I’m writing you because I am so upset with my dad. About 10 years ago my mom and dad bought a burial plot next to each other. Well, 2 years ago my mom passed away. It was a really tough time for me, my sister and my dad. Now, my dad has remarried and wants to sell his plot next to mom because he says he wants to be buried with his new wife. I just don’t see how he can do that! He made a promise to her while she was alive and now he is breaking it! She was the woman that gave him both of his daughters and many happy years. How do I confront him and tell him that it’s not fair of him to sell his burial plot with my mom?
Slacker thinks it depends on how long you have been married to the first spouse and then the second spouse. If you were only married to your first spouse for a few years and they die and you get remarried and are married to them for a long time he gets how that situation maybe different. It depends on the situation but he can understand how Candice is upset because her mom and dad have been married for a long time, raised children together, and then right after her mom’s death her dad remarries and kind of forgets her mom. It’s till death do us part then all bets are off, right? Slacker really doesn’t know what he would tell Candice to do in this situation.
If I was in this situation I would confront my Dad and talk to him about how I feel. While I know this is upsetting you have to realize that he lost someone too. I would be upset too, because it would feel like someone was taking the place of my mom. If I was the dad in this situation and I spent most of my life with a person, had a family with them and the only reason we are not together is because my spouse died, I would still be buried next to them. Doesn’t mean I don’t love my new partner but there was something between me and my first spouse that can’t be broken. I love the option of maybe having them buried on either side of you so you’re not picking one over the other. Ultimately both sides have to be understanding of each other because this is a hard subject and it depends on the situation.