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Great Mate Debate: Wife's Generous Boss


Just recently, every time Kelli’s boss gets a bonus, he has been giving her gifts instead of money. She doesn't see any harm in this, because she would just spend her bonus money on things like this anyway. Besides, the gifts aren’t taxed and it’s like receiving more money. They’re a team and she’s not attracted to him at all--he’s a much older man and has been married for 45 years. All the gifts have been appropriate and have never crossed the line.

Drew really doesn’t like this. He thinks Kelli makes excuses for her boss by saying that he’s just trying to be nice by giving her gifts instead of cash. It’s getting to be beyond flirtatious and it’s just abnormal. Why would he switch from cash to gifts if he wasn’t having other intentions in mind? Kelli should ask for her boss to switch back to giving her cash, but she should say it in a polite manner.

Slacker feels like it wouldn’t be as big of a deal if everyone were getting gifts. If it’s only Kelli, it’s abnormal like Drew was saying. He would be uncomfortable if Glau were to come home with a gift from her boss like jewelry. If it’s something that you’re not able to give her, it’s like another man is making her happy.

Steve feels the same way as Slacker. Unlike most men, he’s even ok if a man were to buy his girlfriend a drink at the bar. However, if it’s something that Steve can’t provide, then it’s just like Slacker was saying--another man is providing for his woman and making her happy in a way you can’t.

This creeps me out. I would feel really weird accepting gifts like that from a guy friend of mine, let alone my boss. I see his point 100%. Jewelry is a really sentimental gift, especially when you consider how expensive it can be. If one of my girl friends told me about how she's been getting jewelry--or any other gift that’s personal like it--for her bonus from her boss, I'd be almost positive that either he's hitting on her or there's already something going on between them.

Whose side are you on?

Until Next Time, xoxo--Intern Elizabeth

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11/10/2011 3:42PM
Wife's Generous Boss either
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11/10/2011 4:39PM
I am 100% against this. I agree that she should ask her boss to go back to just giving her cash as a bonus. I feel it would be completely fine for her to let her boss know that her Husband feels uncomfortable with the gifts he's been giving her. Especially seeing that he does not do this for anyone else in their work place. She said herself they make a good living, so honestly it really shouldn't matter if it gets taxed. I always like to give the advice of reversing the situation. So if her Husband was coming home with exspensive personal gifts from a woman boss, whom he spends a great deal of time with, would she be okay with it? My guess is she would probably mind. If her Husband is not okay with it, then she should not be accepting any of those gifts, and ask to recieve the cash as a bonus. End of story.
11/10/2011 4:51PM
Generous Boss
When people work together everyday - it is not unusual for them to become quite close. That does not mean that they should be intimate - especially when they are both married. Just because this man has been married for 45 years does not mean he is innocent - old guys are the worst. Their options have narrowed - it is either their wife or they have to but it. Kelli you are being bought and I think you know it. Your boss is your sugar-daddy! If you are not already in a relationship with this man, he is laying the groundwork. Unfortunately, because you chose to start accepting his gifts, there is no stopping it, unless you are willing to lose your job. I was on the air today and at one point you got mad and said "it's none of your business" which makes me think that you are well into this situation. I have news for you girl, you are not special - old men will try any woman on the face of the Earth if they think they have a chance. This man is hitting on you or already has. You are protesting way too much and once you divulged the information about the "spa' specials, there is no doubt in my mind. It sounds to me like you are trying to make your husband jealous and to let him know that someone will give you the things that you want and the attention that you so obviously need. Unfortunately, you are lying to your husband and jeopardizing your relationship for the attention of an old man that you don't want anyway and that will pass you over as soon as someone more attractive and willing comes along. Good luck - because one way or the other you lose - it will either be your husband or your job because you didn't set the boundaries. Women like you make the rest of us look bad - you should be ashamed for being a gold-digger! Debi
11/10/2011 7:30PM
Kelli wins
The lady above that called an wrote is idiotic, one you don't get two votes by calling and facebooking. You must be one of those who likes to be in other peoples business. You come across as thinking you're right 100% of the time. You are not arguing valid points just attacking her and I'd challenge you also by saying its none of your business. Youre statement above about her losing one way or another is false - if that turns out to be his motive and then fires her for not saying yes- she sues big and she wins. A person that high up in a large company cheating on his wife then firing a worker for saying no would be in the media so fast Get a phsycology class -any how- Kelli is perfectly right to receive gifts. For these reasons: She is happily married but it seems one sided; if drew cant trust her boss he is saying he ultimately doesn't trust his wife to say no if something ACTUALLY happened. Very insecure. A 12 year work relationship CAN develop into a good friendship, regardless of gender. I buy my personal friends gifts, and if I made millions, then I'd treat them well all the time with gifts EXACTLY the same way. Kelli said drew and her both make really good money in their separate jobs. So its not like her boss is buying her items he can't afford himself. The old man boss isn't competing with you. You won- she chose you and sleeps in the same bed as you. You sound as if the scenario is you showered you wife with gifts when you dated, then got lazy once you won her over and remain lazy and threatened that he is taking the attention away from you. If you want to see if the boss' intent is intimate, then do a lunch with Kelli and her boss only and politely see his attitude toward her for yourself. By the way I'm a male adult; not insecure, happily married, and trust my wife as she trusts me Go Kelli
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