Today, Elaina joined us live on the air to discuss her problem. Elaina is going to get married and is in town for her bachelorette party. Since she is going to be a married woman, she has decided to give herself one last really great fling because that’s what a bachelorette weekend is for. She kept it a secret for a while, but since telling her friends, they have decided it is not a good idea. She thinks she is going to be resentful of him if she doesn’t do this, so she is hoping we can give her some reassurance and help her find a way to tell her friends its okay. Do you think this is a good idea?
Steve thinks Elaina is thinking clearly and doing this correctly. She is thinking of her future and saving her marriage. Steve wants women to be honest and he thinks unlike Alaina, no one will admit that they felt this way or do.
Slacker wanted to ask all women that have had an affair, that if they had one last fling, would they still be thinking about cheating now?
To me, this is not a good idea… In the end, if she does this, she is cheating on her man. I am one person in this world where cheating is never okay. It’s not real love if that is the situation. If she needs to feel loved and attractive again, then what are you doing with the man you are with now? It doesn’t make any sense… She’s not ready to get married…
My husband and I have been married for going on 4 years. We did not have a "one last fling" night. However, I do know that there are A LOT of women out there that regret not "sowing their wild oats" and are always wondering if the grass really is greener. My husband and I were both rather, shall we say, loose before we met. Ok, lets be real, we were HUGE SLUTS. And I have to say, we have talked about the topic of cheating and even just the desire to cheat and both of us have the same opinion: We know EXACTLY whats out there and that makes us so very happy with what we have because we KNOW the grass is DEFINITELY NOT GREENER.
Ok, I get the whole sow your oats and all. I even understand how you can think you may have missed out on the unknown. But to go out and seek a stranger to ______ on your girl weekend before you get married? To justify it to yourself by saying its something personal that you will look back on for good memories...GIVE ME A BREAK. Do yourself a favor and break off the engagement so you can ride off into the sunset with yourself. That way you can hook up with anyone you want with no drama. Your not in love. So just knock it off and for once think of the person you may be hurting. MARRIAGE IS A LIFELONG COMMITMENT THAT YOU ARE OBVIOUSLY NOT READY FOR.
Alaina is not ready for marriage. Go out and sow your oats and THEN get engaged!
If Alaina has feelings of wanting to get with some other guy (any other guy), before she locks herself in with her fiancee "for life", she should, but she should also not bother getting married to her boyfriend. All she's going to do is set up a disaster before it even happens. Obviously if she has an unquenchable desire to be with someone (anyone) other than her fiancee, she shouldn't be getting married. Wait until you actually know that what you have is what you want, and THEN get married. Be fair to your fiancee and to yourself. If you're going to resent him because YOU haven't had enough time to sleep with enough guys, the problem is with YOU. If you care at all about him, be honest with him and yourself and put the marriage on hold. And if you don't care enough about him and his feelings, why marry him? If you cheat on him a week before the wedding, it's not going to be good memories. Regardless of what happens, it's just going to be memories of regret - either of why you cheated on someone you love, or why you married someone you weren't fully in love with. Good luck, but seriously think before you act. -CK
Elaina. If you're reading this...When you said yes to the engagement, that is when you're life started with this man, you're life doesn't "end" with this man the minute you say "I do". If you think fulfilling your 'self fulfilling prophecy' as a catalyst to 'get through your marriage' than you're clearly not ready for commitment. So please set this poor man free of the reckless mentality that people like you carry, because YOUR the REASON divorce is so high.