OPP: Regulating the Relations
Isn’t it always supposed to be a woman’s choice when she has relations? Does it make her a bad person if she uses relations to get what she wants…or do all women do that? Our OPP needs your help:
My husband and I have been married for three years. I think we have a pretty great relationship, but he thinks I manipulate him through relations. Sometimes ...well ...a lot of the time, I either reward him or deprive him of relations depending on his behavior. Like last week ...he took me out to this amazing restaurant I have been dying to go to and we had a great night, so that night he got some action. But on Monday night he invited his parents to spend the weekend without asking me first, and I have decided no nookie until he understands how annoyed I am at his behavior – not to mention that I don't want them staying here this weekend. Is this really that bad? Don't a lot of women do the same thing? What about using relations to distract him if he is annoyed with me for something? Is that manipulation too? I'm confused I guess. Any advice would be appreciated.
Slacker was on Candy's side to a certain extent to begin with when she said she would give him relations because he had done something nice and she wanted to do something nice in return. Things took a turn, however, when discussion of withholding it came up. Overall, they agree that it is manipulation in some measure but not necessarily wrong or uncommon.
Of course everyone will see this situation differently, especially between genders. Candy probably isn't alone in thinking she is just expressing her feelings toward her husband and Candy's husband probably isn't the only man who has felt that women use it to get what they want. This is a slippery slope of a situation...and to be honest I am not really sure where I stand on it, but it does seem to me to be a little immature to withhold something (in this case, relations) just to get what you want or because you are mad about something.
What is your stance on the subject of "using" relations in this way?
Until next time,
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