Yi! I'm 17, and have had relations with my boyfriend. we have done so without protection, he does pull out. i know there's still a risk of becoming pregnant, but part of me wants it. my mother had me as a teen, and i have two friends that are pregnant. both of my friends are happy and excited, and who can blame them? babies bring great joy to families. half of me hopes that i am pregnant, but the other half knows how hard being a teen parent is. the longer things go on, the more i want a baby. my boyfriend and i have tried to stop having relations and it doesn't last long. we have used protection before. but what can i do? as hard as it would be, I really want a baby. please help.
Slacker keeps reading the OPP again especially at the line, babies bring great joy to families…Everything he wants to say would make him sound like he is 70 years old. He wants to blame MTV and how much they’ve glorified it! It’s very overwhelming to be a parent! It’s ten billions times harder than the hardest thing he’s ever done and he knows when he was 17-years-old, he never would have been able to handle it. Also, if she thinks the boy is going to be handling it, then she has another thing coming because it’s going to be like a cartoon imprint with him running away.
Steve feels sorry for the girl’s mother because she is going to end up having to take care of the kid.
What advice do you have for Lily?
Ok, like Slacker said, has this girl seen 16 and Pregnant or Teen Moms on MTV! I think she would re-consider! Although I think it’s possible to get through life and be happy with having a child as a teen, I still think that’s taking away your twenties. You can’t do the things a normal teen would do. Finishing your education is a lot tougher and getting no sleep is not something a normal teen dreams of. I can’t just tell someone they shouldn’t have a child though, so all I can say it…think about it…
I think the therapist hit the nail on the head when she talked about taking the child into consideration more. I was a teen mom. I had my daughter when I was 16 and turned 17 soon after having her. I did receive some help from my single mom, but that help was limited. At 17 I was working full time, and every bit of overtime I could get, while making $7.19 per hour to make ends meet. I decided at that point I needed to move out and couldn’t afford a large place. I sold my bed, and bought two twin beds for the room that my daughter and I would share. So we moved into a 500 square foot apartment and rather than have a dining room, we had a playroom and ate dinner together at our living room pull up coffee table. I worked extremely hard to provide to her. Then when I figured out I had to go to school if I was ever going to pay for her future, it got even harder. Daycare part time cost $500 per month (and that was a deal), food, clothing, and all the things come up along the way. For instance my daughter is now 12, and braces, school fees, school lunches, etc. always add to those costs. I have been in school since 2001 and will graduate with my bachelors (finally) this fall- again because I have had to work full time while going to school to make it work. But, more importantly, I have watched how people and society treat her different. Things are better now that she and I are older, but when you show up to take your kid to school and you are a kid yourself, it does affect them. Other kids’ parents ask a lot of questions and sometimes keep their children from yours because you are a kid. Now, when I am done with my degree, I will be paying off my student loans and when she goes to college, mine will not yet be paid off. In addition, when you have to work to actually be a providing parent, and go to school, etc. you aren’t home a lot to raise them. Lastly, although there are so many things I could go on about, babies are not always cute. They get sick, they make you call in sick from work, they get colic and cry all the time, if you have a boy they have a never ending supply of energy, and if you have a girl they have a never ending supply of attitude, they have problems along the way you have to deal with, and they often don’t work with your schedule. You may wish your schedule included sleep or out time with your friends (if you have any left or are able to make new ones), but it doesn’t, because if you are actually doing what a parent is supposed to do and supporting them, you are tired from work, school, and being with them any free chance you get. All I can say, is good luck if this is really a foolish desire of yours.
I was there, never again.
When I heard this on your talk show I couldn't help but tear up. I am an 18 year old girl and know the feelings Lily has. At 15 I wanted a baby, ridiculous but true. My boyfriend told me he loved me and would have a baby with me whenever I wanted. Thankfully he left me. A year later he had a baby with a different girl, know one has seen him sense this child was born. That could have been me. I just graduated from and alternative high school where teen moms were catered to so they would be able to attend high school as well as have daycare. Most of the girls had a baby while on birth control and or used a condom. It was unplanned to say the least. One girl had a child at 14 thinking it would better her relationship with her boyfriend. The couple has been on and off sense the child was born almost 2 years ago. Recently she was so desperate to get him back in her and the babies life she posted, on facebook, a video of her child crying for his dad to guilt him into coming back to them. If this does not change your mind on having a child at a young age I'm not sure what will. Attending that school really opened my eyes to the fact that in this day and age everything is public, such as teen pregnancy, and it seems that the more it's talked about the more it is approved. Maybe it's just me, but I think it is a selfish decision to choose pregnancy at a young age. The struggles of raising a child are big enough as it is. In my opinion guys need to keep it in their pants and girls need to fall in love NOT into a guys bed.
I am a mom of a now almost 21 year old!!! when she was 19...she got pregnant...thought everything would be great!!!!!! i cannot tell you how upset i was... but as i had no choice!!! i eventually accepted it!!!! at 16weeks pregnant she found out the baby had severe hydrocephalus and moderate spina bifida!!!!! she finally decided to abort the pregnancy!!!! it cost me 7500.00... there had been absolutely NO history of this in our family!!!! she was devastated!!! and it nearly detroyed our family!!!! I say to this 17 year old!!!! YOU HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT!!!!!!!!!! You think everything is rosey!!! as did she!!!!! NOTHING IN LIFE IS GUARANTEED!!!!!!!!! BE A KID!!!!! GROW UP!!!!! LIVE YOUR LIFE!!! GO TO COLLEGE!!! GET EDUCATED!!!! BE ABLE TO SUPPORT YOURSELF!!!!!!! And someday!!!!! YOU will MEET someone who you truly love!!!! not puppy love!!!! and then !!! ONLY then!!! have a child!!!!
I heard the therapist and I agree with her. Most teens that get pregnant or want to are doing it because babies are sooo adorable or think it is cool to have a child when they are young. Now I was 15 when I got pregnant and had my son. Granted I had some help from my family but it took the largest toll on my family that I have ever seen. To any teen that wants to get pregnant and have a baby because its "cool" please don't. I have seen way too many fellow teens and my friends have babies for that reason and they don't care how their current lifestyle affects their child. It's not easy being a mother while still growing up. I mean look at me know. I am about to be 20, work 30 hours a week, and try to go to college full-time so i can make sure my son has everything he needs and our lives will eventually be exactly what we want it to be. Its not impossible but it is very hard. As I tell every young girl that I speak too please wait till you are ready to be a full-time parent and you are able to give the child a good life with out having to struggle.
Dont have a kid at a younge age
I don't think teens should be having kids.People should have a kid when there like 20 younger then that is crazzy.And wait till u have a job a house and have time to spend with ur child.Spending time with your child should be pleasent and not spending time with your child is like leaving part of your life behind.
Worst idea ever.
I'm 19 now and had my son when I was 18. The only advice I can give to her is to WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT! I mean, I love my son more than anything in the world but this is the most difficult thing that I have ever done. You're entire life changes and becomes about the baby. It's rough and difficult. Most days I'm so overwhelmed I just want to rip my hair out. Not to mention the financial aspect of it. There are government programs but honestly, the stuff you have to go through to get those benefits makes it really not worth it. I don't know how many nights I've cried over the fact that I can't afford what my son needs like food and diapers and it kills me to not be able to provide that. When I found out I was pregnant, I thought I could handle it too. Please, do yourself a favor and wait until you are financially (and emotionally) stable to support another life. Slacker and Steve, if there's any way you can, please forward this to her so she can hear it from someone her age who's in that exact position.