I have a weird situation where I don't know whether to be happy for a friend or mad at her ... and I could really use your help. My friend, Carrie, and I met a few years ago in a weight-loss program and became BFFs instantly. We were both overweight and instantly knew each other like we were sisters. I've continued dieting and working out and the weight comes off little by little, but Carrie ended up getting gastric bypass and the weight just fell off her! Normally I'd be happy for my friend for changing her life so drastically, but Carrie has become a real jerk ever since she lost the weight. She's constantly making jokes at my expense and telling me I'm too fat to do certain things. It's like she completely forgot how it feels to be heavy! So how do I handle this? Do I talk to her, swallow my pride and deal with it, or just drop her as a friend? Please help because I can't take much more of this!
In Marie and Carrie’s position, Slacker thinks Carrie cheated. In one of his analogy’s, it’s like when you were a pledge at a fraternity and you hated all the hazing, but then you did the hazing after you were allowed in; It doesn’t make sense. Why wouldn’t you just stop the hazing? Carrie probably hated people making fun of her so she lost all the weight and now she’s doing the same thing.
Slacker’s gut reaction would be to cut the friend, but the fact that you would have buried a body with that person six months ago makes him second guess it. Steve has been losing weight and Slacker doesn’t think he’s really changed as a person other than his confidence, but if he would have started acting differently he doesn’t know what he would have done.
What do you think Marie should do?
I think Marie needs to talk this out with her friend. Explain to her that what she’s been saying is hurting your feelings and that you are doing the best you can. If she continues to make jokes at your expense then maybe she’s not the person you thought she was and it’s time to let that friendship end. I don’t think it’ll go that route, but people do change when they start getting noticed so you never know.