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Slacker & Steve's Blog



You Wouldn't Believe Me If I Told Ya

Yi!

Most of us have one crazy story to tell. It's your topper story that is almost too hard to believe! A 65-year-old grandmother who once hated the idea of swearing can no longer control her potty mouth since she suffered from a stroke. She even calls her grandchildren bad names when they're playing! Her husband is not fond of this new vocabulary so she has introduced a swear box since her stroke last January in an attempt to train her brain, and is also receiving help from psychologists. A toddler was playing with chopsticks and shoved them so far up his nose; they got stuck three inches in his brain! He went through four hours of surgery but is expected to make a full recovery.

Slacker said there was a lady who got pulled over by a cop and saw a little bag with a spoon in it in her back seat. He took the spoon, smelt it, and assumed it was meth. He arrested her and she spent a few weeks in jail! Missed her child's birthday and lost her job. Once the results came back to see what exactly was on the spoon, it turns out it was SPAGHETTIOS sauce! She is now suing the crap out of the police department.

Steve doesn't understand why she had SpaghettiO's without the meatballs?? It's the best part!?

What's your unbelievable story?

Intern Alli!

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OPP: Mean Girl Moms

Yi!

If you've ever had to deal with caddy women, today's OPP is going to need your help. Christine finally made some friends and now their true side is starting to come out. She wants to do what's best for her and her daughter without being dragged into the drama!

Yi! So, my daughter just started first grade and since she is my only child I didn't have any "mommy" friends through school until this year. She made fast friends with another little girl in her class and her mother and I have become close over the past month. She introduced me to a bunch of other school moms and we have been becoming friends, but I'm not sure if it's a good thing.
Here's the problem – these women are catty! They gossip and they are the equivalent of adult mean girls. My original friend, who is the mom of my daughter's new friend, is totally different when she isn't around them. I can't figure out who she truly is. I feel very uncomfortable hanging out with these women, but I'm afraid if I distance myself that my daughter or I will become the target of their meanness. How do I handle these women? I don't want this to impact my daughter's happiness at school, but I also don't want to be associated with such petty behavior! Please help!
Christine

Slacker says if she pulls out of this club that she will absolutely be pulled into the meanness! Slacker had like four or five different couple friends and if there was one day where they couldn't show up to their "event," he knew they were all talking trash about him not showing up! Slacker wonders if anyone who has ever been in the mean girl group finally speaks up and says, "I don't like talking about other people like this." He thinks it's possible!

Steve said we all need someone to turn on and it's on the one who doesn't show up for the day! She does have to walk a fine line though because this involves her daughter. The mom can handle it, but not her daughter. Steve says no one can pull off turning the group into nice girls, there will always be gossip.

What's your advice for her?

She should just act like she's busy most of the time! What are they going to say, "Man, this chick has a job that she goes to a lot!?" That way it won't drag onto her daughter.

Intern Alli!

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Outta Control Parties

A 16-year-old boy threw a house party when he found out his parents were heading out of town for the weekend. The party quickly spiraled out of control when as many as 70 kids and young adults from 11 local high schools showed up. The boy got scared when his drunken house guests began destroying his parents' property, stomping down fences and fighting so he called the cops on his OWN party!! At least 27 teens were arrested or ticketed. There were many bottles of alcohol and beer throughout the house. The police said it reeked of marijuana all over the house when they entered… No wonder he called!

Slacker says he was driving down the street on a Saturday night when cops flew around him and all of a sudden, he saw kids climbing over fences, throwing their drugs and bottles everywhere to avoid the MIP ticket! Slacker was there to pick up all their "garbage" though!

Steve said when he was in high school, the one weekend this nerdy girl's mom was out of town, she tried to throw a party to fit in. Everyone decided to go to the house just to destroy everything! Steve ended up feeling bad so he left early and some seniors were outside pulling axes out of their trunk. That's when he really realized it was time to leave.

What is the craziest, most out-of-control party you've been to?

Intern Alli!

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Hero

Yi!

Last weekend Mike Tyson and his entourage were driving in Las Vegas when they saw a motorcycle accident. Tyson allegedly stopped traffic so no one else would hit the motorcyclist. He is now deemed a hero. Another woman in Missouri saved her child's life when an SUV was speeding in a parking lot. She pushed her child out of the way just in time to save her life. The 33 year old woman passed away. Talk abuot a true hero!

Slacker and Steve think a lot of hero stories are very sad because it sometimes ends up in someone dying.
Slacker says Mike Tyson wasn't necessarily a hero because he stopped the first car from the motorcyclist getting hit. Then once the first couple cars stopped they stopped the traffic—not Mike.

Steve says Mike was a hero because everyone that was at the scene of the accident wanted to move the guy who was hurt. Tyson told everyone not to move him until help came.

What is your hero story?

Signed,
Intern Nikki

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OPP: Old Flames/ Friends At The Wedding

Yi!
Today's OPP is from Caitlin. Caitlin is getting married soon and she wants to invite her guy friend who she used to hook up with back in the day. Her fiancé says absolutely no way he can come to the wedding. Caitlin doesn't think that is fair because even if they did hook up he is still a good friend to her.

Slacker asked Caitlin how long ago did they sleep together. She answered two years ago. She claims they hooked up five or six times. Slacker asked do you think he has romantic feelings for her. She answered she doesn't think so. Slacker also asked if he is single or taken. Slacker thinks also at weddings there should be only one person in the room that that person has slept with. He thinks you are allowed to have best friends but you cannot sleep with them. Caitlin says this is not a big deal and he should be allowed at her wedding because they have a lot of history together and they have been friends for a very long time.

Steve thinks that her fiancé is in the right not to invite him. Steve asked her is her fiancé knows her friend and she replied yes and that the two get along great.

Should Caitlin be able to invite her friend? What advice do you have for her?

I think Caitlin should be able to have her friend attend their wedding because if the two men already know each other and get along then what is the harm in him attending the wedding.

Signed,
Intern Madison

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GMD: Can't Break Up

Yi!

Slacker asked how long Allison is planning on staying with the other man. She replied by saying she will decide when the time is right. Ben said it is ridiculous because Allison is being intimate with both men. Allison said it's not fair because he is telling her what to do and she was with the other man first. She also said she decides when to start/ end relationships. Ben says it's not a right situation. Slacker asked Ben why he's dating Allison when she's dating two people. He also asked if Ben could trust her if she commits solely to him. He said yes that he could. Slacker said a lot of people are going to judge both of them and call both of them stupid, but this is the Great Mate Debate.

Steve is confused by the whole debate. He said it is very murky waters.

Whose side are you on?

I think Allison should break up with the first guy, definitely. If she has been with Ben for majority of her and the other guy's relationship then why be in it in the first place?

Signed,
Intern Madison

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Who You Wrote & What You Got

Yi!

We've all wanted to get some attention from someone of importance. Have you ever sent a letter to the President or your favorite actor and been lucky enough to actually get a response! Or sent a letter to a company, a restaurant for example, and got unlimited dessert?! Taylor Swift had invited fans over to her house to hear her new music and even had regular Sky Vodka at her house, nice!

Slacker says there are websites that are devoted to this whole practice, saying stuff like write a letter five times a day. Say something nice, get something free; say something mean, get something free. Basically teaching people how to write to companies to get what they need! Slacker says he thinks people will complain even if nothing was wrong just to get free stuff and can live off of that. Slacker sometimes hates complaining and just getting coupons for the thing that he didn't even enjoy!

Steve wrote the President once to ask if he did the final walk through of the White House to make sure it was clean enough! You know, just like you would when you leave an apartment. Steve wrote a hotel once and they gave him some of his money back. Steve sent a picture of his broken bat that was only a few weeks old back to the company and they sent him brand new ones.

Who did you write and what did you get?

Intern Alli!

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Blaze of Glory

Yi!

You've probably seen the video of the news anchor in Alaska quitting her job on Sunday night. She was doing a live broadcast when she admitted she was the actual owner of the 'Alaska Cannabis Club.' She then drops the F-bomb and quit while walking off camera. Sometimes there is no better way to quit a job than making a huge scene or a grand exit.

Slacker and Steve are jealous that they can't ever quit in an epic way. They tried to quit and Slacker pretty much broke parts of his microphone so he'll probably be fired here sometime soon. The thing about quitting epically is you can't put that boss on your resume anymore.

Steve says they would get fined if they quit in a cool way, so he wants Slacker to do it and he'll just follow.

Have you quit a job in a blaze of glory?

Intern Alli!

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OPP: Stuck in Marriage

Yi!

For better or worse, it's one of the vows every married couple makes to each other. Today's OPP is going through a "worse" period and it may be something their marriage can't survive.

Yi,
I have been with my husband since we were in high school. We got married young and had our first baby 9 months ago. Our story was the typical small town love story--he was the star football player and I was the popular girl. My problem is that he has let himself go in the last few years. He has gained almost 100 pounds and has basically given up on life. He has no drive and sits on the couch whenever he's not at work. This is not what I signed up for. I want to give my son the best life possible with both of his parents in it, but I also can't see a future with someone that has no ambition. He is not the man I married anymore and I feel stuck. What do I do?
Ashley

Slacker thinks you should just drop all the wedding vows. Isn't "for better or for worse" something like he/she got cancer, or got hurt? This guy is letting this happen to himself so does she have to stay? If you're the coolest dude in high school, you really only go down from there. He has given up and she is still trying to go forward with life. Slacker says you need to be the best version of yourself.

Steve applauded Slacker saying something like that; he thinks everyone is stuck already. He said he's not doing his part anymore. Steve thinks Ashley is just over it. Love is not always worth it.

What should she do?

Intern Alli!

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Lengths for Love

Yi!

A man waited in line for two whole days to get the new iPhone 6! He was buying it for his estranged wife because after 20 years of marriage, she left him. He says it was 'entirely his own fault' and he was a 'bad husband and father' so he's hoping this new phone will win his wife over for a second chance.

Slacker said he would go back to his ex-wife for an iPhone 6, easily. There is a fine line between I'm trying to be the man you want me to be and I'm stalking you to get inside your head. Slacker said he ate weird food for a year for a girl because he knew what time she went to lunch… Interesting!

Steve says you have to romance your girl or he will!

What lengths have you gone for love?

Intern Alli!

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I Witness News

Yi!

There was a family who was able to walk the Twin Towers on September 10th 2001 right before it closed for the night and never re-opened the next day due to high winds. They were the last people to ever stand there!

Slacker wants to know first off, is it "I witness news?" Or "Eye witnessed news?!" For Slacker, when he was younger he was driving down the road with his family and this guy on a motorcycle was flying by. About 15 minutes later there was all this chaos ahead and he saw the motorcyclist's helmet in the street and then saw his bike with his body… At that time, he didn't get it; he just saw a lot of blood. Now that he's older, he realizes that his head was still in the helmet.

Steve once knew a girl who went on a blind date with a guy but never called back for the 2nd date because the guy seemed 'off.' She then saw him on America's Most Wanted as a rapist criminal!! Talk about gut instincts!

Have you ever been witness to an incredible or un-real event?

Intern Alli!

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Terrified


Yi!

You've probably seen the video from the JetBlue emergency landing last week. We can't imagine how terrifying it would be to be stuck in a smoke filled plane! Or if your family was being attacked by aggressive monster Hobo spiders! Not kidding, these spiders don't run from humans, they attack if you get close and can put someone in surgery after just one bite!

Slacker says he is not scared of flying at all but seeing this video of a smoked filled airplane, scares the living crap out of him! Only once in his life has the oxygen masks all come down at once and he says your body does weird things. Slacker doesn't do spiders at all!

Steve is surprised they all whipped out their phones to take pictures and started clapping before they were even out of the plane. Steve has literally only one fear in life and that is… Pregnancy!!!

Have you ever experienced something terrifying?

Intern Alli!

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OPP: Daughter's Halloween Costume

Yi!

Halloween is one of the funnest holidays for kids. Today's OPP comes from Shannon and she may completely ruin it for her daughter...and when you hear why you might be just as upset as our OPP.

Yi guys! My daughter is 7 and she is obsessed with Katy Perry. She knows almost every word to all of her songs and constantly listens to her on the iPod. She told me she wanted to be Katy for Halloween this year and showed me a picture of how she wanted to dress up. It was totally inappropriate! A short skirt and little top with a purple wig. I said absolutely not but my husband says we'd be hypocritical to tell her that it's okay to listen to Katy Perry and sing like her but not be her for Halloween. His exact words were, "We can put leggings under the skirt and girls wear smaller tops than that to the pool." I don't want to send my daughter the wrong message at such a young age. What should we do?
Shannon

Slacker says he loves that Halloween still brings the grown women to be the naughty nurse, but doesn't enjoy it as a dad sometimes. He says it's kind of become an adult holiday now. His daughter wanted a costume and it was a fairy costume so he bought it for her. Now he's thinking if it's the wrong person who is looking at her in the little fairy skirt, that person will judge her anyway. When you have a daughter of your own, everything changes.

Steve says you can't stop the inappropriate thoughts, but you can change the outfit. Steve wants to know what the downside is to the Katy Perry costume for the little girl. She's going to be supervised; she won't be alone, so why can't she just wear it.

Lil D says now that he has a daughter, he wouldn't want his daughter in the Katy Perry costume because when kids are kids; Halloween is about hearing, "Omg that costume is so awesome! Look at you!" He doesn't want them to be saying that to her when she's dressed as Katy Perry.

What's your advice for her?

Intern Alli!

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Working Wasted

Yi!

A new study found that 10% of Americans go to work high! That's a lot of waking and baking. Some workplaces surely have more stoners than others. Take the food service industry, for example, it's notorious for smoking out. On the other hand, one would think brain surgeons or judges would be likely to stay away from the hippie lettuce. One judge from Iowa was suspended for showing up to work drunk!

Slacker feels like his whole studio is tipping over, he's a little wasted currently. Slacker says the beer tap is closer to the studio then the water is so… When Slacker used to work for the airlines, he said there were pilots who would get the little bottles of alcohol and would down them before taking off or landing! That's sketchy, but that airline is no longer in business.

Steve said that back in the day, one weekend he did meth. He had a shift that Sunday and hadn't stopped partying yet so he was on air, live, high for about four hours, nice! This was over seven years ago FYI!

Have you ever gone to work high? What do you do for a living?

I'm a waitress. Do I need to say more?

Intern Alli!

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Love

Yi!

Slackers Daughter asked him, "Daddy, what is love?" And he didn't know how to answer the question.

Slacker's daughter is obsessed with iPad. She texts him fun emoticons and stuff. She likes the heart shaped emoticons so he always tells his kids he loves them. She went up to him and asked him what love is. He was at a loss for words. He wants an answer for himself. He doesn't even know how to being to describe it. He read a definition that describes passion, affection, and interpersonal connections.

Steve doesn't think love is real. And if people over use it, it loses its luster. He uses the face as a metaphor. He told Slacker to point to his face. He pointed to his cheek and Steve said no, that's your cheek. So love is a collection of things that make up a bigger thing. Pretty deep stuff. Lust is the physical attraction that one acts on. It is vane. He has never loved anyone before, besides his parents.

So what is love to you?

Love to me is the little things. My boyfriend makes me coffee every morning so that when I wake up it's ready for me. He cooks for me and even gives me head massages. That, to me, is love.

Signed,
Intern Nikki

http://www.buzzfeed.com/daves4/what-true-love-looks-like#4edw6a9

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Mommy Mayhem

Yi!

Moms are supposed to be the ones that set you straight and let you know when you're doing wrong, but not these moms. One mom in Connecticut supplied beer, vodka, and whiskey for her 15 year-old daughter's party. She even supplied condoms to two teens so they could have relations. Another Idaho mom let her 14 year-old daughter have a party. A girl was passed out from alcohol poisoning so what did she do? She put an IV and fluids into the girl and sat her in the shower until she was conscious.

Slacker's mother would take them to the bar in their tiny town and they would either wait in the car or go into the bar with her while she would grab Slacker's dad in the bar, dragging him to the car. She also drove his brother's truck and his brother flipped his mom off and she spilled glass milk bottles everywhere.

Steve says the mom that gave condoms to the kids is at least being responsible. She kept them in the safety of their home. He thinks she shouldn't have gotten in trouble.

Lil D knew a girl where her mom became as tripper and his friend lost her job too so she went and stripped with her mom at the strip club!

What is your mommy gone wild story?

My mom ate an edible brownie one time and was so messed up she bit my boyfriend's neck...
Signed,
Intern Nikki

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OPP: Bachelor Party Cheater

Yi!

Today's OPP is from Luke:
Yi! My friend dropped the bomb on me that he plans on sleeping with a girl during his bachelor party this weekend and now I'm totally conflicted. I couldn't believe he would tell me something like that, even though we are best friends, it makes me feel weird knowing he's planned it out. If he had gotten drunk and slept with someone in a drunken stupor, I probably wouldn't have such hard time with it, but even I think this is a little too far. I know the code is to put your boys before anyone else, but should I say something to his fiancée?
Luke

Slacker thinks he maybe should tell the fiancée. But he asks the question if cheating is more forgivable if it's spontaneous? And Steve replied yes. Slacker makes the point that there is going to be all the ingredients at the bachelor party for hooking up to ensue. Slacker says that's why there are bachelor/ette parties. It is to get that out of one's system and go into a happy marriage.

Steve thinks bachelor parties are to get your last "ya yas" out before you're married. He thinks he should be loyal to his boy. If he is going to cheat on his fiancé then don't voice it. That's against the rules. The fact that he told people is stupid because if he just kept his mouth shut and let people think hooking up could ensue then this wouldn't be an OPP.

What advice do you have for Luke?

Signed,
Intern Nikki

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GMD: Drunk Words

Yi!

Jessica and Dylan are dating and they went for drinks with Dylan's friend whom Jessica dislikes. While they were drunk, Dylan's friend drunkenly admitted he is obsessed with the Kardashians. Jessica got down on one knee and asked Dylan's friend to marry her because she too is obsessed with them. Dylan is mad because he says drunk words are sober thoughts and thinks Jessica secretly likes his friend.

Slacker asks Dylan if he thinks his friend is good looking, he replied yes. He then asked him if they have competed for women before and he replied yes. Slacker then asked him if he usually wins and he replied yes. Slacker thinks that Jessica doesn't want his friend around because she thinks he is hot and may not trust herself around him. She admitted to Slacker and Steve that his friend is cute, but his personality is awful and she would never leave Dylan for this tool.

Steve says he sees both sides. He says Jessica got intimate and down on one knee. People don't do that to people they supposedly dislike.

Do you agree? Whose side are you on?

I am on Jessica's side. Dylan sounds jealous and very insecure and that breeds treachery for any relationship.

Signed,
Intern Nikki

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Bring It Back

Yi!

Coca-Cola is bringing back Surge Cola after a Facebook group known as "The Surge Movement" pushed for it. 129,000 people have been begging Coke to make Surge again. Coke originally created Surge in 1996 to compete with Mountain Dew. They dropped it in 2003.

Slacker says if you complain enough about something, you'll get it! He wonders why they would bring it back if it's been over a decade. When a show went off TV and people were upset about it, Netflix brought it back. Slacker wants hurtful toys back like long darts. 'John from Cincinnati' was a favorite show of Slackers that he also wishes he could bring back…not that any of us know what that show was.

Steve agrees on hurtful toys coming back!

Lil D used to drink Surge like no other. It had more sugar and more caffeine than Mountain Dew did.

What would you bring back?

Intern Alli!

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Sleepwalking

Yi!

An Ohio man who was sleepwalking had fallen off a cliff while camping with friends. The man fell about 60 feet onto an area with several boulders. He suffered a head injury, dislocated shoulder and fractured leg but is expected to make a full recovery. A worker at the campground said it's a miracle the man lived. A Seattle woman was arrested after she forcefully had sex with a man while he was sleeping. The man said he woke up and a stranger was on top of him, it was one of his roommate's friends. He made her leave and she was charged with second-degree rape. A four-year-old Norwegian girl recently sleepwalked for 3 miles in just her underwear and boots. The girl woke up and said she was dreaming about her house being on fire and that is why she put on her boots and unlocked her door. The girl is now safe and sound. We are talking sleepwalking!

Slacker's wife is a sleepwalker and now all his kids are sleepwalkers! Slacker sleepwalked for a little while he was young but he outgrew it. His wife would wake him up saying there was an intruder in the house so he'd jump up ready to kill and she'd say, "Why are you waking me up!?" That's when he realized she is one of those sleepwalking zombies.

Steve is amazed that they sleepwalk with their eyes open. He doesn't necessarily believe in sleepwalking anyway. University of Common Sense is where Steve has his medical card from; he can give you the logical reason behind any sleepwalking story.

What's your crazy sleepwalking story?

Intern Alli!

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OPP: Mom Controlling the Wedding

Yi!

Yi! My fiancé and I are planning our wedding and my mom said she would pay for it no questions asked. I thought it would be awesome and that we would be able to do whatever we wanted because she is usually chill about everything but now she has an opinion about every little thing. I said I was going to have fake flowers but she said absolutely not and every single thing that I choose she said she wants different. I do want to get married and I was hoping to get married soon but my fiancé and I cannot afford to do the wedding ourselves. What should I do?

Slacker wants to know if the mother would still pay for the most of the wedding if Emily paid for a couple things like the dress for example. There is a price to pay for not having a price to pay. Does that mean that whoever pays get complete power? Slacker wonders why there has to be compromises when she's the bride!! She's the one getting married and her mom's money is supposed to be a gift.

Steve says she could elope! But all of her payments are down so now she can't. Steve says she is not being a diva, she appreciates her mom paying for everything but she just wants "her day!" He says if a couple can't afford a wedding, you don't get to get marry.

Emily was on air today! She says her mother is never even like this, but she is being a dictator! Everything that Emily likes, her mom hates and says no. The worst thing she said was the dress, she thought she found the perfect dress and her mom shut that down.

What's your advice for her?

Intern Alli!

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Pay For The Date

Yi!

A couple days ago, while Steve was at a restaurant, he got up to use the restroom and on his way, a past girlfriend waved him down to come over and say hi to her and her date. Steve did the whole five minute, haven't seen you in a while small talk then went back to his table. As he was eating, her date comes up to Steve and says, "You just totally ruined our date and now you have to pay for our meals!"

Slacker wants to know if Steve KNEW it was a date and trying to ruin it or did he think maybe it could be a cousin or coworker? Slacker says if someone ruins his meal, he wants justice…but it was her fault the date was ruined technically, not Steve's. Slacker thinks Steve is no longer a role model.

Steve says he is the victim! Steve had to introduce himself to the dude she was with and he was standoffish. He felt very awkward after that. He said the dude was standing yelling at him with his hands on his hips and he was just put on the spot! Steve admits that he'll throw money at problems to make them go away, but he also has the side of him that isn't such a soft teddy-bear. So Steve ended up buying a gift card, gave it to their server and said to tell the couple, their next date is on him! The card had $5 on it… Ha ha!!

Would you pay for the date? Do you think Steve did?

I would say Steve absolutely did not even come close to paying for someone else's date, yeah right! Especially in this situation, but who would pay when the girl was the one waving him down!?

Intern Alli!

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FOOTBALL: Fun or Fatal?

Yi!

A new survey by the Associated Press reveals that 50% of parents aren't comfortable letting their child play football. 50% of parents aren't comfortable letting their child play hockey, 45% wrestling. A mom attended her son's high school football practice and was shocked by the way the coaches yelled, used degrading language, and slapped their helmets.

Slacker makes a good point, saying do you see people wearing a helmet when they ride their bikes? They have those studies from when NFL players die and they do brain surgery and they are all kinds of messed up. Slacker's son is in his 2nd season of flag football and he's getting excited about being able to soon tackle people and Slacker is not too happy about that. He did say, aren't all sports dangerous in some way? Should gymnastics be banned or ice skating?

Steve says then why isn't soccer banned? Back in the day, Steve played high school football, QB to be exact. The team was the worst team out of all high schools so he eventually quit but before quitting, he did get a concussion once. He calls it, "getting your bell rung."

Would you let your son play football?

I absolutely would! I want my child to have a passion for something.

Intern Alli

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Wild Weddings


Yi!

There have been tons of stories in the news recently about wild weddings. Fights, thefts, arrests…the kinds of things that aren't supposed to happen at weddings. One groomsman had tried to steal 55 unopened cards and gift cards from his friend of 12 years. He hid the $6,800 in his bag then went back to the party like nothing happened. He was caught and arrested. Another groomsman had hit on a pregnant reception worker… Wonder if he's still married.

Slacker says some couple had broken up right before their wedding. Since everything was majority already paid for, like the food and venue, the man had a party for kids in need rather just waste that money. Slacker can't believe the groomsman who was supposed to be your friend for years would actually try to take money from him. As the movie Frozen says, "Let It Go!"

Steve says the guy who tried stealing all that money is genius for doing it during the wedding. This conversation very easily turned into teaching Steve all about Frozen.

Have you been witness to a wild wedding?

Intern Alli

Photo courtesy: Flickr.com
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OPP: Addicted to Porn

Yi!

My husband has an issue with downloading and using so much porn by himself that he is not really into real relations anymore. I'm happy to include anything he wants to do..trouble is I don't know what he wants and he's too shy to tell or show me. Our relations life started out awkward, virgins are not good at teaching other virgins how to have relations. Virgins are also not good at knowing what they want and how to ask for it. But we aren't those people anymore, at least I'm not, and my husband is cutting me out of our relations life instead of doing the hard work of growing up. We have relations about 4 times a month, usually 2 times, and sometimes none, and only when I'm ovulating. Divorce is not going to happen, but I can't live like this anymore. We have tried counseling with someone he chose and that didn't get us anywhere. I don't trust that he's ever going to try harder to tell the truth and stop hiding it. My hope is that you'll have some advice for me. Too many promises remain broken. What do I/we do?
Sarah

Slacker thinks if he is truly addicted to this, then their relationship is doomed. Now that he is seeing this other stuff, he is warped to this new perspective now. The wife is saying though, that she's not the same old virgin anymore. Back in the day, when he was on a tour bus and watching a bunch of that stuff, it changes what you expect in real life.

Steve says it's called having self-control. He says it's a bad idea that they both started out as rookies. So this husband thinks it's a step down from his wife after watching these videos.

What's your advice for her?

Intern Alli

Photo courtesy: Flickr.com
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Cheapskates

Yi!

Slacker knows someone who went to a chain buffet restaurant for dinner and brought plastic bags in her purse. She was stuffing the food into the bags to take home. She was caught and kicked out. I mean, do you know how much of a cheapskate you have to be for them to actually kick you out of a buffet?!

Slacker says his kids eat a lot of waffles so he moves them from the big box they come in, into a big plastic bag that way the food stays fresh. Then he'll wash the plastic bag and reuse it! Slacker also knew someone who would pour cheap Vodka into an expensive Vodka bottle. Similarly, when Slacker is at concerts, he pours his alcohol in bags and tape them to his side.

Steve blew up Slackers spot saying he used to wash straws and bags… Uh! Steve says it is all you can eat so what's the difference between leaving with the food in your stomach or in your purse? Steve will smoke half of a cigarette then save the rest to smoke it later, he needs to save those 50 cents!

How cheap are you?

Intern Alli

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Lazy

YI!

There are people that climb mountains, people that run marathons and then, there's the rest of us. The people too lazy to change the channel when we can't find the remote and too lazy to make dinner so we eat cereal for a week straight!

Parents Confess the Laziest Thing They've Ever Done
Every parent knows that no matter how tired you are, you never get a day off.
Babble, a popular parenting blog, wanted to find out what lazy things parents find themselves doing out of sheer exhaustion. So, they posted this on Facebook to get some real answers from moms and dads: "Finish this sentence in regard to parenting. I was so lazy, one time I ..."
Here are some of the best responses:
• "didn't feel like cooking so I fed the kids cereal for dinner. Five times in one week."
• "didn't feel like washing the dirty dishes stacking up in my kitchen, so I threw them out and bought paper plates."
• "didn't get around to washing my son's uniform so I just sprayed it with Febreeze and made him wear it again."
• "texted my son in the next room that dinner was ready."
• "bought new underwear at Target to avoid laundry."
• "picked up fast food on the way home from grocery shopping because I was too tired to actually cook anything I just bought."
• "verbally played hide and go seek. Just guessed where they were hiding and they would yell yes or no."
• "slapped a diaper over my sleeping daughter's bathing suit, instead of changing her into her nightgown and risk waking her up."
• "let my son's swimming lessons count as his "bath," and not for just one time."

Hungry? Lazy? Try Push for Pizza
We've all been there; sitting on the couch, wondering what to eat while we let the TV screen dictate our day. Pizza seems like a good idea, but calling/heating up/ordering online? Not so much. Those conundrums born of laziness are no more. Push for Pizza is here.
The app is dead simple — push a button, and pizza shows up a bit later. After you put in your payment info and location (done once after downloading), you just… push. The cost of the pizza, delivery charge, and tip are all taken care of.
Push for Pizza also takes the guess-work out of deciding on toppings. You get cheese or pepperoni — that's it. As for which pizzerias you can order from, it's not quite clear. The app gives a selection for you to choose from — if any are available in your area. In our testing, it didn't work out so well.
Push for Pizza is available on iTunes, so give it a shot if you're hungry.

Too Lazy to Unlock Your Phone?
What's the biggest hassle of modern existence? Undoubtedly, it's spending an average of 2.3 seconds to unlock your smartphone, according to a very serious assertion by Google's Deepak Chandra.
This "cumbersome" process can lead to security risks, he further claims, with "more than 50 percent of users" opting to not lock their devices rather than tapping out a code. But Chandra and his team at Google's Advanced Technology and Projects division are about to save us all. They and "digital tattoo" company VivaLnk have created a weird, David Cronenbergian artifact that sticks to your body; simply press your phone against it, and it automatically bypasses the code-entering stage.
The nickel-sized skin patch lasts for five days, is shower-proof, and is for sale now for Motorola's Moto X phones ($9.99 for a 10-pack). The debut of the digital tattoo has already genuinely or sarcastically excited the body/machine-nexus crowd.
I would like to point out that, for it to work, you must first turn on the phone's display and then hold it for a moment against your fake tattoo. That means a loss of at least a precious second. Still, if Google's calculations are correct, this thing could save more than a full day's minute.

Slacker says that Steve is one of the laziest people he has ever known. He says that a woman called in one time to tell them that she would rather buy a DVD On Demand rather than get up and put a DVD in the player. Slacker calls Steve out on him buying new underwear instead of washing them!

Steve says he doesn't have any baking sheets; he uses tin foil because it's easier to clean up and going to the store to buy a pan takes way to much effort. He admits to buying underwear instead of washing them, says it's just easier! Steve says he would rather say "Tin Foil" instead of "Aluminum Foil" because its less syllables.

What is the laziest thing you have ever done?

Signed,
Intern Tyler

(Courtesy Photo: Flickr.com)
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OPP: Attracted to Hot Teacher

YI!

Cheryl just met her son's 3rd grade teacher, who turned out to be a total hottie! She is wondering if dating him would make things awkward for everyone. What do you think Cheryl should do? Should she go for it?

Slacker says you absolutely don't do it! He says why are you asking them the question if you already know the answer. Slacker asks if she thinks that she is the only woman that thinks the teacher is attractive. He asks if Cheryl really thinks that this will work out. Slacker thinks that it might not be that big of a deal being in third grade, it's not like its high school.

Steve says why you wouldn't do it!? He says what could go wrong? Better grades, favoritism? Steve says those aren't bad things! He is in total favor of the woman going for the teacher.

What advice do you have for Cheryl?

Signed,
Intern Tyler

(Courtesy Photo: Flickr.com)
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Resume Lies

YI!

According to a recent study, 58% of hiring managers have caught someone lying on their resume! They range from lying about previous work experience to winning a gold medal in the Olympics!

Nearly 60% of hiring managers say they've caught lies on a resume, according to a poll conducted by Harris Poll and released by CareerBuilder. About one third of those employers have observed an uptick in resume fiction in the years following the recession. The survey polled 2,188 hiring managers and HR professionals throughout various industries.

1. "Like father like son?"
"Applicant included job experience that was actually his father's. Both father and son had the same name (one was Sr., one was Jr.)."
2. Hail to the Thief
"Applicant claimed to be the assistant to the prime minister of a foreign country that doesn't have a prime minister."
3. Foul Shots
"Applicant claimed to have been high school basketball free throw champion. He admitted it was a lie in the interview."
4. Fool's Gold
"Applicant claimed to have been an Olympic medalist."
5. To the Dogs
"Applicant claimed to have been a construction supervisor. The interviewer learned the bulk of his experience was in the completion of a doghouse some years prior."
6. Baby Genius
"Applicant claimed to have 25 years experience at age 32."
7. Sitter to the Stars
"Applicant claimed to have worked for 20 years as the babysitter of known celebrities such as Tom Cruise, Madonna, etc."
8. Historical Fiction
"Applicant applied twice for the same position and provided different work history on each application."
9. Brief Stint
"Applicant listed three jobs over the past several years. Upon contacting the employers, the interviewer learned that the applicant had worked at one for two days, another for one day, and not at all for the third."
10. Déjà You
"Applicant applied to a position with a company who had just terminated him. He listed the company under previous employment and indicated on his resume that he had quit."

What's surprising is that fibbing isn't always fatal. The survey found that while 51% of employers would automatically dismiss a candidate caught lying, 40% said it would depend upon what the candidate lied about, and 7% said they'd be willing to overlook a lie if they like a candidate.

Slacker said that he was a "Baggage Technician" even though he was just a baggage handler. He said that a guy that worked at the radio station claimed he worked with George Lucas. Slacker said that the same general manager bought a dinner with Lucas and decided to talk about the other employee to find something in common, Lucas claimed he had never heard of him before.

Steve wonders if Slacker puts "Lead Guitar Player for Warrant" on his resume.

What have you lied or caught someone lying on a resume?

Signed,
Intern Tyler

(Courtesy Photo: Flickr.com)
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Pics Got Out

Yi!

By now, you've probably heard about the nude celebrity photo scandal. It's definitely a sad story, but celebrities aren't the only ones that have had their risqué photos surface. Maybe you accidently sent it to your boss, your parents, or seen them online.

Slacker says he doesn't take any weird pictures. He's only seen the Jennifer Lawrence pictures. He knows someone who went out and had some pictures taken old western style and they wanted to share them! They were fairly new to social media / iPhone apps so they didn't notice they hit 'share all' and ALL of Facebook saw their Jennifer styled photos as well.

Steve says there has never been a bad or embarrassing picture of him out there, but he has done some home movies! He has definitely seen just about all of the leaked pictures though.

Have your naughty pictures ever gotten out?

Intern Alli

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Strange Addictions

Yi!

James Duckworth is a 17-year-old man who is addicted to potato chips. The addiction started when he was only 7-years-old!! He said he was eating 40 bags a week before he decided to get help. He says he "wasn't fussy about the brand, as long as the chips were already salted with very little flavor." He hates 'wet food' like ketchup, spaghetti, and if someone was eating baked beans it would make him physically cringe.

Slacker is willing to admit to all his addictions. Plants VS zombies is his newest addiction, he will wake up in the morning, play the levels he knows he can beat multiple times, and he cannot stop playing. Slacker and Steve both absolutely hate change, but the exception for Slacker is if he has pennies in his hand, he can't help but smell his hands over and over. He hates that smell but he won't stop smelling… Weird! Slackers wife's addiction is chewing gum, blow a bubble, flip it in her mouth, and swallow it.

Steve says James won't eat some of the best foods! Steve saw the game and can't believe THAT'S the game he plays in the corner by himself. Steve does smell his hands after he gets gas, but who doesn't!

Do you have an addiction to something out of the ordinary?

Intern Alli

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OPP: Son's Birthday Wish

Yi!

Every parent wants to give their child everything they want. The son of today's OPP has one birthday wish, but she's not sure she can give it to him.

Yi guys,
My son is turning 6 in a little over a week. His dad and I are divorced and he splits his time between our houses. My son will be with his dad on his birthday and said he wants all of us to have dinner at his dad's house for his birthday. I told him I didn't know if that was possible and he broke my heart by telling me that's all he wants for his birthday. His dad cheated on me and now lives with the woman he cheated with. We do what we have to for the sake of our son, but I don't know that I can go hang out at my ex's house with him and the woman he cheated on me with. What should I do?
Kara

Slacker says this is where you suck it up and you go! She can hate the bimbo the husband is with now, but you're a parent first. It might though, give the kid some hope that it will bring his family back together and everything will be alright, but that's not the truth. Steve asked if Slacker would do it and he said he would like to be the bigger man and do it but honestly he would cause a scene (admitting he's petty by the way) and ruin the birthday.

Steve says this little boy is about to learn a life lesson. Explain to the kid that you can't get everything in life. If the parents don't crush this child's heart right away, he's going to next be saying, "Let's go to the park together tomorrow!"

What's your advice for her?

She has to do it, for her son. Just make sure to look better than the new chick! Ha!

Intern Alli

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Bug Related Incident

Yi!

One lucky family found Jesus in a moth, they said it was the sign they needed. A woman in England lives on her own so she hadn't been in her guest room for a couple months. When she finally opened the door, the entire bed was overtaken by wasps! The bug exterminator said in his 45 years of working, he had never seen anything like it. Blake Lively was even attacked by bees on her birthday during her last day on a shoot.

Slacker is so shocked how this woman didn't hear all those wasps in her room by just walking pass! His favorite story right now though is the Jesus image in a moth. Slacker was doing yard work, poking holes in the grass. When he was walking by, he saw what he thought was a hermit crab crawling into one of the holes. He sat in the grass playing plants VS zombies until the hermit crab came back out. When it finally arrived, he realized it was definitely a giant pregnant spider.

Steve is a little upset that Slacker would kill a pregnant spider. Steve actual found out the "crab" Slacker tried to catch is actually called an orb weaver.

What's your bug related incident?

When I was younger I was playing dress up with all my mom's old clothes in the basement. After walking around in her heels for a few hours, my right foot was starting to hurt, I took the shoe off and crickets started jumping out. Gross!

Intern Alli

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UPDATE: Stop Sister's Wedding

Jen, the girl that broke up her sister's wedding because she is in love with the groom came on the air to share an update with us. Trevor, the groom didn't show up to the wedding and he had disappeared. She got this email from him and she wanted to share it with us:

Jen,
I wanted you to know that I'm okay. I've been staying with a buddy for a few days trying figure this all out. First, I want to say that I really understand how big of a leap it was for you to talk to me and I appreciate your honesty. I couldn't lie to myself, or to Amanda, and go through with the wedding because I have thought about that kiss too. What you said to me made me realize that I couldn't marry Amanda because it wouldn't be fair to her. She is an amazing woman and I couldn't marry her knowing that I was thinking about another woman, especially her sister. I know it will take some time but it will be better this way in the long run. I just didn't know how to tell her that on our wedding day and that's why I ran. I know it was cowardly, but it was the only thing that seemed logical that day.

Jen I also want you to know I ran because I couldn't be "that guy." I couldn't be the kind of man that leaves his bride at the altar to get with her sister. I need to take some time to figure all this out. I'm sorry.

Trevor

What do you think the email means?

(Image courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net)
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