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OPP: Caught In The Act

Today’s OPP comes from Candy. She caught her husband in the act and doesn’t know if she can make the marriage work anymore.
Yi Slacker and Steve! I have an OPP for you. I caught my husband having relations…with himself! This may sound old fashioned, but I can’t look at him the same and I’m not sure I can be married to him anymore. I think it’s disgusting and I don’t do it, so why does he have to? Plus, he was watching pornography when I caught him and I find that highly offensive! It degrades women and it makes me believe that he only thinks women are objects to be used for relations.  Is that the only reason he married me to begin with? We had a good relations life and I don’t understand why he feels the need to do that. Am I not enough for him? Am I not good enough for him? You are men, please explain this to me!
She doesn’t trust Slacker and Steve’s voice disguiser, so she won’t go on the air...
Slacker makes the point that it has nothing to do with Candy! He knows there are some people that claim it’s a religious thing and their partner should be able to satisfy their every need. Slacker refuses to confess. He got married so he would never have to have relations with himself again! Slacker says when you’re confronted with it and see it in action; it just might screw up your world. Slacker also wants to talk Candy down from this ledge…Her husband has been doing this forever and will continue to do this until he’s done and gone from this world. The guys will try to help Candy realize that this is just a thing guys do! It’s not personal…
Steve reminds us that Candy is questioning the marriage because of her husbands’ actions, and he thinks Candy assumes that her man is different from every other man on the planet. Steve is curious if Candy’s husband thinks of her during these moments of intimacy? Would that make a difference? He also wants to know if Slacker thinks of his wife or possibly past partners if he were to still partake. Steve sounds as if he is in disbelief when he makes the statement that Candy doesn’t even partake herself?
Can you help her save her marriage or should she run?
Me personally? I’m a huge fan of myself. If you can’t love yourself, you’re no good to anybody else. I think it’s an anatomy thing. Guys like to fix things. I had a buddy who swore he never had relations with himself, but his wife would tell me stories of how she would try to open the door to the bathroom and he would be busy and seemed to be interrupted be her trying to enter without notice. They’ve since divorced! It is not a deal breaker as long as your love life doesn’t suffer from it. If you keep it a secret, endanger yourself or expose yourself to others by being indecent, then you should seek some professional help. There’s more to your activity than just a release.  
Peace, Love and Good Happiness Stuff! – Ray the Intern

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07/02/2012 3:23PM
OPP: Caught In The Act
Please Enter Your Comments Below
07/02/2012 5:16PM
OPP July 2, 2012
Let us all face it, getting yourself off is normal. From the age of three humans realize that their private parts are sensitive and thus, they play. Sure, a parent has to pull a child away and say that that behavior is only for "alone time," but we cannot condemn a behavior that is rooted in our life. In fact, I encourage my boyfriend to get himself off when I am not in the mood and he does the same for me. If we did not, we would be a lot more cranky and a rift would be placed in the relationship. So, people- play away.
07/02/2012 5:22PM
Get help
I think that Candy needs to look into some serious mental health therapy. What her husband was doing it natural and perfectly normal. That she thinks this is such an issue leads me to believe she needs to seek help for herself and get in touch with her inner goddess :)
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