one would realize they switched. He thinks they can feel each other’s pain.

Steve wonders if Slacker was a twin whether he’d still be freaked out by twins. He thinks it’s stupid because you get disqualified in a race if you touch or assist another runner in a race. He thinks if he was a twin he would switch with them a lot to get out of things he doesn’t want to do.

What crazy thing have you done as a twin?

Signed,
Intern Courtney

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Stalkers
YI!
Lorde has recently claimed that she’s being stalked by a New Zealand paparazzi. She says she understands that it comes with her fame but thinks he’s taken it too far. She’s fed up with it and posted his picture and info on her social media to prove to him how it feels.
 
Slacker says he does the whole “accidental bump in” in thing to people he fancies. He used to like a girl that worked at the same mall as he did. He would try to guess which food place she’d go to each day so he could bump into her. He was good at stalking her but never even learned her name or talked to her.

Steve says he would go to Slacker if he needed help stalking because he’s so good at it and can work tech stuff easily. He thinks that driving by someone’s house would be considered stalking them unless it’s on your route. He considers it stalking if you go to someone’s work not because you want something but you wanted to see them.

What stalker story do you have?

The other day I was approached by a girl who currently goes to the school I used to go to. She didn’t go there when I did, but she recognized me and knew me by name. I’ve never met her in my life and still don’t know how she knew who I was.

Signed,
Intern Courtney

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OPP: Shallow Break-Up
YI!
Today’s OPP is from Matt:

Yi! I went on a date with a girl and things advanced pretty quickly. Anyway, we went back to her place and things were going well. She asked me if I wanted a drink and of course I accepted. She only had wine, which is great because I'm a huge wino. So, she pours it for me and it was the worst thing that I ever tasted. It must have come from a box because it tasted stale and way too sweet. I couldn't drink it. She jugged hers, but I couldn't get that disgusting taste out of my mouth. We hooked up some more, but I couldn't get passed the taste. So nothing really happened, but I'm having doubts about her. Should I just end it now?
Matt
 
Slacker thinks Steve is the shallower of the two of them. He thinks no level of hotness can overcome a bad glass of wine. He says if he was with the most beautiful woman in the world and if she bought him sushi from a gas station he would end it.

Steve thinks this sounds like something Slacker would do. He thinks it’s the class that comes with the wine. Wine plays into other characteristics of a person. He thinks you could move past it if the person was great.

Should he break up with her because of her bad taste in wine? What shallow breakups have you had?

Signed,
Intern Courtney

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GMD: Gym Rat
YI!
Jessica wanted to start working out with her husband Michael to spend more time with him. However, now he manages everything she eats and guilts her into going to the gym numerous times a day. She’s getting sick of it and overwhelmed. He thinks he’s being supportive and helping her.

Slacker doesn’t think Michael realizes that Jessica is trying to use gym time to bond together. He wonders if he’d be disappointed if Jessica quit going to the gym altogether, if he’d still stay with her. He wishes he had Michael’s discipline to go the gym that often.

Steve wonders if they’re planning on having kids and if he’ll be okay with Jessica having a mommy body.  He thinks Jessica didn’t know the level Michael would want her at while they’re working at the gym. He thinks it would consume a lot of his time so he would rarely see Jessica.

Should they keep their passions separate or try to compromise?

I think that they should keep their passions separate. Obviously she’s not as committed to working out as often and enduring as he is so they shouldn’t go the gym together.

Signed,
Intern Courtney

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Obesity in America
Yi!

Obesity is a huge problem in America. Tom Brokaw thinks we should treat it as a social anomaly like smoking and drinking.

Slacker talks about how the next generation here and in Europe is going to be obese. He says if we make it socially unacceptable, then people are going to tell you straight to your face that you can’t eat that hamburger. He doesn’t like the way our society is going towards. He doesn’t think it isn’t right to tell someone they can’t eat.

Steve says smoking rates have gone down. They prices for them have gone through the roof. They make it tougher and tougher for smokers, like Steve.  He says it is society’s lack of healthy food is the problem of obesity.  Smoking and drinking have laws made about it. Eating food excessively should be a law too. If people want to change then a law will have to be in place.

Do you agree? Or Disagree? Why?

I think we should. People think that just because they can eat a lot of food it’s not a bad as drugs or alcohol. That is not true at all. Food can be an addiction. And that’s half of obese people’s problems. That and lack of exercise. I think it is ridiculous to think that letting your kid eat anything and think it’s okay to not be active.

Signed,
Intern Nikki

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Sibling Rivalry
Yi!

They are with you when you're a kid until you're an adult. You grow up with them. That means they can be your best friends or worst enemies. We're talking about siblings. A Florida woman took a cab to her sister’s house and went and ripped out all of her flowers apart. When the police came she resisted arrest and was taken to jail.

Slacker said his brothers took turns on him. They all fought with each other all the time. They tortured him. They would pin him down and spit on him. It was normal sibling stuff. He thinks it’s weird that Steve and his sister got along fantastically. One of his brothers stabbed his other brother with a spoon. They don’t remember what they were all fighting about. Talk about crazy!

Steve got along great with his sister. He never had problems.

Lil’ D says him and his brother were fighting and he threw a wood chair at his brother. So his brother came at him with a butcher knife and trapped him in the bathroom. He finally got away from his brother and Lil’ D tried smoking his brother out of the bathroom. This all happened when his mother was gone.

What is your crazy sibling rivalry?

Signed,
Intern Nikki
 
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Joint Bank Account
Yi!
Yi! My guy and I are moving in together. It's a 'test run' before we get engaged. He wants to open a joint banking account and place all of our money in it together. At first, I had no problem with it, but now I'm jittery and nervous about it. What do I do? Good or bad idea to open a joint account?
Savannah
 
Slacker asks who calls it a “test run?” Him or her? He doesn’t think they’d be doomed. If married people haven’t comingled your funds, then they’re not ready to be married. Maybe she just isn’t ready. He hates the idea of his money, her money, blah blah blah. If you can’t put your money together then it gets icky and messy. Everything should be in one account for both people. But she isn’t engaged yet. Their relationship seems like an experiment.

Steve says the boyfriend is setting her up. He thinks the boyfriend is going to take the money and run. It just seems weird.

What advice do you have for Savannah?

I don’t think it’s a good idea. Keep it separate until you have a ring on your finger.

Signed,
Intern Nikki
 
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Man Card Monday
Yi!

No matter how manly your man is he has done something to get his man card revoked. Maybe he watched Titanic and cried, or maybe he really liked that pedi you made him get!

Slacker says over the weekend he made a bracelet. His son saw a girl at school with a rubber band bracelet with different colors. He bought a bracelet making kit for his son and daughter to make bracelets. He decided to make one. But that’s not where it ends. He picked out charms and letters to make name bracelets. And he is very proud of this craft. He asks what’s more manly than being a dad?

Steve says Slacker definitely burned his man card. It should be called a dad card, then.  Steve watched a “Let’s Flip this House” marathon while they were staying in Vegas. His definitely got burned. He blamed Slacker for drinking Cosmo’s that night at the bar in Vegas.

Lil’ D said Slacker earned his man card by him being a dad and making the bracelets. That’s a great dad. His wife came down the stairs and turned on the TV. It happened to be on HGTV and Dave watched a marathon of Million Dollar Backyards. His man card has been burned.

Why should your man’s man card be revoked?

Signed,
Intern Nikki
 
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Blackmail
YI!

It’s defined as the crime of threatening to tell secret information about someone unless the person being threatened gives you money or does what you want. That’s right…it’s blackmail! V. Stiviano is now being investigated for allegedly blackmailing the Los Angeles Clippers owner, Donald Sterling.

Slacker says no one is focusing on the fact that someone was actually recording him. Slacker never records anything outside of doing the show. He blackmailed a manager at a record store he worked at; his store manager stole a whole day’s worth deposit from the store. With this knowledge slacker used it as leverage to take days off whenever he felt like it. Slacker did some research and asked a few people in different areas if they have ever blackmailed. To his surprise, one lady said she blackmailed a private school principle to get her kids into the school!

Steve never records anything outside of the show either, or has never thought about it! He has never blackmailed anyone like Slacker has.

Have you ever blackmailed someone or been blackmailed?

Signed,
Intern Tyler

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OPP: Is Porn Cheating?
YI!
 
April and her boyfriend have been together for about a year. Only problem is… He watches porn like 5 or 6 times a week! They still have relations, but he is thinking they
would have more if he wasn’t watching porn so much. Could she consider this cheating?

Slacker doesn’t think its cheating. Thinks they need to have a conversation to discuss her concerns. He says it’s ok for a person like Steve. Slacker thinks Steve of watches a lot of porn. Mainly because he has been on Steve’s computer before and knows what he looks at. Slacker doesn’t think that they should waste any time with this question because it definitely isn’t cheating. The only problem with porn is that it may distort the actual reality of the relationship and expectations.

Steve says it’s cheating, but thinks pornography is ok in general. He does watch porn but not as regularly as April’s boyfriend. He Says he doesn’t have time to do it that much. Steve mainly thinks its emotional cheating, especially if the porn star says I love you!

What do you think? Is it cheating?

I have had this problem in some of my relationships. I don’t think this is cheating by any means. The reason being is that it’s just a fantasy; nothing physical or emotional will ever come out of watching pornography. Unless he decides to move to Silicon Valley, then you might want to be worried.

Signed,
Intern Tyler

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Hero Pets
YI!

Hero’s come in all shapes and sizes, even four legged and furry! Lesley Hailwood has a German Shepherd named Nell. Recently the dog saved Lesley’s life with her own version of the Heimlich Maneuver. Lesley was choking on chocolate when Nell acted quickly. The dog hopped onto the sofa and then jumped onto Lesley’s chest! Saving her masters life!

Slacker thinks Steve should get a cat; it may save Steve’s life. Slacker asks how in the world you choke on chocolate. Thinks she must have eaten a Kit Kat sideways! Then Slacker remembers at the movies the other day how he saw a guy eating a Kit Kat the wrong way! Didn’t break the bar but ate it whole! Doesn’t understand how anyone can do such a thing!

Steve says he would never get a pet, not even a cat. Thinks that is how you’re supposed to eat a Kit Kat! Steve says it’s just easier and not as messy! Thinks he could smear it all over his cloths and everything if he breaks off a piece! He thinks the dog secretly just wanted the chocolate treat and that it wasn’t conscious of her owner choking.

What’s your hero pet story?

Signed,
Intern Tyler

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You Be the Judge
Yi!
A man in New Zealand was drunk when he helped his friends steer a car out of a driveway. They didn’t start the engine and only pushed the car 9 ft away. A cop saw the whole thing and arrested the man for “exercising control over a vehicle while intoxicated”. He lost his license for 3 months and was fined 500$.

Slacker thins the law is crazy considering all he did was steer it. He doesn’t think anyone was in danger therefore the ticket was not necessary. He thinks it should be legal to sleep in your car if you are drunk without getting a ticket for it. He was drunk once and turned his car on because he was cold and a cop knocked on the window but did not give him a ticket. He thinks he was keeping others safe and keeping himself alive.

Steve thinks the man technically broke the law and deserved it. He says if you can reach the keys in your car while drunk you can get a ticket for it. He thinks the cop was kind of petty for waiting for them to get in trouble. He thinks the law can somewhat be a little extensive especially if you just want to sleep in your car.

Do you think he should have been arrested? What laws do you think are unnecessary?

I think the cop completely set them up by waiting for him to get in the car just to bust him. He could have given them a warning not to steer it while drunk.

Signed,
Intern Courtney

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Mommy Confessions
Yi!
Mother’s day is coming up and some moms are confessing to their secrets.  A website called Scarymommy.com is a place where some moms go to make their confessions. Here’s some of the things they’ve confessed. ​
• I hide when my kids throw up so my husband has to deal with it.
​• When I'm really tired I accidentally blurt out the correct answers to my son's homework so we can get done faster.
​• I know how to clean a house but have no idea how to keep a clean house.
​• I pass gas in front of my toddler.
​• Last week, I was caught eating Nutella from the jar. Not wanting to share, I told my kids it was poop. They, in turn, told every single one of their friends that I eat poop from a jar. Whatever. I'd do it again.
​• I rush home from work so I can crawl into bed and snuggle my dog for 15 minutes before my husband gets home with the baby ... and sometimes, when they walk in, I'm disappointed they are home already.
​• I actually considered waxing my 7 year old daughter's mustache before her communion
 
Slacker says he also runs away when his kids start vomiting. If he knows they are not going to choke to death he doesn’t want to be around to hear or see it. He also skips pages in books so he can go to bed. He enjoys those 15 minutes when he can be home alone before the kids get home from football and karate.

Steve says if he ever were to get tired reading a bedtime story he would make up the pages and then skip to the end. He agrees with the kids thinking nutella is like poop. He would put vodka in sippy cup as a better disguise.

What's your mommy secret?

Signed,
Intern Courtney

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OPP: What the Other Woman is Thinking
Yi!
Here’s today’s OPP:
 
Yi,
My husband had an affair a couple years ago. I'm not really sure when it started or how long it lasted. I am curious what the "other woman's" thoughts were during the affair and how she felt when it was over. I am still trying to get closure with this and think this might help. What does the "other woman" have to say??
 
Slacker thinks she wants to get inside the brain of all the woman that cheat with married men. He thinks it’s weird she wants closure more from the woman than her husband. He doesn’t think she’ll get much closure from that but just be angry at her husband.

Steve thinks she wants to know how it feels for the woman to be broken up with by someone who was married to a woman who loved him dearly. He thinks it’s weird that on some occasions even the girl the husband cheats with doesn’t know he’s married.

What do you think?

Signed,
Intern Courtney

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GMD: Divorce for the Kids
Yi!
Dan and Caroline are married with two young kids but recently realized they’re not in love anymore. They think they’re better roommates than spouses. Dan wants to get a divorce now before the kids get older and have more emotional trauma. Caroline wants a divorce as well but she wants to wait until the kids get older so that they’ll have memories of their mom and dad together. She wants them to know they had both a mom and dad that loved them not a separated mom and dad.
 
Slacker thinks it’s a hard argument. It’s either get a divorce when the kids don’t even understand what it means but if they wait it’s like they were messing with the kids the whole time and faking a marriage. He thinks it’d be almost wrong and unfair to everyone to continue a marriage no one is into, just for the sake of the kids.

Steve likes Dan’s idea because it provides the kids with two birthdays, and Christmases, and holidays. He wonders if they’d still have relations if they stuck to Caroline’s idea and wait a little. He thinks it’s a tough situation but it would probably be less painful for everyone to get a divorce now.

Should they wait to get a divorce or do it now?

I’m not a fan of divorce so I think they should go along with Caroline’s idea while trying to mend their marriage. I think it’d be possible for them to stay together and fall in love with each other again. That may be dreaming big, but it could work.

Signed,
Intern Courtney
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Favorite Drunken Food
YI!

Everyone gets a little crazy drunk now and then, but when you do, you want that special kind of food. Here is a list of some of the most popular drunk foods around the world:
            •           America – pepperoni pizza
            •           China – barbecue skewers of veggies, beef, and chicken
            •           Canada – French fries topped with cheese and gravy
            •           Mexico – tacos
            •           Brazil – deep fried batter balls
            •           Ireland – mashed potatoes and butter
            •           Turkey – pita wrap
            •           Iran – Persian pizza … veggies and sausage, but no sauce
            •           Japan – ramen noodles
            •           Germany – sausage with ketchup and fries with mayo
            •           Czech Republic – fried cheese sandwich
            •           England – cheese fries (Coed)

Slacker loves ramen noodles when he is messed up, loves to eat it raw with the powder dusted onto it. He also wants to know who eats the shrimp kind. Slacker thinks it’s just the essence of shrimp! It tastes nothing like shrimp. The fact that America likes pizza as drunken food is lame and too typical. Marie Calenders chicken pot pie used to be his favorite food, until he looked at the nutrition facts.
 
Steve has never had ramen noodles! He also thinks that shrimp flavor would be the only flavor he would try because it seems like a fancier flavor. He thinks IHOP should be America’s food of choice when you’re drunk.
 
Lil D loves to chow down on some greasy, regular colored, and loaded up with cheese, nachos. Says there is nothing better.
 
What is your drunken food?
 
When I get a little stupid my favorite kind of drunken food is anything with sugar, specifically the Pizooki! A half baked cookie with ice cream smothered on top. Simply amazing and nothing tastes better!
 
Signed,
Intern Tyler
 
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Road Rage
YI!
 
Police in Australia say two vehicles were involved in a minor crash on Tuesday afternoon. The two drivers ended up yelling abuse at each other, with one pulling out a sword and making threats during the exchange.  YIKES! Slacker had a run in with an angry Mini Coop driver at a gas pump and our intern was chased into a stranger’s driveway by an angry woman!
 
Slacker thinks he is pretty even keeled and can’t make anyone angry when it comes to driving because he is watching his reruns of The Office! At the gas station slacker cut in line and went the opposite side at the gas pump. The person in front of him pumps his gas slowly and then after the fact decided to wipe his windows down. Slacker is losing patience slowly at this point. Then after the car in front of him left, a Mini Coop decided zip in front of him and steal his place at the gas pump! After Slacker slams his horn on, the Mini the guy got out of his car and asked “did you want this spot?” Slacker jumps out of his truck, and because he feels he can take on anyone in a mini coop, proceeds toward the Mini. He then gets told from the guy that “there is another pump over there.” So slacker backs away, jumps into his truck, spins out and drives to the other pump. When he got out of his truck the mini coop guy bailed out in fear!
 
Steve asks should others feel rushed while you wait for them to pump their gas. He also thinks slacker was waiting around on his phone giving that guy enough time to cut in front of him. He makes fun of the big man (slacker) getting pushed around by mini coop boy and that he was struck with fear of confrontation.
 
What’s your crazy road rage story?
 
After a day of training at the gym an old man decided 15 over the speed limit was to slow. He proceeded to drive next to me, curse me out, then drove in front of me and held his middle finger out his window wagging it as he drove off in anger. Being the sissy I am, I stayed in my car trying not to laugh my butt off.
 
Signed,
Intern Tyler

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OPP: Strip Through College
YI!
 
Our OPP today Briana is about to graduate high school and she is dead set that while in college, she will be stripping to earn her money. She wants to know how to avoid the pitfalls of all of the bad things that come along with the industry.
 
Slacker asks what happens if her friends come into the strip club and see her. Everyone changes when they go into the profession. There is no way you cannot get sucked into the other side of the business and go down the rabbit hole. Slacker says it’s as if she is rubbing herself with hamburger meat and swimming across a pool of sharks and expects not to get eaten.
 
Steve says why not have a job while in college and a stable one. It’s a good business investment in the long run because you’re making lots of money. Thinks it’s a great business mentality and loves where her head is at. Steve also has said he hasn’t ever seen anyone come out of the profession changed but it is possible to not get involved into the crazy side. He asks if she can handle everyone ogling at you at all times.  She replied yes she can handle it.
 
What advice do you have for Briana?
 
I think it’s definitely possible to not get sucked into the classic stripper lifestyle if you go about it smart.  Just have the discipline and don’t do anything you’re not comfortable with.
 
Signed,
Intern Tyler
 
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I Never
YI!

Sarah Jessica Parker recently admitted she just had her first ever tequila shot...at 49 years old! Slacker tried to give someone his phone number the other day, and they didn't have a cell phone!

Slacker says he can’t believe she has never drunk tequila before. He says he wishes he could avoid tequila for a lifetime like her. He wishes he never had a shot of Jager and rumple mints. Slacker says Steve doesn’t want to be in a wedding because he’d be too good of a groomsman. He would hit on all the bridesmaids and have an epic bachelor party. He was astounded that a person didn’t have a cell phone. He feels emptiness in his soul without his phone.

Steve says he has done everything once. He has never been a best man or groomsmen for a wedding. He just doesn’t want to.  

Lil' D has never been to Disney World or Land. He had no childhood. He took one vacation ever and that was Tuscon, Arizona in a hotel.

What have you never done or had before?

Never have I ever smoked marijuana. And I live in Colorado. Weird.

Signed,
Intern Tyler

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Tell Us Something Good
Yi!

A woman was eating dinner with her family and a man commented on her t-shirt that happened to be a Hooter's t-shirt. He told her she didn't look like a Hooter's girl so when she was 250 pounds, she lost 130 pounds and got the job at Fort Meyers Hooters! She just graduated with her bachelors and is going back for her Masters Degree in Florida!

Slacker says they are exceptional tippers and do good deeds, but on the radio they are very cynical. This woman is awesome for taking something bad and turning it into something good. His son told him the other day he has a crush on a girl at school and they sat together at lunch. SO cute. But, it wasn’t true. His son lied about it though. He is only in first grade and really likes this other little girl.

Steve says if people called in and said they were pregnant he would say damn that sucks. He has nothing really great happening in his life he admits. His house is getting remodeled, but that’s about it.

Can you tell us something good? What is it?

Signed,
Intern Nikki

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Thought It Was Gone Forever
Yi!

A New Jersey family lost not only their home during Super Storm Sandy, but their family dog as well. They tried looking for him for months after the storm, but never found him. The family decided it's time for them to find a new dog only to find him in the shelter a year later!

Slacker says if his dog was lost in a super storm he would look for maybe a week. Just because he knows it would just be gone. If it was a cat, he wouldn’t even try. Even if it was just a rain storm and his dog got lost, he would look for a couple days and that’s it. A person bought a math book at a flea market and the person’s dad was like hey, that’s my old math book. Sure enough, it was!

Steve says that is sad that the dog was at the shelter for a year and the family didn’t even go look there!

What have you lost that you thought was gone forever?

I lost my late grandmother’s diamond ring that I was absolutely in love with. I lost it several times. Once in the trash, once in a move, once in the laundry and every single time I found it! It is seriously unbelievable!

Signed,

Intern Nikki
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OPP: Move the Mother-In-Law in
Yi!
Yi! My husband comes from a large family. All of his brothers and sisters have kids. We do not. His mother is older and about to sell her home. We can barely tolerate one another and now, she wants to move in with us. The whole family is behind the idea. My husband says the move will bring us all closer together. I disagree and think it will wreck my marriage. Can you ask your audience if they have been through this and if it is a good idea to allow your mother-in-law to move in. What should I do?
Stacie
 
Slacker had his in-laws coming in here soon. They’re staying with Slacker and his family. Slacker doesn’t understand Steve’s advice at all. Slacker thinks that if it is family you should let whomever stay at least for a little while. His mother-in-law would be able to stay with him any time even if he hated her. He wouldn’t let someone not have his help especially if they were down and out.

Steve says Slacker doesn’t have his groove now once his wife’s family stays with him. Steve said he would never let his nephew live with him because he has a rhythm and rhyme to his life and thinks it would disrupt his living situation. He doesn’t understand why he would be in the wrong for not letting family stay with him when he could put them up in a hotel so they could still have their own space. And he could have his. He doesn’t think that once the mother-in-law is at the house she won’t ever leave. She has to stop it now.

What should Stacie do?

I think she should just talk it over with the hubby some more and see if they can compromise. Maybe they can compromise on a time limit for the living situation?

Signed,
Intern Nikki 

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Delivery Room Drama
Yi!
A celebrity gossip site is reporting Jason Sudeikis passed out in the delivery room while his wife, Olivia Wilde, was giving birth to their child! Two nurses had to revive him with smelling salts!

Slacker says they don’t care whether or not they pronounce celebrities names right. He says it makes no sense that a woman can banish a dad out of the delivery room because they have made half of the baby themselves. His wife had morning sickness really bad and the nurses were trying to get an IV in her. But her veins were collapsed and they kept poking her and there was blood. Slacker ended up fainting because he was woozy over the needles they kept poking her with. The nurses abandoned their post and cares for Slacker while he was faint from blood while his poor pregnant wife was just sitting there.

Steve says it is okay for woman to ban the fathers of the babies during the birth, same with everyone else. He jokes around about the distance a father must be outside of the delivery room.  He thinks it’s 15 feet, when it’s like 10 feet. 15 feet is the amount of feet a person has to be from a door when smoking.
 
What delivery room drama have you experienced? 

Signed,
Intern Nikki 

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Bad Bachelor/ette Parties
Yi!
A group of men on their way to the Kentucky Derby for a bachelor party made a gruesome discovery after they pulled their rented RV over in southeastern Minnesota: a body inside the vehicle's exterior cargo compartment. Talk about creepy!

Slacker says when bachelor parties go to strip clubs the strippers just see dollar signs. And you spend way too much. He was reading about bachelor parties but bachelorette parties didn’t actually start until the 70’s. Slacker said he approached by a bachelorette party and he had to eat a candy of this woman’s candy necklace, but that is so vanilla.

Steve says bachelorette parties are just stupid now because they play girly games.

Lil' D said his bachelor party was horrible because they weren't doing anything he wanted to do, so him and his brother got into a fist fight. His brohter had a black eye at the wedding.

Have you ever been to a bachelor/ bachelorette party that went terribly wrong?

Signed,
Intern Nikki

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Faker
Yi!
A man in Florida posed as a DEA agent all to gain respect in Orlando's club scene. To gain free access to all the clubs he would tell the owners illegal activity was happening in their clubs. Eventually the one owner contacted the FBI and the man confessed he was posing as an agent.

Not only did someone pose at DEA, but a woman faked her own death just to avoid a $39 fine from a tanning salon! Two years later after getting a call from a domestic violence call, police showed u on her doorstep asking if she was still alive because she was supposed to be dead. She now faces criminal charges and a jail sentence.

Slacker says he faked being Daughtry in Vegas so he could get food. And it wasn’t even good food. He sent the other people in the entourage to the front to see the time. He convinced the people in the front of the line that he was Daughtry’s brother. If he couldn’t pull that off he was going to pretend to be Howie Mandel’s brother.

Steve makes fun of this guy who pretended to a DEA agent because if you want street cred especially in the clubs you want to want to be the drug dealer. Steve bought camo clothes and shaved his head like a jar head haircut and went to buy booze at a liquor store. And they sold it to him.

Have you ever faked something? Being a person? An illness?

Signed,
Intern Nikki

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OPP: Long Haired Boy
Yi!
Yi,
My four-year-old son, Matthew, has shoulder-length hair that he absolutely loves. My husband and I tried to take him for a haircut on three separate occasions and Mathew totally freaked out until we promised not to cut it. The only challenge with this is that ever stranger we pass on the street thinks he's a girl and starts addressing him as such. 
THEN, when we (or Matthew) tells them he's a boy, the stranger almost always shoots us a look like we're bad parents who are out to confuse them or make Matthew's life harder. Does anyone else have this issue with their son? Why are people so intolerant of boys with long hair? Is there a better way we can handle this with strangers? Help!!
Sara
 
Slacker asks Steve if he has ever seen a baby that is dressed wrong. Like a baby girl in blue is really weird. He says the kid is four-years-old and the parents should cut his hair because they are the parents. He probably doesn’t like broccoli either, but you make him eat it. She needs to cut his hair. He hates when parents make their kids try to be very unique.

Steve said by his parents letting him have long hair is the problem. He says it is a great learning experience for the four-year-old. He agrees with Steve about the uniqueness of parents and children. The offbeat names, and weird hair styles don’t really make a person unique.

 What Should Sara and her husband do?

Doesn’t she dress him like a boy? Like how do people not distinguish the gender by the color of clothes or style? I think that will make it easier. Throw a Power Rangers t-shirt on him and I guarantee people won’t say anything anymore.

Signed,
Intern Nikki
 

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Made Him Get Rid of _____
Yi!

One of Slacker's first purchases as an adult was a table for his house, but now his wife decided it's time for it to go. He claims it was a symbol of his manhood, and will always miss it.

Slacker says he knows this is stupid and he isn’t a hoarder.  He also kept his pirate shirt that he wore as a rock star in his band. But his wife gave those up without asking him. He says this table is a rod iron glass table he got from Pier One and it is sentimental to him. He knows it’s no longer cool and its clunk, but he still loves it.

Steve says he thinks Slacker felt very much like an adult when he bought that table because he only had the futon and TV in his apartment. It has sentimental value because it has seen different houses, wives, and pets. He thinks Slacker’s wife is insensitive for just putting it outside without saying anything. Men love their toys. He says he had giant metal chess pieces in his house and Slacker noticed they were gone. So Steve told him that every woman that came over mentioned how stupid they were.

What have you made your man give up?

I made my ex boyfriend get rid of his comic book action figures. I get the posters, and the movies and the actual comics. But the action figures were a bit much.

Signed,
Intern Nikki
 
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Drunk or Kid
Yi!
We think we can determine whether certain stories happened to people when they were drunk or a kid. Tell us your story and we are going to guess if it happened when you were a child or when you were drunk. One kid got his hand stuck in between a booth and a wall, reaching for a French fry and had to have the fire department come get it out.

Slacker thinks that now that he hasn’t had a drink in a few days he’ll be able to beat Steve at guessing this time. He thinks if he puts logic and thought into his guess he can get them right. He thinks he has good reason and more common sense than Steve does. He guessed drunk for the kid story because of the size of the hand and a child’s ability to squeeze into tight spaces.

Steve thinks he’s gotten better at the game and will easily be able to beat him. He says usually guessing based on his gut instinct he’ll be able to figure it out. He guessed child because only a kid would reach for a French fry on the ground

What crazy story do you have?

Signed,
Intern Courtney

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OPP: Out-of-Control Sister
Yi!
Jennifer has a sister who recently got divorced and has two kids. Her sister has been dropping the kids off at Jennifer’s house while she goes out drinking and partying. Jennifer thinks she’s being a bad mom and wants to confront her on it

Slacker thinks that it’s turning into a pattern and that Jennifer enables the behavior by always letting her do it. He thinks if Jennifer tries to confront her she’ll be reminded of her controlling ex husband and won’t listen to what she has to say.

Steve thinks she’s just living her life and redeeming herself after a divorce. He thinks it’s natural for people to let lose after a break up or divorce. He thinks the situation could turn dangerous since her sister has never partied like this before.  He thinks they should set the kids up to confront her to make her listen and feel guilty.

Should Jennifer confront her sister about the situation? How should she do it?

I think using the kids to guilt her out of partying is a great idea and would work perfectly.

Signed,
Intern Courtney

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Topics: Human Interest
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Ghost Stories
Yi!
Lots of supernatural occurrences have been on the news recently. One woman in California claims that when she drives her truck she can feel her dead ex-boyfriend touching her hair and shoulders. She had a ghost buster inspect it who said he heard a male’s voice in the vehicle. Another woman claims to have had relations with a ghost and has done so two times.

Slacker says there is a town that has a dead beached whale that’s been decomposing and filling up with methane gases that will eventually blow up on the town around it. He says the town didn’t have the resources to remove the whale but he wonders how they withstand the smell. He doesn’t believe every single ghost story.

Steve thinks it is physically to have relations with a ghost. He thinks lots of people just make up ghost stories for fame and attention. He wonders how come you can never see an actual picture of the ghost because the footage is always grainy and blurry. He wonders why people always know famous ghosts and not just an average one.

What supernatural ghost story do you have?

Signed,
Intern Courtney

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Locations: California


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Worst Job
Yi!
A business recently put out an advertisement for a job but few people applied due to the brutal requirements. Here’s the list of some of the requirements:
Must be able to work 135+ hours a week
Ability to work overnight, associate needs pending
Willingness to forgo any breaks
Work mostly standing up and/or bending down
Must be able to lift up to 75 lbs. on a regular basis
Ph.D. in psychology or real-life equivalent
Crisis management skills a must
Ability to coordinate multiple, often conflicting, schedules
Ability to make independent decisions on behalf of others
Ability to work with associates with minimal ability
Ability to work in a chaotic environment
Frequent travel; minivan driving experience a plus
Excellent interpersonal skills and a collaborative approach
Flexible when it comes to surprise requests
Unlimited patience
Understanding of social media, mobile devices and video games
Selflessly driven
Valid driver's license, CPR certification and Red Cross membership
Ability to wear several hats, professional and domestic
Positive disposition at all times
The actual job? A mom.
 
Slacker has unlimited respect for stay at home moms. It’s a very hard job because you constantly have to do something for the kids. He himself was a gardener at a motel. He said the job was technically the grounds keeper, which was watering the one plant and pulling weeds from sidewalk cracks. There was no gardening really involved so they had him sweep the parking lot.

Steve thinks you bring being mom on yourself and you don’t pay taxes for being a mom. He was rock picker. Before farmers would plow fields he would have to pick up rocks and fill up a bucket of them again and again. It was a windy, dirty, and dusty job that was miserable.

I used to have to babysit for 10 kids between the ages of 2-7 every single week and only made 20$. There was never a week where one of the kids wasn’t in tears, fighting, or injured.

Signed,
Intern Courtney

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