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Slacker & Steve's Blog



OPP: Move Daughter's Boyfriend In?

Yi!!!
 
Today’s OPP comes from Jeanette…
 
Yi! My daughter is 28 and still living at home. She doesn't earn enough to buy her own place so she pays half of the mortgage. We get along well so it isn't a problem. Last year, she met a 22-year-old guy at a bar. The two are serious even though I can't stand him. I don't trust him. He's lazy and not very nice to her, but she can't see past him. The main problem is she wants him to move in with us. She says it'll give them the chance to save for a place of their own. I don't know what to do since she is paying her share...but my gut says NO! Help!
 
Jeanette
 
Steve says now that there are 3 people in the house, he has to pay up! Steve thinks this is getting to be like a refugee camp if the deadbeat dude is staying without paying. It’s a 'no lose' for Jeanette if she puts here foot down here and says no. Well, she loses a bit in the financial department, but she is helping the daughter, not the daughter helping her out. Steve’s thinks there are concessions you make when you move back home.
 
Slacker thinks that he can come over and stay the night, whenever. How many times is too many before you have to donate to the fund? Since it is her daughter, do you give up some of your right’s as a human being because you moved back in with your parents? Slacker says yes.
 
Does Jeanette still get a say as a parent or does she have to concede? 
 
If she’s only paying half the note on the house, that is not exactly half of the bills. So my thought is this…Put your damn foot down, girl! It was your place to start. She’s 28. Later on, she’ll be thanking you for the decision, trust me. He may or may not work out. If you see this through, she’ll see through him in the end. I know this because he’ll have to find a way to pay his share if she’s moves out, based on your decision. Then it will be very obvious this guy is a sponge. Don’t regress, progress baby!
 
Peace, Love and Good Happiness Stuff! - Intern Ray

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06/25/2012 4:25PM
OPP: Move Daughter's Boyfriend In?
Please Enter Your Comments Below
06/25/2012 6:01PM
as a daughter
Slacker and steve I have to write this because I was on hold for over 20 minutes on this subject. I am a daughter who moved back home because my daughter was dying at 2 and a half the day I moved back my whole life changed. My mom was there for my daughter and I and things were great but a year after my daughter died life for me became unbearable and still is. I decided after that I would go out and have fun live life alittle so I started dating I was 26 at the time every time I would leave the house my mom would call me the S word and yell at me. She drove off 4 different guys, Then I met my now fiancee, my mom is now suffering from r health issues and she HATES my fiancee with a passion if I leave the house she calls my cell phone and leaves nasty messages, she tells me if I leave the house she is going to call the cops when I get home with my 2 year old daughter. She has threatened to lock me in the house, she will NOT let my fiancee come to our house to see his daughter NOTHING. I live with a parent who is more like a dictator then a mom, then she wonders why I don't like spending time with her. I'm 32 now and I can't get out I clean her house, do all the laundry take care of her 24/7 and my daughter and people who say girls are loosers for staying at home sometimes they don't know the extent of why some of us can't leave. I love my mom she's my mom but she somehow has it in her head she can full fill my needs and my daughters needs and wants me to break up with my fiancee'. I once had everything packed up and was ready to move out, GREAT right. I was saving money my mom went into my room and unpacked everything, and told me if I leave she will never talk to me or my daughter again, that she had no problem writing us out of her life. She hates my fiancee so much she wouldn't come to the hospital the day my daughter was born and just like this mom she says it's because how he treats me. Mom's have a right to have a say but they don't have the right to control or dictate a child's life. If this mom doesn't like the guy then don't live with the daughter, but if she gets the room mate from Hell pardon my language well she gets what she deserves from trying to control and dictate her daughter. I am on the daughters side on this. The mom is 2 fries short of a happy meal if you ask me.
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