Yi. My whole holiday season is shot and I don't know what to do. I was recently at the mall with my girlfriend when I saw my father holding hands with a woman. That woman was not my mother. He didn't see me and words can't express my sadness. How could my father be cheating on his wife and my mother? I haven't said anything to anyone about this because I just don't know how to handle it. Should I confront my father and see what he has to say? Should I tell my mother about it and stir up a huge hornet's nest? Should I just keep my mouth shut like nothing ever happened? Please, any advice you can give me is greatly appreciated. I have nowhere to turn with this.
Thank you in advance,
Slacker finds it remarkable how scenarios like this come up, especially during the holiday season. His best is advice is to just butt out and eventually the news will come out, but if Brent feels that bad and he’s coming to “us” as Slacker said, then he doesn’t know what to say. Steve thinks it would be extremely hard to even look both mom and dad in the eye.
I don’t know why, but I can’t help but think of the song, ‘I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus,’ but anyways, if I was in this situation I would without a doubt wish I could turn the clocks backwards because I would have never wanted to see that, especially around the holidays. Unfortunately, it happened, so I think the best place to start would be his dad. He needs to go to the core of the situation rather than letting people from the outside get involved. It’s going to be a rough conversation, but I think it can be done.
Side Note: In the middle of the OPP, we got a call from Brent’s girlfriend, Jodie. She was with him in the mall when he spotted his dad with another woman and now she is really worried about Brent. When they spotted his dad in the mall, it almost looked so casual which made things so much worse and now he’s totally distraught. He wanted to kill himself because he loves his dad so much. It was really difficult for him to witness and she doesn’t know what to do or what to tell him because he’s started to withdrawal from her rather than talk to her about it. She really hopes we can help.
This happened to me via email. I found an email quite by accident between my dad and his ex-lover that ruined his first marriage. I confronted the couple which he can't do but eventually had a conversation with my dad and was told I didn't understand the nature of my favorite parent relationship and that he would handle it and in that relationship with the other woman and I had to trust that that would happen. Glad I got it off my chest and then let the adults work their situation out.
Confront the dad - or at least a trusted adult
Brent absolutely must talk to his dad privately in as much of a non-accusatory way as possible. Dad also needs to know he's busted. There IS always the chance it's an innocent situation. He is a juvenile and should definitely not be carrying around this kind of pressure, especially after what his girlfriend said. His mental state is much too fragile. If he absolutely cannot talk to his father, then he really MUST talk to a trust adult - even if it has to be his mother. She can deal with it from that point but the pressure is obviously way too much for him to keep it to himself.