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Slacker & Steve's Blog

Posts from May 2014


Hit in the Head (aka Clocked in the Cabesa)
YI!

There are a lot of stories in the news about people being hit in the head lately!
 
A couple is suing the National Aquarium in Baltimore for over $16,000 after they claim a dolphin bonked their young son on the head with a pool toy. The couple and their son attended a dolphin show at the aquarium in April of last year. After the show, a trainer tossed a pool toy into the pool and the dolphin responded by launching at spectators. The little boy was hit in the head by the pool toy injuring him. The parents are now suing the aquarium for $16,454 for negligence and pain and suffering. (Click here for the full story)
 
A coach at a school in Aurora, Illinois was hit in the head with a shot put during a track meet.
The man was hit in the head with the 12-pound and blacked out. He was taken to the hospital.
Turns out he suffered a fractured skull but is going to be okay. He is expected to be released from the hospital this week.
 
Slacker thinks that Steve was dropped on his head when he was younger. He is confused on how a pool toy can hurt someone, says it’s just full of air! Slacker claims he was awesome at shot put, better than anyone could have imagined.
 
Steve says it must have been a big pool toy in order for the people to sue for that much. He calls out Slacker saying he has never done anything shot put or discus related! Steve said he had a baseball to the eye. He said that he swelled up so badly and so fast that the gravel was stuck in his wound!
Lil D was in a bear suit sliding on a banister and fell down two flights of stairs! He says he woke up two days later in a hospital. Lil D says the reason he was in a bear suit because at a summer camp he was the only one tall enough to play Chewbacca for a Star Wars play. He says they didn’t have enough money for a real outfit so they bought him a bear!
 
What crazy hit in the head story do you have?

Signed,
Intern Tyler

(Photo Courtesy: Flickr.com)

 
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OPP: He Wants Nights Apart
YI!

Today’s OPP:

Melany’s boyfriend used to go out once a month for a boys night. Recently he has been going out more and more. She is worried that having too much time apart from each other will eventually start having an effect on their relationship. Melany wants to know if this is normal and healthy for a relationship.
 
Slacker says that if you give your boyfriend space it actually is good for the relationship. He thinks Melany should go out with her friends more often. Slacker says that her boyfriend is possibly going out to much and partying hard for being in a relationship.
 
Steve is wondering if Melany is smothering him to much by being to needy and clingy. He understands what the concern is and agrees.
 
What advice do you have for Melany?
 
I think Melany should just leave her boyfriend alone. Everyone needs their own time to themselves and their friends.
 
Signed
Intern Tyler

(Photo Courtesy: Flickr.com)
 
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Anyone Listening Who
YI!
 
The return of summer means the return of 'Anyone Listening Who'! We have a little competition to see who knows you better.
 
Slacker thinks Lil D has an advantage because he talks to all of you individually! He thinks that more of you have had SWAT in your house. Slacker is willing to accept calls from prison to prove that he will win!
 
Steve agrees with Slacker, Lil D has a great advantage! He thinks that a lot of you have used a stiletto as a weapon. Steve said he has had this done to him outside of a club!
 
Lil D thinks that more of you have bought a new can and has wrecked it! This is because a lot of people buy their car and then instantly wrecks it out of the parking lot of the dealership!
 
Which team are you on?

Signed,
Intern Tyler

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Retail Therapy
YI!

Going shopping after heartbreak is bad for your bank balance. Researchers found that women who head to the malls to cheer themselves up after ending a relationship spend more money than on any other shopping trip. The study looked at more than 2,000 women, and found that spending money on payday came in second to heartbreak, and spending while window shopping or browsing online came in third. The research also found that nine in ten women admit the mood they are in during their shopping trip can affect how much they end up spending/buying. Also more than half avoid the shops altogether if they are in a certain mood because they know they will end up over-spending.
 
Slacker says Steve and him would go on “Man Sprees” together and go shopping. He says it’s good to go with each other because they wouldn’t ever go somewhere wearing the same cloths. Slacker says whenever he goes to Steve’s house he always sees new things that happen to be brass just hanging out. He says after a break up, he flew to Mexico and then almost bought a time share! Slacker says if he bought the time share he would have regretted it.
 
Steve buys man things from eBay, like tools, tires and Tonka trucks. He says he doesn’t know where to put the brass items or how to hang them up.
Lil D says that he blew his savings account and bought the “Bad Boy Wardrobe” because a girl said he was too much of a nice guy. He said when he got home he tried on the cloths and nothing fit right and he looked ridiculous!

What is the craziest thing you’ve bought to make yourself feel better?
 
Signed,
Intern Tyler

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Smashed on Purpose
YI!
 
A woman was arrested after she pulled her boyfriend's TV. off the wall and threw it out of his third-story apartment window.  The TV then smashed on the ground nearly hitting a family in a mini-van. The woman was later arrested. She said what she did was justifiable because he cheated on her.
 
Slacker talks about how the guys went to an event and parked in a structure. He says there were way more people than parking spots in the building and one was parked directly behind Steve’s truck. Slacker says in order to get out of the spot Steve needed to make a 940 point turn. He said that instead of doing the point turns Steve smashed into the guys car!
 
Steve claims he battered the guy’s car, he debated on the turning Slacker suggested but he liked his own idea better.
 
What have you smashed on purpose?
 
I have smashed my controller and PlayStation game console due to frustration with video games. Whether I couldn’t beat bosses or get a puzzle completed I just lost it! Needless to say I no longer play those video games.
 
Signed,
Intern Tyler
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OPP: Moving for Online Girl
YI!
 
Today’s OPP is from Tracy:
 
Yi! My son is graduating college and just told me and his father that he is going to be moving across the country to be with his online girlfriend.  I hadn't ever heard of this woman before, but he says he's been talking to her for over two years and he thinks they're soul mates.  I think he's being very naive, but I'm also worried that if I push the subject too much he'll shut me out.  I know I'm the parent and I should put my foot down, but he's graduating college so I also think he needs to make mistakes.  I don't know what to do, what would you do? 
Tracy
 
Slacker says you can’t do anything about it. He thinks they met in an online game. Slacker says it might be good in the virtual world but what happens when you meet in real life and you aren’t the awesome sword wielder you are in game? He says that internet dating must be a generational thing because it’s all new to him. Slacker says the boy must have scoured the internet for his soul mate and found her across the country. He thinks the parents should tell him he is on his own and let him make the decisions.
 
Steve thinks this might be the first girl who’s given him attention and now the boy is all in. He wonders if they have Skyped at all just so he knows that it’s what she looks like.
 
What advice do you have for Tracy?
 
I think online dating in general is weird, but it is the new thing and lots of people have had success with it. Do it think moving across the country is silly? Absolutely but you can’t stop someone from doing something. I think Tracy needs to let her son make his own decision, because who knows maybe it is his soul mate!
 
Signed,
Intern Tyler

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Doggie Damage
YI!

A pair of French bulldogs, named Stella and Stuart, recently ate their owner's prescription pills before biting down on a St John medic alert panic button. Australian medics rushed to the scene and broke down a door when no one answered. Stella had the pills in her mouth while Stuart had activated the panic button 12 times. The pills were blood thinners. The dogs were not affected.
 
Londoner Royston Grimstead gave his dog away after she ate part of his $120,000 Aston Martin. He tells the Daily Mirror, “I came home and saw Luce covered in white stuff. I thought she had got a bird and it was feathers – but it was the fiberglass from the car. She had chewed out a huge chunk. I just laughed. I mean, what else could I do? I’m not a crier and she knew she had done something wrong because she had this guilty look on her face. She must have overheard me talking about rehoming her because she’s normally friendly and never really chewed on anything before. She avoided me after she did it and she was gone the next day. I didn’t tell the new owners what she had done – I expect when they hear, I’ll find Luce back on my doorstep.”
 
Slacker says that every time he talks about a story it happens to him, he’s afraid of his future doggie damage! He talks about how his dog Mojo was acting strange one night panting heavily and when his wife went to let the dog out they found out the dog left “mud” everywhere! Slacker said it compared to a monster truck rally. He thinks his dog got ahold of some grass seeds he put in the lawn.
 
Steve says he won’t get a dog because he needs to protect his future Aston Martin.
 
What’s your doggie damage story?
 
My dog has eaten up the carpet, of my whole apartment! A hole here and pulled carpet over there. Apparently he doesn’t like to be left alone and this wasn’t just a one-time thing…he did it two more times!
 
Signed,
Intern Tyler


 
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Make Us Feel Insignificant
Yi!
Wanna feel like an underachiever? 11-year-old golf phenom Lucy Li is the youngest person to ever qualify for the U.S. Women's Open. We want you to make us feel insignificant!

Slacker says he hasn’t even remotely done something of this magnitude in achievements. He refers to her age and says to let it soak in that she is in one of the most prestigious golf tourneys ever. When he was 11 he was using a magnifying glass to burn ants. He won best guitarist in Colorado one year. That a huge achievement! They have also done a ton of stuff for Children's Hospital and he won an award for being a huge inflluence in the Radio-Thon fundraiser.

Steve says him and Slacker are losers. When he was 11 he was throwing rocks at cars. He mentions this girl they know that went to NASA for an internship and apparently it was really amazing and she learned a lot. Steve just wallows in self-pity.

Lil’ D went to the state science fair due to a huge project of citrus fruits. And one thrid place! He is happy about it.

What is your greatest achievement in life?

My greatest achievement is getting this internship. My dreams came true when I landed this and I never want to take it for granted. Seriously, it is amazing to have it and I learn a lot from these guys.

Signed,
Intern Nikki
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Bad Babysitter
Yi!
A Pennsylvania mother took her 1 year old daughter to the hospital because she was drunk, and blames it on the babysitter. The babysitter put vodka in a bottle and gave it to the baby, making her blood alcohol content .28 which is four times the amount of an adult! The situation is now under investigation.

Slacker says when he gets drunk he spills stuff. What could go wrong when you put vodka in a sippy-cup? He obviously is kidding. He was never baby sat. He babysat his nephew in his grandpa’s house. He felt like he dead was all around him. They also had a cat. This is a recipe for disaster. He began to forget that he was supposed to be babysitting after locking the cat in a room so he didn’t have to look at it. He was paranoid that his dead grandpa was watching him in that house.

Steve is wondering how the kid kept drinking vodka in cup that must have tasted disgusting. He found out that these twins that watched him and his sibling would get high while watching them.

What bad babysitter experience do you have?

My great grandmother used to baby sit kids all the time. I went to visit her one day and I went in the bathroom and walked in on a 3 year old duct taped to the toilet. She apparently was trying to teach the kid how to be potty in the toilet. Evil woman! It was so sad.

Signed,
Intern Nikki

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OPP: Dating My Dad
Yi! Today’s OPP comes from Brandy:

Yi, I'm 24 years old and dating a 49 year old man. My family really wants to meet him but I haven’t told them how old he is yet. They invited us over for dinner this weekend so they can finally meet him and I’m terrified. My dad is only 3 years older than my boyfriend and I’m not sure how he’s going to take it. They have a lot in common so I really hope it won’t upset my dad too much. Has anyone ever had to tell their parents they were dating someone so much older than them? How did you do it? Should I tell them before we go to the house for dinner?
Brandy
 
Slacker says if his daughter did this he would freak out. He thinks she should definitely tell them before the dinner. He thinks this guy is an idiot. That situation will be so awkward. If his daughter brought home a 49 year old man he would think the guy she’s dating is a perve. He asks if the guy has grey hair and if he does, then you can’t just roll a man with grey hair as your boyfriend. He was 10 years older than his first wife. He asks what these two people have in common. How can they connect? This is not a connection. It is a fling. Do NOT bring him home.

Steve doesn’t think it’s that bad and says Slacker should let her be happy with someone who makes her happy. People can’t help who they fall in love with, says Steve. He tells Slacker that they should congratulate this guy for landing a 24 year old.

What advice can you give Brandy?

I think she should tell her parents the age of her boyfriend the day before they go over there. That way it rips the Band-Aid off quickly and gives them a little bit of time to get over it. I think it’s weird.

Signed,
Intern Nikki

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OPP: Out-Of-Control Sister Update
Yi!
A couple weeks ago we did Jennifer’s OPP. Her sister is recently divorced and was going out, getting drunk, and picking up guys with her new found freedom. The problem is Jenifer’s sister was leaving the kids with Jennifer while she proceeded to go out and party. Jennifer confronted her and you’re not going to believe what happened. Jennifer’s sister has not been home in days and has left her kids with Jennifer!

Slacker and Steve both think it is outrageous that this woman has abandoned her kids and left them with Jenifer. Slacker thinks she could file a missing person’s report, but then that would put the mother in danger of losing her children. He questions Jennifer and he thinks that she is doing a bunch of drugs and out binge drinking. He thinks someone should call the police. He thinks she is partying from years of oppression from her divorce, but she is taking it way too far.

Steve says the ex-husband cannot find out because she has custody and she would go to jail. He feels really bad for Jennifer and the kids. He knows the mom is acting responsibly

What would you do in Jennifer’s case? What advice can you give Jennifer?

I think Jennifer’s sister is very selfish and needs to be seriously slapped. Who leaves their kids with their aunt right after a divorce between parents? She needs a rude awakening. Where did she go? What is she doing? Have you reported her missing? I mean come on I would get the police involved.

Signed,
Intern Nikki

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Did on a Dare
YI!
 
We all know friends can be the greatest of listeners and advice givers...and some of the worst instigators! Check out this story.
 
A man caused a security breach at the Des Moines International Airport when he rode the baggage carousel on a dare. He first stuck his head through the doorway, then hopped on, crouched down low, and rode it around into the secure back area and then out the other side.
By the time cops got there the 27-year-old man was already off the carousel and was putting his bags in the car. He told cops he had a few beers and didn't think it was going to be that big of a deal. No charges have been filed yet, but cops have video of the incident.
 
Slacker starts out by saying that Steve made out a dog for eleven dollars. He says he has actually does manly things, unlike Steve. Slacker asks who really won, the dog or Steve. He said that the guy that rode the carousel is an idiot. Slacker thinks that men are the only ones dumb enough to actually do dare. He said that he was dared to put his contacts in after he touched a jalapeno, for one hundred dollars. Slacker thought that the jalapenos didn’t have any oils on it so he agreed to do it. He then put his contacts in and thought he was in the clear, and then his eyes started to slowly burn. Slacker received his one hundred dollars, but threw away his contacts in the end, which cost him 150 dollars for a new pair.
 
Steve says it was eleven dollars he won for making out with the dog. He says their young female intern did a dare to talk to a cute guy at the mall, so it’s not only guys. Steve told Slacker he should have put milk in his eye to get rid of the burn.
 
What dumb things have your friends dared you to do?
 
When I was younger I was dared to throw firecrackers and smoke bombs onto the highway… at semis. Like a silly kid I totally agreed! Luckily no one was hurt but we did cause a lot of traffic. I would have to agree with Slacker, men are the only ones dumb enough to take on dares.
 
Signed,
Intern Tyler


 
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OPP: Not a User
YI!
 
Today's OPP: Victoria has a friend that likes her. Her friend is constantly buying her gifts, from Starbucks to jewelry from Tiffany's. Victoria has made it clear they are just friends but he continues with the gifts anyways. Her friends say she needs to stop accepting but she doesn't see anything wrong with it.
 
Slacker thinks she leads him on by giving him a peck on the cheek each time he gives her a gift. He thinks he continues to do it because she continues to lead him on. He doesn’t think a woman should ever feel obligated to give a man something no matter how many gifts he gives her. However he thinks she encourages him to keep pursuing her by accepting the gifts he offers her. He thinks this guy has done this before which is why he’s so confident it will work because it’s worked in the past.
 
Steve thinks that buying gifts as expensive as Tiffany’s is a little bit creepy. He thinks it would be rude if she didn’t accept the gift. He thinks the guy might expect something in return if he keeps giving her gifts. He thinks she should get the Tiffany bracelet from him and then cut off the friendship.
 
 What do you think she should do?
 
I think she should confront him about why he buys her gifts when he knows she doesn’t want to date him. After that she needs to get the Tiffany bracelet end the friendship.
 

Signed,
 
Intern Courtney
 
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Biggest Fight, Littlest Thing
YI!

A Tennessee man is in trouble after he threatened his wife...because she burnt his toast! Sometimes it's the little things that turn into huge problems.
 
A Tennessee man was charged with domestic assault after threatening to hit his wife over burnt toast. The man was drunk and picked up his wife’s crutch, then threatened to hit her with it. He shoved one of the responding officers and hit his head against the glass divider in the cop car while on his way to jail. He also threatened to kill the cop and his family. No one was injured during the incident.
 
Slacker has a hard time concentrating because of the fight he just had with Steve about a fight that he had with his wife. He claims he scratches off the dark stuff on the toast when it’s burnt. Slacker talks about how much he hates the heel of the bread, it’s a teaser when you see you have some slices left and you get everything ready for a grilled cheese and you’re tricked by the heel of the bread! He says he doesn’t have different settings on his toaster, who has settings? Slacker has a thing on the side of his toaster that has three settings for sausage and egg but no bagle setting! He talks about how he fights with his wife about the type of pens he prefers. Slacker loves his pens and says that one day he was out of them at home and his wife ran to the store and bought fine tip pens. He wants to know who uses fine pens!? Slacker was angry because he thinks fine tip pens are like writing with an exacto knife, constantly shreds the paper!
 
Steve says burnt toast is better than under toasted stuff. Steve says it possibly is Texas Toast and it’s harder to get the right crisp. He wonders why not just put it on beagle setting because it toasts just one side. Steve says all microwaves come with settings why not just set it to that. He questions if you’re in a marriage, why would you know the pen preference of your significant other? Steve wants to know if they tested five couple would anyone really know?
 
Lil D says he has frozen beagle setting on his toaster and that he knows his wife’s pen preference because she has them laying all over the house. He says that his wife wanted popcorn for dinner one night and that caused a big fight because it’s not a proper meal! Lil D says it’s because it can’t fill you up at all!
 
What the littlest thing that has turned into the biggest fight for you?
 
Signed,
Intern Tyler

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Circumcision Battle
Yi!
A couple in Floridatook a fight they were having to court. They  aren't married but have a three year old son together. The dad wants to get his son circumcised but the mom thinks it's not necessary and doesn't want to.

Slacker says it depends on the family and the beliefs of what happens. He had his son circumcised and was terrified when they asked if he wanted to be in the room with him during it.

Steve wonders if religious beliefs are considered in the situation or not. He thinks it's almost to late to do it since the boy is almost four. It would have to turn into a surgical procedure now since he's so much older than a baby.

Who should get to decide what happens?

Signed,
Intern Courtney

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Dirty Divorce
Yi!
Statistics have proven that during a divorce the two spouses wil try to turn mutual friends against the other, cheat them out of financial sttelment, and get more property. Divorce is also proven to harm the children's well being and the parents usually struggle with choosing who the child will live with. What have you done during divorce?

Slacker says his divorce with his ex-wife went smoother than most divorces go. He thinks Steve would have a dirty divorce if he ever had one. He thinks it was dirty of one woman to fight for custody of a dog because she knew how attached the husband was to the dog. He thinks the dirty divorce people are the ones who didn't want to get the divorce not the ones who initate it.

Steve somewhat agrees with Slacker where as if he were to get a divorce he'd probably hook up with the sister. He thinks it's wrong foe dirty divorces and people should just be mature about them rather than acting out.

What happened during your dirty divorce?

Signed,
Intern Courtney

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OPP: Postpartum
Yi!
Marcy has a sister who recently had a baby and Marcy thinks since the baby's birth she's fallen into postpartum depression. She says since the baby was born all her behavior seems like she's suffering from postpartum depression even though she hasn't been diagnosed with it.

Slacker wonders if Marcy just misses her sister and their relationship or is she cocerned for the child's life. He thinks this is a very serious subject that they can't tiptoe around.

Steve wonders if Marcy should be the one to confront her or if someone else should go about it such as her husband. He thinks someone should confront her in safe way but Marcy may not be the best one to approach her about it.

How should she approach her sister about it to make sure she gets the right help?

Signed,
Intern Courtney

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GMD: Fancy Clothes
YI!
Alyssa is a real estate agent who spends lots of money on brand name clothes to impress her clients. She thinks it makes her client know she's serious about her job and sell more houses. Her husband Joseph thinks she's crazy for blowing their money on clothes when she's not even that great at her job.

Slacker wonders if there's a way for her to save money but still have nice clothes. He wants to know if Joseph is trying to give constructive criticism or if he's just being straight up rude to her. He doesn't think Joseph understands that it's their money not just his money.

Steve thinks her husband is going about it in a rude way by insulting her about her job. He thinks Joseph could have gone about it in a nicer way. If he encouraged her more for something else rather than telling her how bad she is at working and unrealistic her job it.

Does she need to have expensive clothes in order to be good at her job?

Signed,
Intern Courtney

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Weird Thing in Your Purse
YI!

If a woman's purse is neat and tidy she either just switched bags or did a massive clean out, because when it comes to a girl's daily purse, it's always a mess! The messes vary, however, based on different personalities.

Here's what the mess inside your purse says about you:

            • The Overstuffed Purse Mess: This is the purse that has so much stuff in it that it's actually getting difficult to zip up. If your purse is constantly over-flowing, you are a make-it-work kind of girl. You are loyal to your favorite things and favorite people. Just because the zipper on your bag isn't working anymore or the seams are starting to burst doesn't mean it doesn't look slamming with your favorite outfit. Why get rid of it?!

            • The Dumpster Purse Mess: This purse is dirty. To find a pen you have to dig through melted pieces of gum, old receipts, dust, wrappers, and who knows what else. If this is what your bag is like, you are a busy girl with an active social life who has better things to do than spend time cleaning out her bag. You are also environmentally conscious because you would rather dump your trash into your purse than be a litter bug!  

            • The Always Prepared Purse Mess: This is the purse that is full to bursting with anything and everything you could possibly need for any situation or emergency. Sewing kit? Check! Hair ties? Check! Nail file? Check! Flashlight? Of course! Kitchen sink? Possibly. If you aren't a mom, you are the mom of your friends. You secretly love that everyone looks to you for a tissue, pen or chapstick – even though you act like you find it totally annoying! You are always on time, dressed appropriately and always feel ready to take on any challenge!   

            • The Make-up Explosion Purse Mess: Blush compacts have disintegrated in the bottom of your purse and lip stick and liner is caked into the bottom crevices. No matter what goes in your bag it comes out in a layer of pink and glitter. If this is your bag, you are a style and make-up guru, but you don't want to be the girl who is constantly reapplying and touching up her face. So, you hastily reapply during bathroom breaks and never manage to put lids and caps back on properly .. .it can get very messy! You are definitely the girl that your friends always come to for fashion and makeover advice, and you frequently do other people's make-up.    

            • The Mom Mess: Your bag doubles as a diaper bag, toy chest and snack pack. There are always squashed cheerios, teething rings, matchbox cars and baby wipes in your once beloved designer bag. If this is your bag, you're a mom, but you still value style. Who says your favorite Michael Kors can't handle a bag of goldfish that opened up and then got pulverized into the once pristine liner?! (Cosmo)

Slacker would never grab anything from his wife’s purse, not even if he is given permission! He says will never enter the “dark zone.” Slacker said he was in a meeting one day and a woman spilt her purse everywhere and he saw something lipstick shaped, but wasn’t a lip stick container. Slacker said it must have been her “Bob.” Slacker likes being a man because he doesn’t have to carry anything not even spare underwear. He also claims that Lil D’s wife has an “Always Prepared” mess in her bag because one day he needed scissors and she pulled some out, full sized!

Steve thinks every woman has a pair of underwear in either their purse or their car. He swears that Slackers wife has them somewhere even though slacker doesn't believe it.

What is the craziest thing in your purse right now?

I, like Slacker, refuse to go into a woman's purse. They could be booby trapped! One time I reached in without permission and I got poked by something, I vowed never again!

Signed,
Intern Tyler
 
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Conspiracy Theories
YI!

The “Area 51: Myth or Reality” exhibit is reopening its doors in Las Vegas this month – and adding some new artifacts to the exhibit that weren’t there before. There’s supposedly an "authentic alien artifact" – which are small pieces of material that came from a reported 1986 UFO crash in Russia. You’ll also get to see photographs of UFOs from around the world, going back to the 1940s up through the '70s.
 
Slacker still wonders about the moon landing. He asks what evidence we have that we have been there. Slacker thinks money was used for something else, like the men in black or something like that. During the show he sneezed and claimed that the government is coming after him because he was talking about Area 51. Slacker said he was willing to pay twenty dollars to prove to Steve that aliens do exist. He talks about the Denver International Airport and how the paintings inside the airport explain another structure under the airport.
 
Steve says we have been to the moon 6 times! He asks if we didn’t land then why else would we go back six times. Steve questions Slacker and asks what else would we use the money for if not for the moon landing? He thinks that slackers “people” (conspiracy theorists) are all crazy and wants nothing to do with them. Steve also wonders how much the real estate would cost under the airport.
 
What conspiracy theory do you have?
 
The DIA one is big for me. There is nothing like it! Those crazy pictures all explain the possible end of the world and everyone uniting under a German rule. On top of that, the NEW WORLD ORDER is all over the place! Plus there is a evil horse that resides there!

Signed,
Intern Tyler


 

 
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OPP: Irresponsible Dad-to-Be
YI!
 
Candy came on the air with us to share her OPP today.  She and her husband have been married for a few years. They are currently expecting their first child in a couple of months. Lately, his new affinity is to go to the bar or strip club (or both) on his days off and he spends considerably more money than they can afford. Even after receiving good news about anything, he will go drinking alone and not contribute more to their family. There is unfinished work around the house and he is supposed to be finishing it but it seems not to matter anymore. Candy is wondering if he is cheating? Is he an alcoholic? Is her marriage doomed?

Slacker says the first time he read the OPP; he was completely on Candy’s side. He said that Lil D talked to him and pointed out that this might be the husbands last hurrah before things get real. Slacker thinks that women don’t want to admit it but men change too! He says it’s not physical but the mental “I’m going to be in charge of another human being” emotion. Slacker thinks it’s kind of strange that Candy’s husband goes out on the only day they could have together.
 
Steve is not sure what to think about the whole situation. He says he would understand the husband’s mentality if this is his last hurrah. Steve also thinks that her husband might be pushing away their future together. He wonders what Candy would do if her husband came out and told her exactly what he was thinking.
 
What do you think Candy should do?

I think Candy needs to talk to her husband and explain her concerns with the whole situation. Then again if its a touchy subject its easier said than done.
 
Signed,
Intern Tyler

(Photo Courtsey: Flickr.com)
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Hitchhikers
YI!
 
Steve's nephew might have a death wish. He wants to spend his summer hitchhiking across the country! We think he's crazy because you never know who you're going to run into doing that. Just check out these stories!
 
'Who is supposed to be afraid: the driver or the hitchhiker?'
Hitchhiking is a way of life for some people. But the practice of thumbing a ride isn't what it used to be. "There really has been a dramatic decline in hitchhiking," Professor Philip Scher said. "The kind of person who hitchhikes might be slightly different now than it might have been in the 60s or 70s," Scher said. He says there are many factors underlying the decline and transformation of hitchhiking. Films such as "The Hitchhiker" and "The Hitcher" have contributed a lot to people's general fear. "You're never entirely sure who's supposed to be afraid, the driver or the hitchhiker," Scher said. “With the evolution of social media, a new trend seems to be emerging: an advanced and reformed version of hitchhiking.You might call it organized, planned hitchhiking," Scher said. "You can sign up to be standing at a certain place and people coming by, will know, people might be there to pick them up." With dot com sites like Rideshare, Carpool and Ridejoy, the ability to share a car with a total stranger may have left the side of the road in favor of the information superhighway.
 
Two charged for robbing hitchhiker 
Two men faced a judge where they were given $1million dollar bonds after being accused of robbing a man they gave a ride to. The male victim told police that he was trying to hitch a ride from a black Chevy impala with three men inside. One the three men took out a gun and demanded the hitchhiker hand over his money and valuables. The victim ran to a store and the vehicle fled the scene but got into a chase. Police found the car in a ditch and were later able to arrest the suspects.
 
Hitchhiker Accused of Stealing Car, Dragging Man in OKC
Police arrest a woman accused of injuring a man by dragging him on the outside of his own car. Kristeena Wheeler, 31, told police she wanted to get home and the man told her he would take her part of the way. Wheeler told police the man stopped to get air in his tires and when he got out of the car, she then got behind the wheel and took off. Witnesses told police the man was clinging to the window on the outside of the car and dragged before falling off. The man was taken to an area hospital, his condition listed as stable. Wheeler told police before the man stopped at a gas station to put air in his tires, "he tried to grab my face to kiss me and then he tried to grab my special private area." She said that's why she felt she needed to get away from him, according to the report. Wheeler was arrested and booked on charges of assault and battery with a motor vehicle, larceny of a motor vehicle and leaving the scene of an injury accident.
 
Slacker thinks Steve’s nephew is a idiot. He thinks it’s smart that he is at least taking a friend. Slacker wants to know who would wants to pick up two big guys on the side of the road. He says it seems like it’s a nice thing but who and why would do it? Slacker thinks its just as dangerous to give a woman a ride, do you do ask her to show you her purse? He says they could have weapons too! Slacker thinks that maybe Steve’s nephew is using this as a ploy to get him to buy a bus ticket somewhere. Slacker says he would never let a loved one hitchhike.
 
Steve says the problem is that his aunt hitchhiked in the 60s and 70s. He says it used to be normal behavior back in the day. Steve thinks it is not a safe or smart thing to do. He wants to know what the rules to hitchhiking are, can you do it on an on-ramp or do you have to be far away? Steve brings up a time when Slacker’s friend pulls over to give a woman a ride and several dudes get out catching a ride along. Steve had a friend that took a chance when he was following him on the way to Vegas. He says that after they got to Vegas, he got out and questioned his friend. Steve’s friend said he decided to take a chance because Steve was trailing close by and luckily it worked out.
 
What’s your crazy hitchhiking story?

My mother taught me to never pick up a hitchhiker. She said it was dangerous and told me stories of her friends. I am now afraid of anyone on the side of the road!
 
Signed,
Intern Tyler

(Photo Courtesy: Flickr.com)
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Name Bias
Yi!

Living up to your name is a real thing! Or so we think. For example, every Heather we know is a blonde and every Ashley is crazy.

Slacker says every Travis he knows is a frat boy. He mentions that the name bias thing depends on the person. It definitely relates to the gender thing. Anthony was labeled as always being a jerk, yet Tony sounds like a laid back dude. His real name is
Michael and he hates being called mike. He must be referred to as Michael, not Mike. Michael sounds like a good guy, and Mike sounds like a pretentious loser. He thinks the name Zach is goofy and every one he has met named Zach was always cool and laid back.  He has always wanted to date a girl named Becky for some reason.

Steve says him and Slacker judge people by their names. David is a common name, yet Dave sounds like a good guy and a good buddy. David sounds pretentious too. Apparently according to this poll David means clingy and insecure. Tyler is a jock name and as a person who must have gel in their hair. Every Becky Steve knows is not thin.

What name are you biased against?

I am biased towards Emily’s because every single one I know is a sweetheart. Another name I am biased against is Derek. They’re all D-bags.

Signed,
Intern Nikki

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Damage Doing the Deed
Yi!

There is nothing worse than when the mood is killed- especially when it involves Pop Rocks. A California woman was spicing up her relationship with her man when Pop Rocks irritated her mommy parts and she was rushed to the hospital.

Slacker says the TLC show copied Slacker and Steve because they came up with this first. Slacker got hit in the head by a plane door and the paramedics offered him a catheter and he refused to have it. The person who put Pop Rocks on her mommy parts is so dumb.

Steve said he had to get a catheter one time after surgery, and it was awful. He says the woman is weird for using Pop Rocks because it’s like putting Alka-Seltzer down there….  

How did you get hurt doing the deed?

Signed,
Intern Nikki

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OPP: Separate Beds
Yi!

Today’s OPP is from Beth:

Yi guys! I've slept in the same bed as my husband for the whole three years that we've
been married and have never considered any other arrangement. But, lately, David has been falling asleep in the guest room and says that he actually sleeps better when he sleeps by himself. I'm very hurt by this and can't imagine us sleeping separately for the rest of our marriage. He says he loves me a ton, but I'm worried that he doesn't love me as much as he thinks he does if he doesn't want to sleep next to me. Does anyone else have this arrangement with their partner? Do they like it or has it ruined their marriage?
Beth
 
Slacker tells Steve that he doesn’t think Steve likes sleeping next to someone and that’s why he isn’t married. He says that there are stats out there that say sleeping in separate beds is actually good for a marriage. He brings up the point that relations happen in the spouses’ bed and this makes the relations weird. If you’re not in the same room then it is too easy to not have relations. Slacker doesn’t think he is cheating because sleeping in a separate bed would be too obvious and it’s not like he is sneaking the other woman in the room. They’re not 15. Slacker says that if his wife is sick and stuffy then he would sleep in a separate room. But that’s the only reason he would. He thinks this is going to chip away at their marriage.

Steve said he does like to sleep alone. He thinks the snoring and rolling around in bed is maybe the problem. He thinks it may be the wife and her sleeping habits that are pushing him away. What if she doesn’t shave her legs and they’re fury? He questions if the husband is cheating.

What should Beth do?

Signed,
Intern Nikki

(Photo Courtesy Flickr.com)
 
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Naughty List
Yi!
We have all done something to land us on the naughty list. Did you steal money from someone? Perhaps you spit in someone's food? A man in an Illinois bar was choking and a man came to help him, but took the man’s cash out of the wallet and walked away. There is even an evil check list that definitely will determine if you’re going to hell:
  1. Looked at X rated stuff online
  2. Kissed someone you shouldn’t have
  3. Done illegal drugs
  4. Spit in someone’s drink
  5. Made a prank phone call
  6. Walk of shame
  7. You hate kids
  8. Been arrested
  9. Choose your life over the lives of 100,000 people
  10. Kill for a million dollars
  11. Clerk gave back more change and you kept it
  12. Blamed passing gas on someone else
  13. Made someone cry
  14. Stole something
  15. Eye for an Eye
Slacker says he doesn’t believe in heaven or hell. So that means he can do whatever he wants. Slacker says it is messed up that people are going out to dog parks and putting poison meat balls out for the dogs to eat. They’re going to hell for sure. By failing the check list Slacker is definitely going to hell. He has more than half of the checklist down. He admits he is evil.

Steve says the guy that stole did a good deed by leaving the wallet. If he took the wallet it would be way more annoying.  It worth $50 to get all you’re the credit cards back? The ID? He thinks yes. Steve is definitely going to hell because he has done all of the checklist, but 3 of them.

What did you do to land yourself on the naughty list?

I have done all of the check list besides one thing and even more than that.  I am so going to hell. Meet you there!

Signed,
Intern Nikki

(Photo Flickr.com)

 
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Back in My Day
Yi!

Back in our day we played outside-not online, mom let us drive on her lap on the highway, and dad threw us in the pool to teach us how to swim.

Slacker says parenting now is not even in the wheel house of parenting when they were kids. He remembers when he learned how to ride a bike his parents just put him on the bike without training wheels and if he fell or anything they would just try it the next week. He remembers driving down the highway with his dad on his lap and they weren’t wearing a seat belt. Slacker said he was reading the warning label on a toaster and someone must have put the toaster in a sink at some point because they warning label read: Do Not Put in Water. Are people stupid? Back in the day if he had to tell his friend something he would drive to a gas station and use the phone booth to call people. He also mentions that the planes had smoking sections. So gross!

Steve says when he was a kid he was climbing all over the seats and playing while driving. He also mentions that when they were kids they got to ride in the bed of pickup trucks. Steve said that back in the day there were no warning labels on anything. Back in the day on the school bus people could hang out in the aisle of the bus and walk around.

What did you do back in your day that you couldn’t get away with today?

My mom would let us jump from the roof of our house onto our trampoline. It was awesome!

Signed,
Intern Nikki

(Photo courtesy Flickr.com)
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Foot in Mouth
Yi!

Ray Cote was a school board president for a New York school district. He didn’t to realize his mic was on and said: "This one here, chubby wubby, she gets fatter and fatter every meeting.'' The meeting was streamed live on the school district's website. He resigned the next day.

Slacker says he wanted to put his foot I his mouth. He went out with some friends. They were all reminiscing about old times and talked trash about everyone. One person was gossiping about another and a person at the bar knew who they were talking about. So the bartender ended up being best friends with that person and told them they were all talking crap. Another example from Slacker was when he was doing appearances at bars. This is when people’s tongues were always pierced. And they couldn’t talk. A person came up to him with a lisp and he accused her of her tongue piercing.  It was awful.

Steve laughs at this man because he is an idiot. And makes fun of Slacker very badly.

Have you ever wanted to stick you foot in your mouth?

Signed,
Intern Nikki

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OPP: Boss Kissed Me
Yi! Today's OPP is from Courtney:

Yi! I recently started a new job and am attracted to my manager. We've been flirting for three or four weeks. He kissed me in the elevator last week. It wasn't a real passionate kiss, but it was still a kiss. Office gossip says he's separated from his wife. My best friend says my boss may use me. My cousin says I should GO FOR IT. Do office romances ever work? Should I pursue this?
Courtney

Slacker says never get romantically involved at work. He wants Courtney to quit. He doesn’t want her to go for the boss. He had an office romance before. He was the boss man. He never tries to act impulsively and that incident was very impulsive for him. It was very bad. It became that thing where the girl asked for weekends off and all this other crap. He says she doesn’t know if he is actually separated from his wife which is the messed up part.

Steve says unless he’s a subordinate, she should go for it if there’s HR or something. He could see where this is gonna head. Steve also has had an office romance and when it went south she still tried to get everyone to hate him. She even told everyone his tactics in bed. It was awful.

Should she go for it? Do office romances ever work?

I am not sure if office romances ever workout. I think someone always gets hurt and one always leaves. It is a very sticky situation especially because he still has a wife… I say don’t do it.

Signed,
Intern Nikki

(Photo Courtesy: freedigitalphotos.net)
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Catfight
Yi!

There is only one thing sensible to do when another woman talks crap about you on Facebook. You go to her house and punch her in the head. Yes, we are talking cat fights.

A Florida woman beat up another woman who made negative comments about her on the internet. The angry gal showed up the victim’s home and punched her in the head. She knew she was going to end up in jail but told the cops she should have gone after the woman 9 months ago when she began talking smack.
 
Slacker mentions the girls in a video from YouTube who got into a fight and a shovel got involved. You can see in the video how one girl just hits the other one so hard with the shovel. Both girls got disorderly conduct. The best cat fight he ever saw was back in the day when one girl just grabbed the others hair. When they grab the hair it is on. He doesn’t know why he finds it so interesting that girls use each other’s hair to latch onto a person.

Steve agrees with Slacker about the hair. He thinks that women that fight like that are crazy.
What crazy cat fight did you get into?

In junior high school I was getting bullied by these group f girls. One day I was tired of it and just wailed on this girl. I was never bullied again.

Signed,
Intern Nikki

(Photo courtesy Flickr.com)
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Lucky
YI!

A 1-year-old in Minneapolis fell 11-stories from an apartment building and survived. The boy fell out of a window and was rushed to a local hospital. The boy suffered severe injuries and is currently in critical but stable condition. Police are investigating the incident.
 
Slacker doesn’t like the fact that Steve can claim Minneapolis. He says that when he was younger he lived near a big city but doesn’t claim he is from there! He thinks its crazy how babies are so indestructible. Slacker claims they are just all cartilage, so pliable to anything!  
 
Steve claims it wasn’t that far, so he can claim it! He says it’s just a little bit of ways like two and a half hours so its fair game! He thinks the babies was just like octopi, they are bendable and can bounce back from anything.
 
What is your unbelievable story? Unbelievable
 
Signed,
Intern Tyler


 
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