Being a waiter or waitress is a tough job, being on your feet all day and living off of tips. But imagine waiting on a celebrity. A list has come out with the best and worst celebrity tippers. Marky Mark ranks at the top while Lea Michelle…not so much.
Personally Slacker and Steve are shocked that Mark Wahlberg and Matt Damon are good tippers. But what they really want to know is what celebrities you have waited on, and how it went? One of two ways: great tips and awesome experience or bad tips and rude behavior.
Who have you waited on, and what was your experience?
Ever been ratted out by your kid? He ran a red light, and as soon as they got home his son told mom right away!
Slacker, though a co-worker was a clown and happened to be at an event with that particular co-worker and his kid. Slacker’s kid say’s “he doesn’t look like a clown”. But what Slacker and Steve really want to know if some kid has ratted you out of an affair.
She was at a company event where there was a bachelor auction. She bid on a few men, and won a date with the biggest client. Her boss wants her to go on a date with the client to seal the deal. Her boyfriend is upset and however believes that if she takes the potential client out that she is cheating.
Slacker is for the dinner proportion, but against sealing the deal…if you know what I mean. Steve is encouraging whatever may happen, but also understands where the boyfriend is coming from, regardless Chloe has needs.
What do you think?
I don’t think that Chloe should have necessarily should have been bidding, but it happened and she won. She should go on the “date”, but I don’t know if whether or not her boyfriend’s feelings are validated just yet. This all depends on if the dinner is for personal needs or business needs.
Her brother-in-law recently lost a lot of weight and is flirting with him to boost his confidence. She also used to be overweight and says that it helps when someone encourages you. Her husband is not happy this and thinks that both of them are crossing a line, whether she is trying to help or not.
Slacker and Steve can see both sides of this great mate debate, but also think that something fishy could happen. Slacker doesn’t see why she feels obligated to be the brother-in-law’s personal cheer leader. Steve sees the wife’s point of view but thinks that she might have an ulterior motive.
Whose side are you on?
I don’t think that it is her place to boost her brother-in-laws confidence. I believe that her heart is in the right place, but her relationship with the brother-in-law has developed into something different than what it should be.
A British poll of more than 2,000 women done by a health supplement company found that one in four women said she’s rather be a man.
Some Survey Results...
15 percent of the women polled said when they battle mood swings they want to be male.
9 percent said they think men have it easier physically.
55 percent admitted they were not at their happiest stage of life.
87 percent said never felt at ease with the physical changes to their body during puberty.
12 percent said they were unprepared for pregnancy.
But overall, the survey found that women still love being women.
Slacker said that women think they’re the only ones who go through changes, especially during pregnancy, but he doesn’t think that that’s entirely true… men definitely go through changes (albeit less visible) and in the end, the women have to nurture the baby but the man is gonna spend the rest of his life paying for it. Although the Slacker was embarrassed by it, Steve had no problem with not being able to control it… especially in public. He said he was actually happy and thankful if it were to happen in public.
Would you ever want to be the opposite sex? Why?
Overall I’m pretty happy with being a girl. I don’t really care about the whole “oh, men have it easier physically blah blah blah” and “women have it easier because they’ve got the good ;) to get what they want yada yada yada…” Basically, I’ll stick with being a woman; however, it would be nice to experience, just for one day, the ability to inappropriately fix myself in public just because I can.
A woman from Russia ended up dumping her fiancé after she saw his image on Google Maps with his former love. Google, the new relationship killer… dun dun dun.
Steve claims that nothing comes up when you Google Steve’s name.
What dirt have you gotten on your significant other via the internet?
Just for fun I Google searched a few of my family members and not a whole lot comes up. There is a smashing photo of a mug shot of a woman who has the same name of my mom. But, one of my friends, however, has a lot of results of Google! I can’t say that I’m surprised because her name is pretty exotic and she was a star athlete in high school (and now college) so a lot of her results have to do with her stats and sports profile… nothing good though ;)
“Yi guys! I hooked up with a guy a few months ago and it never turned into anything. Now, this SAME guy is dating my best friend. She’s happy and head over heels for him and I don’t want to ruin this for her. Should I tell my friend that I hooked up with her boyfriend a few months ago or should I just keep my mouth shut to avoid a confrontation?
Slacker asked- if they were in this situation- would they want to know if their friend once slept with their significant other before they were ever seriously involved. Both of them decided that it would be better to be told because it was one night and was before they became a “thing”. Why not tell?
Should Jasmine tell her friend? Who should tell?
I’ve never been in this situation but I feel that she should tell her friend because a) it was before her hook up “got the girl” (her BFF) and b) if her BFF were to randomly find out in some nonspecific way would definitely piss her off. Situations like these always seem to come down to the strength of the friendship. Friendships are a different being all their own, but in the end you should be able to tell you BFFs anything. Certainly don’t expect them to always be happy with what you tell them, but that’s the basic idea.
Fate Update by Slacker And Steve,posted Feb 27 2013 4:02PM
Fate update: Seth gave us permission to tell his wife that he plans to gamble the funds for their future child. Slacker is against because of the possible consequences of airing this out life, but Steve has been pushing it.
We’ve got Seth’s wife on the phone and are about to tell her the news…
Slacker was obviously nervous when telling Hannah, Seth’s wife, the news and she was clearly shocked. Slacker told Hannah to hang tight while Lil-D tried to get Seth on the phone. Steve still believes that this had to be done.
It was definitely nerve-wracking listening as Slacker told Hannah what her husband is doing … At first Hannah was furious with Seth when he joined her on air, BUT Seth told her that he won! She’s gonna be a mother!
An unhappy grandpa wrote to Dear Abby complaining that his granddaughters have started giving him the cold shoulder. Turns out, his granddaughters are uncomfortable with the way he rubs their shoulders and neck as he has done since they were young. He thinks he’s being grandfatherly, but they obviously disagree.
Steve thinks that as the child gets older rubbing should turn into hugging. Slacker doesn’t think it’s that abnormal because he has children and understands that as a parent he longs for that physical connection no matter how old. He also says touching or rubbing can be non-sensual, because physical attention equals affection.
Is gramps bein’ a creeper?
I have a problem with someone touching me in the first place (essentially, don’t get in my bubble) and that doesn’t change when it comes to family members- you should see when my mom tries to hug me; it rarely works out in her favor (haha). However, I don’t think he’s being creepy (it might be a little inappropriate due to their age perhaps)- especially if he says that he feels his attentiveness comes from his grandfatherly heart- but I think his granddaughters should tell him. It’s as simple as that.
One man was recently added to the Guinness Book of World Records for one of the weirdest and most disgusting things you've ever heard. A New Jersey dude got busted with 100 bags of heroine stuffed up his butt. It's the most ever found and it got him into the Guinness Book of World records. Do you have a personal record of some sort?
Slacker is convinced he is the best powder washer in the entire world; his garage is so clean you can eat dinner off of it. Steve believes he is the best parker in the world, having the ability to park any car in any position.
(photo courtesy of google.com)
Desperate times come to desperate measures. People have started being really frugal with daily amenities...including reusing teabags, gift unwrapping very carefully to reuse next year, asking for pencils at IKEA and taking toilet paper from public restrooms!
“The Newstead family, of London, may be the thriftiest family in the world. They recycle tea bags three times per week, re-use tin foil and sandwich bags and ration toilet paper. Keely Newstead says, “There is so much free stuff out there we might as well help ourselves. It saves us a fortune. The kids love it. It is like a game. Always look out for spare toilet rolls in public toilets. There’s often one on the top of the tank so put it in your bag. And ration loo paper at home – six sheets are enough per visit! We haven’t bought a pen or pencil in years. Ikea give away free pencils and even tape measures and pens. When my kids are opening birthday or Christmas presents, I never let them rip open the wrapping paper – I make them take it off carefully so I can use it again. I got complimentary drinks in a restaurant after complaining about the food. Then when I got home I wrote to the head office and got vouchers.''
A Wichita, Kansas woman is ok after becoming trapped in a dumpster while dumpster diving. She was searching for metal when the trash truck picked up the dumpster and dumped it into the truck. The woman's sister arrived and prevented the driver from compacting.”
Her fiancé has stepped up to the plate to help raise her child...but he absolutely refuses to take care of the child in one way. He feels uncomfortable changing and bathing her!
“ Yi! My boyfriend and I got engaged in December. He moved in with me and my one-year-old daughter from a previous relationship last month. Everything is going well. He loves my daughter and our relationship is stronger than ever, but I have one issue. He refuses to help with bathing and changing my daughter's diapers.
He will play with her, put her to bed and take her to daycare, but he will not help with the diapers! I find it very frustrating! He says he feels uncomfortable changing her diaper because she is a little girl and she is not biologically his. Is this just his way to get out of helping with the dirtier jobs or is this pretty normal? I don't want to fight about this, but I'm not sure if I believe his reasons. Please help! –Wendy”
Slacker is strongly against Wendy in this situation, he believes that if things went south down the road that she could turn around and nail federal charges on him….Steve agrees with him.
You did WHAT for money?! Would you let a complete stranger lick your belly button...for $1,500?!? That offer was made to someone we know. Steve admitted he received money to make out with a female dog. I’m pretty sure everyone needs to donate plasma someday; Slacker said he did it a few times when times were tough. And Steve offered $200 to Lil Dave if he licked Slackers bellybutton!
What weird things have you done for money?
(photos courtesy of kootation.com)
Slacker received a gift from a friend a year ago, the certificate expires soon. The sender knows its going to expire soon, so he asked Slacker for it back, to use it!
Slacker thinks his friend is completely out of line and disrespectful to ask for a gift back like that. He should be able to do what he wants with the gift. (He threatened to give it to a homeless person lol)
Steve is really fstubborn to Slacker just going and useing the certificate and he thinks Slacker should just give it back if he's not going to use it.
What would you do in this situation? Is it justified?
(Photo courtesy of freedigitialphotos.net)
2,500 People a Year Go to the Emergency Room for Injuries from Shaving… Down There! According to a new study by the University of California, San Francisco, about 2,500 people a year go to the emergency room after injuring themselves while shaving… THEIR GENITALS. That's five times as many as injured themselves in 2002. 3% of all genital and urinary tract injuries are caused by attempts to groom down there.
his topic made the guys cringe a bit, Slacker pondered why boy bikes aren’t like girl bikes, why there’s no bar on guy bikes to keep from hurting themselves.
Personally I racked myself on my mountain bike when I was 15 and fell off out of pain and whimpering.
What kind of injuries has been inflicted upon your junk?
(Photos courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net)
In todays OPP we have a woman who lent her friend some money for rent....instead her friend used it to terminiate a pregnancy. The woman is really upset with her friend on religious beliefs that she terminiated a preganancy.
Kristen lent some money to her friend for what she thought was rent. Turns out, her friend used the money to terminate her pregnancy. Kristen doesn’t think abortion is right and is upset her money was used for that purpose.
Slacker thinks Kristen should just let it go and move on. She seems too hung up on the fact that she used it to terminate a pregnancy instead of the original purpose. She just wants to get her money back and end her relationship with her friend.
Toilet by Slacker And Steve,posted Feb 19 2013 3:41PM
Over 400,000 people a year are injured while on or by a toilet!
Slacker and Steve, both loved to talk about odd toilet names and was completely grossed out by a few of the people they took on air. Slacker specifically recalled his repair man goof when he tried to take apart a toilet and put it together again. He now appreciates how difficult they are to repair and have someone else fix it.
What bad incidents do you have with toilets?
(photo courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net)
A 63-year-old woman suffers from a rare condition which makes her have musical hallucinations. She has had the 50's tune "How much is that doggie in the window" stuck in her head for THREE years. She has been told that there is no cure and she will be stuck with it for life.
Slacker and Steve also have some songs that are a cause of earworm for them. Next time you see Slacker make sure to sing “Rick Roll, Never Gonna Give You Up” and Steve loves “The Edge of Seventeen (Just like the White Wing Dove).
What song always gets stuck in your head?
The song that always gets stuck in my head is “Yellow Submarine”.
We all have those sights that we have seen, but wish that we never did! Walking in on your parents, catching your co-worker naked, finding your roommate’s adult toys. What have you seen that you wish you could un-see?
Slacker has witnessed his friend popping pimples on their significant others back in a public place. Steve on the other hand savors ever sight he sees, good or bad.
What have you seen that you wish you never had?
One day I was out to lunch with my Grandma, and we decided to go visit my Great Grandma. Well my Grandma’s sister, was actually in the process of bathing my Great Grandma. Needless to say it was an awkward situation.
Lacey is a single mom to an 8 year-old boy, and has been single since her son was just a baby. She hasn’t done much dating since work and taking care of her son requires most of her time. However her son’s teacher asker he out, although he is attractive and is interested in going on a date with him. However she is worried that it will be an extremely awkward situation. Is it okay to accept the date? Is it unfair to her son? And what happens if things don’t work out, how will it affect her son?
Slacker thinks it’s not a good idea in general. Steve on the other hand thinks that it isn’t a bad idea for Lacey, but he is worried how her son will take it and be affected by it.
What advice do you have for her?
I think that Lacey should wait till her son doesn’t have him as a teacher any more. The school year is almost over, but starting a relationship with her son’s teacher could lead to some embarrassment for her kid.
(photo courtesy of freedigitalphtos.net)
Fate by Slacker And Steve,posted Feb 18 2013 3:35PM
Seth and his wife have been trying for years to have a baby. They have started saving money for in vitro fertilization, but due to financial circumstances they have only been able to save a little more than half of what it costs. Seth is going to Vegas soon and has decided to let fate decide. His wife doesn’t know but he is going to take the money that they have saved and putting it on red (her favorite color). He feels like this is the right thing to do.
Both Slacker and Steve and had fate work in their favor. In a rush for dinner Steve placed all he had out on the table and ended up winning $5,000. Slacker ended up being in the right place at the right time and getting a job offer!
When has fate worked out for you?
I went to a Nuggets game one year for my birthday and brought some friends, and it just so happened that we sat behind a guy who had extra tickets to go in the back after the game and do a small meet and greet with some of the players.
Ambien by Slacker And Steve,posted Feb 15 2013 5:33PM
Ambien! We all hear those crazy stories of people on ambient. It’s usually used as a sleep aid but when taken with other things or not for sleeping, things can get a bit crazy. Slacker said he took it when he was injured along with muscle relaxers and alcohol! He said he would never take it along with something else ever again.
What kind of crazy things have you done while on ambien?
In today’s OPP, a woman has been eyeing a guy in her apartment complex and she is debating on leaving a note on his car. She came on the air and Slacker and Steve both said that she should do it but Slacker suggested she make sure the he is in her ‘league’.
She is unsure if hes single and has no idea where his apartment is so she wants to give it a shot.
Her main concern is coming off as creepy and I think as long as she’s not active stalking him I’d give it a shot!
What advice do you have for her? Have a story similar to hers?
Nestle Prepared Foods Company issued a recall for Lean Cuisine ravioli because people were finding tiny shards of glass in their food! They believe all the dangerous packages have already been sold.
Recall products have codes 2311587812 and 2312587812 and a "best before" date of December 2013.
Slacker said he found plastic and bandaids in food that’s he has eaten. He also mentioned a subway shop in Ontario Canada accidentally served glass in their sandwiches. Steve found a vegetable in his food once.
Amber’s boyfriend is planning to propose tonight with a princess cut diamond ring. But she HATES princess cut diamond rings and is planning to reject the proposal. Her mom says that she is shallow while her best friend say that she isn’t and has every right to say NO because she’s the one, who has to wear the ring. Is she shallow or not? Can she say yes to the proposal but no to the ring? Is an ugly engagement ring grounds for a proposal rejection?
Slacker and Steve think that if she is willing to turn down an engagement because she doesn’t like the ring, then it probably won’t work out. They think that she is being shallow, if you don’t like the ring you can discuss a different cut at a different time and place.
What do you think?
I think she is being rude, her boyfriend who clearly wants to spend the rest of his life with this women, purchased a ring that he thinks that she would like. An engagement isn’t about the ring it is about spending the rest of your life with the person you love. I think that she is being silly if she turns down the engagement, because of the ring that’s not what an engagement is about and the fact that she is even thinking about saying no because of the shape of the ring, clearly he deserves better.
How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the ice. If you were a booger I'd pick you first. Baby, if you were words on a page, you'd be what they call FINE PRINT! Elayne J. Kahn’s book, 1,001 More Ways to Reveal Your Personality claims that how you flirt reveals your personality.
Steve best pick up line is “Wanna drive me home?” enough is said there.
What is your best pick up line?
My all time favorite is “do you like bacon…yes…wanna strip?”
Reed made V-Day reservations over a month ago for him and his girlfriend at a quaint sushi restaurant. The last time he went there it was with his ex girlfriend, and the other night saw on his ex’s Facebook that she would also be going there for Valentine’s Day with her new boyfriend. There is no way to get reservations at a different place and if they do go he is sure to run into his ex and receive some snide comments about bringing his girlfriend to the same place he brought his ex.
Slacker doesn’t think that Reed should change his favorite sushi restaurant, it’s clearly also his ex’s favorite too; it might be tainted because of the ex, but why change your favorite sushi place just because you also at there with an ex. Steve thinks that Reed’s girlfriend will think that’s it’s a “used” date and shouldn’t go.
What should he do?
Personally I think that if Reed is really worried about what could happen if they do go, that they should just make sushi at home. Hey, and if the sushi doesn’t turn out they could always order pizza. The sushi date should probably be rescheduled for a later date. He also should be friends with his ex on Facebook.
Pete and Tanya are married. Tanya has an 11 year old daughter, from before they were married. Pete is basically Emma’s father and is worried that Tanya is allowing her to dress provocatively and gives her too much “leash”. He says that Emma is pretty and if they don’t start sheltering her now, it will lead to much bigger problems down the road. Tanya just wants her daughter to live a normal life and being pretty is part of it.
Slacker believes that Pete’s heart is in the right place, although both Slacker and Steve understand that ultimately it is Tanya’s decision. Slacker and Steve understand Pete and think that he is doing what is right, especially with the future in mind.
Whose side are you on?
Tanya’s concerns are valid, but being pretty and dressing older than your age shouldn’t make you popular, especially if she is generous and funny. Kids these days are growing up way too fast! I think Pete is right wanting to slow Emma’s roll, she is 11 and should be acting and behaving like an 11 year old, and not someone older
Passing knowledge and life lessons on to your kids is an important part of parenting. Mothers always have the best advice so we’ve compiled a list of 20 things every mom should tell their sons… Here are a few:
“1. You will set the tone for the sexual relationship, so don’t take something away from her that you can’t give back.
2. Play a sport. It will teach you how to win honorably, lose gracefully, respect authority, work with others, manage your time, and stay out of trouble. And maybe even throw or catch.
3. Use careful aim when you pee. Somebody’s got to clean that up, you know.
4. Save money when you’re young because you’ll need it someday.
5. Allow me to introduce you to the dishwasher, oven, washing machine, iron, vacuum, mop and broom. Now please go use them.
6. Pray and be a spiritual leader.
7. Don’t ever be a bully and don’t ever start a fight, but if some idiot clocks you, please defend yourself.
8. Your knowledge and education is something that nobody can take away from you.
9. Treat women kindly. Forever is a long time to live alone and it’s even longer to live with somebody who hates your guts.
10. Take pride in your appearance.
11. Be strong and tender at the same time.
12. Remember to call your mother because I might be missing you.”
Slacker wished his mom had introduced him to the dishwasher and washing machine because he is completely useless in the cleaning department. Steve agreed with #2- as did Slacker who has a son- because team sports teach people a lot about themselves.
Is anything missing? What should moms tell their sons on a day to day basis?
My personal favorite is #7, but I also highly agree with #1 and #11 because there’s no shame in a man acting like a human being and not just a man… don’t forget that you’re human too and you’re not entirely defined by your gender. If I’m ever a mother of a son I can’t wait to shower with him advice like this because it’ll help him become a well-rounded, decent individual who will, I’m sure, have the coolest mom ever.
Every relationship faces obstacles and you either get through them and become a stronger couple, or you break up because it’s too much to handle. Slacker and Steve-being the “degenerate gamblers” they are- wanted to guess whether or not you weathered the storm or
called it quits.
Steve smoked Slacker when it came to guessing the outcome of each obstacle and Steve figured this because he’s on the “outside looking in”- because people in relationships are too much in the thick of it all that they don’t know what or who they are anymore.
What obstacles have you faced in your relationships?
I haven’t faced a ton of relationship obstacles- maybe my relationships are perfect… just kidding- but I do know what would break my relationship: any person who cheats, lacks a proper understanding of general hygiene, has every album released by Creed, hates my cat… the usual, I guess ;)
I'm 6 months pregnant and my husband just told me that he's met someone else and wants a divorce. Beyond being heartbroken I'm really terrified that I won't be able to take care of the baby on my own. Although my mom lives in town she's got Alzheimer's so, obviously, she's not going to be a support system for me. I have lots of friends but how much of me leaning on them can they take? I'm terrified and feel completely alone and needed to share.
Both Slacker and Steve were flabbergasted by Erin’s story and figured that when taking calls they should be more productive than simply bash the husband and instead, get this woman some sound advice in such a trying time.
What advice do you have for Erin?
Personally for me, there are no words when it comes to this situation… it’s entirely unfathomable. I would say that she should certainly go through every legal action and get what she deserves regarding financial support and what not, but apart from that she needs to remember that in the end she will win. Not only because she turned out to be the better human being, but because she will have this child to love and care for and her ex-husband will forever live in regret. It hurts now, but single motherhood isn’t impossible. My mom raised my sister and I as a single parent and I couldn’t have asked for anything more in a parent.
Get ready for the most romantic story ever (just in time for Valentine’s Day)… For 46 years of marriage a husband sent his wife a bouquet of flowers every year on Valentine’s Day. The woman’s husband got sick and passed away; however, even though the husband is no longer with her she still receives a bouquet on V-Day per her husband’s request to the florist. Now when she receives the bouquet the card always reads “my love for you is eternal.” Yeah, beat that!
Steve thinks it’s creepy. Not only are they flowers “from the grave” but he brought up the possibility of the wife finding a new significant other… awwkwaaardd. Slacker, the romantic, loved the story because this woman who just lost the love of her life will still get the flowers she always looked forward to.
What’s the most romantic thing that has ever happened to you?
I don’t necessarily have any stories of romance worth noting, but my sister and her boyfriend are a giant pile of love. Having asked her what her plans for Valentine’s Day are (mine being eating Oreos alone… no, the TV will be there too) I now know that they will most likely be staying in and cooking a nice dinner for each other BUUUUTT they’re gonna make the same V-Day dinner they made each other two years ago. Cute, right?
Crashers by Slacker And Steve,posted Feb 12 2013 6:16PM
Crashing a wedding is fun, but crashing the Super Bowl or the Grammys is crazy. Vitalli Sediuk crashed the Grammys and interrupted Adel's award acceptance!
Vitalli Sediuk crashed the Grammys and then was jailed. A TV presenter on Ukraine's 1+1, he grabbed headlines last year when he tried to kiss Will Smith at the Moscow premiere of Men in Black 3. The Hollywood Reporter claims Vitalli walked into the Grammys alongside Katy Perry and then sat behind Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel. He walked on stage as Adele accepted her award and was charged with trespassing when he walked off.
Slacker said he’s too afraid of repercussions (weenie) to go through with crashing anything…
What kind of events have you crashed and what did you do?!
A 18-year-old babysitter was arrested after giving the 9-year-old boy she was watching, hickeys!
18-YEAR-OLD BABYSITTER PUT HICKEYS ALL OVER A 9-YEAR-OLD BOY
An 18-year-old Florida gal is in trouble with the law after hickey marks showed up all over the neck of a 9-year-old boy she was babysitting.
The boy got up to go into her room to lay down with her while she was staying at the house as a sitter. He told cops she bit him twice on the neck.
She then had the boy bite her twice in the abdomen where they found marks. She was tossed in jail for child abuse.
If you thought one of your friends was doing something illegal but you didn’t have any proof, would you turn them in? What if kids were involved?
“Yi! I moved out-of-state but I still listen to you online and I have an OPP I need help with.
My 4-year-old daughter made a friend down the street so I scheduled a few play dates with the girl’s mom. I haven’t really met any other moms that I’ve clicked with the way I have with her. We actually chat, laugh and have a good time while the girls play, but last week she told me something I am not okay with. She told me she smokes pot pretty regularly. I’ll admit, I enjoy a glass of wine every now and then to take the edge off, but this woman runs a daycare out of her house! I know that as a mom I would want to know if the person watching my daughter did drugs. I don’t know what to do. She didn’t say anything about doing it while the kids are there and she’s really nice and I don’t want to get her in trouble. Should I speak up or just pretend like she never said it?”
Slacker believes no one would be able to be high around kids especially when a daycare starts at 7am.
What kind of advice do you have for her?
(photo courtesy of freegdigitalphotos.net)
Have you ever slipped and fall on the ice only to have everything go flying in every direction? Passed gas in the elevator right before someone got into the same car? De-pantsed? Barfed in an alley after a late night?
We have all have had super embarrassing moments and sometimes we can’t help it.
25 MOST EMBARRASSING THINGS IN THE WORLD
CollegeHumor.com asked people to tell them what are the most embarrassing things in the world, and after almost 2 million votes, the results are in:
25. Trying to start a chant and no one else joins in
24. Accidentally spitting in someone's face while talking
23. Not being invited to a party all of your friends are going to
22. Having someone walk in on you in the bathroom
21. Sweating through your shorts
20. Forgetting the name of a person you've met more than once
19. Having your bathing suit come off in public
18. Having the ass of your pants rip in public
17. At a friend's house, the toilet does something weird that is not your fault, but you are torn between telling them and just letting them find out
16. Mistaking a fat lady for a pregnant lady
15. Saying something bad about someone who overhears
14. Getting pantsed
13. Farting in an empty elevator and then someone coming on a second later
12. Puking in public
11. Realizing at the register that you do not have enough money on your person to pay
10. Having a booger you're not aware of
9. Accidentally touching a naked person in a gym locker room
8. Mistaking someone for the opposite gender
7. Waving to someone who wasn't actually waving at you
6. Attempting to join in a conversation, not being heard, saying what you said again, realizing they totally heard you the first time
5. Showing someone a picture on your phone and they scroll without permission and see a naked picture of you
4. Clogging the toilet at a friend's house
3. Watching a sex scene with your parents
2. Catching someone else masturbating
1. Parents catching you masturbating
Divorce rates are at an all time high and a certain professor thinks he has the answer to it…Ecstasy. He says that married couples should have the right to partake in Ecstasy legally to help their union. He says that the internet is killing romance, and dating is disposable so this, even though it’s very radical, could be the answer.
Slacker has never done a drug a day in his life. Steve has experimented enough for the two of them. Collectively they agree that if the marriage is over, Ecstasy isn’t going to save it no matter what. Steve has tried it and said it was a good time but says that relations without it will never be the same if you don’t enjoy it without the drug. It heightens all of your senses so if you can’t enjoy relations sober then you will only ever be able to have relations on it which isn’t a good thing. Slacker’s take on it is that if you already don’t want to be touched by your partner, then you’re not going to happy about being touched by someone you don’t want touching you when your senses are heightened. Slacker tried a less unorthodox approach to save his first marriage, they went to marriage counseling. The therapist, who should have “milked” them for a certain amount of sessions, realized how much they hated each other and told them to move on immediately.
What extreme measures would you take to improve or save your marriage?
I think that in a relationship if you can’t enjoy each other’s company without being in bed, you’re probably better off away from one another. I don’t think it’s a bad idea to experiment recreationally, but drugs are not an answer to any marital problems whatsoever. Also, I think that this “professor” should go under review at whatever school he teaches at.
Psycho Ex by Slacker And Steve,posted Feb 11 2013 5:28PM
Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. Ain’t that the truth! A woman from Florida was arrested recently for breaking in to her ex-fiance’s house and beating up his new girlfriend while they were in bed. The girl broke in around 5:30 am and started attacking the girl by hitting, scratching, pulling her hair and even tried strangling her!
Slacker and Steve are no stranger to psycho exes. Slacker thinks that Steve is borderlining on being a psycho ex. One of Steve’s exes hacked his email and sent some emails to a lot of his contacts. What she said in the emails, he won’t reveal but did say that it pretty much ruined lives. Steve admitted that he drives by her house once in a while because of the dumpster that people throw good stuff away in. Slacker had a crazy ex when he worked at the mall when he was a young buck. He was walking out of the mall to his car when he saw his ex parked by next to his car with all her windows down, blaring some sad song. She had her head in her hands crying while listening to the song. I wonder if either of these girls listen to this show…
What crazy psychotic things have your exes done?
I’ve never actually followed through with any of the psycho things that I’ve wanted to do to an ex. But I know what it feels like to want to do crazy stuff. By best friend and I drove by me exes house in the middle of the night and she offered to “go #2” on his car. I didn’t let her because I thought it was gross but the idea of him being so grossed out in the morning when he got in his car to go to work made me feel better. I’m a terrible person. A more recent ex of mine shows up to the bar that I hang out at. I don’t think it’s psycho, but I do think it’s weird.
Erica is having relationship problems…with her older married boyfriend. Here is her email…
Yi guys! I have been having an affair with a married man. I know it's wrong but the chemistry between us is amazing and the relations are incredible. Now, he's offering to pay my rent on an apartment that's near his work so he can see me more often. I'm not sure I want to get that serious because he's quite a bit older than me and I like my freedom. He also keeps saying he's going to leave his wife and continues to gift me with jewelry, vacations and other great things. Am I a fool to believe this is going to last? My best friend says I'm being used while my sister says I should enjoy the 'perks' while I can? What do you think?
Slacker and Steve receive emails all the time asking for help like this and still try to keep an open mind every time one comes in. Steve says that Erica should take the emotion out of it and just keep things going the way they are now. All the problems in a relationship start when people stop thinking logically. He says they should just take it for what it is right now and no one will get hurt. Slacker, on the other hand, says that this can’t end well no matter what happens. Even if he did leave his wife to be with her, she is always gonna wonder if there’s another woman when he says he has to work late or something. Plus, if she accepted the apartment now, she’s kind of obligated to be on his schedule. Slacker used this as a scenario… Say that he tells his wife he’s going to work late one night and wants to be with Erica for relations. But Erica isn’t really in to it that night and says she doesn’t feel like it, he could tell her he doesn’t feel like writing the rent check that month. Tricky, tricky.
What advice do you have for Erica?
Hmm…I’m going to have to agree with Slacker, I don’t see this ending well whatsoever. Sure, the gifts are nice and all but it is very prostitute sounding. If she’s in love with him than she needs to talk about it but she is always going to remember this part of the relationship if things progress. I say, woman up, pay your own way and stop seeing him. He’s a bad guy.
Lil D has been keeping a BIG secret from us and we just found out what it is…He hates breakfast food! We’ll wait for you to catch your breath, as we’re sure you’re just as shocked as we were… It’s gonna be ok, don’t worry. We are in the process of firing him now unless someone can top this and tell us something more appalling than hating breakfast.
Slacker and Steve found this out because Slacker was going to invite Lil D and his wife over for breakfast and he responded with thanks but no thanks. Both are equally convinced that Lil D is not American and probably some sort of alien spy or something. Slacker’s kids even eat eggs and they barely have a sense of taste! Steve can’t even look at Lil D because he is so disturbed by this. They really love Lil D though and don’t want him to have to go so they’re very hopeful that someone can top hating breakfast.
What things do you hate that everyone else loves?
I’m on team S & S. I can’t believe he doesn’t like breakfast food! I remember my parents making breakfast for us as breakfast and dinner and loving it all the time. As far as I’m concerned breakfast is the best meal pretty much ever. Facebook is showing us that lots of people don’t like it though, and other amazing things too. Weird!
Motor Mouth by Slacker And Steve,posted Feb 8 2013 5:40PM
Recently the news has blown up over a woman in court who was going to be let off the hook with a 1k fine and no jail time over a drug possession. She saunters out of the court house and flipped off the judge on her way out. Before she gets chance to leave, the judge has her come back and bumps her fine to 5k and 30 days in jail.
Sometimes you can talk your way out of trouble…but usually, the more you run your mouth the more trouble you end up in.
Slackers told us that his wife likes to run her motor mouth when out at a bar or socializing and he seems to get in trouble for it. He claims he himself has never gotten into an altercation because of his own mouth running.
Let us hear how you or someone else’s motor mouth got you in trouble!
(Photos courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net)
Todays’ OPP is about a 14 year long marriage, high school sweet hearts. He cheated and now she’s unsure on what to do.
“My husband and I were high school sweethearts and we’ve been married for 14 years now. I recently found out that he cheated on me. I was shocked when I found out and I wanted to know why. He said that he still loved me as much as the day we got married and that it was only physical. I believe if you really love someone you cannot mentally or physically bring yourself to cheat. I just need to know, is he lying to me? Does he really still love me? - Stephanie”
Slacker and Steve both want to hear people who are in love or are cheating on someone. Slacker admitted he cheated on someone and it was purely a physical relationship.
What kind of advice do you have for Stephanie?
(Photos courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net)
There’s been a lot of talk of crazy teachers in the news lately and we did some researching on how crazy they really are!
TEACHER FORCED BOY TO EAT TRASH
A 7-year-old California boy was forced by his teacher to eat his lunch out of a garbage can. The boy is a picky eater and he didn't like his cafeteria fajitas so he threw them away. His teacher took the food out of the trash and ordered him to eat it. His parents have since pulled the boy out of the school and enrolled him in a different one. The teacher walked away without punishment.
TEACHER 'POPPED PAINKILLERS, SMOKED POT AND DRANK ALCOHOL WITH HIGH SCHOOL STUDENT UNTIL THEY BOTH PASSED OUT'
A high school teacher in Port St Lucie, Florida, took drugs and drank alcohol with a teen student until they both passed out. The 33-year-old woman took prescription painkillers, smoked marijuana and drank alcohol with a 17-year-old boy until they passed out on a sofa at her home. She was arrested after the teen's father went to the police and admitted the teacher had bought drugs from her son.
TEACHER FORCED MIDDLE SCHOOLERS TO TRACE WORDS INTO SANDPAPER... BLEEDING, ENSUES
A teacher at a middle school in Brandon, Florida made her students rub their fingers on sandpaper. One student said she instructed them to run their fingers on sandpaper five times a day while tracing words they had previously misspelled. He said it made his fingers and several other students' fingers bleed. The teacher has been placed on paid administrative leave while the school investigates the incident.
Steve had his nose traced on a chalk board for misspelling words.
What kind of terrifying teacher stories do you have?
(Photos courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net)
Dropping pounds is never easy, whether you do it the hard way or an easy way. But because people always want it to be easier, some crazy crash diets have been created. Here are a few…
The Master Cleanse – Also known as "the lemonade diet," it involves drinking nothing but a lemonade, maple syrup and cayenne pepper for 7 to 10 days. That’s right. No solid food for 10 days.
The Baby Food Diet – This fad, in which you eat nothing but baby food, is currently popular among Hollywood stars. It’s unknown if they eat the food with those little baby spoons, though.
Ketogenic Enteral Nutrition Diet – This one involves simply walking around with a tube up your nose for 10 days as a liquid mix of protein, fat and water is fed directly into your stomach. Does that sound like fun, or what?
The Cotton Ball Diet – The insanely dangerous practice of eating cotton balls has been used by supermodels to stay thin. FYI … Cotton balls are not food.
Slacker is totally outing Steve about his diets. He says that Steve isn’t disciplined enough to follow these so he should just get a colonic. But he would probably order a pizza to the appointment anyway. Steve actually has lost 70 pounds following a “corporate diet” and looks great. So hopefully he won’t need to try any of these crash diets any time soon.
What crazy diets have you done?
I just read The Master Cleanse online and got hungry. I think it’s crazy that people do this. I don’t believe for one second that it is healthy at all. I could definitely afford to lose some weight but I’d rather do it the gradual healthy way. Plus it probably stays off better when it’s done gradually. I’m totally amazed at the discipline it takes to do these crazy diets though!
Concerts are usually a great time filled with good friends, great music and adult beverages. This mixture of things can lead to a great time you wish you remembered better or a catastrophe that you can’t forget.
Slacker was in a suite at a Van Halen concert when the over 40 people asked him to sit down so they could relax and watch the show. At first he ignored them thinking that was a ridiculous request because they were at a concert for crying out loud! The people asked him again and Slacker continued ignoring them when suddenly one of them dumped their beer on his head! Slacker being a non-fighter retaliated by throwing both his beers on the guy and running. The whole suite of other people got kicked out but he had to leave too. Steve would rather sit at a concert and thinks that Slacker should bring a book to the next one and just relax.
What are your concert catastrophes?
Concerts are probably my favorite thing ever, just so you know. I have been to tons of them and all different types. Because of all the money I’ve spent on going to concerts, I’d have to say that my biggest catastrophe would be drinking too much and not remembering certain shows that I paid good money to see.
Tori is having a dilemma, her sister isn’t a good mother, and going through a custody battle with her brother-in-law. She is worried about what will happen if she speaks up against her sister in court, and sides with her brother-in-law. She obviously believes that her brother-in-law should have custody of the children, but is worried what will happen with the family if she speaks up against her sister in court.
Steve’s opinion lies with the children; he believes that the kids should be with the parent who can give a healthy home environment. Slacker and Steve both agree that Tori’s sister is a bad mother and should be with her former brother-in-law, regardless of what consequences Tori might go though, that being possibly losing contact with her family. Regardless of what happens you must be an advocate for the kids.
What do you think she should do?
I agree with Slacker and Steve, the children should be going to the best home environment. Regardless of what the family thinks they all should have the kids’ best interest at heart.
It’s Girl Scout Cookie time! We want to help out a very determined young Girl Scout by purchasing 100 boxes! That’s right, you have your little Girl Scout call us up and give their best sales pitch. Here’s the tough part, if you’re not interesting or entertaining us, we will slam the door in your face. Well kind of, we’ll just play a sound effect like a door slamming in your face.
Slacker and Steve are ready to get down on some Girl Scout cookies but are a little nervous about all the feelings they are about to hurt to get there. It’s going to be a sweet ending for them and one lucky little girl no matter what!
What’s your greatest Girl Scout cookie pitch?
I feel so bad about laughing so hard at these little girls but it’s one of the funniest things I’ve ever heard. I’ll probably re-play it for all my friends tonight. Haha!
Ryan and Sarah were live with us today for Great Mate Debate. They just moved in to a diverse neighborhood and are settling in nicely. Ryan now wants to hang an American flag out front to show his patriotism. Sarah is glad that he is patriotic but thinks he could show it in other ways because she doesn’t want to be seen as “that family” in the neighborhood. She fears that being as they are the minority in that neighborhood it will be taken as something other than patriotism.
Slacker comes from a “flag family” but has never really been that guy himself. He admits that it’s mostly because he fears his HOA and he has no idea what the rules are about it. Both Slacker and Steve say that they didn’t realize what the big deal was until Sarah explained and can understand why the flag might have them dubbed “that family”. But still think that it’s sad that this is even a debate because this is America.
Whose side are you on?
I hate to admit this but I think that was one of the most pathetic GMD’s ever. I have no idea how it’s even argument. I think Sarah is being paranoid about the flag and should be glad she has the luxury of affording a home in this wonderful country. I say, “Go Ryan! Fly that flag in front of your house!”
Judge by Slacker And Steve,posted Feb 6 2013 6:17PM
No matter how nice of a person you think you are, you are prone to judge someone for something: people with poor grammar, people who lack manners, or anyone with a persistent sniffle in a quiet place; ever heard of a tissue?!
We’ve compiled a list of the 30 kinds of people we just can’t stop judging… here are a few:
“1. People who smoke. It's 2013, not 1950. We know too much about the health consequences of this nasty habit to keep thinking it's a good idea or an acceptable behavior around others who might not want to be subjected to secondhand smoke.
2. People who drink lots of soda. Don't they know it's filled with high fructose corn syrup and chemicals that are rotting them from the inside out?
3. People who perpetually eat junk food. See #2.
4. People who have "too many kids." Seriously, are they trying to be the next Duggars or what?"
Steve judges people who text and drive while Slacker judges people who smoke and those who are obese, BUT not by what they look like but by what they continue to buy at the grocery store.
What do you judge people for?
I can be a bit judgy wudgy sometimes, I’ll admit, but I do my best not to go overboard. I focus most of my criticism, however, on grammar and people who fail to use it properly: “Your perfect. Im going to walk over their now.” I could die. I know I’m not a perfect writer, but I am a self-proclaimed “grammar Nazi” so I do my best to contain my pronouns and coma splices. But in 2013 we’re still having trouble with the basics of grammar. I don’t get it.
I Never by Slacker And Steve,posted Feb 6 2013 5:36PM
It’s amazing what we take for granted on a day to day basis… walking on the beach, savoring that meaty hamburger, driving down the highway listening to your favorite radio station… but, believe it or not some people have never experienced these commonplace events and experiences.
Steve has never watched Breaking Bad and Slacker is extremely disappointed by this fact. A simple solution, however, is Steve watching it on Netflix… but Steve has never used Netflix either. Until recently Slacker had never eaten Nutella despite being a giant sweets eater. The experience was clearly addictive.
What have you “missed the boat on”?
As inconsequential as it may seem, I’ve never seen The Hangover, one of the most if not the most culturally relevant movies of my time. I find that a little sad but that’s neither here nor there. Most of my friends are absolutely shocked when I admit this because somehow my life is incomplete without seeing this film. On a completely different note: Nutella is amazing! Eat it every day if you can!
Candy is in a relationship rut. Her commanding, deadbeat boyfriend of 5 years lays around the house, drinks, and yells when she doesn’t have his dinner planned. However, she feels certain that he’s bound to change his act someday….
“Yi! My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 years. During that time he's been unemployed for at least 3 of them. When he's out of work he lays around and drinks, and then gets angry at me if I come home and don't have dinner planned. My friends and family constantly tell me that I need to leave him, but that's easier said than done. I'm 35 and I've already invested years in this relationship and dread the thought of starting over. Add to that, I know that he'll eventually get his act together and, when he does, he's assured me we'll get married and start a family. I'm ready to be a mom and need advice on how not to hate a man who is so selfishly unmotivated.
Slacker strongly believes that the “happily ever after” ending does not exist in this situation. There is no woman out there who has waded through all the BS and ended up with a prince who once was a lazy beast. They both agree that Candy has made the decision to stay with him but wants to find ways to cope with his selfish behavior so she doesn’t hate him, but Steve says it’s their job to shake her from this delusion because her currently decision, they feel, is a stupid one.
Should she stay or should she go?
I’ve heard of other people staying in bad relationships for other reasons: he has club level seats to every Nuggets game, the sex is really good, etc., but I’ve never heard of a woman putting up with such nonsense because she thinks he’ll change- on his own too- and they’ll get married and start a family. I think her biological clock is ticking directly into her ear because she wants to force something that in the back of her mind she knows is ridiculous… or she could be very delusional. Maybe, at 35, she needs to start over.
Women love to hear compliments… the new dress they splurged on is super cute, their new trendy haircut frames their face perfectly, and those pants definitely don’t make their butt look big. But how much do women love to hear compliments about that plastic surgery they just had? Slacker had a recent encounter with a woman who had work done on her lips and when he commented on her new appearance she flipped out and was shocked by his observation. Now Slacker is confused but has discovered the one thing you should NEVER compliment a woman on… plastic surgery.
Slacker asked what the difference between someone noticing that you spent time and money on a new haircut and someone noticing your new, luscious lips which you obviously spent money on. He also professed that he is out of the complimenting business because he stands by the fact that he didn’t do anything wrong; he was simply saying something nice about this woman he knew. Steve is on Slacker’s side, but now feels gun-shy when it comes to giving compliments because apparently it’s a touchier subject than they both thought.
Is it okay to compliment someone on the results of their plastic surgery?
I think that this whole subject comes down to one thing… it’s simple… don’t drastically change your appearance and expect to hear nothing about it. Also, while not not expecting to hear something don’t get offended when you do. We all know that you were unhappy with some aspect of your physical appearance, probably weren’t receiving the validation and compliments you feel you need, so you changed and- deny it all you want- now you like to hear those positive comments about your new look. There’s no logic in spending tons of money on something you never want to be talked about- like your visible appearance. Sure, you may have done it to feel better about yourself, but it certainly doesn’t hurt when the hottie in the cubicle across the room tells you how good your newly taut face looks… surely they will say it with more finesse than that.
Butt Dialed by Slacker And Steve,posted Feb 5 2013 5:39PM
A man was arrested in Orange City, Florida, after he pocket-dialed 911 and dispatchers heard him talking about drugs.
The 19-year-old tow truck driver was talking to two passengers about selling drugs and from the conversation, dispatchers learned that they were driving a tow truck and heard the name Harry. The cops pulled over a Harry's Towing truck moments later…
Slacker, the supposed king of technology has butt dialed everyone on his phone….he won’t admit it though.
What kind of butt dialing stories do you have?
(Photo courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net)
They have been looking for a nanny to watch their daughter…one of them thinks they have found the perfect person. The argument is the wife found a guy who nannys and thinks he’s perfect! The husband completely disagrees and insists that they get a woman instead.
Slacker thinks they should hire the manny and Steve is really hesitant that he could get in huge trouble for it.
What do you think? Who’s in the right here?
(Photo courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net)
It’s that time of year again to pop that special question and love is in the air! If you’re a guy who’s planning on popping the question on V-day, here are the tips to up the romance factor and decrease that cliché.
Don’t over plan – If you’re worried about spending the whole night trying to orchestrate fireworks and a musical performance than you’re going to have a stressful time. Remember to relax and stay simple. Try not to hide the ring too well, the last thing you want to do is forget where you put it or worse…watch her choke on it when you slip it in the bottom of a champagne flute.
Don’t ask for help - Recruit your family and friends to help make plans go smoothly and it helps to take the pressure off knowing you have help.
What kind of proposal story do you have?
(Photo courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net)
Steve is finally admitting he has a little bit of a soft side, kind of. Over the weekend he was watching the movie 'Super' and teared up at the end...but only a little...and they were man tears! We all know that Slacker has cried many tears while watching The Notebook.
You think you’ve seen every strange thing craigslist has to offer? You’re wrong. A DJ out of San Francisco is advertising his services on the bulletin board website as a “Birthing DJ” who will spin records as your little bundle of joy enters the world. He describes the experience of bringing your friends over for a sort of delivery party as “Ecstatic Dance’s Hippier Cousin” ... whatever that means. And to make matters MORE hilarious, the DJ claims to spin beats like Yogatronica, WombStep, Deep Doula House, and Electrowifery.
And as far as we can tell, he’s not kidding.
Did you have a bizarre situation unfold in the delivery room? What happened?
Yi! No OPP today...we have a Great Mate Debate that needs attention now!
Trish and Casey got a black lab puppy for their 7-year-old son, Connor, for Christmas. This morning, Bella (the puppy), got out of the yard and was hit by a car. Unfortunately, she didn't make it. Connor still doesn't know. Trish knows that the guy they got the puppy from still has a female from the litter and she wants Casey to go to his house when he gets off and pay whatever it takes to get the puppy. She wants to replace Bella with the new puppy and never tell Connor what happened. Casey thinks that is a horrible idea. He thinks this will be a good way to teach their young son about death. He also thinks Connor will be devastated and never trust them again if he ever finds out that they replaced his puppy.
Whose side are you on? What do you think they should do?
Happy Hour by Slacker and Steve,posted Feb 4 2013 3:04PM
Everywhere you look, it’s always bad news…and we get sucked into it too. We always do topics like Bad Teachers, Worst Dates, etc. Not today! We don’t do it often, but we want to hear your feel good, positive stories!
What good thing has happened in your life recently?
Work can be stressful in itself and having a horrible person for a co-worker can make it an absolute nightmare! Christy needs your help with a problem she has with a new coworker, Rebecca. Her coworker keeps taking the credit for the work that Christy does!
Rebecca is close friends with her boss and Christy is hesitant to confront or intervening the situation.
Slacker thinks shes doomed and is unable to do anything in this situation, he hopes the listeners will give her some advice....it looks like he actually had Christys co-worker on the phone. That escalated quickly! Rebecca had a few things to say to Christy and is now unsure whats going to happen come monday for work.
What kind of advice do you have for Christy?
(photo courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net)