Robert joined us live on the air to share with us the guilt he is carrying around. He travels for work all the time and just the other week he started having a few drinks with some co-workers, got drunk and ending up sleeping with one of the girls. He regrets is completely because he’s married to an amazing woman, the perfect woman he says. He never would have slept with her if he was sober, it was just a night where he had too much; He’s even given up drinking, although it’s only been a few days. He knows he wants to tell her because it’s the right thing to do, but he doesn’t want her to leave him. So, how does he tell her and not lose her?
Slacker knows a lot of people that say if you cheat on me, if your toe even crosses that line, then it’s over and they would never speak to you ever again. In this case, he loves his wife whole heartedly and he would never want to hurt her, but there’s so much guilt, in order for him to relieve some of his pain, he needs to give some to her. That’s why a lot people say don’t tell because the only reason you are telling is to suede your guilt, but that’s not fair to her, even thought it’s not fair he did this to her either.
To me, honesty is the best policy, but yes unfortunately that would be the final straw for me. I’ve fought with this before and although its really difficult to move on once you’ve loved someone and they’ve cheated on you, it does get easier. I guess I have no advice for him, but to his wife. I can’t say it’s ok with what he did to her.
I think she needs to be told regardless of whether she will find out or not. If he was drunk you don't know if they used protection. He needs to own up to it. She will be upset. I think whether their relationship works depends on whether trust is completely lost. I don't think you can blame it on alcohol, there is a reason he cheated! If he really loves her he needs to be honest. I don't think their relationship will work with something hidden, because it will eventually come out, and it will sting more if he waits. I wouldn't want to know, but at the same time I wouldn't want to be with someone that cheated on me no matter how hard it was to hear. There is a chance they can work it out though, it just depends on her. I don't think there is an magic word or sentence that will make it ok because it isn't!
Tell her after
He needs to have a child with her first, after or during the pregnancy tell her. If you have a.child with her the odds of her staying with you are much better versus having no lasting connection. BOOM!
I know someone just like Robert. Oh so sincere. But as we hear from the psychologist, there are some concerns with his story. Perhaps he's on the radio because on a deep level he's proud of his conquest. He obviously needs attention, hence the cheating...wife not around much...going public with his story. There's something seriously wrong with this guy, who is trying so hard (crocodile tears and all) to sound so regretful. This radio call is nothing short of Robert continuing his attention-seeking behavior. Tell the wife, get into counseling.