Tell us what happened at your job that should have gotten you fired but didn't, and end your story with "(dot dot dot) and I still didn't get fired." One guy had relations with his bosses wife and his boss found out. Not only did the guy not get fired but his boss and his wife turned out to be swingers and he became a regular in a threesome. One guy was a waiter and wanted to get fired. During one shift he "accidentally" spilled a drink and a plate of food on one woman diner. Instead of getting fired the restaurant manager comped the woman free meals and paid for her dry-cleaning. The woman told the waiter, "You really need to find another profession." The guy responded, "I'm trying!".
Slacker tells a story of a guy whose job was to fertilize an entire golf course, spray for weeds, etc...but distracted and upset about something else going on in his life, he put way too much weedkiller and scorched the entire course by mistake. In then end, however, he didn't get fired! I think the worst I've done is call in sick when I wasn't...not exactly something to get fired over (but not something I am going to be blabbing about to my boss either).
What did you do while on the job that probably should have gotten you canned?