OPP: Friends With Ex's Sister
Today’s OPP comes from Colleen:
Yi! I recently broke up with my boyfriend, Shaun and it's been really tough.
But here's there part I'm having a really hard time with right now -- his sister and I became super close while Shaun and I were together, but Shaun wrote me an email saying that he doesn't want me hanging out with her anymore -- or even contacting her.
He says that if I don't want to be with him, then I can't have the benefit of staying friends with the people in his life.
I understand Shaun is really hurt -- but I'm hurt too. And his sister has become a dear friend of mine and I don't think I should have to give her up.
What's the right thing to do? Colleen
Steve said that they met because Colleen and Shaun started dating. Yet you shouldn’t have to give up the people you met during that relationship. When Slacker got a divorce his ex wife was close to his family, and his ex had a hard time letting go of them until Slacker’s mom said something to her. They both agree that Shaun is selfish for demanding that and maybe it is more of the sister to say something.
If they are really that good of friends I don’t think that should affect their friendship. If the sister still wants to be friends as well then I think you should. It might be a little weird and different but if you truly want to be friends go for it. I feel like this is something a girl would do more than a guy though. I had somewhat of a similar situation. I dated a guy in high school and we broke up. Then he tells me I shouldn’t talk to his friends or date them. I thought it was kind of messed up because they grew to be my friends as well. I kind of let it go and a year later I started talking to one of his good friends and we ended up dating. When my ex found up he was really upset and doesn’t talk to his friend anymore. While I understand he was mad we didn’t do it to hurt him and really it was about us, and wasn’t us trying to get back at him. I am glad it happened though because we have been together for over two years and I couldn’t be happier. So I think if she really wants to be friends with the sister and not just doing it to get back at her ex, then I think they should be friends.
Do you think Colleen should give up her friendship?
With Love- Intern Sarah
(photo courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net)