“Yi guys. I have a problem that I need advice on how to resolve. My mom has been working at the same company for almost 13 years until she got laid off 3 years ago. I got a job around the same time she got laid off and I had to provide for her since then. I never minded at all, in fact I was glad to. However, she never looked for a job after she was laid off. About a year ago, I asked her if she could please try to find something because we really need the money. She refuses to get a job and says that after all of the years she's supported me, I should do the same for her. I love my mother and I'm happy to help but I want her to get a job and help at least a little. Mind you, she is in perfect health and has a clean record so I don't see why she doesn't try looking, and I am 20 years old, about to be 21 and i have a good job, but I would like to start saving at least a little bit in an account, but I am unable to because of this. Am I wrong for asking this of her?
Both Slacker and Steve understand her problem because she’s only twenty and this is the age for Emadina to focus on herself because she’s young and building her independence. However, she can’t just abandon her mom, but she needs to hold her accountable on some level. Emadina didn’t choose to be born and she doesn’t need to pay her mother back, especially since her mother is perfectly capable of taking care of herself.
What advice do you have?
I think it’s nonsense that her mother thinks that her daughter owes her… especially owes her at
twenty years old. Sure, it’s wonderful that her mother supported her during her childhood (Emadina didn’t ask to be born and ultimately supported, but I’m sure she appreciates that fact), but her twenty year old daughter owes her nothing more than a “thank you” because she was obviously raised to be an extremely independent and self-sufficient human. I’m around Emadina’s age and I can’t imagine having to support one of my parents, I can hardly support myself entirely on my own. Moral of the story, Emadina does not owe her mother the support right now and ultimately mom needs to buck up, find a job (resting on her lay off is only a cop out), and support herself because she’s clearly capable!
(photo courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net)