Today's OPP comes from Candy...
So I am in a bit of a situation here. My BFF asked me to be a bridesmaid in her upcoming wedding and I don't know what to say. The thing is, she has been on and off with this guy for a few years and they have a daughter together. They were married in 2009 and just finalized their divorce this fall!!! Now they are getting remarried in June. I absolutely do not think it's going to work out. He has two kids from a previous marriage and my friend doesn't like them at all. She also told me her fiance has an alcohol problem. I don't think this marriage is good for her or her daughter.
I don't want to waste my time and money on a dress, travel expenses, a hotel and all the other things that go into a wedding because I doubt they will stay together for longer than a year or two. I want to be a supportive friend, but I don't want to be in this wedding. Any advice on what I should tell her? Thanks.
Slacker wants to know if Steve has known anyone to stand up at a wedding? He thinks being on a jury is a privelege! Alot of people feel the same way about being asked to be in a wedding. You might feel like a guy in a foxhole, but is there a way to politely decline? Does the guy she just divorced really need someone to come up to him and set him straight. Both times Slacker was asked to be in a wedding, he accepted. He's not saying he wanted to be in both of the ceremonies. One was his brother and the other was kind of a bone that got thrown at him. Like, "Do you want to be an usher?" He still thinks it's a lot like jury duty. It would be an honor to be a participant in your friends wedding.
Steve doesn't know how you can pull that off, save the friendship and be completely honest... Steve always forget about these details...wedding details!
They both agree that she Candy should be able to tell her friend exactly what she wants to tell her. If the friendship is strong enough!
What advice do you have for Candy?
I would go for it. I had friend's of mine tell me I shouldn't get married the first time. I respected their opinions at the time and I got married anyway. Candy should at least get it out of her system and clear her conscience. That way, she's taking care of her end of the friendship. Her girlfriend will make her own decision no matter what Candy feels about this guy...
Peace, Love and Good Happiness Stuff! - Ray the Intern
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