Today’s OPP has been married 6 years and just discovered something MAJOR her husband did while they were dating. He was out in Vegas on a business trip and chatted up a woman on the plane. He didn't use protection and she is absolutely floored, being unsure what to do.
“Yi! I've been married 6 years. We met up with my husband's friend and his wife for dinner on Friday. This is a guy he hasn't seen in about 8 years so it was right after we started dating. During dinner they are going back and forth telling stories and us girls are talking. His buddy is getting really drunk and apparently let’s it slip, a secret story. My husband had sex with a prostitute AFTER we started dating. I was floored and he tried to backtrack several times and said it was a joke. I finally got it out of him that he was on a flight to Vegas for a work conference and talked up a girl on the flight who happened to be a hooker. They met up later that night. He said it was unprotected. I have no idea what to do now. I can’t even look at him. HELP! –Candy”
Slacker believes in the ‘what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas’, she should let it go.
What advice do you have for her?
(Photo courtesy of www.freedigitalphotos.com)
The what's so is that hubby hooked up with a woman. She needs to change her perspective (the story) because her current thoughts are dictating feelings of hurt. If she can focus her thoughts back on the reasons she chose to marry him, as well as her wedding vows, it could give her more strength and move out of victim mode.
Everyone gets so caught up in "the principle" and "morals." This causes conflict, then divorce and self-proclaimed broken hearts. Candy is letting a story prevent her from looking at him. Where is the compassion? He is a man, the woman was hot, they had sex. Sure, it was a big oops that went against the traditional rules of a committed relationship. FORGIVENESS! Our world would be in better shape if disgruntled women could get over their victim mentality.
ps - I feel I can say this because my husband came out of the closet after 12 years of marriage and two kids. Sure, I was shocked and hurt, but eventually pulled my head out and remembered we had babies and wedding vows. We agreed to end the marriage so he could pursue men. We even double dated on occasion because I practiced compassion and forgiveness. What's so is he loved being a dad and made a better friend to me than a husband.
Candy really can ease that pain by simply shifting her thoughts.