If you remember last Thursday, we got a call from a woman that wanted to go by the name Candy. She opened up a whole new can of worms for us and we had to call her back and help her out in her own OPP.
Candy was proposed to from her boyfriend out of the blue a year after being together and she wasn’t ready… She didn’t want to hurt him so she said yes and she thought that might make him comfortable and secure, and slow down a little bit, but it’s been the exact opposite. He keeps asking her about a date and when she’s going to try on dresses and everything else that goes along with a wedding, but she’s done none of it. They’ve been engaged a year and a half and she’s still not ready. She was married once before and she just wants to make sure she doesn’t go down that road again…She wants to be able to see him in her future and she loves him so much, but she’s not ready for the walk down the isle. So her question is and I’ll put it in Slacker’s word, how does she slow this marriage boat down?
Slacker and Steve couldn’t help but feel like the tables had turned. What she was saying seemed so testosterone filled…She was thinking like a guy and it was odd! Slacker says being engaged is something for a woman. It’s symbolic, but for guys they’d rather get down on one knee and then sign a piece of paper immediately. When he got down on one knee it was for marriage, not for this long process of a wedding. So, in Candy’s case she is not holding up her end of the bargain, by planning the wedding and getting it over with. Slacker doesn’t think she wants to be with this guy at all and she’s just afraid to say it out loud. Slacker asked her about him giving her an ultimatum, what would she do, and she said, if he laid down the ultimatum, she would leave him because she wants it to be equal on both of their timings.
Do you have any advice for Candy?
I’m sorry, but right off the bat I don’t think she loves this guy! She just doesn’t…Not in the way you are supposed to if you want to get married…She may love him like a friend and wants nothing but the best for him, but he’s not the right one whether she’s been married once before or not… I can say one good thing about all this, which is that she’s not settling. A lot of people settle because time always seems to take it’s toll on all of us and we fear this is it…That there’s no more time to find that one…Candy is doing right by that…And now I feel like I’m contradicting myself so I really don’t know how to help her…