Today, Erik and Melanie joined us on the air for another great mate debate! Melanie has been a stay at home mom and lately she has been racking up the speeding tickets. Her husband has reached his breaking point with these tickets and is tired of her wasting their money, so he thinks she needs to come up with a way to pay them herself. They are her responsibility. She says it’s their money and it shouldn’t matter whose ticket it is, it should just get paid.
In a marriage, I do believe the money should be like Melanie said, “their” money. However, getting speeding tickets is not something that should be taken lightly, especially if you are a stay at home mom taking care of the kids. That just sounds unsafe. On the other hand, she is a stay at home mom taking care of the kids and since he is the soul provider of the family, he should help pay the tickets. I’m really torn on whose side to take, so hopefully you have some advice for the two of them.
it's not the tickets, he doesn't value her as an equal partner
He gives her an allowance??? When you marry it's not his or hers but "ours". Their relationship has a lot more problems that tickets....
Stay at home mom
What if a stay at home mom had no license?
Erik, she's your wife, not your child.
She's an equal partner in your marriage. If you decided to have 3 kids you knew the repercussions, it's not YOURS, its both or yours. I feel sorry for Melanie to be "fathered" by her husband. Get out now!!
He's dead wrong. I've haD 4 eeding tickets in a 60 day period then didn't get one for 5 years. Almost all of us speed. If tickets are causing this marriage distress then it will never make it long term. He's a moron and needs to figure out what lifes about.
If she's doing 100mph in a 40 then thats different. If they're 50 in a 40 then he needs to make more money and lay off his wife. Unreal.
Run Melanie Run
My wife could get 10 tickets and I'd never even consider making her pay for them. With 3 kids.... R U kidding me??? Getting anywhere on time with 3 kids is impossible. you have to speed. And everyone speeds.
This is one of the biggest problems, when one spouse works outside the home and the other takes care of their children. The "bread winner" often becomes extremely controlling. He's absolutely wrong to treat her in this manner.
U really trusted a public vote? Like moms and teachers are so valued by mainstream radio????!
Mel-the only reason u lost is bc moms are too busy to sit around and listen to anything related to the word "slacker"!!! You know ur right! Never back down, and yes... Show him what the other side of "his money" looks like by taking a job to pay off pesky tickets while ditching him with the kids for a little learning experience! ..sounds like he could use it! xo
Ps. Steve, ur an Ahole.
Hope u birth, yes, birth twins and have to stay home w them!
Don't pay them
What is he going to do if she doesn't pay the ticket and she gets arrested. Is he going to leave her in jaiil.
Melanie, you are right
Melanie, I am so sorry what you were experiencing in the show. You were already going through an emotional hell with your husband who completely lost any sense of reality and you sounded so reasonable and educated and the show was making it even worse for you (at least the parts that I heard, I couldnt hear much). But the argument "its about the big picture" for example is so ridiculous... the big picture reversed, looking on your husband's side is so bad, there are barely words for it for a non-native spaeker. I dont remember who threw the word divorce in the discussion, but if i remember it right, it was you. And I completely agree. If my husband would do that to me, I would be out of the home in 10 seconds. Does he have any clue what you did for him, having 3 kids with him and raising them? That is way much more than he could pay with money ever. He should respect you and value you for that.
Great Mate Debatyer
No way in hell would I be married and have 3 children with my husband and have to ask for money. Why doesn't she have her own bank card?
She needs to quit getting the tickets