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Lies Parents Tell Their Children


Here's a few examples of the lies parents have told there kids...

When I was young my parents brought home this very fancy maple syrup from Toronto, and I fell in love with it. We used it a few times, and then they told me it had ran out so we were using a normal version like Aunt Jemimah's or something. Apparently I threw a temper tantrum. Today we made waffles while I'm visiting home for a week and my mom mentioned how she would just put Aunt Jemimahs back into the fancy maple syrup bottle and how I'd always say something like "See mom? I can taste the difference".
I used to just spew out random numbers to my mom, telling to add, subtract, multiply, etc. She would, in turn, tell me what the final number would be. Blew my mind, and she was the damn smartest person on the planet. Then I got clever. One day I got a calculator out to make sure she had it right. She didn't.
My parents used to lock their door to their rooms sometimes. When a sibling or myself would knock on the door they would say, "You can't come in, we're talking about Christmas!" We would always get so excited thinking they were discussing our presents. They told us the truth a few years ago and my siblings and I were flabbergasted! Since then, my dad occasionally sings Christmas songs to annoy us (his favorite is Jingle Bells). And now I associate Christmas with my parents having sex.

(Stories Courtesy of

Slacker’s parents faked a ghost incident. Several things happened to convince Slacker that his basement was haunted. One of his earliest recollections was looking down the stairs into the basement. He had a meltdown and wanted his mom to make him a sandwich. As he was throwing a fit, he heard a voice say “You don’t need a sandwich!” He ran to his room screaming and crying. Slacker’s mom came up to his room and asked him what was wrong. He tells her what happened and she swears she didn’t hear anything! Fast forward to the present day and Slacker and his wife are at his parents’ house having drinks. He’s telling his wife the story about the voice and the sandwich and neither of his parents would make eye contact with him! Slacker realizes, OMG! It was his Dad! He finally put it together. Slacker thinks his parents were having ‘relations’ in the basement. Why not? He’s not going to interrupt. He’s too scared!
Steve proclaims Slacker’s parents are absolutely brilliant!
What lies did your parents tell you?
My dad always locked me out of the house after school! He told me he forgot it was locked and apologized every time. When I was still a kid I found out it was because he was having an affair with another woman while my mom was at work and I was in school. After that, not too much got by me!
Peace, Love and Good Happiness Stuff! – Intern Ray
(Photo Courtesy of freedigitalphotos)

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Locations : Toronto
People : Slacker

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06/25/2012 5:55PM
Lies Parents Tell Their Children
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