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OPP: Mom Wants Me Home For Her Cancer


Christine just moved from Washington State and just finished her freshman year of college. Her mother had cancer when she was in highschool and she basically took care of her. Now, her cancer is back and she wants her to move home to take care of her. She doesn't want to go back home now because she feels so established where she is in life. 

Steve's thinking that the first time, she was her mother's rock. Maybe that's why she pulled through the first time. Also, Steve's been in almost the same situation. His mother died of cancer and he was out of town at the time. He couldn't make it back because of weather interfering with transportation. He said that he used to want to give anything up to be with his mom in that situation, but now he's more ok with it. She did talk with him before he passed and told him it was ok. Slacker said that it's horrifying to say, but it's selfish of her mom to ask her to come back. Her job as a parent is to have her daughter to be as successful as she can be when she's gone. Isn't this just preventing that?

I think she should go home. Yeah, college is important, but family trumps that for me. Her mom has cancer--I can't even imagine how hard that would be to go through. Even though I understand that she doesn't want to deal with the stress of it again, I wouldn't want to be in her place if she decides not to go home and her mom loses the battle. If I were in her shoes, I'd think about it this way: she can always go back to college, but she can't turn back time to be with her mom. 

What do you think she should do?

Until Next Time, xoxo--Intern Elizabeth

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12/06/2011 3:02PM
OPP: Mom Wants Me Home For Her Cancer
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12/06/2011 4:43PM
Tough situation!
While I admire her for wanting her own life, I believe she is being very selfish. Family is everything and we should always support our family through thick and thin. My situation is a little different. I had to quit my job and give up my life when my son was born 4 months premature. I dropped it all to stay with my son in a NICU for 170 days. I never looked back even though I have another child, who is now 6, at home. I am still a stay at home mother caring for my son, who is a special needs child. He is on oxygen full time due to chronic lung disease and has pulmonary hypertension. He also has a paralyzed vocal cord and is fed by a g-tube in his stomach. He is developmentally delayed and cannot be placed in a daycare because of his medical conditions. I choose family over money and I choose to give my son the care he needs, even if it meant I gave up everything in my life. I know in time, he will understand why I did this for him and for our family. He is now 2 and there are no signs that I will be able to put him in daycare anytime soon. All I can say is that family comes matter what. If my parents were to call and need help because of a life threatening illness, I would be there for them too even with all I have going on in my life. I do believe it is selfish on her part, as she is young too. Your Mother needs your help! Kristin K
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