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Slacker & Steve's Blog



Pathetic Presents

Yi!

The common saying is giving is better than receiving until you received a bad gift! Here are the top ten worst Christmas presents:
1. Toasters.
2. Any gift that has anything remotely to do with cleaning the house – just don't do it. Nobody wants your sexist scrub brush. You know who you are!
3. Ties
4. Self-help books, exercise books, diet books.
5. Don't show up at Christmas with a package of bacon or bacon-flavored vodka, or bacon soap, or bacon lubricant (yes there is such a thing), in fact, anything remotely to do with bacon, keep it in your fridge … or bedroom for that matter, where it belongs. No bacon for Christmas!
6. This one is for the re-gifters out there – yes, your presents are terrible if only because they are utterly thoughtless. We know some people wait until the very last minute to buy their gifts but its still no excuse. It is after all Christmas, pretending to care is what the holidays are all about.
7. Apparently giving marijuana-related gifts is a thing now. Unless your loved one appreciates this kind of thing, don't try and convince yourself that your boss would just love a new bong for Christmas. Its a dumb idea and sure way to lose your job too.
8. Pets
9. Magazine subscriptions
10. I couldn't decide which one more terrible to give for Christmas, bathroom accessories, like a weight scale, or sex toys. But since they're equally horrible ideas in any case, they deserve a spot on our top ten list (and both gifts are inexplicably worse if they are given to you by your grandmother).

Slacker says do you give presents or gifts? He says a gift is for no reason but presents are designated for certain days. Slacker says he has a horrible time with gifts. He gave his girlfriend a promise ring with a diamond and she got him a pick hair brush. He says a pick hair brush would have never worked for his hair. He says if you are going to buy anyone a present for Christmas to not buy them an appliance unless it is a chef. Slacker says he got re-gifted a waffle iron and he knew because there was still batter in the iron.

Steve says he grew up with presents. He says you can never go wrong with giving cash for the holidays. Steve says he had a coworker who was given a new bottle of wine and gifted it to another employee saying to her, "I went all the way to Italy to get this. I know the vineyard owner." He says that guy is a tool!

What is the worst gift you have received?

I received an electronic hair removal system. That said nothing but "Merry Christmas you're hairy… now shave!"

Signed,
Intern Madison
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OPP: Virgin Lover

Yi!

Natalie 23 years old and is dating a virgin who she has been with for almost a year. Natalie has had relations before him. He says he is ready to lose his virginity to her but every time they even get close to having relations he stops immediately. Natalie says her boyfriend jut turns away. She does not believe he still has v-card for religious reasons but just because it has just never happened. She is wondering if he is nervous or if he has a problem. Natalie has no idea how to communicate with him about the subject.

Slacker asks, "He is straight right?" He says he does not know how to help Natalie. He says there are two paths she can approach this with, she can be aggressive and take his virginity or she can be timid in the bed with him as well, and really dumb down the actions of relations. Slacker asks, "If he has a psychological barrier how can he be prepared for this?"

Steve says, "It's you Natalie" jokingly, of course. He says he is out of reasons why her boyfriend is not sleeping with her. Steve says that if she acts aggressive towards him it can just be over with for him.

What can Natalie do to ease his fears of losing his virginity?

I think Natalie needs to wait until he is completely ready and if she cannot handle the situation and the life of celibacy then she needs to leave him.

Signed,
Intern Madison
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Dreams

Yi!

Today we are talking about dream! Our dream expert Lauri Loewenberg is coming live on air with us to decipher all of your crazy dreams! Lauri studied dream psychology and became a certified Dream Analyst. As a child she kept a dream journal and one night her grandfather visited her in her dreams and gave her a life altering message and from there on she decided we can find the answer to everything in our dreams. Lauri has written many books and has been featured in magazines, radio talk shows, and on television.

Slacker says he was going to buy Lauri's new book Dream On It for her for Christmas! Lauri tells Slacker that he is not giving himself enough credit in his life due to his dream of him fearing of not passing high school.

Steve says this is too easy and he should be a dream expert.

What is the craziest dream you have ever had?

One night I had the flu and was on some heavy antibiotics and medications. I was half asleep but it felt like I was fully asleep. I was dreaming that two men were trying to kill my family and I while trying to bomb our house. They tried to capture me but I ran into the bathroom (literally) I thought they were coming after me. I tried to break through my window but the window would not open. I was balling and decided to get enough courage to go find the rest of my family in the house and once I found them I was out of the dream realm. I might have been hallucinating from all the drugs because it felt too realistic.

Signed,
Intern Madison
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Sitting on Santa's Lap

Yi!

Australian woman is trying to ban a favorite holiday tradition. What is it? Sitting on Santa's lap! Hetty Johnson claims that sitting on Santa Claus' lap is inappropriate ad she is pushing for shopping centers around the world to take pictures with the children standing next to Old Dt. Nick unless the parents request for their child to sit on his lap. Jenna McCarthy, mother of two, states, I wouldn't force her to be held by a random stranger so Santa is no different to me. I can understand the fear. We hype up Christmas so much and we give kids the idea that Santa isn't a stranger. What if they come across someone outside the shopping center dressed as a Santa?" A current mall Santa, Mark Overell, who has been a Santa for more than 20 years says, this idea is "silly" because all mall Santas go through extensive background checks and "are trained to do everything by the book." He thinks banning sitting on Santa's lap is extreme." David Chalke completely agrees with Mark. David says, "Surely it's better to teach children to recognize and report inappropriate behavior if it occurs than to issue a needlessly draconian blanket ban on any human contact – just in case."

Slacker says his parents would make him hug strangers. He says he understands because people are getting creepier and creepier. Slacker thinks that it might be better if kids do not make any contact with Santa even though it is not the tradition.

Steve says he understands where she is coming at as a mom. He says if kids get used to sitting on Santa's lap who is a stranger then they will be comfortable to sitting on other stranger's laps.

Lil' D's said there is no "stranger danger" with his daughter. His daughter motioned to the waitress at a restaurant to pick her up and the waitress did without asking. Lil' D says that was a boundary because you do not pick up a stranger's child. He said he feels violated. Lil' D says there is not a danger with sitting on Santa's lap. He has an issue if you force your child to sit on Santa's lap.

What do you think about this?

This is absolutely ridiculous! I never once got touched inappropriately by a mall Santa and I know my parents were never concerned about that. It is a holiday tradition and it should be continued. If the parent is standing there watching their child sit on Santa's lap and get a picture taken all in 30 seconds when would Santa get time to act inappropriately? He wouldn't. I am sure there are some cases but the tradition of mall Santa Claus' should not be banned.

Signed,
Intern Madison
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Cheapskates

Yi!

The popular recording artist Lorde admitted to an embarrassing secret… she absolutely loves dumpster diving or in her terms "trawling the in-organics." Lorde says, "It stays on the street for a few days and then it's collected and put into a landfill somewhere, but people drive around and go through other people's household rubbish. And, honestly, I've gotten amazing furniture, shoes, hats, jackets… I did this three weeks ago! I'm recognized every single time. It's so embarrassing!"

Slacker says he knows of a family from Extreme Cheapskates on TLC that celebrates Christmas day on Christmas 28th because everything is on sale. He says a certain employee would bring an empty tuber ware to work every day and he caught her filing up food from the scraps. Slacker says that he bought an expensive bottle of wine and enjoyed that and the more expensive the wine is you have to let is air out. Slacker kept the bottle of expensive wine and replaced it with cheap bottle of wine for parties. He says, "You have to fill their glasses out of their view." Slacker knows a family that would reuse napkins again and again.

Steve says that Slacker is a cheapskate! He thinks celebrating Christmas on the 28th is extremely smart and frugal. Steve says, "Thank God I drink beer over at your house Slacker."

Tell us your stories about the biggest cheapskates you know!

I secretly hoard hotel items and use them for everything.

Signed,
Intern Madison
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Topics : Hospitality_Recreation
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OPP: Sexy Massage

Yi!

Today's OPP is from Ryan!

Yi! I have a little problem that I could use some advice on. I have suffered from back pain for the last 5 years and as a result, I get weekly massages to help manage the issue. My wife knows about it and everything has been fine until yesterday's massage. The girl who usually does my massage called in sick and her replacement asked me if I have ever tried a New-roo (sp?) massage. I said that I'm willing to try anything and the session began. It started of normal and then I realized that she wasn't wearing clothes and was actually massaging me with her body. After a few minutes, she asked me if I wanted to turn over and I said no and it was awkward for a couple more minutes and then she told me that our time was up. So here is the problem. If I tell my wife what happened, she will probably not be as cool about my weekly massages anymore. I don't want to lie to her, but nothing happened, so why do I have to tell her anything? I really need the "normal" massages every week and I don't want it to be a big deal. -Ryan

Slacker says he and Steve should hold off on this OPP until tomorrow to go get massages so they can fully understand the situation. He asks, "Was that on the menu?" Slacker think this was not at a clinical massage place because the masseuse offered that and that it must have been a hybrid parlor. He says he never gets hit on because everyone knows he is married but his wife gets hit on constantly and she tells him and he respects her for that.

Steve says he needs to tell his wife because a lie is more important to a woman than a naked massage. He says that Ryan needs to sound as innocent as possible when explaining the situation to his wife.

Lil' D says that he googled a "nu-ru" massage and everything that comes up is XXX.

Should he tell his wife? What do you think?

I think Ryan should definitely tell his wife. I know that I would want to know that information. If my husband told me that information I would just make him go to a new massage parlor after I confronted the masseuse.

Signed,
Intern Madison
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GMD: No Son on Christmas

Yi!

Seth and Connie's son just received his third DUI and also got charged with breaking and entering. Their son was living by himself, but now he is currently living with them. Seth does not want him in the house at all because he has not shown them the respect. He thinks that during the holidays is a perfect time to kick his son out to show their son just exactly how important his family is. Connie agrees that he should not live at the house anymore however she does not want to kick him out of the house during the holidays. She said they need to show him love because it is the holidays. Seth says they have helped him out time and time again and nothing is changing. Connie says they need to pick a date after Christmas to have him move out. Connie thinks maybe their son just needs some counseling. Seth says their son's court ordered counseling did not do anything. Connie is having her son over for Christmas no matter what anyone says.

Slacker asks is tough love better? He does not have a side but he keeps hearing in his head, "But it is Christmas." He loves Christmas so much that he could not kick his own children out during the holidays.

Steve tells Seth, "Turning your back is not helping anything." He is on Seth's side because their son is using them and Connie is just making excuses. Steve says that he used to be that kid so he understands exactly where Seth and Connie stand with their son.

Whose side are you on?

I am on Connie's side because you cannot abandon your blood ever, especially on the holidays. Seth and Connie need to force their son into a treatment plan and plan a set date to do so. They should be discussing rehab plans with him now so he is prepared for the set date and if he stays then he wants the help if he leaves let him go, just do not let him back into the house if he does not go to rehab.

Signed,
Intern Madison
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Bad Baby Names

Yi!

Welcome baby Olaf! The new baby names that are trending this year are inspired by Frozen and Hunger Games! Here's a list of the top 10 baby names for 2014!

Girls:
1. Sophia
2. Emma
3. Olivia
4. Isabella
5. Ava
6. Mia
7. Emily
8. Abigail
9. Madison
10. Elizabeth


Boys:
1. Noah
2. Liam
3. Jacob
4. Mason
5. William
6. Ethan
7. Michael
8. Alexander
9. Jayden
10. Daniel

Slacker says, "All current pregnant women please do not name your kids after Frozen characters!" His daughter's middle name is Ana, named after his wife's grandmother. On the birth certificate Slacker and his wife spelled her middle name incorrectly. He says, "At least her name is not Elsa." Slacker thinks in 20 years that there are going to be 400 wedding announcements for Elsa.

Steve thinks that the name Olaf is pretty for a girl's name.

Lil' D named his little boy Easton after hockey sticks and baseball bats.

What are the worst baby names you know of?

Cooper, rhymes with pooper. My dog's name is Cooper and she is a pooper.

Signed,
Intern Madison
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Butt Dial

Yi!

A Florida woman was arrested after but dialing 911 and accidently admitting to stealing. She was telling her get-away driver to drive "normal" because she had just stolen numerous items. The call lasted 18 minutes and the cops tracked her down and put her under arrest. The driver was not arrested. An Arkansas man accidently dialed the person he wanted to kill while talking to a hit-man. The phone call lasted about an hour and a half and after the victim heard part of the phone call he contacted the police. The 68 year old man was arrested for conspiracy to commit murder. A Tennessee man was arrested after butt dialing 911 after discussing that he wanted to buy drugs. The cops tracked the phone call and found the suspect at a restaurant. Cops found a bag of pot and a pipe. He was arrested for possession. According to the FCC half of 911 calls are butt dials.

Slacker says he hangs up rather quickly when he sees he is being butt dialed except for when Steve does it because he is always wondering what he is doing.

Steve says he does not know how to butt dial therefore he does not do it.

Has a butt dial ever gotten you into hot water?

I ruined a surprise party because I butt dialed the person who the party was for. I was disclosing all the details with this man's wife and in my pocket was him listening to the entire thing. OOPS!

Signed,
Intern Madison
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OPP: Long, Lost Love

Yi!

Leslie just went through a bad break up so she did what some women choose to do immediately… call the ex! She contacted her high school sweetheart that still currently lives in her hometown. They have been talking for the past two weeks. He says he is married but he and his wife are getting a divorce they are just waiting until after the holidays. He swears it is over between him and his wife. Leslie is going home for Christmas and her high school sweetheart wants to see her. She thinks this could end in a fairytale.

Slacker says it seems like Leslie is going to see him either way depending on what everyone says. He tells her that most guys say their marriage is over to hook up with girls. Slacker thinks she should wait until he actually gets a divorce or go find a new guy.

Steve says he is a bit of a "loser" because he never left his hometown. Lil' D's father reconnected with his high school sweetheart and they are completely happy. Steve says it could work out. Steve says move on and find someone new.

What should she do?

She should absolutely not see him for one reason, he's married. She should wait until his wife has moved out of the house, and they are getting paperwork completed for a divorce. Leslie does not want to be a home wrecker even though their marriage is ending. He could be lying to Leslie as well and just saying the marriage is over just to have "relations" with her while she is in town. She needs to wait and see how to situation turns out.

Signed,
Intern Madison
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Hurt for the Holidays


Yi!

Victoria Walker and her husband were just about to string up their Christmas lights when hours earlier Victoria purchased an old tool box from an estate sale that she thought her husband would enjoy. When the two opened the tool box they were expecting old rusty tools; come to find it, it was globs of a green glowing substance that said "RADIATION POISINING. DISPOSE BY BURIAL." The couple called the non-emergency line and firefighters came out to their location. The firefighters accidently gave them the wrong reading by thinking the couple had come into contact with a very dangerous amount of radiation but once they were tested once more the reading came back that the contact with the radiation would not be enough to make them sick. An individual from the state came to get the radiation. The Walker family thinks this is a great story to tell everyone over the holidays! A family in South Carolina had a confrontation with the police when the police had to break up their family fight. The family was fighting about how to decorate their Christmas tree! Nobody pressed charges and no one arrested. We also found a list of procedure steps to take when hanging up Christmas lights. Here's the list!
  1. Keep the ladder on secure and level ground before stepping onto it.
  2. Place the base of the ladder one foot away from the wall for every four feet it extends up.
  3. Stay centered on the rungs of the ladder and keep both feet on the ladder at all times; if you need to reach something to the right or left of you, move the ladder.
  4. Never stand on the top two rungs of the ladder.
  5. To reach a roof, extend the ladder at least three feet beyond the roof's edge.
  6. Keep the area clear around the top and bottom of the ladder.
  7. When using a step ladder, make sure it is locked open securely and never use a folding step ladder when it is closed.
  8. Use the buddy system when climbing a ladder or onto a roof. Have one adult at the bottom of the ladder holding it steady while the other person is on it.

Slacker says ham is only for Easter not for Christmas or Thanksgiving! Slacker knows someone that was putting lights up on the roof and was getting really close to the edge. In order to keep himself from falling he flung himself back and he fell into an air-hole and impaled himself in his other hole!

Steve says he knows all about remodeling and can tell you all about air-holes on your roof.

How have you gotten hurt during the holidays?

I have gotten hurt numerous times during the holiday season. December is a huge party and gathering month for my family and I. We drink a lot during this time of year and there seems to always be a mishap of some sort. Last year I drank way too much "egg nog" and fell down the stairs.

Signed,
Intern Madison
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Psychic

Yi!

Billy Bob is very dependent on his mom and talks to her about every aspect of his life. He's become very reliant on her psychic abilities, and has her give readings on every little thing. Whether it be Connie, his children, or even acting gigs. Before boarding a plane, he calls mom to make sure nothing will go wrong! If she doesn't think it will be okay, or if he doesn't get ahold of her, he won't board!

Slacker said one of the most popular games you can buy for Christmas is an Ouija board. He had one once and fully believes in them! When he used his cousin's board back in the day, it was actually pretty scary. It seemed like it was even made out of bone or something. Nowadays the Ouija boards are like a sticker on cardboard, lame! A flight name was changed after a psychic said that flight was doomed. That same psychic that said the flight would crash also predicated other things in the past and they were all correct.

Steve says Ouija boards are the biggest bunk! It doesn't work unless you psychically move it! They don't do anything cool on their own!

Have you ever been to a psychic whose predictions or readings were dead-on? Have you ever been to a psychic who was dead wrong?

I totally believe in psychics! This is exactly why I never would want to go to one because I don't want to know what's coming!

Intern Alli!
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Cheater, Cheater

Yi!

A man sitting behind a woman who looked eight months pregnant at a football game saw her texting another man. She was saying things like, "I'll see you as soon as I'm done with him." "I wish I was with you all day." Every time her man would put his arm around her or lean in to talk to her, she'd hide her phone. He couldn't help it; he wrote the boyfriend a note to let him know what was going on and gave it to him after the game. He has no idea what has happened since but he feels good knowing he said something!

Slacker says if anyone is going to read someone's texts or read over their shoulder, Steve would be the one! He's become a pro at it now. Slacker says what if she's pregnant with that other dudes child and now her man at the game!? Slacker has been caught cheating by a huge family gathering. He wants everyone to learn from him, don't cheat near your birthday!

Steve says if someone is holding up their phone right in my face, of course he'll read it! Anyone would! This guy was trying to just mind his own business and she involved him! Steve hid in the basement once when he was cheating and was never caught!

Have you ever busted someone cheating? Been cheated on? What's your cheating story?!

I've seen way too many people in my life be cheated on. I have never and could never do it. Just leave if you aren't satisfied! It ruins people. Karma will come back to bite.

Intern Alli!
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OPP: Dad or Step-Dad

Yi!

The child/step-parent dynamic can be a difficult situation to work out...especially if they both feel differently about each other. Today's OPP comes from a young girl that is trying to figure out her relationship with the man her mother married.

Yi,
My mom married Dan when I was 5. I'm 16 now and I think of him as my dad. He's been around me pretty much my whole life and my real dad hasn't. I pretty much think of Dan as my dad. It really makes upsets me because I don't think he thinks of me as his daughter. If I ever call him dad to somebody else he always corrects me and says step-dad. When I ask him if I'm allowed to do something he says "I'm not your dad go ask your mom". Why wouldn't he want me to call him my dad after him and my mom have been married for so long? Did I maybe do something to make him not like me?
Ashley

Slacker says this is a sad OPP for him to do. He hasn't ever had to try and blend a family. If his wife and he were to split up, he wouldn't be happy with his kids calling another man dad. He would have his step-kids call him step-dad just out of respect for the real father in their life. Ashley doesn't have like a real dad though, so now he's unsure what to say. This breaks his heart. Just like you can't force a step-child to call you mom or dad, she can't force him to let her call him dad.

Steve doesn't understand what it could be since the step-dad has been in her life for an entire 11 years. He wonders if Dan would like to be called, "Daddy #2" or something.

What advice do you have for Ashley?

Maybe it's just uncomfortable for the step-dad. My mom re-married a little longer than year ago and I would never call him dad. I would never even call him step-dad. It's weird and pointless, it's just a title. I call him my mom's dude or by his name, Ray. He treats me just like my real dad does and we're very close but the fact of the matter is, he's not my dad. As long as Dan is treating Ashley with respect and does "dad things" then she might just have to let it go.

Intern Alli!
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That's Incredible!

Yi!

A woman's parents died in a plane crash 55 years ago. In 1997, a hiker was walking around the site of the plane crash and found a wedding ring. After doing some research, he tracked down the daughter of the couple who passed, and returned to her, her mother's ring! The rightful owner. Another man had donated a Christmas gift to a girl in the Philippians with his name and picture inside. This was back in 2000, years later, she found him on Facebook; they hit it off, and are now married!

Slacker says we over use the word "incredible" nowadays. He remembers when he was younger, his parents would watch a show called, "That's Incredible!" They would have someone on there about once a week doing something actually incredible! Once a guy had built a 2x2x2x2 tiny glass box and he could fold himself to fit inside and close it! At the end of every stunt, a Tom Cruise lookalike would yell, "That's incredible!"

Steve doesn't think we've said, "That's incredible" enough yet!

What's your absolutely incredible story?

I get to intern for Slacker, Steve, and Lil D. Pretty incredible!

Intern Alli!
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Topics : Disaster_Accident
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People : Lil D. PrettySteve


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Must-See Holiday Movies

Yi!

Whether it's ABC Family, Lifetime, or Hallmark, made-for-TV holiday movies are an unavoidable part of the season. They are on, repeating over and over in their sugary sweetness, from Thanksgiving until New Year's! Obviously, people love them – because more and more new ones keep popping up every year.

Slacker wants to admit something... He's having a hard time this year to get into the Christmas spirit. He has two little children now! He's trying to put up the lights and all he thinks about is how much of a pain it will be to take them down. He needs help getting kicked into the spirit! This past weekend, his kids went to Netflix and pulled up Frosty! But not the real Frosty, the 3rd movie and it was the worst thing he's ever seen. He wants that time back!

Steve watched Santa Clause is Coming to Town recently. Steve says Slacker only likes the black and white holiday movies. Fred Claus is the movie for Slacker!! It has his girl in it so he will be in the spirit soon!

Lil D says Love Actually just makes you want to hug people at the airport! It's not a Christmas movie but it happens around Christmas time.

What are your must-see holiday movies?

Jack Frost! The Grinch!

Intern Alli!
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Office Parties

Yi!

It's office party season, when you can destroy your marriage and career in one single night! Some companies are making employees sign release forms for the amount of alcohol served, sexual harassment, and they don't want to be responsible for divorces that may occur! If you're thinking about quitting, why not wait for the party and go out with a bang!?

Slacker asks if it's too stereotypical to say office parties are the cause for problems. Slacker says janitors closet are the most common place for people to get it on during the party. Pushing someone up against the brooms is hot for some people. Slacker says when they were in their old building, it was almost normal for people to be on the conference table just going for it.

Steve has hooked up in the work place but not actually during the office party. He remembers one about four or five years ago. They had a female coworker who was married and a male coworker who is also married that just started making out!

Lil D had a friend who was drinking a crap ton of red wine at her office party and the boss invited everyone over to his house to continue drinking. She ended up throwing up RED wine all over his house and had to clean it herself the next morning.

What happened at your out-of-control office party?

I haven't gone to my holiday party once in all four years of working at Texas Roadhouse… Oops.

Intern Alli!
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OPP: After School Relations

Yi!

Every parent is supposed to protect their child and raise them to be the best person they can be. Today's OPP wants to protect her oldest child but may destroy her relationship with her youngest if she does.

Yi guys! I have an OPP and need help. My husband and I both work 9-5 jobs and our kids are home by themselves after school until we get home. My son is 17, daughter 13. Recently, my daughter confided in me that her brother and his girlfriend have been having relations in his bedroom after school and she even caught them once. She says she is mortified but had to tell me because it's been bothering her. However, her brother told her if she said anything that he would be really mad at her for tattling. She is upset and made me promise not to say anything to him, because they're very close and he's leaving for college soon and she doesn't want to ruin their relationship. As a mother, I feel that I have to say something, as I am upset that this is happening in our house, and even more so that his little sister knows it's going as well. Help! Do I say something to him and risk their relationship and my daughter's trust, or keep my promise and not say anything??

Slacker has no idea what to tell her. There are times where being a parent, you have to break trust. Like if you were to read their diary and read something that was about to happen, you can't be their friend, you have to be their parent! How do you not expect your little sister to say anything?! He's a d-bag for letting his sister even catch him. These are Slacker's kids in 10 years and he said he would go straight up to Noah and slap him in the head if he let his sister catch him!

Steve says he's just about 18 anyway; he's just about out of the house. Ride it out, let the siblings just figure it out. Steve says it's a safer place to do it in her house rather than a car or a park.

What should this mother do? Say something or stay quiet?

Come home early once and catch them. That embarrassment would be enough!! If she does just talk to him though, he'll get over it. I told on my brother for years when we were growing up and we are the best of friends. It's life! Plus if he's about to go off to college, probably should have some sort of talk.

Intern Alli!
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Snapped!

Yi!

A recent study says when something upsets you, go ahead and blow your stack because getting hot under the collar is good for you! A couple attacked their neighbor with golf clubs when they found dog poop in their yard! They even followed the women into her home to continue to threaten her. Another man pulled a sword on his roommate after being asked to pay just $120 of the electric bill! A Washington man destroyed several products at an AT&T store because he was mad at corporate America. He said they were trying to kill people as he destroyed their property.

Slacker says every single person needs to occasionally blow. Just lose your stuff! Slacker has seen Steve blow up when someone put a Gatorade bottle on the top of his car, he flipped at the computer store, and when he smashed a car behind him. Whenever Slacker starts to snap, he imagines someone is watching him so he ends up feeling so stupid and regrets what he had just done.

Steve started a six week remodel project… About a year ago! He has snapped twice so far. One, his contractor watched him snap and the other one, he did it alone. He took an item from his garage and started beating just about everything in his sight because he couldn't take it anymore! He even admitted to almost tearing up.

What sets you off? What's your snapped story?

Intern Alli!
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Drunk or Kid

Yi!

It is time for drunk or kid! You tell us your stories and we guess if you were either drunk or a kid! These are the examples from today's show!
  1. I was naked and decided to break into a house when no one was home, then was found by the cops on the front yard.

Slacker: Drunk

Steve: Kid

Answer: Kid
  1. Due to fearing the woman at home for being late, I decided to take short cut and pass over a bridge that hung over a sewage container. I fell head first in sewage and waste.

Slacker: Drunk

Steve: Kid

Answer: Drunk

What are your drunk or kid stories?

Signed,
Intern Madison
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OPP: Dream Job but Pregnant

Yi!

Jessica just received her dream job recently but there is only one problem… she is pregnant. This is the company she has always wanted to work for with a great salary. If the company finds out there is no way she would be able to keep her child. She is thinking about her options, meaning she is thinking about terminating the pregnancy. The father of the child is her friend with benefit and she says he would stick around to help the raise the child. She wants to be a mother at some point but she cannot see her as a mother right now.

Slacker says the job cannot fire you for being pregnant but Jessica claims that she can. He has no idea what to tell Jessica. Slacker says those are two different life paths.

Steve says he feels "icky" and "awkward." He said either way it is all exciting news. Steve says they can paper trail Jessica and get her fired for other things while she is pregnant.

What should Jessica do?

She should have the baby and give it up for adoption. My moral stand point is to keep the baby in circumstance. There are lots of mothers and families that are in desperate need for a baby.

Signed,
Intern Madison
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Santa Stories

Yi!

Santa Claus in Wales, England needed a ride home. Who better than the police to give him a ride home in front of a group of young children? The children balled and cried thinking Santa was getting arrested and going to jail. One child said, 'Santa can't bring me toys now.' The police in Wales explained to the children that "Santa obviously has a busy month ahead, so when he asked if we could provide transport at the end of his sleigh ride through Aberdare town centre to help him get back to the North Pole, we were happy to oblige."

Slacker says, "Go Kringle!" He says he will not ever take his kid to see a mall Santa Claus because he is afraid of the "nog breath." Slacker is deadly afraid of clowns and he thinks Santa's little helpers is a clown with just different make up on. He says that even if he did take his seven year old to the see the mall Santa he would be terrified.

Steve loves Santa! He says he was always a bad boy when it came to sitting on Santa's lap. He used to cry and squirm. Steve says he did not know there was a SantaCon but he definitely wants to go to it.

What are your Santa stories?

Signed,
Intern Madison
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How'd You Know You Made It

Yi!

We found an article that informs people when they know they have made it big. Here is the list!
  1. Having two cars.
  2. Having a total income between two people of 150,000 dollars per year.
  3. Having over 2,000 Twitter followers.
  4. Holiday at least twice a year with the family.
  5. Go skiing often
  6. Have a fully stocked wine cellar
  7. Have a pedigree dog.
  8. Matching bathroom robes.
  9. Have a collection of gilets.
  10. Have a television over 55 inches.

Slacker this list sucks because he knows a lot of successful people who do not have a second house or car. He says he knew he made it big when he could fill up his entire tank at the gas station without having to look at the amount.He says the first time he went out and bought sheets and he did not just walk into Walmart but actually went to Bed, Bath, and Beyond he looked at thread count.

Steve says he completely agrees with Slacker about when he knew he made it big. He said another moment when he owned his own washing machine. Steve says when he bought big coat hangers he knew he made it big.

Lil D says his big moment he knew he made it big was when everyone came over to his house for Christmas and family gatherings.

How do you know when you have made it big? Do you agree with the article?

I will know when I have made it big when I can go to McDonalds and order everything off the menu to eat then pay for liposuction the next day to suck it all out of me.

Signed,
Intern Madison
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I Got Scrooged

Yi!

Man in Pennsylvania was shot by is neighbor while he was putting up Christmas lights on his house. The neighbor said he show at him for personal reasons. The victim was not injured seriously, just a cut lip from a bullet fragment. Cops say the neighbor had over a thousand rounds of ammunition and 24 guns in the house. A school in the UK who were holding a Christmas fair got scrooged this week by thieves who stole everything that had been collected for the biggest event on their calendar. The police are holding an investigation in hopes of finding a suspect. Caroline Clark, one of the fundraisers organizers says, "It is heartbreaking. We all think it is a real shame because it is a little village working hard for local children.
"We have two big events – the summer fair and the Christmas fair – and that is when we raise the most money which all goes to the children. And because we are a small school it goes a long way." The organization is appealing to their local community for help to ensure that the Christmas fair is still a possibility. A mother in Utah is canceling Christmas because her children are ungrateful. Lisa Henderson says that her three children recently have had terrible behavior and have acted entitled. Lisa says, "There will be no Christmas presents given this year."

Slacker says he is definitely an icicle Christmas lights type guy! He said they have gone out of style but now they are back! Slacker says he definitely agrees with the parents in Utah but they are getting scrooged because the media is blowing up the story. He says you have to wait until after Thanksgiving and Christmas to break up or divorce your partner.

Steve says something bad that happens around Christmas is always "amplified." He said the kids love this media attention in Utah. Steve thinks the media should not be covering this story because now the attention is almost praising the children from their actions.

How have you gotten scrooged this year?

Signed,
Intern Madison
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OPP: Cold Feet Divorce

Yi!

Today's OPP is from Lauren!

Yi Slacker and Steve,
My husband and I were in a heated argument and I told him I wanted a divorce. We fight a lot and I was fed up with it. We're going through the divorce process but now I'm not sure if we're doing the right thing. I mean, I'm tired of every single thing turning into a fight and putting so much energy into constantly defending myself, but is ending our marriage the right way to go? I'm confused right now and I'm wondering if anyone else went through these feelings before they got divorced. Do I stick with my original decision and go through with the divorce or is my gut telling me something? Please help. –Lauren

Slacker says neither party in this relationship knows how to stop this from happening. He says good thing about a divorce is that you can call off a divorce but still complete the paperwork without filling in the date so if you decide to get back together but break up years later all the paperwork is already filled out. Slacker thinks if you do not have enough communication skills to tell your spouse that you do not want a divorce than maybe you should get a divorce because communication is a key to any working marriage.

Steve says divorce is a long and expensive process so she needs to be sure and understand exactly what she wants before continuing on any further. Steve says that if someone threatened him with divorce in a heat of an argument than he would lose some trust in that relationship because they automatically went to divorce. He says if they threaten divorce once he would be waiting for the next time when the threat would happen again in another argument. Steve says, "We always say things we do not mean in an argument but then again we also say things we do mean."

Should she stick to her original decision ad go through the divorce or is her gut instinct telling her something?

Always trust your gut instinct! I think any marriage can be saved. If you fell in love enough to get married you can always fall back into love again if both parties work at it. If one is unwilling then the marriage is at a loss but if Lauren's husband is willing to work things out definitely try to fix it.

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Intern Madison
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GMD: Throwing Boss Under Bus

Yi!

Justin got his wife a new job with a company that is managed by his best friend. His wife Jennifer says she is very grateful for the job but she has a couple issues. She absolutely hates how to company is ran. Jennifer wants to go to the head boss about how Justin's best friend is poor at managing the company. Justin says, "No you cannot do that because that is putting me in a bad position and that's my best friend." Jennifer wants to know if she could go to higher management anomalously and suggest some changes around the office.

Slacker says, "Your boyfriend will resent you and so will his best friend." He understands Jennifer's frustration because he has dealt with poor management in the past but he just thinks she cannot do this. Slacker thinks you cannot throw the reason why you received a job from this company under the bus and he thinks she is a bit cold by disregarding everyone in this situation.

Steve says she is putting her husband in a horrible position to choose between his best friend and wife. He says, "This is not a victimless crime." He tells Jennifer she would not have his gig if it was not for Justin and his best friend so take that into consideration by burning bridges.

Whose side are you on?

I am on Justin's side. She cannot damage this relationship between her husband and best friend. She needs to put up with the poor management until she finds a new job.

Signed,
Intern Madison
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Foul Mouthed Kids

Yi!

Children pick up naughty words pretty quickly whether from you, school, or television. So what do you when they start dropping those f-bombs besides laugh because it's so cute? According to experts it is best to ignore it if possible because if your kid knows they can get a reaction or rise out of you for saying bad words they will continue to do so. If you do not react to the naughty word usage chances are the issue will fade away. If you think that you need to bring attention to their language usage experts say it is best to give guidance and explain to them why to word is offensive.

Slacker says his theory is that the more redneck and dead beat the parent is the more unlikely their kid will be a frequent potty mouth because it is not as shocking to hear naughty words in that type of situation as it is in a suburb home. He says his daughter dropped the f-bomb while trying to say a different word and he accidently laughed and because he laughed he could not stop her from saying it frequently because she wanted to make him laugh. He says he would rather have his kids say the f word than G@! D@!# because his parents are extremely catholic.

Steve says that Slacker puts together words that he never thought were possible. He says that he is a "combination cusser."

What is the worst thing your kid has said?

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Intern Madison
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Hillbilly Hookups

Yi!

A heavily pregnant woman was caught hooking up with her partner in the hospital bed in the maternity ward while waiting to get induced. A staff member heard moaning coming from the room and told her boss. The employee was informed that there were no rules about having relations in the hospital. The hospital use "Do Not Disturb" signs when couples are having relations. Sometimes having relations, when about to give birth, can help induce the woman into labor. A couple outside their local county jail in Springfield, Oregon were caught having relations. The couple came out of the nearby strip club and proceeded to be "actively engaged" while the car was rocking back and forth. It caused a traffic jam on the streets because individuals were slowing down to watch them. The cops ended the hook up rather quickly when they knocked on the window. The two said they were "caught up in the moment" to realize that they were causing a stir on the nearby streets. The cops told them to move along but a commuter forced the cops to take action because the traffic was backed up. Both were transferred to separate jails.

Slacker says his hillbilly hook up was in the airport bathroom. The relations happened when he used to work for the airport and his girlfriend would just meet him in the bathroom. Slacker does not understand why cops say, "What are you doing?" when they catch you in the act.

Steve his hillbilly hookup was in the back of his car in a state park. Steve says he and his partner got caught by the cops and were told that having relations in a state park was a federal offense.

Lil D got caught mid act in his car the day after he came back from hunting. He and his partner were laying on ammo and when the cops saw that he had the ammo in the car he called in the swat team to investigate!

Have you ever hooked up in a strange place or a strange way? We want to hear the G-rated version!

Signed,
Intern Madison
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OPP: Pot Brownies

Yi!

Today's OPP is from Mallory!

Yi guys,
There is a woman at my work that I've never really gotten along with. The other day I thought she was trying to be nice because she offered me some goodies she baked at home. After I ate one, she told me it was her "special recipe" but I shouldn't "get to messed up." I'm so mad at her! Most people at my work don't know, but I'm on probation and could get in some serious trouble if they decide to test me now. Why would you give someone something that could get them in trouble without telling them first? Do I confront her? What do I say? What do I do if my PO decides to test me? -Mallory

Slacker says he had a lot of musician friends that always offered him drugs but they always told him exactly what he was being offered. He says that he is so freaked out about being drugged by someone else that he declined homemade bars at the studio baked by a woman that looked like she would be the last person earth to make "special baked goods." Slacker thinks that drugging someone on work is wrong but he thinks if the co-worker giving out the brownies was "that" girl in the office, Mallory should have known better. And by "that" girl Slacker says the one who you can walk up to and buy drugs. He thinks that Mallory should not have to divulge information regarding her criminal past to her office but now she has to in order to take action against her co-worker. Slacker says, "Mallory is screwed!"

Steve says, "This is considered poisoning!" He says she cannot go to her probation officer and explain that she ate a brownie and did not know it was full of marijuana because every single person on probation tells their probation officer that story when they are about to fail a test. Steve says that marijuana lasts in your system for 90 days because it attaches to the fat cells in your body, however, there are some remedies to get the drug out of your system quicker like drinking pickle juice. He thinks that if Mallory and her co-worker did not get along than maybe her co-worker was trying to sabotage her.

Should she confront her co-worker? What should she say? What should she tell her probation officer if she gets tested?

Mallory should definitely confront her coworker because what she did was very wrong. She should tell her co-worker that if she gets tested for drugs by her probation officer and fails that she is going to bail her out and explain to her probation exactly why she failed the test.

Signed,
Intern Madison
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Public Transportation

Yi!

Brian Robinson claims that the best place to find a date is in the subway system. He has used "subway swagger" to receive over 500 girl's numbers. Brian is so sure in this method he even wrote a book about it! A Brooklyn woman had a crew of gun runners to transport illegal firearms from Florida to New York in a purple suitcase. The guns were transported by bus. Natasha Harris routinely purchased firearms from a Florida gun show and had them hauled in the busses undercarriage to Chinatown where co-ring leader Quincy Adams sold the illegal weapons at a much higher price. All firearms and pistols were collected by the police and legal actions are in the process. A drunken British man headed for Cuba had to make an emergency landing in Bermuda after he threatened to "kill everyone on board." The man was arguing his new wife and drinking a bottle of vodka purchased at the duty-free store. The plane landed and the man was placed in handcuffs and his new wife continued on to Cuba without him or the vodka.

Slacker lost his license for a year because of speeding tickets and at the time worked at the airport. He took the bus every day to work and he admits that using public transportation has great benefits. He says it saves people money, you can get things done like reading because you do not have to pay attention to driving, and it saves time messing with parking.

Steve asks Slacker, "Is anyone hot on the bus?" Slacker shocks him by answering, "Yes!" Steve says he feels like the only people who use public transportation had done something bad. He once smoked pot in the back of a Greyhound bus with his friends and blew the smoke into a towel. He says everyone was extremely happen and not a word was said!

What are your public transportation stories?

I was on the light-rail coming home from a drunken night and fell asleep standing up leaning on the pole and when the train took off I fell of course. When I opened my eyes after the embarrassing fall everyone was laughing. All I could do was laugh as well.

Signed,
Intern Madison
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People : Brian RobinsonNatasha HarrisQuincy Adams


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Reading Kids' Social Media

Yi!

Kelly Ripa tells People that she snoops through her kids' social media. "I respect my daughter's privacy. If she wants a diary, I won't read that. If she has an Instagram, that's not private, so I will look." That's how it works in their house! Kelly says she is not her friend, she's her mom.

Slacker says if you just go to your kids Facebook and read their post on their wall that is totally okay. Slacker is torn because kids aren't so bright sometimes, like if kids are being pulled into a bad direction or someone asks them to meet them somewhere, they might do it. Some computers are connected to your phone so you can read them on both devices. Slacker knows someone who gave their child a phone and told them that they will be able to read their messages on the computer, but after a while the kids totally forget that their parents are reading them. It can get bad, Slacker doesn't know if he is okay with all that. Social Media and kids are such a fine line! Kids will suck at life if you don't let them fail every once in a while, they need the life lesson!

Steve thinks parents will reads kids' diary's if it's just sitting there or they know where the key is. Parents do it for their own piece of mind, not for their safety. Why teach them and raise them a certain way if you need to go back and invade their privacy! Steve's tip for the day: Stop paying attention to your kid!

Do you think it's okay to go through your kids' social media? Why or why not?

Honestly, I don't think so. My mom doesn't or hasn't ever gone through anything of mine and I'm perfectly fine. If you're raised well enough to know Social Media is just social junk, you're good! If your kids are acting suspicious or seem troubled, then I suppose you could go look around. Just be careful, most kids I imagine will take that personal! Also, I disagree with your mom not being your friend. My mom is my best friend and I tell her anything anyway because she listens.

Intern Alli!
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Locked Out


Yi!

A woman calls police when she is locked out of her apartment. Once they let her in, they spot her two bongs in clear site. After she lets them search the rest of her apartment, she ends up being charged with possession of a controlled substance, possession of drug paraphernalia, failure to affix drug tax stamp and disorderly house. I bet she'll never forget her keys again! Another man was locked out of his apartment and attempts to rappel to his balcony so he wouldn't have to pay a locksmith! Police showed up thinking he was trying to jump off the roof. He now agrees that a locksmith would have probably been a smarter idea.

Slacker learned some things about marijuana today. A grinder for coffee is similar to the grinder for pot. Slacker's wife had to jump off a balcony while pregnant when she was locked out once!

Steve refuses to remember that he has ever been locked out. He was cooking for a female, he went outside, locked himself out and boom. There goes his apartment burning in flames. (I find it hard to believe.)

What is your best locked out story?!

My parents' door automatically locks behind you when you close the door. My brother was house sitting for them last winter and he had gone outside to get something from his car. Since he was just walking to the sidewalk, he didn't throw on a jacket or shoes. Once he ran back up to the door, he realized there was no way he was getting back inside. He took a piece of wood from their fire pit and had to break the entire door open while in the freezing snowy weather. Plus, he had to pay for their new door. Sucker!

Intern Alli!

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OPP: Dad Told Off Husband

Yi!

Today's OPP spent Thanksgiving at her parent's house and her dad said something totally unacceptable to her husband. Now she's trying to figure out how to smooth things out between them.

Yi! My dad got a little drunk at Thanksgiving this year and told my husband that he doesn't really like him at all. I couldn't believe it when he said it because my dad is usually more put together than that, but he just had a little too much and it just kindda spilled out. My mom was mortified and told my dad to apologize, but he said he wouldn't because he did mean in, even though he never meant to say it out loud. Now, my husband refuses to even step foot in their house and I need this stand off to end. What can I do to either get my husband to get over it or get my dad to apologize?
Yvonne

Slacker is the same as our OPP's husband. If someone doesn't like him, he doesn't like them. He doesn't think you can fix this situation anyway. Even if you think your little girl had chosen the wrong guy to marry, you have to suck it up for her! Once the dad was sober and still can't apologize that's mind blowing to Slacker! If Slacker's daughter was getting married to someone he wasn't too fond of but she was committed to him, he would fake it for her. Until they got a divorce and he can yell in her face, "I told you so!" Even if the dad does apologize, the husband will never forget this. The husband will always be thinking in the back of his head, "This guy hates me." What if the husband doesn't want her to even go to her parents' house anymore, will the dad apologize then?

Steve is the kind of guy where if this happened to him, he would want to go back to the house as often as he could to just rub it in the fathers face! He wouldn't want to make his lady uncomfortable though. Steve has respect for the dad to stick to his guns the next day but he does admit that he's not thinking about his daughter, just himself. The dad slamming on her man is basically slamming on her and her choices.

What's your advice? Whose side are you on?

Eh I feel bad for Yvonne. That's a tough spot to be in. She is the one who married her husband and is in love with him so she should stand up for him, having his back. The dad should at least sit down with his daughter's husband and maybe they can figure something out. It's not cool for him to put his daughter in an awkward position, especially on Thanksgiving.

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Scammed

Yi!

Find cash on your windshield? It appears to be an early holiday gift, it's anything but that! Someone is leaving $100 under your wipers so after you get into your car, start it up, you get out to grab your cash, and the thief's jump in the car to take off! Some scammers have targeted seniors and taken up to $200,000. According to police, residents were called by someone claiming to be the victim's child or grandchild or by someone claiming to have that loved one in jail. They were then asked to send cash to a specific location or make a wire transfer into a bank account. If the "IRS" calls you for money, it could also be a scam! The IRS said if it is a scam you can tell by them asking for payment right away, asking for your credit card number, or threatening to call the police. Be careful!

Slacker says there are actual kind people who will try to pay it forward for the holiday season. In this case however, the $100 bill is one of the most genius scams Slacker has heard of. He says do not ever program your home address in your cars GPS because if someone steals your car, they now have your house keys too!

Steve says to buy a car that comes with a fob instead of keys and you won't even have this problem! Duh. Steve says don't hire those companies to hang up your Christmas lights for you, because they can easily sneak into your garage's and steal from you.

Lil D left his garage open the other day, ran inside really fast and when he came back outside some dude was already pulling into the drive way! Don't leave your garage open.

Have you ever been scammed or know about a scam?

I am such a psycho, paranoid 24/7. I take everything that I'm not completely familiar with as a scam so I have not yet been scammed, thankfully!

Intern AllI!
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Retail Rage


Yi!

It's that time of year again! Holidays are among us and people are getting stressed out! Have you ever seen a fight break out in a store? Seen someone get arrested? We are talking about retail rage!

Slacker and Steve don't understand Black Friday or why people fight in public stores. Slacker worked retail once in his life and now retail rage has become the new thing nowadays! When Slacker's daughter realizes she is not getting an Elsa doll for Christmas he is going to be given the worst dad award for not buying it for her on Black Friday.

Steve says Black Friday is not worth it! You can get better deals any other day of the week. Steve says it's because people are waiting outside for so long, they are sleep deprived and they act out how they normally wouldn't. Don't ask a retail worker if they "have any more in the back" because they HATE that!

What's the craziest thing you've seen or been involved in?

No, no, and absolutely no! I don't even like being around that many people, especially for a small sale. Wait for Cyber Monday! No lines, no fights, better deals, and you can take your time.

Intern Alli!
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Road Rage


Yi!

A driver followed a family to a nearby mall and began shooting at them! The family dog, a German shepherd, jumped in front of the car to save the family. The dog took a bullet a video captured him trotting off to die behind a building. Talk about a man's best friend! Two other men had gotten into a fight over texting and driving. It went from fists, to a knife fight. The victim ended up getting stabbed in the face several times and had to be taken to a hospital. The suspect has been arrested. All this, over some road rage! Yikes!

Slacker says the one person he road rages against is the one who thinks "I am in charge of the road person." Just because you want to go slower, doesn't mean we should all suffer, scoot over! There is an area near Slacker's house where it's only one lane on each side and there are never any cops over there anyway! There are times when Slacker is going to work and he's stuck behind a truck driving slow but he knows the road is about to open up to more lanes. The second the lanes open up, a car pulls over and gets parallel with the truck and now he's stuck behind both of them! To top it off, when Slacker finally was able to pass the little car, she had a different radio stations bumper stickers all over, WHAT!

Steve says just about every other day, he gets into road rage. It's his job though to let people know what they are doing wrong so they can fix it and won't bug him in the future! GET OUT OF THE WAY!!

Lil D came to an intersection where there was a bad car wreck so the police were directing traffic. Everyone is doing the exact same smooth thing to get back onto the road they were on, except for one lady! She tried to cut about five people off and Lil D wanted to "Steve" her and teach her a lesson! He got right in front of her, blocked her off, then finally he rolled down his window and yelled, "You think you're more important than anyone else?" Yay, go Lil D!!

Have you ever been a part of or witness to road rage?


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OPP: Flipping a Friend


Yi!

Everyone knows it's almost impossible to get out of the friend-zone. Today's OPP is hoping someone can help her make the transition from friend to lover.

Jill was live on air with us today! They have been friends for about 13 years now and she's starting to develop feelings for him now. Now she is starting to see how similar they are, they are comfortable with each other, fart in front of each other, they know each other's families. She wants to know how to go from farting in front of him to making babies with him!? She doesn't want to destroy a friendship that they already have.

Slacker asked in all this time, 13 years, they have never drunkenly made out or mentioned anything about relationships? Relations are the easy part, but the talk isn't. It's hard to get over that hump when you're already so deep into a friend zone. Slacker had slept with a friend after being in the friend zone and now they are no longer friends. It's going to either work out how she would like it to, or the friendship is going to be over. He says Jill should just go for it, do the drunk thing because if it doesn't work out, you can blame it on the alcohol!

Steve says there is one thing he learned on this show a long time ago and they have never hooked up, it means at least one of them wants to hook up with the other! Steve says he's unsure on this one since it's been so long but since she has just recently started liking him, it's probably possible he can just start to like her. He asks Jill if sleeping with this guy is worth their friendship.

How do you flip a friend? What's your advice for her?

My advice for Jill is almost the same thing as Slacker. I feel like you can definitely tell if a guy is into you or not. She can try the drunken thing if she doesn't want to lose the friendship or she can just try it when they are sober! You never know, he might like it! Taking control is fun sometimes anyway. Good luck, Jill!

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Let's Learn

Yi!

Did you know vending machines kill 4 times as many people as sharks? Are you aware that 54 million people alive right now will be dead within 12 months? Did you know the adult human has two to nine pounds of bacteria in his or her body? All of these are true! We are playing let's learn!

Slacker says a donkey will sink in quicksand but a mule won't! A rhino's horns are made out of compacted hair! Slacker just wants Steve to accept that he is going to learn stuff today. He doesn't believe any of the facts that Steve has to say.

Steve just wants answers to some of these facts…"WHY!?" Steve only has two to nine pounds of good bacteria in his body! Did you know there are a minimum of one million people that are up in there air every single day!?

Lil D says a mule won't struggle but a donkey will and therefore, the donkey sinks. He used Google!

What interesting factoid do you know?!

Intern Alli!
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Stabbed Stories

Yi!

DO NOT hire Jose Lopez! He showed up to an interview in California drunk and decided to stab a man in the office when he did not get the job. He pulled out a knife and stabbed the man in the arm. He fled the scene but unfortunantly for him he left his resume which had his full name and address on it. He was charged with assault with a deadly weapon. The employer was treated at the local hospital and made a full recovery.  A man in Georgia was attached with a knife in the chest but luckily he had his cell phone in his front pocket and way saved. The victim was taking out the trash and the suspect demanded him for cigarettes and money which led to the potential stabbing. The victim called 911 but the suspect ran and fled police. A stripper in South Carolina stabbed her coworker in the head with her plastic stripper heel in the bathroom. The victim was beaten in the head and was stabbed which led to stiches and stables, a black eye, and a swollen forehead. The stripper was arrested for assault and was put on bond for 5,000 dollars. A man in Texas stabbed his roommate with a kitchen knife because he was having relations too loudly. The roommate was in bed with two women when the suspect ran in and stabbed him several times in the head, back, and arms. The victim survived and the suspect was arrested and charged with assault with a deadly weapon.  
 
Slacker says he has gotten stabbed on an iron rod in a cemetery while he was trying to scare people.
 
Steve says, “Never stab a man when he is getting busy!”
 
Have you been stabbed or know someone who has?
 
When I was little my friend stabbed my third grade boyfriend in the eye with a pencil. His eye was severely damaged and she was forced to leave the school because of the incident.
 
Signed,
Intern Madison 
 
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Topics : Human InterestLaw_Crime
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Locations : CaliforniaGeorgiaSouth CarolinaTexas
People : Jose Lopez


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OPP: Perfect Life but Still Not Happy

Yi!
 
Caitlin went to a fantastic school and even graduated with honors. She has a great job and found a fantastic man but there is one huge problem… She is bored! She feels unfulfilled, unsatisfied, and just plain Jane! She thinks that maybe she has everything she wants and she got it all too easily. She never has had to struggle to become successful.
 
Slacker says he does not understand why she is complaining about her perfect life. He has no idea where to begin to even help her. He asks is she is satisfied in the bedroom and she responds with a yes. He also asks if she wants to have kids and she said someday but not right now.  
 
Steve says, “Her life is like Pleasantville, nothing ever bad happens”.
 
Do you think she is being selfish?
 
I think she is justified because I would be bored as well. If you work hard your entire life without having any rebellion or any cool stories to tell the kids I would be bored as well. She needs to do something that will give her an adrenaline rush like sky diving or bungee jumping and maybe she won’t feel so bored or unfulfilled with her life.
 
Signed,
Intern Madison 
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Topics : Human Interest
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Locations : Pleasantville


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Husband Horrors

Yi!
 
We all know it… sometimes guys just aren’t very smart! Today were talking about horror stories regarding your husband! A newlywed couple in Germany were partaking on their honeymoon and the groom left his wife on the curb outside of the rest stop! She was sleeping in the back of the car on their road trip. Her groom went to get gas and she went to bathroom; when she came back he was gone. He came for her of course after he discovered she was missing from the car about two hours later. A woman who was running late from work asked her husband if he would do some of the laundry… well he did. He also forgot to check the pockets and blew up an ink pen in the dryer. Another woman said her child wanted to play baseball and even tryout for a team so her husband took their son out to play catch and all was well until the first ball he threw… he threw it right at his child’s nose. The boy decided to not go out for baseball.
 
Slacker tells his personal husband horror story. His parents have an old house which means lower ceilings. Slacker had just had his baby and he was holding him up in the air and talking baby talk to him. He did not realize that his baby’s head would get caught in the ceiling fan! He says his head was deformed for a while but it is all straightened out now.
 
Steve says he knows this woman who gained a lot of weight during her pregnancy which is totally normal. Well the daddy of the baby which was a huge fitness junky left her while she was delivering their baby because she gained too much weight! Steve says that deserves the worst husband of the year award!  
 
Ladies! Time for you to spill the beans! What are your husband horror stories?   
 
Signed,
Intern Madison 
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Klepto Kids

Yi!

Lil’ D’s daughter is two years old and has the shoplifting fever! She steals chargers of all things. Her grandma came to visit and was charging her Nook. When she was leaving she could not find her charger. Turns out Lil’ D’s daughter had hid it from her in her room! Lil’ D thinks it was almost like getting her to stay over. Another time his daughter took Lil’ D’s brother’s phone charger and Lil’ D’s wife found it buried in the back of her drawer. Lil D’ and the family went to visit his sister and his daughter was playing with a bell the entire time. They left and when they got home his sister called to ask if he knew what happened to the bell and if he would check the diaper bag. Sure enough the bell was in a side pocket of a diaper bag. Lil’ D wants to know why she never steals anything he wants!
 
Slacker says if he got caught stealing by his parents, his parents would make him take the item back and apologize to the manager. One time he did steal earrings for his girlfriend in high school. She was not very appreciative he said because they did not come in a box. Slacker thinks that Lil’ D needs to buy his daughter a onesie orange jump suit.
 
Steve says he has never been caught stealing by his parents but has been caught stealing candy at the grocery store and gas stations. He thinks there must be criminals in Lil’ D’s family because his daughter is only two and a master stealer!
 
Lil’ D says he has a cousin that got caught stealing candy from 7/11 and his parents made him go take it back to the manager and apologize and the manager called the cops! He was on probation for shoplifting candy.
 
What are your klepto kid stories?
 
I used to steal things all the time when I was a child at the grocery store. I used to grab candy off the shelf and stick it in my pockets and walk out with it. When I was about 6 I used to brag about it to my mom and she would make me walk back into the store and pay for it and apologize.
 
Signed,
Intern Madison 
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Terrible Thanksgiving

Yi!

Depending on what state you live in, there's a very good chance you'll have a terrible Thanksgiving. But don't take our word for it. The website Estately broke down which states are most likely to have a miserable Turkey Day, using criteria such as, likelihood of family food poisoning episode, Likelihood of a relative making a drunken scene, likelihood of political arguments, and likelihood of someone abandoning dinner for holiday shopping. Calculating all these factors spells bad news for the people in New Jersey, Utah, Arkansas, New Mexico, and Hawaii. But on the bright side, families in Pennsylvania, Iowa and Ohio are expected to have a fabulous holiday.
Slacker says that if he tries to order a steak that is rare his father says he will get salmonella because a long time ago his father got salmonella from a pink turkey on Thanksgiving. He says that when his dad got salmonella he lost a ton of weight and that he is scarred from that experience. Slacker says he cooks the best stuffing but his turkey sucks because he is forced to overcook it. He says usually he is the drunken guy at Thanksgiving. He says his dad always tries to start a conversation regarding politics.
 
Steve says he loves Slacker’s stuffing and turkey. Steve says that he understands why there are so many political arguments because it is right around November. He says gravy shots are the best!
 
What are your stories about the worst turkey day you ever had?
 
I was in Dallas for a soccer tournament for Thanksgiving four years ago and my family and I had out Thanksgiving buffet style meal in a Chinese restaurant where no one spoke English.
 
Signed,
Intern Madison 
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Locations : ArkansasDallasHawaiiIowaNew JerseyNew MexicoOhioPennsylvaniaUtah


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OPP: What Is A Break?

Yi!

Today’s OPP is from Abby.
Yi, My boyfriend of a year and I had a big fight. Before he left he said maybe we should take a break. I've never taken a break in a relationship. What does taking a break mean? Are breaks a good thing? Do they ever work? Thanks guys! –Abby
 
Slacker says suggesting a break is a “slow burn” to a break up because the man does not have the skills to break up with her. He thinks that if a man suggests a break he wants a break up. He does not think that women ever suggests break because they know what they want and would never send their relationship into a “limbo” or “grey area.”
 
Steve says her boyfriend may be waiting for her to break up with him because he does not know how to end things or he wants to explore his options while keeping Abby around just in case if he does not find anyone better. He says he has never been on a break and would never suggest one because to him its “all or nothing, with no grey area.”
 
What does a break mean in a relationship to you? Do they work?
 
Breaks do not work! If a break is occurring in your relationship you need to leave,because most of the time it is basically like a free hall -pass. If your relationship needs a break you should not be together, because as corny as it sounds, love does not run.
 
Signed,
Intern Madison 
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GMD: Thanksgiving Tradition

Yi!

Cory and Laura are happily married but are having a small dilemma. Cory’s mother has not cooked a huge meal for her entire family for a long time and she wants to make the Thanksgiving dinner this year. However, his mother is getting senile and forgets things while she is cooking, such as salting the potatoes four times or using baking soda instead of baking powder. Cory says, “Go for it mom, make the Thanksgiving dinner.” Laura says, “No, let’s go somewhere else for dinner.” Cory does not want to make his mom feel un-empowered or un-important on Thanksgiving. He knows she will not be around much longer so he thinks why not just let her have what she desires. Laura thinks that beside the food tasting terrible it will be more stressful for her on Thanksgiving by having to make a huge dinner for everyone. Laura suggested a pot luck styled dinner but Cory just wants what his mom wants.
 
Slacker asks Laura, “Can’t you just eat bad food one more time?” Laura says it’s no problem to eat terrible food; she is just more concerned with her mom lifting heavy pots and being stressed while cooking. He says that Laura would hurt Cory’s mom’s feelings more if she is micromanaged in the kitchen. He thinks it might be time to tell Cory’s mom that she should be done making dinners for everyone.
 
Steve says Laura should just get passed this year with the bad food because who knows if she will be around for next year’s Thanksgiving. He does like that Laura is being an advocate for the rest of the family. Steve says there is no tactful way to tell Cory’s mom to not make the Thanksgiving dinner.
 
Should Cory and Laura let his mother continue her tradition for Thanksgiving dinner?
 
I am on Cory’s side. Let her make the dinner! She may not be around for the next Thanksgiving, so let her fulfill her desires to cook.
 
Signed,
Intern Madison 
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Tooth Tales

Yi!

Be careful eating those rib-eye steaks and ribs! Matthew McConaughey tells Contact Music that he cracked a tooth following his Oscar win. "I love rib eyes on a bone and so I said, 'This time I'm eating them with my hands'. It was great until the second rib eye and all of a sudden I snapped my tooth. I was like, 'Oh, G-O-D you're playing a joke on me'. I was so glad I didn't go to the steak restaurant before (the Oscars)."
 
Slacker says he has a friend that can pull string through his nose and out his mouth!
 
Steve says he breaks teeth all the time.
 
Lil’ D has a personal horror tooth tale. When he was playing basketball and was going up for a rebound he got elbowed in the mouth. After the game he noticed that his front tooth was pushed all the way back to the roof of his mouth. It was Saturday and when he went to the dentist his dentist was out of town until Monday. He rocked a bent tooth until Monday and even had to get braced to pull his tooth back into place.
 
What are your tooth tales?
 
In my indoor soccer league my friend was going up for a header and came down mouth open on another guy’s head. My friend lost his tooth in this guy’s head and he had to go to the hospital to get the tooth lodged out immediately. It was the coolest and grossest thing I have ever seen in my life.
 
Signed,
Intern Madison
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OPP: He Compares Me To His Ex

Emma is dating a wonderful guy and she is falling in love with him. Their relationship is getting more serious each day however, there is one thing she is getting tired of hearing and that is being compared to his ex -girlfriend. He never says anything negative to Emma. Every time he compares Emma to his ex it is always complimenting her and telling her everything she does is better than his ex.  His ex- girlfriend passed away in a car accident and never was able to get closure so Emma completely understands but she thinks he needs to move on and she cannot become close enough to him and move completely forward until he stops.  
 
Slacker says he is still hung up on his ex. Slacker says he does not care what his ex- girlfriends used to do right or wrong he would never compare. He thinks it is strange that Emma’s boyfriend would speak ill of the dead to compliment his girlfriend.
 
Steve says Emma needs to break his patterns and get him through the death because this is new for him as well. Steve thinks that she should tell him sternly to stop comparing her to his ex by saying, “She’s dead, you need to move on.”
 
How can she make him stop comparing her to his ex? 

If he likes her enough he will stop doing it if she asks, so she should just simply ask him to stop.

Signed, 
Madison 
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Worst Job

Yi!
 
We found a list of the top five most stressful jobs. Here’s the list!
1. Emergency Aircraft Pilot - an ambulance in the air, they deal with not only the stress of operating an aircraft, but having to transport people in emergency situations.
2. Teacher - they work constantly in an industry that's always evolving and have to act as life coaches half the time.
3. Event planner - the event itself is easy but planning and working with guests and trying to make everything work in the face of challenges is the hard part.
4. Police Officer - your schedule is insane, you have to be a jack of all trades, and you are risking your safety every day.
5. PR Account Executive - you have to work to please others constantly while being the person behind the curtain.
 
Slacker says 2 out 5 of these jobs are actually stressful and they are the police officer and the emergency aircraft pilot. He thinks that teachers should not be on the list especially above police officers because police officers get shot at and have to shoot back at people. Slacker say window washers for the World Trade Center have a more stressful job than teachers.
 
Steve says he does not consider his job a job. He thinks that an emergency aircraft pilot is not a stressful job but a fun one! He says all they have to do is just fly around in circles. Steve agrees with Slacker in saying that teachers should not be on this list because teachers get to play, color, and get free apples every day.
 
What makes your job so stressful?
 
I work in restaurant and the most stressful thing about working there is dealing with customers who are rude. It’s hard to hold my tongue to someone who is being rude and unkind. Kill them with kindness is my moto.
 
Signed,
Madison
 
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Kissing Katastrophes

Yi!
 
Liam Hemsworth says kissing Jennifer Lawrence in The Hunger Games is "pretty uncomfortable". He loves her but right before a scene she'd be like, 'Yeah, I had tuna and I didn't brush my teeth.’ That’s just fantastic!  If you’re a germaphobe you might not like hearing that 10 seconds of kissing can transfer 80 million bacteria. Kissing is though, healthy for you! The more bacteria, the stronger your resistance can become!
 
Slacker says if you never share a straw with your kid, nothing can be transferred until you do. Slacker says he will take all the bacteria in the world but he does not want to taste a flavor with it! Slacker wants everyone out there to know, Steve orders extra mayo on his tuna sandwiches! Slacker had made out with a girl once and she legitimately had a cat tongue! It was scratchy, sand paper-ish painful kiss.
 
Steve admitted he’s not a fan of the deep, deep French kisses. When he was 10 or 11, his sister had her friends over and they wanted to French kiss so she grabbed his face and went for it. It was so awful; it has scared him for life. Steve smokes so he knows he has a trash mouth. Steve has kissed a stray dog for 15 seconds to earn $11 bucks. He says the dog likes it though because he’s been told he’s a good kisser! “Mouth to mouth to their soul” to be exact.
 
What’s your worst kiss?
 
Intern Alli!
 
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People : Jennifer LawrenceLiam Hemsworth


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Wouldn't Believe Me If I Told Ya

Yi!
 
There are some stories out there that are so strange it's hard to believe that they are true! Brothers uncovered a complete snaggle tooth shark! They’re digging in their backyard and they discover a 15 million-year-old shark! This unlikely find will soon be on display at the Calvert Marine Museum.
A 91-year-old was recently pronounced dead when she wasn’t breathing, put into a body bag, and then woke up in a morgue 11 hours later!
 
Slacker is shocked that the people putting the older lady in the body bag didn’t realize that her body wasn’t very cold. Some doctor! He now wonders how many people die in the morgue! Like what if people wake up and just think, “Well whatever, I’m already here, I’ll just die.”
 
Steve’s friend was in his kitchen one day, sees two people outside his property. He ran outside but they were gone by the time he went outside, then they were back a few days later and he caught them. He asked them why they were on his property and they said they think there’s a T-rex skeleton buried in his land, and sure enough! He let him dig it up, they sold it, and now grandpa gets ONE MILLION DOLLARS for doing nothing!
 
What’s your unbelievable story?!
 
Intern Alli!
 
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