Her parents are aging and she is having a tough time taking care of them. Today's OPP needs to know what she should do with her parents:
Yi! I'm having a hard time taking care of my elderly parents and wondered if you have any idea where I can turn for help. I'm single, an only child, and I'm trying to work while having to run back and forth to their place to take one or both of them to the doctor or the E.R. I'm about ready to snap and I don't know what to do.
Steve was able to avoid this situation at the sad loss of losing his parents and Slacker struggles with a solution. Slacker's parents are 70 and well, so even he has a hard time relating to this problem. Both of the men encourage Tania to go off and try to live her life and to continue her career, but are unsure how she should go about it.
Unfortunately, I'm the last person to offer any advice in this regard (I wish I could help). Both my parents are slightly over 40 and won't be much older than me in the long run. And at the moment both are going strong in their lives and careers. Heck, my dad is still going strong on running his concrete business. He is out there everyday with the rest of his workers. I'd like to keep my parents happy with their independence for as long as I can, but if I was in Tiana's situation, I might consider assisted living.
What would you do for your parents in this situation?
I've been seeing to my mother now 94 for 5 years. She started in assited living, progressed to assisted living with a 24 hour live-in aide to now in hospice in a memory home with only 15 residents. I would suggest she contact a geriattic care manager (she can. Find by googling or use linked in) to find some with at least 10 years experience. She can educate her as to options and there are many permutations from 3 to 4 hrs of care a day and an agency has not proven to always be a good source and I have used many both here in colrado and New jersey. Care.com is a good source to direct hire. Either way check at least 6 references and pop in unanounced or get a nanny cam for peace of mind. She should have medical and general power of attorney if she doesn't have this already. A reverse mortagae may be the answer maybe not. A good trust attorney and tax professional is needed to explore this. Lastly, if you have someone who can livingly and professinally care for the physical needs you can spend your time tending to their emotional and social needs. And elders need both to survive and thrive. These are difficult times for all involved. One way tpo address this is with a third party present explaining though the need amy not be immediate it will be eventual. And it's best if they can be part of what they would like "later". Above all reizethat waht she does for their well being and the decisions she makes come from the love she holds for her parents. They did their best and she will do her best. In the end that's all we can expect from others and ourselves. (After 5 years. I am making funeral arrangements with no guilt and few regrets because I love my mother still and I've done my best to show her - love her. I believe she knows this. ). Priscilla irwin, aurora 720-936-3393
I am going through the same thing right now and it sucks. But there are a lot of services out there. Tania needs to do some research some services are covered by medicare i.e. occupational therepist that will help them with bathing and getting around. There are free or discounted meals from Project Angel Heart, free or discounted maid services through the catholic and jewish churches. There is also for transportation for medical appointments. It won't take all the burden off her but it will help. There are a lot of people out there right now that need work, and she could hire them to do shopping and errands for them.