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Great Mate Debate: Summer With Gay Aunt

Today, Annie and Tony joined us live on the air for another Great Mate Debate.
Annie and Tony have a 17-year-old daughter and for the last two summers she has gone to San Diego and stayed with Tony’s sister. However, this year Annie does not want her daughter to go to this summer because Tony’s sister has decided to lead a lifestyle that she doesn’t approve of. She has let everyone know she is a lesbian.  Annie is very conservative and lives a Christian lifestyle, so she doesn’t want to expose her daughter to it at such an impressionable age. Tony doesn’t see the problem. If she is a lesbian, she has been for the last two summer and their daughter is about to go to college so she’s going to be exposed to it either way. Tony believes Annie see’s being a lesbian as some kind of common cold that’s going to rub off on their daughter and that’s clearly not the case.
What do you think? Whose side are you on?
I am on Tony’s side with this one. I believe with that he said that if she is a lesbian, she has been for the last two summers and it’s not a big deal. We all lead different lifestyles and we should learn to grow, accept and love one another! I say they should let their daughter go to San Diego and have some fun!
Peace. Love – Assistant Producer Stephanie

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Locations : San Diego
People : AnnieStephanieTony

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05/03/2012 3:25PM
Great Mate Debate: Summer With Gay Aunt
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05/03/2012 3:42PM
Team Tony
Annie is like a lot of so called Christians, who confuse orientation with behavior. If Sheila does anything inappropriate with their daughter that is an issue, but so far their daughter loves visiting her aunt, so why is she being judged just for who sheis? As a Christian, it doesn't sound very Christian to me. BTW if I heard the woman I was dating use a bigoted epithet, I would have run in the other direction. Marriage would have been off the table.
05/03/2012 3:42PM
Team Tony
Annie is like a lot of so called Christians, who confuse orientation with behavior. If Sheila does anything inappropriate with their daughter that is an issue, but so far their daughter loves visiting her aunt, so why is she being judged just for who sheis? As a Christian, it doesn't sound very Christian to me. BTW if I heard the woman I was dating use a bigoted epithet, I would have run in the other direction. Marriage would have been off the table.
05/03/2012 3:46PM
This woman is an idiot
I was listening to this in the car with my 12 year old and she thought that the Mother was completely out of line. Being Gay is NOT going to rub off on anyone. It's not like she is going to be making out and having sex in front of her niece. This is the reason society is so screwed up. And her 17 year old daughter has probably seen worse just being in High school. This woman is sooooo frustrating, My kids (12 and 8) know about people who are gay and they do not think anything of it, they are human as we all are and they have feelings too. So get educated Annie and good luck not pissing off your daughter. I feel sorry for Tony... grow a pair and tell her see ya!
05/03/2012 4:03PM
Mom is not wrong to have her Opinion
Mom is not wrong to have her opinion. If Aunt just started drinking alcohol and Mom was against it - would Mom' position be accepted. These days anything other than the mainstream media POV is viewed as radically offensive. EVERYONE is entitled to their opinion - we should respect each others opinion - don't have to agree with it.
05/03/2012 4:06PM
Watch the Documentary Because the Bible Tells me So
I recommend that the family should together watch the Documentary: Because the Bible Tells me So. This documentary can give the family hope and understanding, as it further explores the relationship between homosexuality and faith through the eyes ofChristian families that have gay family members.
05/03/2012 4:16PM
Team Daughter
If Annie and Tony's daughter has been in public school during her high school years, she is more than aware that different lifestyles exist in the world. Homosexuals are no different than heterosexuals in that what is sexual is an intimate situation not shared openly with guests or children in the home. So, in that respect, what difference does it make whether the aunt is in love with a woman or man, it is unlikely that Annie's 17 year old daughter will be exposed to anything a 17 year old "child" should not be exposed to. Also, Annie, your daughter is 17 and is nearly adult. Let her make her own decisions. If you raised her right there is no need to protect her because she will know right from wrong, even if you have an archaic take on right and wrong.
05/03/2012 5:04PM
On Daughter's side
I have to say that I don't agree with the Mom's side, but I understand it. So many people are bashing her, but honestly, I used to be there. I'm an openly gay now and I'm a christian more importantly. I love God and I hope she will eventually see that it is possible to be both, however, her opinion is most likely not out of hate as much as it is out of ignorance of what the Bible really says. If you've been taught a certain thing and you've been taught to read the scripture a certain way then that's what you know and if you're a "good" Christian you'll try to do your best to live up to those teachings and values. I think she is incorrect in those beliefs and I know that allowing her daughter to go to her Aunt's won't make the daughter gay. If you're gay then you are, if you're not then you're not. Yes it will open her eyes to it as the mom said, but it's not a bad terrible thing to understand. People are different and the world is different. If the daughter has been raised correctly she'll make the right decisions and this isn't going to alter that. I'd like to know one thing...does she trust her daughter? The Mom is just trying to take care of her but in reality she could hurt her by being too intrusive. Give the daughter more trust and realize that she is able to make her own decisions and will do so whether they are the ones the Mom would make or not. The Dad--I agree with you that it seems like the Mom is spreading hate, but in reality she probably is just doing what she feels she should as a Christian. Bear with her and talk with her without getting angry. Getting angry won't help her understand truth.
05/03/2012 5:07PM
On Daughter's side
I'm an open L (female). I tried to write that but it didn't take it...interesting. I made a typo when I put gay instead. Sorry about that.
05/04/2012 6:30PM
Mom's side
If she doesn't want her child exposed to something, politically correct or not, than she should have the right to keep her away from it.
05/04/2012 7:03PM
Annie's Side
My sister loves my 13-year-old son and I love my sister; however, my sister and I are nothing alike. She has absolutely no morals. I believe it is wrong that her son (who is now 23) sleeps with his girlfriend in my sister's home. I, on the other hand, am much like Annie. I believe homesexuality is wrong in God's eyes. I don't tell people I believe it is wrong, because too many people confuse my moral values with being hateful. My sister wants my son to visit her for the summer. That's not okay with me, and it doesn't matter whether my son is 13 or 17. I love him too much than to let him be exposed to an environment that is without moral values. There will come a time when he will make his own decisions. While he is living under my roof, however, I will make those decisions for him. Call me a hater -- I call it being a good mother.
05/04/2012 7:07PM
What world does this lady live in!!
Wow, first of all I'm sure their daugter is well aware of different lifestyles for, she's 17 for crying out loud! Tony I feel for you, I'm sure that your sister is AWESOME! I have a brother who is gay he and his partner have 2 children, one biological and one adopted. Their children are very well rounded and have the best values, morals and respect! This is hatered at its worst! If you are really a christian stop judging and by the way God loves us all straight or gay! The best advice I could offer to Mom is please stop being a bigot, you are going to destroy your marriage and your daughter may resent you!
05/04/2012 7:58PM
On Dads side
Moms a douche
05/04/2012 9:45PM
I heard breifly what was going on between the two to of you and I could not believe that one parent wanted to exclude a family member based on whatever was going on. What if it was her family... I am sure her tone would change, but beyond what I think......How ironic Sundays dateline is about this exact conflict............maybe you guys should watch it.....maybe your daughter will be able to see her aunt after your wife watches what everyone in America has to say about this exact thing.
05/06/2012 12:33AM
On the Dad's side but some words for Mother.
Dad. Send her because by know from the info below she probably needs to get out of town. You have a right to GUIDE you teen in the right direction but to dictate to her about lesbianism being sinful and the other incredibly insensitive and offensive words You yourself are portraying a bad example. I also can't believe you talk about your husbands sister this way. Put the shoe on the other foot, maybe your daughter likes to go to SD to get away from your attitude regarding 'alternative' lifestyles and just hang with anyone she wants. Did it ever occur to you that his sister might have kept her 'alternative' lifestyle quite because of family members like yourself? 4A few things to keep in mind: 1. She will resent you for a very long time and if she isn't already mortified will be when you tell her why she can't go. I am sure the radio spot didn't help much. 2. I hate to break the news to you but she is going to school with lesbians weather you like it or not. 3. You really need to check yourself on the words you use because one of these days you will be in the wrong place and say any of those degrading, insulting and vulgar words and you will get checked. 4. You daughter probably has been through enough trauma because this issue was live on air and you unfortunately showed your true colors. She is 17, sound responsible, hasn't been 'corrupted' in past trips, let your daughter go. You cannot protect her from anything. The best thing you can do is give them advice and information and let them make their own choices in the world. I really hope you she is not learning these opinions from you especially with your vocabulary. My husband was so angry he had to turn it off. I listened because I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Good Luck Dad and I hope your daughter goes to SD. Maybe you should go with her or somewhere else for a break. This whole thing just saddens me and makes it even more important to emphasize to my children tolerance and to enjoy the differences in people. How horrifying would it be if everyone was like your wife. Best of Luck HipChick
05/30/2012 4:41PM
I was driving home in the car listening to this Mate Debate, and I very much sided witht he dad. But it's stuck with me for weeks now. What happened? I wonder because this is the kind of divisive thing that can break marriages apart. So, can we re-visit this couple to see how things are going?
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