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OPP: Not Allowed In Family Photos

Today’s OPP comes from Amber:
Yi! My boyfriend and I have been dating for 3 years and I’m positive we’ll get married someday. Over the weekend, we were at my boyfriend’s family reunion and everyone wanted to get a family picture. While everyone was getting ready, his mom came over and told me that I wasn’t allowed in the picture. She said it was because we were dating and she didn’t know how long I’d be a part of the family—it wasn’t personal. I felt totally snubbed and my boyfriend didn’t even stick up for me! What really got me mad was the fact his loser brother’s wife was allowed in the picture. They only dated for like 10 minutes and got married about 4 months ago! Up to this point, I’ve always felt like a part of the family. Now I feel like they hate me and don’t approve of us. I have the right to be angry about this, don’t I? How do I face his family next time?
“It’s only the people that have bought the cow that get in the picture,” is what Slacker said. He agrees that it sucks when you take a picture and it’s there forever if something bad was to happen. In a sense, the mother is saving her from years of being viewed in the family just in case. Slacker’s parents still have photos of him and his ex-wife, but they were on and off for years and then the whole divorce. She was around for a long time. Then Slacker brought up the point of not putting someone in a photo…It’s like letting the person with cancer into your photo and then they weren’t there one day and you wished they were.
Steve thinks the mom had a valid point. He got so invested it started to sound like he was watching a soap opera.
What advice do you have for Amber?
I think Amber is being over-dramatic here…First off, I think the keyword is wife. His brother is married and it doesn’t matter how long they’ve been together, she now has the last name and is officially a part of the family. You may be considered “family” but you’re not official and they don’t want to take a photo with someone that may be replaced. I’m on the mom’s side with this and although it hurts, it’s the truth.
Peace. Love – Assistant Producer Stephanie
(Photo Courtesy of

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05/30/2012 4:19PM
OPP: Not Allowed In Family Photos
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05/31/2012 3:49PM
OPP: Not Allowed In Family Photos
It's kind of sounding like maybe parents these days are nervous that women are just going to up and divorce at a whim. Sounds like the mother is nervous you might be one of them "ladies" that you might try and divorce when something get's tough. I think you have to gain the mothers trust more and ensure your boyfriends mother that you not one of them "ladies" and your in the marriage for better or worse and you won't just get "divorced" or leave him cause your bored, or you had a rough patch with your soon to be husband.
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