Today, we have an OPP from Savannah. She is only 13 years old! Here is what she wrote to us:
I have a question for Slacker & Steve. Can I tell my mom & dad I just want them to split up? They fight all the time. As soon as my dad gets home from work they start fighting & sometimes they are still arguing when I go to bed. I know they don’t love each other anymore & I really wish they would get divorced. Mom said she doesn’t want to because of my brother and me. I’m only 13 & I don’t know what to say to my mom so that she sees that it would be better to have them divorced then fight all the time. My best friend’s mom & dad are divorced and she is so much happier then me & doesn’t ever see them fight anymore. Do you think I’m right?
Slacker started out by asking Steve if his parents ever fought and Steve didn’t have an answer. He didn’t know because if they did, they definitely kept it away from them. For Slacker though, it was a bit different. He can remember his parents fighting all the time. He can’t remember what their arguments were about but he does remember going to bed some nights really scared and really sad. He can’t imagine what his life would be like without his parents together, though, and he certainly didn’t want them to get a divorce. Somehow, they just got through it…
Surprisingly, I think Savannah is right. I don’t think it is healthy to see parents fight or anyone fight for that matter. I mean, yes it’s healthy at times, but not all the freakin’ time! It’s very unhealthy not just for the parents but for her to see as well. My parents fought sometimes and although I think they tried to keep it quiet, I could hear them and like Slacker I felt sad and scared in my bed some nights and because of their fighting, I hate raised voices and I hate arguing. Also, my parents are not divorced, but I do have a lot of friends that have gone through this and although it can be rough at times, their parents get along more apart rather than together and it looks like a better situation from where I’m standing. However, I could be wrong…
What do you think? Should Savannah tell her parents to get a divorce? Will she be happier?
I went through this when I was a child. I begged my parents to get divorced because I could tell that they really hated eachother. They denied that they were staying together for me but the day after I graduated high school, my mom moved out, so it was pretty clear that they were just staying together for me. As soon as they seperated, they both were so much happier and it was a great thing. I still wish that they had divorced sooner, but nothing I could say was going to make them change their minds. I think maybe Savannah needs to be supportive of her parent's decision and let them work it out on their own.
same here but 8 years ago ( I'm 13)
I know how she feels. Do a group discution, it works!
Hope It Helps
a 13 year old