In case you didn't know, there are sex life coaches out there...yep, it's true. They come to your house, sit in the room with you and watch you and your partner have relations! They give suggestions during the act and ask you to practice their pointers. The success rate of these therapists are through the roof!
Surprise, surprise, Slacker and Steve both think that they would excel in a sex life coach career! But truthfully, Slacker is quite horrified by this whole thing and is just waiting for someone to tell him it's all a scam. Studdering over his millions of questions about these coaches, Slacker wants to know how they get qualified for this, where they go to school, and what is their degree?! Steve thinks it's a great idea!
Would you ever hire a sex life coach?
I'm all about it! If things besides your sex life are great and that's the only thing that's rocky, why wouldn't you do anything to save it? I'm sure it's tough but they are only there if you really need them.
Kids Exposed by Slacker And Steve,posted Jun 28 2012 7:33PM
Yi!
A woman told us that she wont go out with her family around 4th of July anymore because a couple years ago at that time her child's hand got caught in her bikini top and exposed her breast!
Slacker's wife had taken Noah out to the store one day and he decided to start playing parachute...in her dress!! She was totally exposed with plenty of strangers around! Steve didn't let Slacker get away with out telling the story of when Noah exposed him talking smack about some friends who never bring anything good to a party but dive right in to all the expensive stuff that others have provided.
What has your kid done to expose you?
I don't have any kids or memories of being exposed by kids...yet. But I do have a new nephew and another one on the way, I just hope I'm around to laugh when one of them exposes my brother! (Love you Tim and Jeni!)
Beth joined us live on the air today with her OPP about her boyfriend's mom. She has been seeing her boyfriend for seven months now and just met his mother. Things went really well, too well it turns out... The mom is now constantly calling, texting, emailing, and facebooking her!! She is making things uncomfortable by trying to discuss their sex life and inviting her Victoria's Secret. Beth tried talking to her boyfriend about it but he said that his mom is just over-involved because she is a single mother. She is just past the point of flattered and now a little freaked out...
Slacker and Steve think the mom might really think she is "the one" and wants to do anything to reel her in and keep her there. She might have to make a solid decision, break up with the mom or break up with him...
What do you think she should do?
Call me old school but I think honesty is the best policy. Beth should take the mom to lunch or something and just politley tell her that she has her own best friends and that she doesn't feel comfortable with the over done attempts in getting ahold of her all the time and especially talking about their sex life. If she doesn't say something soon, this relationship could end because of it.
Todays live Great Mate Debate comes from sisters Carrie and Melanie. Melanie lives in California and just had a baby, and Carrie recently went to visit and help out with the new baby. While Carrie was there, Melanie confided to her that she sabotaged her birth control in order to get pregnant. Melanie says it's none of Carrie's business and she thinks she should focus on her own life.
Steve says that Carrie took the husbands choice away which is not right, even if it is "sunshine and roses now." But on the other hand, if he is a good father and enjoying it, than why reck it now? Slacker is hoping this one is not an ultimatum and has a hard time choosing what he thinks is right. Slacker agrees that it's not really Carrie's business but if there was sabotage in the room he'd want to know...
Whose side are you on?
I have a sister who I am so close with and can honestly say that if this was us I'd be super ticked off at her for taking the decision away from the guy. However, she is my sister, my best friend and only person I truly trust in this world so I would let it be her decision. I would give her my opinion and hope that she made the best decision for all parties involved and never bring it up again...until I had to say I told you so when the guy finally found out somehow.
A man went out to a restaurant wearing an "**** Me, I'm Irish" shirt out in public, and the man was ejected out of the restaurant. He believes it was wrong to be kicked out because he was entitled to free speech, but is he really covered by the 1st Amendment?
Slacker, Steve, and even Producer Dave (heck, everybody has encountered this) have found instances of swearing and profanity in public events. Doesn't matter if you are at a sporting event or restaurant, there will always be that guy who swears in public (usually that guy is Slacker, but at least he feels bad about it).
I'll be the first to admit, my Dad isn't one to watch his language...especially around the house. I've heard a lot of swearing in my day, but usually it's back at home or if I'm with my parents' friends. Even I'm guilty of swearing, but I try my best to not do it around kids. Because if there is one thing I cannot stand is kids half my age who openly swear. So for this one, I'll keep my mouth shut.
Do you think free speech entitles people to public profanity?
Wedding Woes by Slacker And Steve,posted Jun 27 2012 7:38PM
One way for a wedding to be ruined: the dock your wedding party is taking pictures on collapses sending everyone into the water!
Newlyweds Eric and Maegan Walber were posing on a dock with their wedding party when the dock collapsed. Everyone plunged into the water at the Bay Pointe Inn in Shelbyville, Michigan. Eric says, "We were out there for probably 30 seconds, standing on the dock, and it started to lean and tilt. We went right under. I saw the thing starting to tilt, and I'm like, 'Oh, yup, this is going to happen.' The wedding party laughed it off. Everyone was laughing. It was one of those things that it just happens and you roll with it."
Doesn't sound like Slacker and Steve don't have any wedding horror stories, and neither do I.
I can't say I've experienced anything first hand. Weddings around my area are always a great time (weddings anywhere else just don't compare...just kidding). Aside from any ruined weddings I've seen in movies, I can't admit that I've had the pleasure to see see a wedding go wrong.
Her parents are aging and she is having a tough time taking care of them. Today's OPP needs to know what she should do with her parents:
Yi! I'm having a hard time taking care of my elderly parents and wondered if you have any idea where I can turn for help. I'm single, an only child, and I'm trying to work while having to run back and forth to their place to take one or both of them to the doctor or the E.R. I'm about ready to snap and I don't know what to do.
Tania
Steve was able to avoid this situation at the sad loss of losing his parents and Slacker struggles with a solution. Slacker's parents are 70 and well, so even he has a hard time relating to this problem. Both of the men encourage Tania to go off and try to live her life and to continue her career, but are unsure how she should go about it.
Unfortunately, I'm the last person to offer any advice in this regard (I wish I could help). Both my parents are slightly over 40 and won't be much older than me in the long run. And at the moment both are going strong in their lives and careers. Heck, my dad is still going strong on running his concrete business. He is out there everyday with the rest of his workers. I'd like to keep my parents happy with their independence for as long as I can, but if I was in Tiana's situation, I might consider assisted living.
What would you do for your parents in this situation?
Stocked Up by Slacker And Steve,posted Jun 27 2012 5:16PM
It is a sad day when they stop making your favorite products and there is only one thing to do…stock up on as much as you can get your hands on!
So everybody has stocked up on something, but Slacker and Steve know a friend who is "anti-green" and buying all the incandescent light bulbs at Costco. Years ago, when lighters were turning childproof, Steve stocked up on all the lighters that weren't. Slacker loved Skinny potato chips a while back, but unfortunately for him, he didn't stock up. He called the warehouse and was able to buy the rest (enough to last 8 months).
Fortunately for me, my favorite foods haven't been taken away from me yet (I'd sooner kill a man than let them take away my ice cream). I'm usually good at trying new things so if my favorite foods do get taken away, I'd have no problem replacing them lat---wait, they got rid of Oreo O's??!!?!!? Who decides these things? That's my childhood they discontinued! Well at least I still have ice cream...
Have any of your favorite foods been discontinued? Tell us about it!
Colorado Fires by Slacker and Steve,posted Jun 26 2012 8:41PM
Slacker and Steve were originally going to talk about something else during the six o'clock hour, but instead decided to address the many disastrous fires burning around Colorado right now. The wildfires seem to be having an affect on almost everyone in some way or another, whether it be a direct threat to your home or indirect through a friend or family member living in one of the places where the fires are burning.
Slacker says he woke up with a sore throat this morning because of the smoke in the air, but points out that this is the very least of the problems the fire is causing (in Fort Collins you cannot even eat outside because you will get ash in your food). It is incredibly scary to know that this is such a present danger to so many people in places not far from where we live.
PMS Behavior by Slacker and Steve,posted Jun 26 2012 7:33PM
A new study has shown that woman actually do really weird things during that time of the month!
MIND & BODY: Weird Things Women Do During Their "Time of the Month"
Ladies, next time you do something totally bizarre and out of character, and it just so happens to be “that time of the month” you now have an actual biological excuse! Our bodies are making us act unlike ourselves. Check out some of the weird things women do when Aunt Flow comes for a visit:
-You become more attracted to bad boys: A recent study revealed that when women are at peak fertility, while ovulating, they are much more attracted to bad boys then dependable looking men. So next time you take a real jerk home with you, check your cycle – it may have been your hormones talking!
-You dress a little more risque than usual: New research has found that ovulating women tend to buy clothing that's tighter and racier than what they would normally buy. The body is saying, "find a man to make a baby with right now!"
-Your voice changes: When you are menstruating, your voice becomes less attractive to the opposite sex because you are less fertile during that time!
Both Slacker and Steve previously thought PMS was a myth and women used it as an excuse to get out of doing things. However, now that a medical journal has published a study proving its existence they both (though Steve is still on the fence) have to concede the point that PMS is real.
I think this is an interesting thing to do a study on, especially because it feels like everyone already blames a woman's bad mood, weird behavior, etc. on PMS. As a woman, I definitely have had those moments during "Shark Week" when hormones are raging and my emotions get the best of me. I don't know if the changes that this study suggests are true for all women as I'm usually more likely to be found in leggings or sweatpants during this time of the month, but maybe these shifts are more subconscious.
What crazy thing have you or someone you know done during THAT time of the month?
She just wanted a relaxing day at the pool and one of her neighbors totally ruined it for her. Our OPP needs your help figuring out what to do!
Yi! I laid out at my apartment complex pool the other day for some relax time and a woman dressed in gym gear dropped her 7 year old off and left. She had her boyfriend beside her when she told her son "mommy has to workout and run errands". Because I was the only other person at the pool I felt obligated to stick around to make sure he didn't drown but I had stuff to do as well. Even worse, this isn't the first time I've seen her drop him at the pool and leave. I hate calling the cops but she kind of made this my problem. Should I say something to her?
Jane
Slacker and Steve agree that she technically has no legal responsibility to stay and watch the kid. However, Slacker says he would probably do the same thing Jane did to make sure nothing happened to the seven-year-old while by himself. Slacker also wonders about other aspects of pool etiquette such as bringing booze when you're going to spend the day at the pool with your kids.
I would say this woman needs to tell someone, whether she feels it is serious enough to contact the police or if she can just talk to the neighbor herself (though one will always find trouble when telling other people how to raise their children). Even if the apartment complex has some sort of security or management she can get in touch with, she can't leave this issue with this neighbor be, especially if it's a common occurrence and especially since this kid is so young.
As far as bringing alcohol to a family pool day, I would say as long as you're not going too crazy and actually getting drunk, there is nothing wrong with having a beer or two by the pool over the course of the day (assuming it's allowed, I'm not sure how many pools/water parks actually allow this).
What would you do if you were put in a situation like this one? Are there any other aspects of pool etiquette that you think should be addressed?
Through a friend, at the mall, in a park…these constitute normal and respectable places to meet your significant other. Everybody’s looking for love. Nobody wants to be lonely. But when things get desperate along the way and you’re looking for love in all the wrong places, it can get creepy. There are some places – and some situations – that you just don’t want to be looking for your mate, such as funerals, AA meetings, drug rehab, jail, and family reunions (really creepy).
Slacker met his current wife in a strip club...or the alleyway behind said strip club (there was some debate between Slacker and Steve as to how it actually went down). Steve said he thought it was ok to tell people if you met your significant other in prison, but not jail (long-term v. short-term).
I can't say I have any of my own stories about creepy ways I have met people but my sister met a guy on the Denver Light Rail on Halloween when he overheard her talking about someone he also knew and they ended up dating for several months!
Do you have a story about meeting a significant other somewhere creepy or unusual?
Here's a few examples of the lies parents have told there kids...
When I was young my parents brought home this very fancy maple syrup from Toronto, and I fell in love with it. We used it a few times, and then they told me it had ran out so we were using a normal version like Aunt Jemimah's or something. Apparently I threw a temper tantrum. Today we made waffles while I'm visiting home for a week and my mom mentioned how she would just put Aunt Jemimahs back into the fancy maple syrup bottle and how I'd always say something like "See mom? I can taste the difference".
I used to just spew out random numbers to my mom, telling to add, subtract, multiply, etc. She would, in turn, tell me what the final number would be. Blew my mind, and she was the damn smartest person on the planet. Then I got clever. One day I got a calculator out to make sure she had it right. She didn't.
My parents used to lock their door to their rooms sometimes. When a sibling or myself would knock on the door they would say, "You can't come in, we're talking about Christmas!" We would always get so excited thinking they were discussing our presents. They told us the truth a few years ago and my siblings and I were flabbergasted! Since then, my dad occasionally sings Christmas songs to annoy us (his favorite is Jingle Bells). And now I associate Christmas with my parents having sex.
(Stories Courtesy of Reddit.org)
Slacker’s parents faked a ghost incident. Several things happened to convince Slacker that his basement was haunted. One of his earliest recollections was looking down the stairs into the basement. He had a meltdown and wanted his mom to make him a sandwich. As he was throwing a fit, he heard a voice say “You don’t need a sandwich!” He ran to his room screaming and crying. Slacker’s mom came up to his room and asked him what was wrong. He tells her what happened and she swears she didn’t hear anything! Fast forward to the present day and Slacker and his wife are at his parents’ house having drinks. He’s telling his wife the story about the voice and the sandwich and neither of his parents would make eye contact with him! Slacker realizes, OMG! It was his Dad! He finally put it together. Slacker thinks his parents were having ‘relations’ in the basement. Why not? He’s not going to interrupt. He’s too scared!
Steve proclaims Slacker’s parents are absolutely brilliant!
What lies did your parents tell you?
My dad always locked me out of the house after school! He told me he forgot it was locked and apologized every time. When I was still a kid I found out it was because he was having an affair with another woman while my mom was at work and I was in school. After that, not too much got by me!
Peace, Love and Good Happiness Stuff! – Intern Ray
Yi! My daughter is 28 and still living at home. She doesn't earn enough to buy her own place so she pays half of the mortgage. We get along well so it isn't a problem. Last year, she met a 22-year-old guy at a bar. The two are serious even though I can't stand him. I don't trust him. He's lazy and not very nice to her, but she can't see past him. The main problem is she wants him to move in with us. She says it'll give them the chance to save for a place of their own. I don't know what to do since she is paying her share...but my gut says NO! Help!
Jeanette
Steve says now that there are 3 people in the house, he has to pay up! Steve thinks this is getting to be like a refugee camp if the deadbeat dude is staying without paying. It’s a 'no lose' for Jeanette if she puts here foot down here and says no. Well, she loses a bit in the financial department, but she is helping the daughter, not the daughter helping her out. Steve’s thinks there are concessions you make when you move back home.
Slacker thinks that he can come over and stay the night, whenever. How many times is too many before you have to donate to the fund? Since it is her daughter, do you give up some of your right’s as a human being because you moved back in with your parents? Slacker says yes.
Does Jeanette still get a say as a parent or does she have to concede?
If she’s only paying half the note on the house, that is not exactly half of the bills. So my thought is this…Put your damn foot down, girl! It was your place to start. She’s 28. Later on, she’ll be thanking you for the decision, trust me. He may or may not work out. If you see this through, she’ll see through him in the end. I know this because he’ll have to find a way to pay his share if she’s moves out, based on your decision. Then it will be very obvious this guy is a sponge. Don’t regress, progress baby!
Peace, Love and Good Happiness Stuff! - Intern Ray
A woman crashed her boss' car into a pond...after being stung in the face by a bee!
Woman crashes boss's car into lake after bee attack…
It's a natural reaction to dive the other way when a bee's intent on stinging you -- just make sure you don't do it while operating a motor vehicle. A 24-year-old Alabama woman learned that the hard way when a bee flew in her open car window while she was driving and stung her lip. She swerved while swatting at the insect and crashed her car into a lake. Oops. To make matters worse, it was her boss's car. "I was like, 'Oh my God, I'm going to get fired!'" she said. We hope her supervisor thought the swollen lip, car accident and swim to safety was enough drama for one day.
Slacker knows a dude who got attacked by bees while landscaping. He was using those ginourmous loppers to trim with, you know the ones. He was totally scared as the bees came at him. Instead of running like a man with his ginourmous loppers, he throws them in the air and tries to flee the scene. The tool comes down and impales him in the foot! Now the dude is stuck to the ground with the bees all thinking to themselves…”Hey Thanks! Thanks for stopping!” Then they feasted on the nectar of his blood, because they were Zombie Bees!
Slacker’s son will not sleep in a house with that has even one Miller Moth. He says they leave stains on you when you swing at them or squash them. They are dirty and dusty! Slacker thinks that moths just sit and wait for lights to come on and then, BAM! They go for it! He’s afraid to get phone calls in the dark because the moths are gonna find him!
Steve blames it on Slacker’s wife for making him afraid and Slacker agrees 100%. He’s trying to figure out how Slacker is still alive with such obsessive concerns for what the Miller Moth is really after. Steve insists you don’t smash him, just swat at them. Steve just wants Slacker to swat at them because they’re just dumb bugs. Is Steve part of the people for the ethnic treatment of Miller Moths?
Have you had an incident with a bug?
I suck at landscaping and lawn maintenance, so I have a lot of run-ins with bugs…mostly wasps! My daughter catches the brunt of it though. She is truly frightened by the pests and rightfully so! Her foot swelled up for 5 days a week ago from 2 stings at the same time! I’m trying to get rid of a nest that just keeps rebuilding itself within my retaining wall. I think they are just building immunity to the spray I’m using and gaining strength for a huge revolution!
Peace, Love and Good Happiness Stuff! – Intern Ray
A Canadian gym just banned skinny women from their gym! They said that skinny women bring down morale and are trying to create a safe haven for the bigger women that are trying to work out!
Do you think this is right? Do you avoid the gym in fear that you are being judged?
I’m not going to lie, I should go to the gym but I do get intimidated when I see men and woman there that clearly spend a lot more time in the gym than I do. So, I can appreciate what the gym is trying to do, but...who and how do they decide what’s too thin and what’s acceptable for the gym?? Interesting….
Shrines by Slacker And Steve,posted Jun 21 2012 7:21PM
Yi!
One guy is so obsessed with Miley Cyrus, he has 15 tattoos of her! His name is MileyCyrusCarlx on Twitter and he says he is her biggest fan!
Slacker thinks that Steve has a shrine to Marvel. Steve thinks Slacker has a shrine of Apple. They both deny it. But it’s true…
What do you care about so much that you have made a shrine for?
I have loved Bon Jovi for as long as I can remember. You can make fun of me if you want but I’m sticking to it. Anyway, I had a life size poster of him hanging on my wall for years and only took it down because I was moving. I have almost all of their albums but I don’t think either of those things are out of the norm. As far as getting tattoos to show my fan pride for anyone it is almost completely out of the question! I only say almost because if Jon Bon Jovi paid me himself to get a tattoo of him, I’d do it for sure.
He’s about to get married but is starting to re-think the whole thing... Everyone keeps telling him it’s just cold feet and to just go through with the wedding. The future groom, Shawn, is thinking it’s much more than cold feet and needs your help!
Slacker and Steve both think that it needs to be discussed either way. Steve thinks he should run no matter what though.
What do you think Shawn should do about the wedding?
If there are questions at all, I think he needs to talk to his fiancée no matter what. But I’m really curious as to why he proposed if he didn’t really want to marry her?? Or what changed in the relationship from them to now that is about to flip this whole thing upside down?? Either way, Shawn needs to talk to his fiancée no matter what though.
Today’s live callers for Great Mate Debate are actually divorced but still battling it out… Michelle and Kyle split up more than three years ago and she remarried, John, shortly after. Michelle and Kyle have a 4 year old son who is taken care of by her and her new husband John. She wants to change her son’s last name to her new husband’s last name because he is the one raising him and hates being questioned about the difference in last names. Kyle says that he is the real dad, who created their son and is completely against this idea, even though he, admittedly, is not around very often.
Slacker says you can’t erase the fact that Michelle slept with Kyle and that he is the father of the kid and that is just how it is…
Who’s last name do you think this young boy should have and why?
Unless the biological father is totally out of the picture, I think the kid should keep his last name. If the kid decides later on that he wants to do that, let him make the choice. Again, I am so thankful that I have never had to deal with this kind of stuff.
This is the best time of year to roll down the windows and cruise while your favorite song is blaring through the speakers! We want to hear what that song is for you!
Steve is thinking about road tripping back out to the Dakota's and he is in desperate need of having a summer car playlist. He prefers manly road trip songs, or at least Slacker prefers that they are manly (anything from the 1980's will do just fine).
I'm a notorious car singer (yes, I'll admit it). It doesn't matter what station, or what song. If I like it, know the words, and think that I can hit all the notes (usually I can't), you can bet I'll be yelling everything from Flo Rida to Carley Rae out the window (without shame).
What's your favorite summer song to blast in the car?
O.C.D by Slacker and Steve,posted Jun 20 2012 7:21PM
Kim Kardashian recently admitted she thinks she suffers from OCD. She says, ''I can't take a shower unless the bathroom is absolutely spotless, I think I'm totally OCD … everything has to be immaculate. I have a cleaner who comes three times a week but I always do the cleaning on top of that.''
Slacker feels that Steve is just like Kim. Not in the respect that he's hot, but that he is an OCD cleaner. Even Steve admits that showers can get disgusting, he's not on the same level as Kim. Slacker's wife is OCD about making sure everything is off before leaving the house. Even mid-trip, he'll turn around to check the house again. Steve carries along toilet paper and paper towels for trips. Is that OCD, or just weird?
At the moment, I can't admit I have any rituals that run my personal life. My daily schedule is always changing, but my running routine is always the same. I always have to stretch before and after a run, and try eat a post-workout snack. The rituals before an actual race is even worse and I usually end up warming up for a race with at least 20 minutes left to spare.
OPP: Soulmate by Slacker and Steve,posted Jun 20 2012 6:26PM
They say you know when you find your soul mate…but what if you’re already taken? Today's OPP, Karen, has been married for 8 years but the past couple years have been on the downslide. She claims that her husband is not treating her like she should be treated, but rather a roommate. Karen believes that her husband would be better paired off with her best friend because they have better chemistry.
Slacker and Steve are having a hard time wrapping their heads around this situation. Usually someone doesn't step back and encourage their significant other to date their best friend. Steve said it best with "life is short." So with that in mind, why not?
I'm shocked to hear of something like this. It is definitely a backwards situation, like something that would be found in a movie rather than real life. I can't say I've been in this situation before. I HAVE though been in a situation where I find someone I like, but was dating someone else. That situation actually turned into me leaving my then-girlfriend and now I have been dating the other girl for about 8 months, and I can say I made the right choice.
If you thought your significant other was better with someone else, would you step out of the picture?
BOYCOTT NAMES by Slacker and Steve,posted Jun 20 2012 5:19PM
We have a new intern and we were sure he wasn’t going to work out…because of his name!
Slacker and Steve have their assumptions about the name Brandon. Yes, Brandon (like the Brandon writing this blog). They say that I'm a good intern, but other Brandon's have ruined the name. Slacker says that there is nothing normal about Brandon's. There are other names such as fratboy Travis or blonde Heather.
I'm not taking this personally (lucky I'm a good sport about this). But even along the same lines, I notice there are other Brandon's out there that...let's just say don't act like I do. There are other names names where I think of the same thing, and that certain names are held up to certain expectations. Hopefully I can convince Slacker and Steve that I'm not Brandon the d-bag.
Are there any names that you have assumptions for?
Steve has a theory, "How you treat your meats is how you treat your sweets." "If you are picky with your food then you are picky with your dude." If she is overly picky and judgmental with her food then she will be the same way with her men and relationships. "Is this chicken farm-raised? Is it organic? Does it have a name? Can I get asparagus instead of mashed potatoes?" It's also a bad sign if she reaches across and eats off of your plate without asking, as well as if she begins eating before you've been served your meal.
Steve says this is a sure fire way of knowing whether someone is worth sticking with. I am going to have to agree with this to a certain extent. I'm sure there are those rare few who are picky with food but laidback in every other aspect of their life, but if your standards are this high when it comes to eating out there is really no way your standards for men aren't equally as extreme and high.
Gross Us Out! by Slacker and Steve,posted Jun 19 2012 7:27PM
A woman in South Korea was enjoying a nice plate of calamari when she felt a sharp pain. That pain was a squid injecting her gums with ‘baby pods’! How disgusting is that?! Tell us the sickening things that have happened to you…it’s ‘Gross Us Out’!
WOMAN BECOMES 'PREGNANT IN THE MOUTH' WHEN BABY SQUID-CALAMARI SQUIRT 'SPERM'
A 63-year-old woman (in South Korea) allegedly became 'pregnant' with 12 baby squid after eating calamari. The woman was reportedly eating a portion of cooked whole squid when she felt a sharp pain in her mouth. She later told doctors that she could feel something "bug-like" in her mouth. The doctors found 'baby pods' attached to her mouth that contained sperm. Doctors removed the sticky sperm bags from her gums, tongue and cheek. Believe it or not, a similar case was reported last year when a woman in Japan suffered severe pains in her mouth after eating raw squid.
Slacker and Steve had trouble reading this story without yakking...especially since calamari is one of Slacker's favorite foods! And after hearing this, it will probably be a while before I eat calamari again too. I don't think anything this caliber of gross has ever happened to me, but I did have a friend who had a spider lay eggs in her bed...not exactly what I would call a pleasant wake-up call.
What is the most disgusting thing that has happened to you?
OPP: Bully Kid by Slacker and Steve,posted Jun 19 2012 6:34PM
Her son is in the middle of a feud with another boy, but each claims the other is the bully. How does she find out if her son is the victim or the instigator?
Yi! Over the weekend my 11 year old son slashed the bike tires of a neighbor boy. When he was caught he told me he did it because the neighbor kid bullies him. The neighbors said that their son told them that my son bullies him. At this point it's obvious I'm paying for some new bike tires but I have no idea what to do about the accusation that my son is a bully. How can a parent prove that their son is the victim when it's he said he said?
Erin
Slacker said he would be prepared to move if his kid were in this situation. He said that even though he expects Noah will someday be the bully, he hopes he will be the bullied because he will turn out better (you can't be a bully in the real world). Slacker says he fit the bully mold (popular, good-looking, etc.) growing up but he did not often wield this power over anyone.
I was always the awkward/nerdy girl, so I never really became the bullying type. However, I faced enough of those popular kids with that false sense of entitlement to know that one of these kids is lying OR they are unknowingly simultaneously bullying each other (in which case I'm not sure it would be called bullying so much as just fighting). Kids lie! They'll do anything to not get in trouble for doing something bad. I think it will take a sit down with both boys and both sets of parents to set things straight.
How do you deal with your neighbor’s kid turning their ATV around in your driveway? One way you DON’T is by holding them at gunpoint! What makes you a bad neighbor?
The Southport, Florida police recently arrested Jerry Fulcher for threatening six kids with a gun. The children, ages 4 through 16, were turning their ATV around in Fulcher’s driveway when he came out with a handgun and ordered the kids to put their hands on their heads and lie down on the ground. The 16-year-old driver apologized, but Fulcher pointed the gun at his head and said he'd be the “first to go.” The teens were ordered to call their mother so she could come pick them up. The mother arrived and called 911. Fulcher was charged with one count of aggravated battery with a deadly weapon and six counts each of aggravated assault and false imprisonment.
As a kid, the loud and rowdy teenageers (and sometimes their families as well) were THAT neighbor where I lived. Whether it's being nitpicky about other people's lawns or making too much noise, every street and neighborhood has its own issues (though not always quite as dramatic as being held at gunpoint for turning an ATV around in someone elses driveway...)
Here are 15 of the most-frequently shoplifted items in the United States:
Cigarettes, Energy drinks, High-end liquor, Infant formula, Allergy medicine, Diabetes testing strips, Pain relievers, Weight loss pills, Electric toothbrushes and replacement heads, Lotions and creams, Pregnancy tests, Denim jeans, Designer clothing, Handbags and Cell Phones
(HuffingtonPost.com)
Steve had a friend that used to steal diabetes test strips because health care plans didn’t used to cover the cost. He wouldn’t give Slacker the name of the guy, but Steve used to steal his sterile syringes and fill them Vodka to inject fruit or whatever.
Slacker swiped pregnancy tests when his wife was trying to get pregnant from a pharmacy because when they bought the cheap kind, the strips would show up as a false positive…When Slacker used to work at a CD store, some guy tried to steal a Tiffany CD! He had a white t-shirt on and Slacker was like either the guy had a Tiffany tattoo or he’s trying to swipe something.
Dave the Producer has gotten away with shoplifting an adult magazine. So he thought! He was at a
convenience store as a 7th grader and they were going to buy candy while they were waiting for their parents. They saw the adult magazines in the magazine stand. Being 13-14 old boys, they knew someone had to walk out with one of them. He was the “new guy” and he figured he would do it! Dave slides the magazine into his pants and straightens his blue Starter jacket. He figured he better buy something so he wouldn’t look suspicious! As he is checking out, the cashier makes a comment to another cashier about a kid in line with a blue jacket has something. Dave freaks out and freezes! Well, two people in front of him, another kid has a blue jacket and the cashier grabs him instead! Dave instantly bails out of the store! Once he gets outside and over to his friends the tables turn…Turns out it was only the lingerie edition of an adult magazine!
Have you ever shoplifted? Did you get caught or get away clean?
When I was a kid, I started swiping little toys from a store. Then, I figured I would go a little bigger…I tried stuffing a police kit down my pants. It had the toy badge, cuffs, keys and whatever else a cop needs. As I was walking out of the store the manager busted me! It broke my Mom’s heart. She thought I always had everything I needed or wanted. When I look back on it, there were plenty of reasons for my actions. I was testing boundaries, in my opinion. As an adult in my previous career, I was constantly taking tape measures from the home improvement stores. I would measure something in the store to verify the numbers I had written down. I never intended to steal them! I would just clip it on my pants and forget about it. If you ask anyone who used to work with me, they wouldn’t believe it. I used to borrow tools from everybody I worked with. I hated wearing a tool belt! Honestly, I never got out of the parking lot without realizing I had taken the tape measures and I usually would take them back and leave them on a shelf somewhere anonymously.
Peace, Love and Good Happiness Stuff! – Ray the Intern
My life is spiraling out of control! My wife and I split up after she caught me kissing another woman. It meant nothing. We were all at a party and I was drunk. She still threw me out. I had nowhere to go, so I contacted the other woman and she is letting me stay with her. I only wanted a place to stay, but now, she's made it clear that sex is part of the deal. She is a lot older than me. I still love my wife and would do anything to get her back. I told her ' the kiss' wasn't cheating because I was drunk and the woman cornered me in the bathroom and shut the door. I was helpless. You must know what I'm talking about. I'm sure you've been there. What do I do?
Ben
Slacker thinks this OPP is going to be more about yelling at a dud who is making bad decisions. He wants to know what this guy is thinking!! Call a buddy or go to the YMCA! Don’t call the woman involved! There are a million other places you can go. Slacker has had this situation happen to him, but he’s assessed it based on his relationship status. It’s either been NO! or no? Put your hand in front of your face. Put your hand in front of HER face. Exit the bathroom. Something! That said, he thinks Ben is an idiot! There are at least eight levels of this OPP. You can call and yell about any one of them. Can you use alcohol as an excuse to kiss someone? Slacker thinks you can, maybe…Slacker apologizes to Ben, but if you claim to be in love with your wife, be a man! Slacker seems to believe Ben is trying to be a victim in this case. Every other sentence sounds like Ben is being victimized.
Steve thinks Ben is done. He thinks Ben kind of wanted it to be over. He’s totally trying to play victim!
Have you ever been cornered by someone trying to kiss you? What did you do?
I have been trapped by a co-worker in a service elevator! She tried to lay one on me and I couldn’t get out fast enough! She also tried to catch me in a walk-in cooler once. Eventually, she quit the job she had and I didn’t have to sweat it anymore. Why not just ask me to go have a drink? There was an exhibitionist inside that particular woman, I’m sure of it! I found it to be flattering, but there’s a time and place for everything…
Peace, Love and Good Happiness Stuff! – Ray the Intern
Steve had a friend who had a run in with one of his teacher. His friend had a buddy who wanted to punch some guy at the bar that was upsetting him. Steve’s friend looked around and realized this “jerk” turned out to be his old P.E. teacher, Mr. Nagle. So he tried to be the intermediate guy. Walks up to Mr. Nagle and explains that he had him as a gym teacher. Unfortunately, Mr. Nagle felt the same way about the guy who wanted to fight him in the first place.
Slacker makes the comment that this is what guys have to do at a bar. It’s part of being a wing man! Negotiate the situation and bring it down a notch. Then just make sure the two drunks avoid each other throughout the remainder of the evening.
Steve’s past also includes smokin’ up with an old photography class teacher in the dark room. No one is allowed in there, so it was a safe place to partake…Steve claims he wouldn’t do it now. If he saw him today, he would only call him by his first name, Bob, not Mr. Anderson.
Slacker has not run into any of his old teacher. He had a teacher named Mr. Madson. He credits him with making a difference in his life and told him to go do whatever you want to do. He was also brewed beer! Slacker stayed up late and watched him on a feel good story on the news and remembers thinking what a cool guy he was for being on TV.
Slacker bets that his teachers could beat Steve’s teacher’s butts! See, Slacker’s teacher were all in Longmont, so they have street smart and Steve’s teacher were all in the Dakota’s and from farm country. Steve agrees that Slacker’s right, but Steve’s insists that his teacher’s were hotter.
Have you ever had an awkward run in with a teacher?
I had a few run-ins with one my old teacher’s from grade school. He became a police officer of my hometown, so I ran into him a lot in my early 20’s. Stuff like speeding, late night parties and asking me who the people were moving illegal substances in town, etc. Nothing awkward, but I still see him as my P.E. Teacher to this day. Not a cop!
Peace, Love and Good Happiness Stuff! – Ray the Intern
You’re supposed to respect their authority and learn everything you know from them…but that’s in the halls of the school. We want to hear about your awkward run in with a teacher outside of school!
Share your story here!
I can’t recall any awkward run ins with any of my teachers outside of school but I know I had some uncomfortable ones in inside the school…I had a huge crush on a math teacher, I was also one of his best students. I got suspended from school one time, (whole other story) and when I got back he lectured me in his office with the whole class right outside. I was embarrassed because of my crush on him but it was even worse when I came out of his office, beet red and having to face all my classmates.
Returners! by Slacker And Steve,posted Jun 14 2012 7:46PM
Yi!
A new survey of 2,000 women is showing that one in eight women has bought expensive clothes, worn them once and returned them the next day!! Experts are saying that they believe the number is likely much higher but people are too ashamed to admit it. 18% of these women said they did it because they enjoyed the “buzz” and nearly half of them say they were driven by money and the economy…
Steve may be conscious of his money but doesn’t go to that extent. Slacker and Steve are amazed at the things that people get away with returning, and never thought some of them were even possible!
What have you returned and how?
I can’t say I haven’t thought of buying something nice, wearing it once, and returning it right away but I don’t have the time or money to go for the purchase in the first place. Going back shortly after is completely out of the question for me. I have to admit, at first I thought it was funny but after pondering it for a few minutes, I’m a little irritated. Sooner or later all these stores are just going to ban returns all together and then what happens to the people that really did get a bad dress or one that doesn’t fit???
Justin and his wife of five years have a son who is also 5. Justin says in his OPP letter that he and his wife have fallen completely out of love. They have grown apart on top of having money troubles and no longer sharing the same interests. His friends think that he should leave her since he’s not happy. His parents think that they should stay together for the sake of their son and try counseling. He’s very confused and not sure which way to go…
Slacker and Steve’s parents have all stayed together so don’t know what a divorce would be like for a kid. Steve has heard that it’s better for the kids for the parents to split up and he agrees. Slacker has been through a divorce but didn’t have kids at the time so he didn’t have that extra weight on the decision to split up.
What do you suggest for the un-happy couple?
I’m proud to say that my parents have been together for 30+ years so I’ve never had to deal with the divorce stuff. However, I strongly believe that life is way too short to spend it with someone who doesn’t make you happy. Plus, I don’t think that parents are doing any justice to the kids by staying in a visibly un-happy relationship. So I think Justin and his wife should do some counseling as a last step to possibly save the marriage or to figure out how to make the best of a tough situation by planning how to part ways and let their son know that it has nothing to do with him.
She enjoys double dating with her BFF and their husbands...He can't stand the BFF's husband and no longer wants to spend time with him...Brian wants Noel to go off and do her own thing with her BFF and let him off the double date hook. Noel wants Brian to accept that those people mean a lot to her and he should learn to deal with him.
Whose side are you on?
Slacker and Steve think that if Brian bails on the double dates the other couple will catch on and think that he thinks he's too good for them. Slacker, being the married one, thinks that compromise is what could just save this argument.
I've had plenty of friends that didn't like each other and after a while had to learn that, that was just the way it was. I chose to start spending time with them separately and things got a bit easier for me.
We found out that someone at the radio station has been tipping with concert tickets! Is it ever okay to tip with anything other than cash?
Calling all waiters, waitresses, or people in the service industry (yes, strippers are included). Sometimes we have those who we serve that will not tip with money.
Slacker and Steve aren't fans of this, and even Steve will try to make himself stand out to the server by tipping an extra five bucks (big spender). Tipping without cash, however, is not always a justifiable thing (sunblock as a tip is not okay), but sometimes items such as concert tickets are nice to have.
With neither intern having experience as a waiter or waitress, Brandon did have experience as being a bus boy. He was lucky enough to even get a tip, much less expect one in cash. Although we wouldn't complain if a couple of tickets to Ed Sheeran just so happened to land on our table (unless you share tips with other waiters/waitresses, which we would say "FORGET THAT!" and take the tickets for ourselves).
What is the weirdest thing you received or gave as a tip?
Some jobs suck and make your life pure hell…that’s why sometimes it’s fun to return the favor!
Are you stuck in a dead-end job? That you hate? That's making you miserable and sick? Have you considered trying to get fired? You know -- doing your job so poorly that your boss has no choice but to fire you? The benefits might be nice ... You could get a severance package and unemployment payments. This beats quitting -- and getting nothing.
Slacker pointed out a time when Steve once "tried to get fired" when he was working a different on-air shift at the station. Slacker was an intern at the time, and Steve was doing the minimum amount of work to get by because of a new boss. Steve would be fine on-air, but afterwards would be the biggest jerk to walk the halls of the station. Slacker even admits he was a little relieved when Steve eventually did get fired.
Both of us have had jobs that we hated, and Brandon admits he would rock the boat when working for his dad's construction company, though never with the intention of getting fired. There might have been the occasional name calling, but luckily everyone was a good sport (or good enough to not fire anyone...)
What lengths would you go to in order to get fired?
She got married and you’ll never believe what she did to some of her closest friends and family. Lindsey joined us live on the air today, but here is the OPP letter she sent us:
Yi! I got married a few months ago. I got the meanest email from a couple who r.s.v.p.'d to our wedding but didn't show up. No reason, no excuse, no apology note, and no gift. So I sent them a bill. I sent them what it cost us for their two seats....$175. They knew about our financial situation. Did I have the right to send them a bill? Is it okay to bill wedding guests for no-shows?
Lindsey
Slacker, having been married twice before, shares her sentiments about how expensive caterers can be. However, both Slacker and Steve believe she is fighting rude with rude (RSVPing yes and not showing is rude, and so is sending the no-shows a bill for their seats) saying what she did was cool but they weren't sure if it was really the right way to approach the situation (or maybe this will be the future of dealing with wedding no-shows).
Since neither of us is married, it's hard to knowledgeably weigh in on this subject but both of us interns would not do this ourselves. Fighting rude with rude is an interesting and bold stance and these guests not apologizing or anything was very rude, but with it only being two guests not showing it seems a little harsh to bill them.
What would you do to your no-show wedding guests? Do you have any advice for Lindsey?
Bizarre ER by Slacker and Steve,posted Jun 13 2012 5:40PM
A 69-year-old man recently went to a Manchester, England hospital after he got a ring-shaped object stuck on his manhood. An air cut-off tool, which is normally used to cut off car pedals during a rescue, was used to cut off the sex toy.
Slacker heard of a guy who would stick AA Batteries up his backside...not sure if he started with smaller batteries and upgraded to AA but it still led to what was probably a pretty unpleasant trip to the ER (we're positive on that one...battery pun intended).
This was a far less gruesome story than some of those shared on the air (i.e. having a live cockroach crawl in your ear).
KKK Highway by Slacker and Steve,posted Jun 12 2012 8:54PM
A group affiliated with the Ku Klux Klan wants to "adopt" a mile-long stretch of highway in Georgia. The Georgia Department of Transportation is reviewing a request filed by International Keystone Knights of the KKK in Union County. They want to help clean up part of Route 515 in the Appalachian Mountains. A decision is expected to be announced soon. The person who filed the request was quoted as saying: "We just want to clean up the doggone road. We're not going to be out there in robes." It's not the first time the KKK has been part of an "Adopt-a-Highway" program. In 2000, they successfully adopted part of Interstate 55 in Missouri after a judge ruled that the Missouri Department of Transportation couldn't keep the group out of the cleanup program. The Georgia KKK group has already said it will file a lawsuit if the state rejects its application.
I can't make my mind up on this one. I totally disagree with everything that the KKK stands for, but at the same time they are trying to do something for the good of the community. Steve mentioned that he thought more people would liter on this section of highway and I have to agree with him. I guess I believe that allowing them to adopt a section of highway would cause more harm than good.
What do you think? Do you think they should be able to adopt the road?
Cursed by Slacker and Steve,posted Jun 12 2012 8:49PM
Slacker and Steve know someone that works in an office that is cursed! Apparently, the "candy dish girl" in this office was fired. When she cleaned out her stuff, she left behind the candy dish. After a few weeks, another co-worker took the abondoned dish to their desk and then they got canned! Now, no one wants the candy dish at their desk out of fear they'll become its next victim!
The only thing that I ever came close to thinking was cursed was a pair of basketball shoes I wore in high school. The team bought the same shoes and all I did was talk about how much I hated them and how I wanted to get a different pair. Within a month, I had sprained my ankle and tore cartilidge in my knee...and I know it was all because of those shoes!
Yi! My buddy has been married for 7 years. His wife informed him that she was on her last pack of birth control and after it's gone it's all up to you. When he asked her what she meant she said she wanted to have a baby and if it's not with you then it's going to be with someone else. He was totally blind-sided. He doesn't know what to do now. He isn't thrilled to have kids right now. He says they aren't in a good place to have kids right now. He doesn't know what to do now. He doesn't want his marriage to end, but he also doesn't want to have a baby right now. Suggestions?
Joe
I think Joe's buddy is in a world of hurt here. I think that every man knows that when a woman sets her mind on having a baby there is no talking her out of it. Being a guy, I agree with Joe's friend that it is better to wait until you are financially able to support another life to have a baby. In short, Joe's buddy better get a second job and give his wife what she wants!
How does Joe's friend convince his wife to wait without losing the relationship?
We have a list of the top 10 brattiest cities in the United States:
1. New York, NY
2. Brooklyn, NY
3. Miami, FL
4. Minneapolis, MN
5. Tulsa, OK
6. Dallas, TX
7. Atlanta, GA
8. Los Angeles, CA
9. San Diego, CA
10. Ft. Worth, TX
If you noticed, Colorado did not make the list, but we know there are some brats out there, so it’s time to rat out the brat…Do you know one?
I saw a few brats the other day in a food chain restaurant. I was so irritated! They were touching everything, complaining about everything and wouldn’t even get out of the way!
A huge storm passed through the Denver metro area last night. Steve’s house happened to be smack dab in the middle of it all. So Steve, in his infinite wisdom, decided he was going to avoid the storm and drive around it. He just purchased a brand new AUDI and there was no way he was going to put his prize possession in harm’s way. After all, it’s his dream car. He’s spent years saving money for this purchase.
After the show, he headed north on C-470 up to I-70. He stopped at a mall in Lakewood to take cover in a parking garage to protect the car from the impending storm. Steve’s friends are texting him and tracking the system’s progress and its’ general direction. After being parked for about an hour or so, he notices blue skies to the west. He starts the drive into the foothills with the goal of going to the Eisenhower tunnel if he has to. As he’s cruising through the mountains, he spots the exit for the Central City Parkway and figures, why not? Go to the Isle, watch the basketball game, do a little gambling and then head home. The storm will surely have passed by that time. This is what offers Steve peace of mind. Besides, Slacker and Steve have a friend who bartends at the Isle. This rationalizes Steve’s decision to drive west and far. Steve calls Slacker and asks if he wants to say “Hi” to their buddy. At that point it dawns on Slacker that Steve is in Blackhawk! WTF?
He now knows, with that car, he can outrun any storm at any time…along with spending $50.00 in gas and losing $100.00 in 3 card poker! Well worth it in Steve’s mind…
Is Steve a Tool or a Genius?
I rode my motorcycle home last night just before the storm hit my neighborhood. I did consider waiting it out, but I never considered outrunning it! A couple of years ago, we had a similar storm hit my area late at night. We had some people over and all 6 cars were totaled by the hail that pummeled the area! I get what Steve was so concerned about. I just don’t know if I would simply run away from Mother Nature! I’d classify Steve as a man with too much time on his hands!
Peace, Love and Good Happiness Stuff! – Ray the Intern
Scammed by Slacker And Steve,posted Jun 7 2012 7:53PM
Yi!
A man walked up to Penny Marshall at a Lakers game and claimed he was Lamar Odom’s assistant. He gave Penny “Lamar’s number” before she and “Lamar” began texting. “Lamar” asked Penny to loan his assistant $5,000. She lent him the money and soon after realized she had been scammed!
Another woman from Portsmouth, NH met a guy on a dating website and he convinced her to lend him what amounted to $25,000! He promised to pay her back double the amount borrowed once he returned from a job in Egypt. To make things even worse, she borrowed money from the family to give to him because she didn’t have it.
Slacker doesn’t understand how people get scammed these days and Steve blames the girl, even though he has been scammed before. They both agree that as soon as you see or hear the word “overseas”, it is a HUGE red flag! Steve bought speakers from a guy who said that his boss had “all these extra speakers in stock” and was trying to unload them from a van in a parking lot. Steve still holds to the fact that he got a good deal on a great set of speakers.
How have you scammed or been scammed?
What the heck are these people thinking?! I can’t understand for the life of me why anyone would give money to people they don’t know, especially the kind of cash that these people have been taken for.
Today’s OPP is from James, a father of three teenage boys. New neighbors have moved in with teenage daughters, who like to do yard work in tank tops and bikini bottoms. Though James knows that “boys will be boys,” he doesn’t like that his sons are checking out the neighbors daughters. He wants to let the neighbors know what’s going on and ask them to cover their daughters up a bit.
Slacker thinks that it’s OK if James tells the neighbors what’s going on, while Steve thinks James should keep quiet or he will come off as the creepy neighbor.
How would you handle this situation?
Here’s what I think…Boys will be boys, but the girls are not clueless as to what they’re doing either. James shouldn’t go out of his way to make it a big deal, but maybe in passing could make a light comment about having two sets of opposite sex teenagers as neighbors. Then the neighbor might think about it and choose to do something on his own.
She ran out of gas…and he’s upset about who she called for help! She says it was simply convenience and didn’t mean anything… Allison was a long way from home when she ran out of gas. Instead of calling her husband, Colby, she called her ex-boyfriend because he would be able to get to her faster. Colby is upset because he knows that the ex is still interested in her, she thinks it’s not a big deal.
Slacker and Steve both feel that Allison is enjoying being in the middle of Colby and her ex. But Slacker, being the married man with kids, also thinks that Colby should be happy that she was rescued much sooner than if he had to come from Superior to help her.
Whose side are you on?
Being a poor student, I constantly fear that I will run out of gas whenever I’m far from home. So if it ever happens, I’m going to make as many calls to whoever I can and be glad to see who ever shows up first. If the ex did more than give Allison gas, that’s when Colby should worry. But that’s just what I think…
Frenemy by Slacker And Steve,posted Jun 6 2012 1:01PM
Yi!!
We all know the saying, “Keep your friends close and your enemies closer,” and we have found a list of five signs that show you have a “frenemy.”
The first sign is jealousy. A jealous friend wants what you have and will always find a way to punish you for it. The second sign is there are never there for you. A true friend would be there for you when something bad happens, but if they’re not…maybe they just don’t care. The third sign is if they are draining you emotionally and psychologically and the fourth sign is if your friend is nice to you, but rude to other people. It’s a sign that they could turn on you at any moment. Finally, the last sign is when they burden you with secrets. Some secrets can weigh heavily on you, such as an affair.
Do you have a story about a “frenemy?”
I have quite a few frenemies, but of course they will remain nameless. I don’t like frenemies and I hate that this world has to come to that, but such is life…
Today, Vanessa joined us live on the air to discuss her OPP. Last year, she read ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ and things were great with her husband. Relations was on a high, but it still wasn’t enough for her. She tried to read other romantic novels but they always lost their luster. Now the only thing that gets her in the mood is when she is watching porn, but her husband is concerned that he’s just not enough for her anymore. She loves him and doesn’t want him to feel this way or lose him for that matter, so is there anything she can do to help him not feel that way?
I haven’t read ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ yet but I’ve heard a couple of people talking about it and how much better their relationships have gotten in the relations department. Unfortunately, I just don’t have an answer for Vanessa. I’ve watched a few porn’s in my time, but I don’t need them to get in the mood. She has to look elsewhere. There has to be another solution…I just don’t know it.
A few days ago, Steve was out and noticed a young girl walking around; clearly not old enough to drive, maybe 14-years-old and it looked as if she had a boob job. She was with her mother and all Steve could think about was how she could allow her daughter to do something like that to her body, especially at such a young age! He was in such disgust!
Although I don’t like to necessarily jump to conclusions, if this is true…I am right there with Steve. Does the mother know that your body continues to grow at that age…It can’t be good for her! What doctor would approve of this?
Vacation Injury by Slacker And Steve,posted Jun 5 2012 8:19PM
Yi!!
Vacation is supposed to be about tanning, fun and relaxation…but a new study shows that 20% of vacationers will get injured on their trip!
Slacker’s buddy Brent went to Mexico and got lit up in Cozumel, and like Slacker he rented a scooter. Well, in any place in Mexico, they put up speed bumps everywhere! They have signs that show 3 little speed bumps, but he was so drunk and couldn’t read the sign being that it was in a different language, so he hit it and flew off the scooter. He got road rashes, broke his collar bone and spent the rest of the vacation in a Mexican hospital.
My brother, when he was in high school, went on a trip with the band to Hawaii. While he was there they all decided to go out to the ocean and just hang out. While he was in the water, he got banged in the head by surfer! The blade cut his head open and he had to get stitches! What a way to ruin a beautiful trip to Hawaii!
In Ohio, a 23-year-old costumer of a Taco Bell got so angry that they didn’t give him a taco he ordered, so he went back, had a few words with the employees and then struck the restaurant’s glass entrance with his truck! Talk about a meltdown moment!
It may seem creepy, but Slacker and Steve love to stand by costumer service in a store so they can watch all the crazy’s come in and try to return something that they don’t even sell! The costumer always seems to have a meltdown moment and completely lose their cool.
When have you lost your cool?
I can usually go a certain amount of months before lashing out at the world and having a total meltdown moment. Most of the time, I’ll either meltdown in front of one person or while I’m alone. After that, I’m pretty bitter for a few hours and then I feel refreshed until another few months pass.
Yi! I'm 17, and have had relations with my boyfriend. we have done so without protection, he does pull out. i know there's still a risk of becoming pregnant, but part of me wants it. my mother had me as a teen, and i have two friends that are pregnant. both of my friends are happy and excited, and who can blame them? babies bring great joy to families. half of me hopes that i am pregnant, but the other half knows how hard being a teen parent is. the longer things go on, the more i want a baby. my boyfriend and i have tried to stop having relations and it doesn't last long. we have used protection before. but what can i do? as hard as it would be, I really want a baby. please help.
Lily
Slacker keeps reading the OPP again especially at the line, babies bring great joy to families…Everything he wants to say would make him sound like he is 70 years old. He wants to blame MTV and how much they’ve glorified it! It’s very overwhelming to be a parent! It’s ten billions times harder than the hardest thing he’s ever done and he knows when he was 17-years-old, he never would have been able to handle it. Also, if she thinks the boy is going to be handling it, then she has another thing coming because it’s going to be like a cartoon imprint with him running away.
Steve feels sorry for the girl’s mother because she is going to end up having to take care of the kid.
What advice do you have for Lily?
Ok, like Slacker said, has this girl seen 16 and Pregnant or Teen Moms on MTV! I think she would re-consider! Although I think it’s possible to get through life and be happy with having a child as a teen, I still think that’s taking away your twenties. You can’t do the things a normal teen would do. Finishing your education is a lot tougher and getting no sleep is not something a normal teen dreams of. I can’t just tell someone they shouldn’t have a child though, so all I can say it…think about it…
Last week we talked to Krista. Krista called us with her OPP. She had a problem with her best friend, Alyssa. She has been cheating on her husband and is asking Krista, who is also married, to cover for her. She doesn’t want to cover for her anymore. Alyssa will tell her husband that she’s going to a movie with Krista when she’s really going out with her guy on the side. Krista has to make up answers to questions like, how was your mani/pedi? Krista feels bad for Alyssa’s husband. She’s uncomfortable lying to him. If she stops being Alyssa’s alibi, she’s afraid that they’ll part ways as friends.
..And she may just be right because Alyssa called us up today! Alyssa is Krista’s friend! She was furious at us! Apparently Krista decided to tell Alyssa’s husband that she was having an affair and now Alyssa has gone off the deep-end! She is convinced we convinced Krista to tell and now she is on a mission to ruin our lives because we ruined hers. We tried to tell her we didn’t convince her, only gave her advice, but Alyssa wouldn’t listen. She’s very determined and ready to call our boss.
Left On Car by Slacker And Steve,posted Jun 5 2012 5:17PM
Yi!!
Seriously? Talk about a bad parent…A 19-year-old mother in Arizona was at the park with her boyfriend and her one-month-old baby while smoking marijuana and drinking beer! When they ran out of beer, they went to get more but her boyfriend was pulled over for a DUI, so she went to a friend’s house to smoke some more. Finally, she decided to leave her friends place, but took off leaving the baby on the roof of the car in her car seat! The baby fell off as she was driving and was luckily uninjured, but she never even noticed until she got home. She turned back and was later arrested for aggravated DUI and child abuse. The child is now with child services.
When Slacker was with his now ex-wife, he was driving in a sketch part of town and he needed to get some gas. So, he stopped really fast and asked his then wife for her purse. He had to dig through her purse to get the card out and he tried to hurry. As soon as it popped, he put it back, said no receipt and started to drive away. As he was, this guy jumped out in front of his car and the guy told him he left a purse on the top of his car!
What have you left on your car?
Our intern Ray has left his phone on the top of his car before, but luckily for him he never lost it. It was so hot outside it practically stuck! The only thing I’ve ever left on the roof of my car would be a soda and driving off hearing a big splash. Nothing like a baby…wow!
Despite what guys would like to believe, science has actually proven that there are a lot of things that women do a whole heck of a lot better than men!
According to a number of studies, here are some pretty cool things that women excel at:
Women interview better than men for jobs.
They are more likely to graduate college.
Women have stronger immune systems.
They are better investors.
Source courtesy of Cosmo Magazine
In regards to the topic at hand, Slacker reminds Steve of the fact that he’s married and his wife has to live with him. Steve is not so secure because of his relationship status. Slacker advises Steve to choose his words wisely. Slacker agrees that women have stronger immune systems. He believes it because Cosmo published it!
Steve feels that women’s bodies are better prepared to protect the children. Women are a lot worse than men when it comes to negotiating contracts. Strictly opinions he’s ingested from other sources, of course! Steve reassures Slacker that everyone can tell their voices apart and tries to confuse the audience by switching their positions.
What do you do better than your guy? What does your girl do better than you?
My wife has phenomenal organizational skills. If it wasn’t for her, I’d be in living in a cardboard box! For sure! She also is a very good public speaker. The word engaging always comes up in conversation when people describe her presentation skills. She has a double Master’s degree. She made college a full-on career for something like 9 years! I would also have to add that she is an excellent travel companion. This is opposed to some of the dudes I have travelled alongside. Thanks, Babe! In other words, I agree to a point.
Peace, Love and Good Happiness Stuff! – Ray the Intern
Butt Injuries by Slacker and Steve,posted Jun 4 2012 7:27PM
Yi!!
Butt Injuries can be serious or hilarious, depending on your point of view.
For Example:
Harrisburg, Pennsylvania police officer William Owens recently shot his wife in the butt by accident. He was showing his gun to family and friends when it accidentally discharged several times. Owens has been suspended without pay as his superiors try to determine if he was being reckless. His wife is OK.
Steve has no butt story. He has always protected himself. That’s why he sucked as an athlete. Steve was too concerned with himself. There may not be an "I" in team, but there has always been an "I" in Steve.
Slacker fell on his butt when he was a kid riding a skateboard. He felt he was ready for a challenge while still trying to learn to ride. He figured he would go to a nice tall hill and skate down. At the top he started out great, until he leaned back! You would figure that leaning forward would be a better choice, but instinct is a learned trait. Grossing Steve out discussing tough scabs and the sore butt he had for like 6 weeks pleases Slacker!
What’s your most embarrassing or painful Butt Injury?
When I was learning to ride a BMX bike as a kid, I always tried to ride wheelies while sitting down. The only problem with riding this way is your judgment is a bit skewed by the speed you are traveling. When you are on only one wheel, you have to control your speed to maintain balance. Needless to say, when it was time to bail I landed square on my tail. I also knocked the wind out of myself. You should’ve seen the look on my friends’ face. He didn’t know whether to laugh, cry or panic. It’s not the only time I’ve injured my posterior and I’m positive it won’t be the last.
Peace, Love and Good Happiness Stuff! – Ray the Intern
Yi! My husband and I were drinking over the weekend and he said something very hurtful to me! We don't have any kids yet and he said he's not sure he wants to have kids with me because he doesn't think I'll be a good mom. Of course I was mad that night and made him sleep on the couch. He tried to talk to me the next day and explain that he really didn't mean it...he was just being a jerk because of the liquor. I believe that things said drunk are really thoughts kept inside while sober. Do you think he really meant what he said and is just trying to use the booze as an excuse? Does he really not want kids with me?
Kendra
Steve believes there’s nothing worse that you can say to a female. She’s never going to forget it. She might forgive him, but she’ll never forget! Steve thinks she is never going to get passed this. He feels the relationship is doomed.
Slacker wants to get other people’s opinions before putting in his two cents. What reason would this guy have to say this? Slacker would probably just have a sexual innuendo to blurt out, nothing serious. Usually, when he’s drunk, he is trying to get into a woman’s clothes, nothing deep! He can’t tell if this guy meant it or not.
I think drinking creates lots of odd dynamics between couples. The fact that Kendra is questioning her husband is too little, too late! The two of them should have covered that long before getting engaged, right? Not good for either person to have a great memory when you are hammered. The kid topic definitely demands more attention, but not when the parties involved are drinking. Let it lie and move on. Plan a time to talk about children. If you don’t like the way he speaks his mind when he’s drunk? Walk away. Remember, he’ll probably either come clean in the end or keep track of the times you drink, what you say when you’re drunk and he’ll continuously stay on the defensive.
Peace, Love and Good Happiness Stuff! – Ray the Intern
Slacker lost his phone! After searching a million different places, he retraced his steps and thought of all the places had he been. He was sitting in the house and totally asked the universe for a bit of help. What was he forgetting? He needs this frickin’ thing! Not praying, just thinking really hard. Wondering why the powers that be chose to take his phone! His whole life is in that phone! He would’ve offered one of his small children, but please don’t take the phone. No, not really! Suddenly, he remembered he had not checked one of the stores. He jumps in the car and drives to the Dollar Store. At the store, he asks the clerks if they had his phone. No luck! It was not there, either. As he’s walking back from the car, he steps across the median and, lo and behold, in the river rock was his little brown book case phone camouflaged by the rocks. Slacker insists it was Divine Intervention. How else would he have known to go to that store as a last resort?
Steve has never prayed for divine intervention. He hates when people ask God for things. He’s thankful that Slacker asked for guidance, assistance the strength or help as opposed to “God, give me my phone back!” Steve also reminds Slacker how well Steve knows him and how crappy a guy he is when it comes to looking in every place Slacker has been to try and find things. Steve swears it would have come to him and he would’ve remembered without any "intervention".
Slacker and Steve aren’t trying to go all metaphysical or religious. They just want to know…Have you ever had something happen and it felt like there had to be a greater power intervention in your life?
I believe in Karma. Good and Bad. I know that if you set your mind to something, you can truly will it to happen. I’m living proof. Take small steps towards the 10,000 ft. view and you will make progress. Today’s society lacks patience and instant gratification is an example of the things to come. Progress has no appreciation for the future unless we hold ourselves accountable.
Peace, Love and Good Happiness Stuff! – Ray the Intern
Drunk Or Kid by Slacker And Steve,posted Jun 1 2012 8:00PM
Yi!
It’s the first FrYiday of the month…you know what that means…Drunk or Kid!! Our first story is a guy vacationing in Mexico, bonding with his brother. As they were wondering around they found themselves behind the kitchen at the resort. A pet monkey of the staff bit his brother. As he was laughing at his brother he got bit as well…Drunk or Kid? KID! He was 9 and his brother was 12. The funny part was their parents were partying it up and figured since the skin didn’t get break, no need to have it checked!
Danny went to bed after a really, really long hard day. The people she was with couldn’t find her. They eventually found her underneath the dirty clothes in the laundry room! Drunk or Kid? KID! She was a toddler. Her parents we so scared because they had left the back door open. They called the police and searched for them in a huge panic!
Shannon was camping and roasting marshmallows for S’mores when the marshmallows she was holding caught fire! She brought the stick to her face to blow out the fire. The marshmallow was soft and flew off the stick onto her right cheek. She now has a scar! Drunk or Kid? Drunk!
What’s your story? Where you drunk or a kid?
I fell into a trash can that only had a dead rose bush in it. After I recovered from the fall, I realized I was bleeding from my forehead and my right forearm? I then had to be cared for by my best friend. Followed by a huge piece of humble pie. Drunk or a Kid? Drunk! Never go to a house warming party without eating and proceed to drink everything in sight!
Peace, Love and Good Happiness Stuff! – Ray the Intern
Krista called us with her OPP. She has a problem with her best friend, Alyssa. She has been cheating on her husband and is asking Krista, who is also married, to cover for her. She doesn’t want to cover for her anymore. Alyssa will tell her husband that she’s going to a movie with Krista when she’s really going out with her guy on the side. Krista has to make up answers to questions like, how was your mani/pedi? Krista feels bad for Alyssa’s husband. She’s uncomfortable lying to him. If she stops being Alyssa’s alibi, she’s afraid that they’ll part ways as friends.
Steve and Slacker agree that Alyssa is being rude by putting Krista in that position. Now Alyssa is simply taking advantage of the situation. Slacker and Steve are all about honesty. Slacker asked the not so fun question to Krista if she was using Slacker and Steve to put it out there by not thinking clearly by realizing that she put this problem out there for the principal players to put 2 and 2 together. Krista sounds a bit devastated. Slacker’s alliance is obviously to Steve, but eventually if he was put in a position similar to Krista’s, he would be like enough is enough. Stop it!
Steve reminds Krista that she has the upper hand on her friend. Whenever her friend gets short or uppity, she can remind Alyssa that she has her secret. Steve can see how, in the beginning, doing it a couple of times and being a great friend. He thinks this is a good thing that it is out in the open. Time for a solution! Steve would hope that he would respect Slacker’s friendship by not ever putting him in a similar position.
Should Krista continue to lie for her friend or ruin their friendship?
I wouldn’t put a friend in that position. Secret’s suck! Typically, lies can become an alternative lifestyle and that is always recipe for disaster. Plus you lose the friend you might have had for a lifetime.
Peace, Love and Good Happiness Stuff! – Ray the Intern
Rude Or Not by Slacker And Steve,posted Jun 1 2012 6:59PM
Yi!!
Are you a dental hygienist, hair dresser, manicurist, waiter or one of those people? Do you talk to your clients?
Slacker isn’t a rude guy. Aside from the reference to “these people”! Slacker and Steve are super talkative all the time, but not rude. So at certain times in his life, like when he used to go get his hair done or “hair did”, he wants some peace and quiet. When he gets off work, he’s talking. At home, he knows he’s walking into an environment of screaming kiddo’s and talking to the wife because she hasn’t had an adult conversation all day. He can only request that he be left alone by service people. Even going to the extreme of offering people a larger tip if the play the “who can be quite longer” game with him. What are Slackers’ solutions? He goes into a bar by himself. Other ideas include putting a TV on the ceiling at the dentist office or wear headphones when you walk into an establishment.
Is it rude to tell people that are performing a service on you that you don’t want to talk to them?
I talk to everyone. If I don’t like the conversation, I’ll change the topic. One of my defense mechanisms or habits is to just say “right” to anything the person might say. I just figure opportunities present themselves in weird ways. Maybe you’re there just to listen and not talk for a change. I can always practice listening.
Peace, Love and Good Happiness Stuff! - Ray the Intern
Foot In Mouth by Slacker And Steve,posted Jun 1 2012 6:09PM
Yi!!
It's FrYiDay! Slacker’s foot in mouth happened during a visit from a few guests who came to visit and stayed for a few days. His home has a security system that chimes whenever there’s a breach at any access of the home. It may be annoying, but having that audio allows him to know exactly what is going on in his house. He hears the front door chime and shoots upstairs. He runs to strip the bedroom and considers bull-dozing that side of the house, considering the white trash family that just stayed in their house. As he’s flapping his jaws about whether or not they should wash the sheets or burn them, because the nastiness that is on this stuff is…
Well, as he’s coming down the stairs, the wife is still standing by the front door. The husband had taken all but one “bag” out to the car and they had not left as Slacker had assumed. He tried to play it off as if he was just kidding. Quite possibly might have pulled it off if he didn’t have the sheets in hand…hard to ignore the pure childish joy he was experiencing. The awkward silence ensued. Then he makes the sound you make when you’ve been shanked by someone in prison. How does Slacker know that sound? He heard it on TV in those prison shows, of course! Needless to say, no follow up thank you card, courtesy call…nothin’! Bye-Bye!
Have you ever stuck your foot in your mouth?
I’ve never stuck my foot in my mouth…ever! First I would have to possess the filter to realize that I am “occasionally” socially inappropriate!
Peace, Love and Good Happiness Stuff… Ray the Intern
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