Today’s OPP is from Christine
Yi! I have been divorced for approx. 6 yrs. Shortly after my divorce I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I went through all of the horrible chemo’s, radiation, and surgery and so on at that time. Did well for about a year after all of that and then discovered the cancer came back and was stage 4. That was in 2010 and I’ve been doing chemo every couple weeks since. If you met me and didn’t know I had this going on, you would never guess that I have cancer. As lucky as I have been and blessed with many other things, I am single and really want to meet someone. I have not dated in 6 yrs! I am independent and am not looking for someone to come along and take care of me, financially, emotionally or any other way. I just want to meet someone to go out with and maybe one day have a relationship again. Except this cancer thing has prevented me from doing so. And not because I’ve been sick but because I just don’t know when to tell someone about it. Of course I figure it is a pretty big deal and it is only fair to let someone know up front what they are getting into. But on the other hand, it’s a personal thing and how do you just say something like that on a first date or do I have to bring it up before the first date?
Slacker thinks that it may make the date instantly uncomfortable and that would be the only subject to talk about. He doesn’t think it’s something casual and easy to bring up so it might make the rest of the date awkward. He thinks she should tell them if the relationship starts to get more serious but not necessarily on the first date.
Steve would appreciate her honesty but he doesn’t think it’s fair to the person on the date. It would make for an uncomfortable first date. He thinks the date deserves to know she has cancer but not if she isn’t in it for a relationship. If she just wants a one night date then they probably don’t need to go. But if she sees if going further in the future then she should definitely tell them.
Do you think she needs to tell people she’s dating, and when is the right time to tell them?
I think she should tell them right when she meets them but ease into so they’re aware of it before the date. That way the date wouldn’t be uncomfortable and she wouldn’t feel like she's hiding it.